The Life Of Grandma Duggar

[ljohnson2006]

Do you think Grandma really enjoys doing laundry and being a live in baby sitter for Boob and Mullet? I think she should be allowed to move out, and live her own life. I understand her living there when Grandpa was sick, but why is she still there? She should be able to say that she wants to move out. She can move somewhere close by. Grandma has been reduced to the life of J'Slave, and it's sad. I wonder what DeAnna and Famy think about how Grandma lives. Why didn't they offer to take her in?

[Jana814]

Do you think Grandma really enjoys doing laundry and being a live in baby sitter for Boob and Mullet? I think she should be allowed to move out, and live her own life. I understand her living there when Grandpa was sick, but why is she still there? She should be able to say that she wants to move out. She can move somewhere close by. Grandma has been reduced to the life of J'Slave, and it's sad. I wonder what DeAnna and Famy think about how Grandma lives. Why didn't they offer to take her in?

Agree!!! I too don't get why DeAnna doesn't say anything.

[ljohnson2006]

I think DeAnna is afraid of Boob. He seems to rule the family. Which is sad, because he's just an uneducated moron. Great role model for the family. Smugger is no better.

[thekate]

I see three possibilities:

1. Grandma Duggar has drunk the Gothard kool-aid.

2. Grandma Duggar sees a need and is in a position to help her younger grandchildren, whether through making sure they have clean clothes, a childhood (Joy), or a responsible adult somewhere in their lives.

3. JB is holding her hostage.

Pretty sure we can discount #3, so I'm going with she wants to be there. It doesn't mean it would be her first choice of living situation, but it outweighs the bad in her mind. Grandma Duggar seems close with Amy, so I don't think it's like they're being kept apart without any consideration for Deanna. I think we just don't see it on the TV show.

My personal speculation is #2 is closest. Those kids need her the most out of the Duggar clan.

[singsingsing]

That's kind of ridiculous, actually. The woman is an adult. She's not an idiot. She spent years working and raising children, and she owns property. She's not trapped and she's not a slave, and she wasn't raised and brainwashed in this system. She's fully capable of making her own choices, and obviously this is what she's chosen. I'm sure she loves her family, and maybe she doesn't want to live alone. Maybe she loves being surrounded by her grandchildren and feeling good that she can help them with the chores. Give her some credit.

[lilwriter85]

I think DeAnna is afraid of Boob. He seems to rule the family. Which is sad, because he's just an uneducated moron. Great role model for the family. Smugger is no better.

I have to agree with this. My theory is that after Boob's dad died, Boob found ways to rule over his family and also over his mother and sister. I also think Boob seems to be the favorite child of Mary's. Mary and the late Jimmy Lee sent Boob to a private Christian high school and DeAnna went to a public school.

[boxedin]

I have to agree with this. My theory is that after Boob's dad died, Boob found ways to rule over his family and also over his mother and sister. I also think Boob seems to be the favorite child of Mary's. Mary and the late Jimmy Lee sent Boob to a private Christian high school and DeAnna went to a public school.

Lucky DeAnna. Now I understand why she seems to live a "normal" life.

[lascuba]

Count me in among those who think she wants to be there. I doubt she's drunk the Kool-aid, but it's her son and grandchildren and unless she was being mistreated she's probably perfectly content. The worst I'd assume is that she chooses to stay because Michelle and Boob are as fucked up as the most hyperbolic FJ posts suggests and she wants to be there for the kids.

Maybe it's growing up in a working class immigrant family, but grandparents living with their adult children and helping out with the child rearing and household chores doesn't seem at all remarkable to me.

[Scribber]

I'm of the camp that she is there by choice.

After my Grandfather died, my Grandma moved in with my family. She was tickled to be there and taking care of us. (She often said late in life that it was the best choice she made.) She was of the generation that she dedicated her life to taking care of her family and took great pride in it.

As said numerous times, we only see five minutes of her life here and there.

[Ellimenopy]

Count me in among those who think she wants to be there. I doubt she's drunk the Kool-aid, but it's her son and grandchildren and unless she was being mistreated she's probably perfectly content. The worst I'd assume is that she chooses to stay because Michelle and Boob are as fucked up as the most hyperbolic FJ posts suggests and she wants to be there for the kids.

Maybe it's growing up in a working class immigrant family, but grandparents living with their adult children and helping out with the child rearing and household chores doesn't seem at all remarkable to me.

Some times, older adults that seem to be in perfectly good health and independent actually aren't. We live with my father-in-law in *his* house, he even goes to work every day with my husband in his own vehicle, so it may seem at first glance that we're the ones benefiting the most from our relationship. But really, my husband does all the "work" at work (deddy just goes to gossip at the cafe every day), I manage his diabetes at home, change his sheets, keep his medicine straight. My husband literally wipes his ass when he gets sick and does all the house repairs. Even though he seems independent from the outside, because he still can drive and still has his own bank account, he really couldn't live by himself. I don't think it's quite as a dependent a relationship for Grandma Duggar, but perhaps she can't or doesn't want to live on her own anymore either. I don't think she's totally on board with ATI, but she gets enough from the interaction with her family to make it worth her while.

[Cleopatra7]

Count me in among those who think she wants to be there. I doubt she's drunk the Kool-aid, but it's her son and grandchildren and unless she was being mistreated she's probably perfectly content. The worst I'd assume is that she chooses to stay because Michelle and Boob are as fucked up as the most hyperbolic FJ posts suggests and she wants to be there for the kids.

