I listened so you don't have to: Teri Maxwell

[VodouDoll]

She didn't get medical treatment for her depression. She says she cured it by meeting once with a pastor's wife, taking vitamins, filling a notebook with exhaustive lists of her sins, and pretending to not be depressed so nobody else would know how she really felt inside. And, of course, the almighty schedule. She says that without it she would've just sobbed her eyes out all day.

www.titus2.com/corners/moms-corner/a-journey-through-depression.html

[twin2]

All right, everybody out of the gutter! "Time with The Lord" in this case refers to Steve and Teri praying together at the beginning and end of the day. They put up a "double Corner" on this subject a few years ago. Talk about chloroform in print.......

They would both be a lot less fucked up if they actually did schedule some shag time, but that would cause F*N.

Have to admit, its very Dougie-esq, goes either way....

Wonder how the Maxwell's actually refer to sex

[Violet]

She didn't get medical treatment for her depression. She says she cured it by meeting once with a pastor's wife, taking vitamins, filling a notebook with exhaustive lists of her sins, and pretending to not be depressed so nobody else would know how she really felt inside. And, of course, the almighty schedule. She says that without it she would've just sobbed her eyes out all day.

http://www.titus2.com/corners/moms-corn ... ssion.html

That is heartbreaking! While scheduling is good (my brother is currently dealing with anxiety & depression and his gf has made him timetables to help him get through his workload, which has really helped) it doesn't solve the problem. Steve should have encouraged her to get medical help, even just seeing a qualified counsellor (bro is doing this, is helping him work through why it happens and how he can deal with it) would have helped her massively. (My 'rents are psychiatric nurses so we've talked a lot about dealing with anxiety and depression, I'm not an expert by any stretch though!)

I wonder if things would have been different for the Maxwells if she'd got the help she needed.

[Jana814]

She didn't get medical treatment for her depression. She says she cured it by meeting once with a pastor's wife, taking vitamins, filling a notebook with exhaustive lists of her sins, and pretending to not be depressed so nobody else would know how she really felt inside. And, of course, the almighty schedule. She says that without it she would've just sobbed her eyes out all day.

www.titus2.com/corners/moms-corner/a-jo ... ssion.html

That's insane. Who's idea was it for her to do that Steve!!

[Justme]

Steve's Mother has Alzheimer's and I'm pretty sure Teri mentioned that her Dad has it as well. I'm not an expert on the subject, but I would think the chances of a Maxwell child getting it would be higher in their later years.

Now what if both Steve and Teri come down with it???? Maybe Stevie has ESP and that is why he isn't letting his daughters marry..... :evil-eye:

[Jana814]

Steve's Mother has Alzheimer's and I'm pretty sure Teri mentioned that her Dad has it as well. I'm not an expert on the subject, but I would think the chances of a Maxwell child getting it would be higher in their later years.

I think u r right I think the odds of them getting r pretty high.

[SPHASH]

That's insane. Who's idea was it for her to do that Steve!!

After reading that article I'm surprised she didn't commit suicide. Talking to your pastor about your depression is fine, I have in the past but it's not a good substitute for a shrink. Pastors will counsel people who are depressed, but after three sessions if the person is not better they will refer them to a shrink.

[SPHASH]

Steve's Mother has Alzheimer's and I'm pretty sure Teri mentioned that her Dad has it as well. I'm not an expert on the subject, but I would think the chances of a Maxwell child getting it would be higher in their later years.

Now what if both Steve and Teri come down with it???? Maybe Stevie has ESP and that is why he isn't letting his daughters marry..... :evil-eye:

A friend of my moms had Alzheimers and it ran in her family as both her mother and grandmother died from it.

[thoughtful]

I finally made myself read this thread -- I knew it would be depressing (well, the parts about Maxhell are depressing -- the reactions of FJers, as usual, are heartening).

Danvillebelle, thanks for doing this.

Besides everything else already mentioned, this really ripped at my heart and made me burn:

She recalls that during some of the darkest days of her depression, Steve would look at her and say “Teri, no matter how hard I try, I can never please you.â€

:pink-shock:

There's no way you can convince me that was said sympathetically -- that fucker was giving her guilt! She was already depressed, overworked, walking on eggshells and in pain, maybe suicidal, and that fuckshit was making her feel worse because she couldn't satisfy his need to feel like Mr. Fix-it?!

Son of a bitch.

:angry-banghead:

[YPestis]

I always suspect that Teri appreciates the strict scheduling and Steve's domineering ways because of her depression. People with severe depression can struggle with day to day tasks. Having a schedule and someone to tell her what to do makes it easier to get through the day.

Teri and Steve met in a "christian college" so I believe both grew up moderately religious. However, Steve says both were "born again" after meeting/marrying, which I take to mean they became uber-religious. They were big on sending their kids to a private Christian school until they discovered homeschooling. It was during this time, after Teri's third child and attempting to homeschool that Teri was combating severe depression. She became so despondent that she wanted to quit homeschooling. However, Steve suggested setting each child to school work during the day and then he could homeschool them after work. Someone, he thought this was preferable to sending them back to a private Christian school. I think it was around this point that Steve became the controlling, meglomanic patriarch. Once he realized he could have his kids at home, he didn't want to let them go back to school, no matter what. With Teri's depression, she probably easily agreed to giving up control of everything to him. As the years wore on, Steve probably fell deeper into patriarchy because it satisfied his need to control and isolate. I don't think Steve could have gotten this far without Teri's assistance. Had Teri not had depression, she probably wouldn't give up so much of the decision making process to Steve. She could have been his voice of reason. Instead, with no one to check him, Steve just jumped down the rabbit hole.

