Zach & Whitney Bates Wedding - Part 2

[Dollypeeps]

Did anyone notice the invite it says Whitney first now to me that's unusual.

I find most of the pics funny and heart warming but some are a bit cringe worthy to.

[anjulibai]

Did anyone notice the invite it says Whitney first now to me that's unusual.

I find most of the pics funny and heart warming but some are a bit cringe worthy to.

It's standard to put the woman's name first on wedding invitations, as it's officially her parents that are hosting.

[lilith]

That message on the bottom of the shoe was so adolescent and over the top. He is utterly infatuated, which in and of itself is no bad thing, but I fear he's put Whitney on such a pedestal that when he realises that she's only human and not the perfect embodiment of his every fantasy he will find it very hard to deal with.

Most of us don't marry in the throes of puppy love, and I'm extremely glad I didn't.

The clinginess and need of that message was scary. He's placed the responsibility for all his future happiness and fulfilment in Whitney's lap, and no human could live up to his expectations.

And the "Baby Boy" thing is just creepy.

[Odd1Out]

Kelly made the following comment which I thought was sweet and indicative of her continuing relationship with her kid AFTER they stop being babies:

Yes, I LOVE my new in-laws!!! I absolutely don’t think I could be any happier. We’ve been on several dates together, had game night together at Erin’s, movie night together at Zach’s, and I had a lunch date and cooking day with Erin and Whit! Soooooo fun!!! The siblings take turns spending time at the couple’s houses. It’s been wonderful. I’m blessed more than words can describe! Love, Kelly

The siblings take turns being at the newlyweds houses. Gil & Kelly really are continuing the chaperoning in their adult, married children's lives aren't they! Give them some space for a while.

[love2scrap]

The siblings take turns being at the newlyweds houses. Gil & Kelly really are continuing the chaperoning in their adult, married children's lives aren't they! Give them some space for a while.

I say let the siblings enjoy time together even when some are married. When my sisters got married my fundie mother wasn't too happy with us going over to spend timme lounging around with them as she said it did not help them to get adjusted to being alone when their husbands were at work. She alsoo insisted we should learn to be a family without the married siblings. This made me terribly sad as i badly missed my sisters.

I say Go Kelly!

[HereticHick]

Although the message on the shoe bottoms is rather adolescent, I do like that its a very SECULAR message.

[formergothardite]

Is that tag hanging from Zach's boots or pants? Was he planning on returning them after the wedding?

blog.thebatesfamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/IMG_6695.jpg

blog.thebatesfamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/IMG_1238.jpg

How in the world do you forget to take off a tag that large? How did no one notice the tag and point out that he needs to remove it?

[scc12]

How in the world do you forget to take off a tag that large? How did no one notice the tag and point out that he needs to remove it?

it's at the bottom of his pants,maybe someone did later.I think he just didn't see it.I bet he was nervous that day as well,and that probably didn't help any.

I wonder if he'd even tried the pants on previously?

[scc12]

The siblings take turns being at the newlyweds houses. Gil & Kelly really are continuing the chaperoning in their adult, married children's lives aren't they! Give them some space for a while.

maybe they want to make sure them wiminfolk are wearing skirts! LOL

I agree,they should give them some time alone;I can see erin not wanting to be alone though.she'd said she didn't want to be when chad was working.

[xReems]

maybe they want to make sure them wiminfolk are wearing skirts! LOL

I agree,they should give them some time alone;I can see erin not wanting to be alone though.she'd said she didn't want to be when chad was working.

This reminds me of one of my sister's best friend who is very dependent on her boyfriend and her family. She cried for weeks when she was at her apartment on college campus because she didn't like being away from her boyfriend and family for so long. She even went on to say that she would not mind living in the same subdivision as her parents after marriage. My mom always teases and says "please don't move so far from me" but at the same time she's told me to never live super close to her and my dad. She thinks that 30 minutes is a good minimum distance. Her reasoning is that you end up depending on one another and it ends up causing friction.

I don't personally see anything wrong with having family over-it just shows that they're very family oriented, however, that's only if Zach and Whit do not mind it at all. But I do agree that they should have some space to just settle in and enjoy as a couple, learn about each other even more, and focus on each other first. That's just my opinion at least but whatever floats their boats.

[singsingsing]

These people are close to their families, why wouldn't they want to see them? Don't forget, Erin and Chad and Zach and Whitney both had lengthy honeymoons, it's not like the whole family tagged along on those. I'd be pretty sad if my family abandoned me after I was married because they thought my husband and I needed to be alone. I didn't get the impression that there were siblings with them 24/7, just that they were visiting... which is normal.

[nokidsmom]

That message on the bottom of the shoe was so adolescent and over the top. He is utterly infatuated, which in and of itself is no bad thing, but I fear he's put Whitney on such a pedestal that when he realises that she's only human and not the perfect embodiment of his every fantasy he will find it very hard to deal with.

Most of us don't marry in the throes of puppy love, and I'm extremely glad I didn't.

The clinginess and need of that message was scary. He's placed the responsibility for all his future happiness and fulfilment in Whitney's lap, and no human could live up to his expectations.

And the "Baby Boy" thing is just creepy.

In Zach's case, he did marry in the throes of puppy love. This idealization of Whit shows that. Even though he's in his mid-20's he is in effect still a teenager when it comes to that first love experience. Had he not been so sheltered, been allowed to date and not imbued with all the crazy fundie ideas of defrauding, six-inche rule, etc. he might have been long past this stage and acquired a more mature view of love and more realistic expectations.

The "baby boy" thing might just be pet name or something but in context of his upbringing, one has got to wonder a bit. The whole "helpmeet" is probably just parroting what he's been taught by his parents. Maybe in a few years it will wear off.