Maybe it's growing up in a working class immigrant family, but grandparents living with their adult children and helping out with the child rearing and household chores doesn't seem at all remarkable to me.

In any other situation, I would agree that there is nothing wrong with a multi-generational household. But since we're talking about the Duggars, I think that this particular sitatuation is unhealthy. The Duggar household has twenty-two people on a day to day basis, and more if Smuggar or some other family is visiting. Grandma isn't doing light housework or baby-sitting a few hours a week; she's putting in some hard labor and it doesn't seem like she gets much respect in return. I think Grandma lives in the TTH voluntarily, but I also think JB guilted her into it to a large degree.

[Rescinded and Mended]

In any other situation, I would agree that there is nothing wrong with a multi-generational household. But since we're talking about the Duggars, I think that this particular sitatuation is unhealthy. The Duggar household has twenty-two people on a day to day basis, and more if Smuggar or some other family is visiting. Grandma isn't doing light housework or baby-sitting a few hours a week; she's putting in some hard labor and it doesn't seem like she gets much respect in return. I think Grandma lives in the TTH voluntarily, but I also think JB guilted her into it to a large degree.

QFT to the bolded.

Personally, I'm a bit in both camps. I think Mary enjoys having the chance to interact with her grandchildren on a daily basis and watch them grow up. But on the other hand, from what we've seen of Jim Bob in the past, I do think there's a strong possiblity he gave her a lot of noise about a single woman living on her own, no longer under the umbrella of grandpa's protection, and oh, wouldn't it be nice if you moved in so you could see the kids more often and maybe help out a little bit? Then after she moved in, he started heaping on more chores and insisting she wear pants, all under the guise of "Godly, womanly duties". Wouldn't surprise me at all if he tried to manipulate her with a guilt trip.

Mary probably understands completely the depths to which her scumbag of a son will sink, but stays in the house so she can inject a healthy dose of loving parental adffection into the younger Duggarlings. If it was only JB and Michelle she had to deal with, she'd likely stay away.

[Justme]

I think Gma is a very smart woman. She probably doesn't want to live alone. She also probably wants to keep an eye on the young ones. I don't believe for one minute she is not able to leave whenever she wants.

[pega127]

I believe Mary lives with the Duggars by choice for the following reasons:

1. She loves her family

2. As an aging parent; she appreciates family around to help her (we don't know her actual health status), as well as the feeling of being needed to help family

3. She has a brain and I get the feeling she is involved outside the Duggar home socially and maybe as a volunteer with her church or other organization.

4.Deanna may not have an extra room for Mary and that is why she lives with the Duggars.

5. As far as JimBob being her fav. due to sending him to a Christian school and Deanna to a public school; many teens insist on going to a public school when given the choice! Deanna may have simply wanted to be with her friends at the local h.s.

[gustava]

How old is Mary Duggar?

[fullmetalheart]

There's also #4: She knows J'Chelle isn't all there, and she's protecting the kids. She dearly loves those kids and is there to help and protect them. She knows J'Chelle is close to a breakdown, and wants to be there for them.

[Dandruff]

I think she's there by choice due to some combination of:

- being lonely without Grandpa or she never lived alone and doesn't want to

- she enjoys being around the grandkids more than she enjoys not being around them

- she may not like dealing with fans

- possible tax advantages (if they care) to her living with them

- they can rent out or sell the house she would have been living in

- she may get some income from being on the show

I can see the situation not being ideal in a bunch of ways (e.g., she probably didn't plan on running a laundromat during her golden years), but still believe it was her decision to be there.

[SPHASH]

As far as her drinking the ATI koolaid, she does wear skirts all the time.

[Miggy]

As far as her drinking the ATI koolaid, she does wear skirts all the time.

I have fundy in-laws and, when in their house, I follow all their rules: long skirts, high neck line, I don't give their kids unapproved toys, etc. I might not agree with their beliefs but within their home I will respect them. (I get very frustrated that they won't do the same in mine but that's another story.) I always assumed Mary's change to always wearing skirts was simply that she wasn't going to undermine JB&M in their own house.

[miffy]

How old is Mary Duggar?

Mid 70s.

[lascuba]

Could be the skirts are for tv/public appearances. Maybe she wants to avoid questions and speculation about why she wears pants. I mean, Boob's an ass and Michelle is nuts, but do they really think a woman her age in pants would be defrauding anyone? I can't imagine them making it an issue with her day to day.

Or maybe she did get into ATI, or even just became more religious after the death of her husband. I know a few elderly widows who got into church--usually some kind of evangelical one like Pentecostal--and only wear skirts after their husband died.

[amster]

Lucky DeAnna. Now I understand why she seems to live a "normal" life.

I find that kind of offensive. Are you saying that people who went to a private Christian high school are all like JimBob? That they can't live a normal life? I went to a private Christian school my entire schooling and turned out just fine thanks.

[Jana814]

I always assumed Mary's change to always wearing skirts was simply that she wasn't going to undermine JB&M in their own house.

I agree w/ u.

[lilith]

Mid 70s.

She seems very fit and active, but she may simply not want to set up a home when it's unlikely she'd be able to live independently for more than ten years or so anyway. It may just seem easier to stay at the Duggars.

[Trynn]

As far as the skirts go, she may just be picking her battles very carefully. It might not make much difference to her about this issue, for example, and she knows it's just going to cause a fuss. So she wears skirts and saves her energy for the real battles like... I don't know. We only see glimpses of her life, so I don't know what that might entail, but I feel like she wears mostly skirts because she's saving her energy for battles that actually matter (to her, I mean. To me, this would be a battle worth fighting.)