Hope for the Shupes?

[Queen Of Hearts]

'Large Families on Purpose' is one of my favorite fundy blogs. While Erika is batshit crazy and super controlling, I do think she is gifted when it comes to organizing and love to read her posts on the subject.

 

Today I noticed she posted new pictures of the kids. What struck me is that most of the girls were in sleeveless tops and the oldest daughter's was especially noticeable. These tops were all quite appropriate but hardly something you see on most fundy kids! This aught my attention because Erika has written time and time again about how important modesty is (while hypocritically posting pictures of her boys naked on the toilet while potty training). She even posted pictures of the girl's burka-style bathing suits in the past! So why the sudden change to non-modest tops? Is she letting the kids pick their own style? Could there be hope for the Shupes in moving a little less strict fundy and more moderate in some of their dress and actions?

[browngrl]

I don't know if mama Shupe has really changed. I just read her latest post and it sounds like she is as controlling as ever and still infuriating with all the *nudge* *smile* *wink* business.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Oh no, this means they are out of a chance of marrying Maxwell grandchildren. Steve would never let any of his kids or grandkids marry someone who has shown their shoulder.

Seriously though, the Shupes are so controlling, they are one of the only families who I can ever see being good enough for the Maxwells.

I can see a courtship in the future, maybe between one of their youngest boys and one of the Maxwell granddaughters.

[buttercup]

I hate-read Erika's OCD-ness fairly often and I'd guess that the relaxation of dress codes has more to do with her own recent weight loss. Since Mama feels pretty and doesn't wear shapeless sacks anymore, her daughters don't have to either. You know, like her fifteen year old, who apparently has been "dieting" with Erika since the age of thirteen. That's not a criticism of the child, just that her parents would allow/encourage a growing teenager to diet like her mother, a self proclaimed sugar addict.

(please note: I do NOT think that women who weigh what Erika did previously or more should dress or act a certain way. I just think any update in dress codes is from a selfish, shallow place for her. Because, let's be real, the Shupe household does what Erika wants when Erika wants it.)

[Koala]

I hate-read Erika's OCD-ness fairly often and I'd guess that the relaxation of dress codes has more to do with her own recent weight loss. Since Mama feels pretty and doesn't wear shapeless sacks anymore, her daughters don't have to either. You know, like her fifteen year old, who apparently has been "dieting" with Erika since the age of thirteen. That's not a criticism of the child, just that her parents would allow/encourage a growing teenager to diet like her mother, a self proclaimed sugar addict.

(please note: I do NOT think that women who weigh what Erika did previously or more should dress or act a certain way. I just think any update in dress codes is from a selfish, shallow place for her. Because, let's be real, the Shupe household does what Erika wants when Erika wants it.)

+1. Everything in that house is about Erica, for Erica, and controlled by Erica.

[BalconySmoker]

It's alllllll about Erika over at the Shupe house. I love how it's totally okay for HER to have short hair, because it's in a "feminine" cut. She does whatever she wants, then thinks up a justification for it later. :lol:

[Melissa1977]

No hope for them. These children are living in the army.

Erika is one of the coldest fundie mothers. She is an organizer, not a mother. Blanket training and "let them cry" is the rule at that house.

About clothes, these girls were wearing make up when they were twelve or thirteen. I think it's just because their mother likes it.

[ThatSnark]

I have a fixation on the Shupes, too. She has a lot of good information, but you have to pick through some horrible stuff to get at it.

My uninformed take on the wardrobe relaxation: the eldest daughter will be 16 soon, which means it's almost time to start thinking about becoming a helpmeet. Now's the time to attract the intention of a fundie young man; this would give that young man a few years to answer the necessary questionnaires or whatever Madame Shupe requires of a young man to court her daughter. I think this daughter is really young for that, but it's the only thing I can think of that would release them from the frumpers. I would hope the weight loss makes Erika feel more relaxed about clothes, but she's always had a chokehold on the way the daughters dress-- the only thing I can come up with is attracting potential suitors.