[singsingsing]

To be honest I would much rather see these people marry in the throes of perhaps somewhat immature infatuation, than in a cold, clinical, "Well, God brought me this person and Daddy said I should" way. Hopefully Zach and Whitney have enough in common and enough of a willingness to work through hard times that the puppy love will just gradually shift into a more mature affection and respect.

[nokidsmom]

To be honest I would much rather see these people marry in the throes of perhaps somewhat immature infatuation, than in a cold, clinical, "Well, God brought me this person and Daddy said I should" way. Hopefully Zach and Whitney have enough in common and enough of a willingness to work through hard times that the puppy love will just gradually shift into a more mature affection and respect.

Do agree with this. If that's the choice, then better to have the infatuation than just the "God/Daddy told me to" arrangement. At least there's a mutual liking/attraction that has a chance can develop into something more mature and happiness that's lasting. I don't see the obviously arranged marriages having any kind of lasting happiness outside of initially achieving the goal of getting married and faking it the rest of the way. It's just interesting to note that a 25 year old man is still like a teenager, another example of how fundies hold back their kids.

[scc12]

This reminds me of one of my sister's best friend who is very dependent on her boyfriend and her family. She cried for weeks when she was at her apartment on college campus because she didn't like being away from her boyfriend and family for so long. She even went on to say that she would not mind living in the same subdivision as her parents after marriage. My mom always teases and says "please don't move so far from me" but at the same time she's told me to never live super close to her and my dad. She thinks that 30 minutes is a good minimum distance. Her reasoning is that you end up depending on one another and it ends up causing friction.

I don't personally see anything wrong with having family over-it just shows that they're very family oriented, however, that's only if Zach and Whit do not mind it at all. But I do agree that they should have some space to just settle in and enjoy as a couple, learn about each other even more, and focus on each other first. That's just my opinion at least but whatever floats their boats.

yes and I was just thinking,they may not have TV's,at least not chad and erin,so they may want the company of family around.It would give them more to do,anyway.I think I would feel very isolated (or at least like it was too quiet!) without the background noise of tv when home alone,if I didn't have one.

[singsingsing]

At least Zach is young enough that he still has a lot of time to mature. Unfortunately I know non-religious, professional middle aged people, who act and write like he did. With them, it's almost always because they're making up for something, putting on a show for some reason, they've got something to prove, to themselves, to the other person, to their friends and colleagues, I don't know. With Zach and Whitney it's hopefully just genuinely innocent youth and immaturity.

[scc12]

Do agree with this. If that's the choice, then better to have the infatuation than just the "God/Daddy told me to" arrangement. At least there's a mutual liking/attraction that has a chance can develop into something more mature and happiness that's lasting. I don't see the obviously arranged marriages having any kind of lasting happiness outside of initially achieving the goal of getting married and faking it the rest of the way. It's just interesting to note that a 25 year old man is still like a teenager, another example of how fundies hold back their kids.

hopefully their children are a lasting happiness as well.

[nokidsmom]

At least Zach is young enough that he still has a lot of time to mature. Unfortunately I know non-religious, professional middle aged people, who act and write like he did. With them, it's almost always because they're making up for something, putting on a show for some reason, they've got something to prove, to themselves, to the other person, to their friends and colleagues, I don't know. With Zach and Whitney it's hopefully just genuinely innocent youth and immaturity.

Time is on Zach's side. That and he is no longer under his parent's roof so has some freedom to finally grow a bit. Parental visits notwithstanding, he still has more space and freedom now than before.

But your hear about about even middle-aged people acting more immature. Short story: years ago, I had a coworker take a liking to me, never mind I was married, he was going through a divorce. Guy was very late forties but acted like he was back in high school with what he wrote and stuff he did to get my attention. Oh boy. I knew guys back in actually high school that didn't act anywhere near like he did. And I do think he was trying to prove something, mostly to himself. But it was embarrassing.

[Coconut Flan]

Kelly introduced a fundie or IFB expression I haven't heard before. In the response to a comment on her most recent blog post about Zach and Whitney's wedding she said "Gil presented the charge." Any idea what that means? He introduced the couple? He began the wedding? What?

ETA: Mr. Google presented one other example where someone "presented the charge message to the couple." I'm guessing that equals gave a sermon at the wedding?

[Mela99]

Kelly introduced a fundie or IFB expression I haven't heard before. In the response to a comment on her most recent blog post about Zach and Whitney's wedding she said "Gil presented the charge." Any idea what that means? He introduced the couple? He began the wedding? What?

ETA: Mr. Google presented one other example where someone "presented the charge message to the couple." I'm guessing that equals gave a sermon at the wedding?

Basically. Told them about their duties.

[Cheetah]

Basically. Told them about their duties.

Some churches (even more liberal ones) end services with a charge to "Go out and preach the good news" or that sort of thing.

[Aurora rising]

I dared to ask Kelly yesterday what she would do if one of the kids decides to take the "nonpure" route. My comment is not visible so far. :whistle:

[scc12]

according to the Bates,wouldn't part of their duty be to 'be fruitful and multiply?'

[Mela99]

according to the Bates,wouldn't part of their duty be to 'be fruitful and multiply?'

Y'know, I've never understood that verse. I always thought of a fruit tree, and farms, and how you'll destroy the soil if you grow the same thing over and over for years... and eventually, trees stop bearing fruit.

[uber frau]

We live in the era super phosphate and modern medicine. The fruit trees can go on bearing forever and the brood mares (horse or human) can be cobbled back together into some sort of live state. Most QF families are well and truly reliant on the technology of the current age and are far less based on the realities of life in ancient times than they would like to consider.