I won't speculate on what caused Steve to go down the fundie route. It could be the war, his parents' divorce, maybe he was upset about work. The fact is, religion can be great solace for those struggling but for some, it gets twisted into something horrible. I think when Steve sought peace in the Bible, he turned it into an excuse to control his family. Teri's depression made it easy for her to go along with it. In the end, it will be the children that suffers.

[RachelB]

Have to admit, its very Dougie-esq, goes either way....

Wonder how the Maxwell's actually refer to sex

Well, I bet they're not using Legos as a metaphor, since toys are too worldly and FUN for Steve.

[lilith]

Well, I bet they're not using Legos as a metaphor, since toys are too worldly and FUN for Steve.

I wonder how they deal with the blatantly sexual parts of the bible in Family Bible time. Did they just skip them when they had a house full of horny adolescent boys who weren't even allowed the privacy to masturbate?

[uber frau]

They read the KJV. Any sexy bits are so disguised by Ye Olde English that I doubt any of the boys know what's going on. If you're familiar with the text (the modern version) or familiar with the language, it's pretty hard to miss the MA15+ verses. As much as the Maxwell's read their bibles, I don't think they are actually familiar with either.

[latraviata]

They read the KJV. Any sexy bits are so disguised by Ye Olde English that I doubt any of the boys know what's going on. If you're familiar with the text (the modern version) or familiar with the language, it's pretty hard to miss the MA15+ verses. As much as the Maxwell's read their bibles, I don't think they are actually familiar with either.

The Song of Songs leaves nothing to the imagination.

[jlbturtle]

His mom has Alzheimers, her Dad has Parkinson's, so it only runs on one side of the family.

[sparkles]

Well, I bet they're not using Legos as a metaphor, since toys are too worldly and FUN for Steve.

They did actually have Legos when the kids were younger, because they were toys with a PURPOSE. They've probably been passed down at this point (they mentioned having a Lego table too) so I seriously doubt the Lego Legacy has been sullied by doing double duty as a metaphor for s*x. The kids probably get The Talk only when they're about to get married. Didn't an FJer say that on one of the older Maxwell boards (the Moms board?) Teri said that topics concerning marital relations (sexual and otherwise) were verboten to protect the maidenly virtue of Sarah, since she helped moderate the board?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Sarah is 31 and does not know how babies are made? :( That is awful. I wonder what she thinks happens, surely to some degree knowing how to have sex is instinctual-nobody has to teach a cat/dog/kangaroo/elephant/giraffe how to have sex. Surely she knows that men have penises (wouldn't she have helped change her little brother's diapers, or helped to give him a bath?), and that she doesn't have one?

[Trynn]

Knowing that little brother has a penis and you don't doesnt necessarily lead to knowing about sex.

I imagine Sarah has figured it out by now. Also, Sarah wasn't always as sheltered as she is now. It's possible she came across the knowledge when the family wasn't as fundy.

[twin2]

The Song of Songs leaves nothing to the imagination.

Steve probably took a sharpie to that part of the bible.

Anyone feel purposed to leave some comments on the blog with some biblical quotes from Song of Songs? Surely Steve-O wouldn't censor the word of god?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Knowing that little brother has a penis and you don't doesnt necessarily lead to knowing about sex.

I imagine Sarah has figured it out by now. Also, Sarah wasn't always as sheltered as she is now. It's possible she came across the knowledge when the family wasn't as fundy.

I guess it could at least be a clue-she knows that only a man and a woman can make a baby, and I guess it might occur to her that the differences between men and women might be the reason why.

Although maybe I am giving fundies too much credit. Young fundies probably only think it takes a man and a woman to have a baby because God doesn't like gay people, and that babies happen when an angel appears to the woman and tells her that she is going to have a baby, like what happened to Mary in the Bible.

[Justme]

Steve could just tell them that certain places in the bible are for married people only. :roll: If he tells them they are not allowed to read these areas until they are married, then they most likely won't.

[Jana814]

Does anyone know when they became more religious. I wonder if Nathan or Christopher questioned what they were doing.

[Hane]

I'm sure the kids do know about sex. After all, Steve has trumpeted the story of his vasectomy reversal far and wide, and the five youngest kids are known in he family as "the reversals."

[thoughtful]

Does anyone know when they became more religious. I wonder if Nathan or Christopher questioned what they were doing.

That's a good question. At this point, Christopher (who talked more about death at his own wedding than his father did :shock: ) is as bad as Steve, but I wonder what they thought before all of the guilt-mongering "give up sports, friends and the musical instrument you actually enjoy or Daddy will weep" shit took effect.

Here's the wedding video, if you want to spend an hour hearing about death and pitying those who have to stand and smile during the whole thing.

http://www.veoh.com/watch/v20537373bNjtddZ8

Christopher's morbid little speech is near the end.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

That's a good question. At this point, Christopher (who talked more about death at his own wedding than his father did :shock: ) is as bad as Steve, but I wonder what they thought before all of the guilt-mongering "give up sports, friends and the musical instrument you actually enjoy or Daddy will weep" shit took effect.

Here's the wedding video, if you want to spend an Iour hearing about death and pitying those who have to stand and smile during the whole thing.

http://www.veoh.com/watch/v20537373bNjtddZ8

Christopher's morbid little speech is near the end.

I've never seen that before! Thanks. What a boring ceremony. I would have passed out standing up there do long.