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0 kids n not countin

Let the Grandbaby Olympics Begin...

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0 kids n not countin

Did anyone catch this gem on the comments page of the Bateses website:

Don't quite understand Kelly's answer, income, house size, and material goods didn't seem to factor in to her & Gil's family planning. Also, WTF with these fans asking about babies... :angry-banghead:

 

 

 

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Wow, I can’t get over these beautiful photos, Mrs. Bates! Just being able to feel the pure joy from a photograph is really something. I hope your whole family is transitioning well with three (possibly four) of your children getting married within a year. just wondering, is there any sort of competition between Chad/Erin and Zach/Whitney on who gives you your first grandchild? That would be kind of funny and adorable at the same time.

 

 

Kelly's Response:

 

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We try to teach all of our children to not compare. We remind them they will all have different incomes, different size houses, different material goods, different size families, different figures, etc. Comparing will always lead to envy, ungratefulness, and depression. We hope they’ll be content no matter how God adds to their family size. They are excited about the possibility, and they do have normal disappointments when they have to wait on things they desire, but being content is something we work on! Love, Kelly

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singsingsing

People are ridiculous, can't they give them some time to breathe? Don't they know how rude it is to ask couples whether they're expecting or trying? Totally clueless.

But yes, the next couple years or so will be very 'fertile' for the Bateses - and for the Duggars, what with Jessa getting married and Anna probably expecting again within the next few months (and don't forget David and Priscilla, I'm sure Paul won't be an the only little pecan in their lives for long). Get ready, people, because there's going to be a veritable deluge of babies coming soon.

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sparkles

I don't think she was saying that income, house size, etc. factor into family planning, just that those are things one shouldn't hold up for comparison. Each person/couple should find contentment with what THEY have, not in how it stacks up to what others have. Not a bad philosophy, actually.

As to people asking about babies babies babies, I agree they should all STFU, since it's really none of their business. Except the Bateses really HAVE made it everyone else's business by putting the rest of their lives out for public consumption.

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Wine time!
nokidsmom
As to people asking about babies babies babies, I agree they should all STFU, since it's really none of their business. Except the Bateses really HAVE made it everyone else's business by putting the rest of their lives out for public consumption.

Ugh, people asking about newly married couples (or even not) about when they are going to have babies just annoys me But when you air your family on TV plus you are touted as one of those Christian families with oodles of kids, you are rather asking for it.

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OnceModestTwiceShy

I just think it's funny that Kelly is saying that the number of kids that each of her kids will have will depend on things like income and ability to provide, considering how well their parents have embraced the idea of not having more than you can afford. :roll:

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Wine time!
nokidsmom
I just think it's funny that Kelly is saying that the number of kids that each of her kids will have will depend on things like income and ability to provide, considering how well their parents have embraced the idea of not having more than you can afford. :roll:

But, you see, they were able to provide. Never mind it's by grifting and relying on their grown son's income. :roll:

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singsingsing
I just think it's funny that Kelly is saying that the number of kids that each of her kids will have will depend on things like income and ability to provide, considering how well their parents have embraced the idea of not having more than you can afford. :roll:

That's not what she's saying. She's saying her kids shouldn't compare their lives to their siblings lives: that everyone's going to have different incomes, houses, number of children, etc. and you shouldn't be jealous of your siblings but content with what you have. She's not connecting income or ability to provide to family size, just providing them as independent examples.

Edit: Pretzel and I must have hit 'submit' at the exact same moment. Wasn't trying to gang up on you, OnceModest. :)

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Pretzel
I just think it's funny that Kelly is saying that the number of kids that each of her kids will have will depend on things like income and ability to provide, considering how well their parents have embraced the idea of not having more than you can afford. :roll:

She didn't say that, actually.

She said they're preparing their children that their lives won't all look the same. They are preparing them that some will have more income and some less;or that some will have bigger houses than others and that eventually...wait for it....some will have more children, others will have less. There's no causal chain here. She just listed these points as criteria on which her children shouldn't fall back on to compare themselves with their siblings.

Like someone else said, not a bad mindset to begin with. It provides some contrast to the always competing and comparing Duggars. THAT can't be healthy.

I can't stress this often enough: The Bates are fundies and their fundie believes are as poisonous as those of other fundie families. They belong to ATI/IBLP. BUT some of what they do makes them seem human and they make mistakes like everyone of us. Some things make them seem like they at least haven't lost all common sense. And some things on the other hand make them appear to have healthy family dynamics and reasonable ideas/concepts on some life questions.

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OnceModestTwiceShy

Ok ok, you guys are right, I read it too quickly! :)

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singsingsing
Ok ok, you guys are right, I read it too quickly! :)

Hey, I would love to see the Bateses admitting that it might be a good idea to plan your family size based on little trivial things like income and housing!

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Justme

The Munck girl that was married last spring isn't pregnant yet. At least they haven't posted she is. I would think they'd post if they were expecting a grand baby.

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singsingsing

I wanted to comment and ask Laura how Amanda's been doing since she got married, but I think you have to sign in with your google account and I'd rather not do that... Hope everything's going well for her, though.

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veron1que
The Munck girl that was married last spring isn't pregnant yet. At least they haven't posted she is. I would think they'd post if they were expecting a grand baby.

In addition to the possibility that they are either a) waiting or b) having trouble. Its possible she has suffered an early miscarriage. I hate to speculate on such private matters, but I do find myself wondering if its possible, in such an anti-bc culture, that there may be some using it anyway.

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roddma

I don't understand ,either, why people think they have a right to be nosy about personal matter. But I guess it's expected in a pro-natalist world. Some couples are infertile, be childless by chance, or may not want children. Married and remaining childless is not an option in the Duggar/Bates world. I fully expect(pardon the pun) a baby announcement from Zach or Erin around Easter. It would be surprising if nothing happens by July. Hopefully, Erin and Whitney won't constantly be checking prenancy tests like Anna.

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LurkerOverThePond
Hopefully, Erin and Whitney won't constantly be checking prenancy tests like Anna.

According to Kelly, Whitney already is...

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August

In addition to the possibility that they are either a) waiting or b) having trouble. Its possible she has suffered an early miscarriage. I hate to speculate on such private matters, but I do find myself wondering if its possible, in such an anti-bc culture, that there may be some using it anyway.

Or just not able to jump right into a normal sex life after all the shaming ontop of marrying a stranger.

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crazyforkate

We all know that the real grandchild competition is between J'Chelle and Kelly, now that their own shops have closed up. You can expect all baby announcements from now on to be syrupy and passive-aggressive.

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Jana814
We all know that the real grandchild competition is between J'Chelle and Kelly, now that their own shops have closed up. You can expect all baby announcements from now on to be syrupy and passive-aggressive.

Good point!

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Justme

Good point!

Well, with 2 kids married, 1 to be married in a few months, and 1 more courting, against 1 married and 1 "courting", I think Kelly's going to win this "battle" in the near future. :lol:

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singsingsing

Anna's got a head start by three, so it will be interesting to see how long it takes the Bateses to catch up. If Jessa gets married this year and Anna gets pregnant again this year, it might actually be a challenge.

I don't think either Michelle or Kelly resent their kids for having babies when they no longer can. Michelle seems to be taking it much harder than Kelly, but think about it... though I'm sure Michelle loves her children, she never seemed to really enjoy actually being a mother, she just wanted more babies. If she figures out that she can transfer that obsession onto grandbabies she'll be happier than ever, because her quiver will keep growing but she won't have to do any of the work.

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Miggy

It's a pity Michelle couldn't go and work in childcare. Imagine if she had the first 3-4 J'kids, then went to work in a centre with a 0-12 month room. She could have been paid to look after babies. Everytime they started to grow up they would be transferred to other teachers and she would get new babies. It would be a very healthy outlet for someone with a baby obsession.

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uber frau

Except that the attention would have been on the babies, not her. She would have been just another child care worker, not a faithful, long suffering QF mother. Not to mention she's miss out on all the fun of being pregnant.

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singsingsing

Exactly, she needs to be able to claim them as hers... which is why I think it won't be long until she's come to terms with the end of her own fertility and turned her focus on the 'grandduggars', because she can claim them. HER babies are having babies, and they're ALL her grandbabies! See, Michelle doesn't just get knocked down and stay depressed or confused. She finds a way to spin things. Scared of death? Become a fundamentalist Christian. Miscarriage? Give up birth control. Overwhelmed by half a dozen small children? It's okay, because she's special and blessed by God! Menopause? GRANDBABIES!! She can have more grandbabies than she ever could babies, and she doesn't even have to pretend to raise them. She's going to love it.

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Melissa1977
It's a pity Michelle couldn't go and work in childcare. Imagine if she had the first 3-4 J'kids, then went to work in a centre with a 0-12 month room. She could have been paid to look after babies. Everytime they started to grow up they would be transferred to other teachers and she would get new babies. It would be a very healthy outlet for someone with a baby obsession.

She doesn't like babies. She likes being pregnant and being the center of attention. If you like your babies you don't wean them just to ovulate again and get pregnant again. If you like babies you don't give them to your daughters as if they were nannies.

In fact, Michelle was taking the pill during 4 years, so she preferred to work than to be a mom. Then when she had Josh, she took the pill again because she wanted no more babies (o to wait for some years). I think it was the real Michelle: a working mom with one or few kids. But JB brainwashed her and we all know what happened.

Also she doesn't like grandbabies. She was a grandma when she had a baby (Jordyn) and was pregnant again (Josie). "Normal" grandmas enjoy their grandchildren because it has been a lot of time since they had babies, so it's a beautiful experience. But if you are sorrounded by your own toddlers, you have no time and no energy to enjoy grandchildren.

In some way, I understand Michelle. Having 19 children, being always pregnant or nursing, living sorrounded by diapers, dirty clothes, kids noise... every woman would became insane.

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