[Iokaste]

What I'd really like to know is what's up with the oldest son? He is supposedly 10 but looks 7 and is clearly smaller than his 2-years younger sister. I know kids grow at different times and there is no "law" that the older must always be taller and bigger, but I find it odd that Erica who really has a habit of over-sharing, she has the floor-plan of her house online and pictures of her kids getting potty-trained for pete's sake, but as far as I know she's never mentioned anything about this, do we know anything?

About the pictures I think Erica is just really in to showing off: look at my perfectly organized house/homeschooling, look at me having perfctly controlled children, look at my website beeing ranked 936,143rd world wide, look at me having pretty daughters!

[ILoveJellybeans]

I wondered that, the oldest boy is really tiny for his age.

[DomWackTroll]

No hope for them. These children are living in the army.

Erika is one of the coldest fundie mothers. She is an organizer, not a mother. Blanket training and "let them cry" is the rule at that house.

About clothes, these girls were wearing make up when they were twelve or thirteen. I think it's just because their mother likes it.

She really is. Even battle-axes like Kelly Crawford and Jennie Chancey cuddle their kids, but everything at the Shupe home seems so cold and antiseptic. Erika has ice water running through her veins.

[Luisainlondon1]

I didn't know about that family… but wow! :pink-shock: Why would I take pictures of every little room and every tiny pantry in my house and show them to the world? Of course Erika wants to hear how organized she is and how clean she can keep her house. Fair enough, I am not impressed though.

What shocks me is how crammed the children's bedrooms are. There's hardly enough space to put one bed in one of the rooms, but two bunk beds? Five girls in such a tiny room, poor girls!

[ILoveJellybeans]

I know, the rooms look so cramped and impersonal. You cant even tell what ages of kids sleep there or anything about their personality. In one of the rooms, there is a bunk bed in front of the window. I wonder what she will do if she has another kid or two, there will be no space for them to sleep unless she gets triple bunk beds or kid shelves.

[Cheetah]

I know, the rooms look so cramped and impersonal. You cant even tell what ages of kids sleep there or anything about their personality. In one of the rooms, there is a bunk bed in front of the window. I wonder what she will do if she has another kid or two, there will be no space for them to sleep unless she gets triple bunk beds or kid shelves.

I've read so many new (to me) fundie blogs lately I'm getting them mixed up, but I think Erika was the one who said that her kids don't need any free time or alone time so why not have them crammed in like that (or is she the one who has a system for naptime that does involve 2 kids in her bedroom, one in a closet, etc )?

In any case... a friend of mine is having a wonderful adventure this year. She and her husband and 3 kids are traveling around the world having all sorts of cool adventures. The kids are 7th grade twin boys and a 4th grade girl. Anyway, they are enjoying everything except the one complaint they all have is too much together time. Or the flip side, not enough alone time. I suppose a fundie would argue that if your kids never get alone time in the first place they wouldn't miss it... but the idea of being around so many people (or even just a few people) all of the time sounds really unappealing.

Anyway. Digression from Erika, sorry. I agree with the assessment that she is cold. Just very very controlling.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Yeah, that sounds like Erika. Her babies do sleep in a closet, and she separates them all for nap time.

Her schedule is also as bad as the Maxwells. The oldest daughters get hardly any teaching by their parents, and they all have no free time at all, theres little space for play in the schedule.

[tkr322]

Her blog annoys me more than any other fundy blog. I cannot handle all the *winks* and *smiles* crap.

One thing no one mentioned yet, why are her 4 and 3 year old still treated like babies? They're strapped in high chairs and she always has those kid leashes on them when they're out and about. Also she puts them in those baby gate circle things with some puzzles. I cannot imagine treating my 4 year old that way.

[OkToBeTakei]

Her blog annoys me more than any other fundy blog. I cannot handle all the *winks* and *smiles* crap.

One thing no one mentioned yet, why are her 4 and 3 year old still treated like babies? They're strapped in high chairs and she always has those kid leashes on them when they're out and about. Also she puts them in those baby gate circle things with some puzzles. I cannot imagine treating my 4 year old that way.

That would be err control.

It's horrible. She keeps them strapped in prams. Check out a post she wrote about a camping trip. It's like prison for kids.

Erica *smile* is all about the *smile* Control *control* *CONTROL*

[ILoveJellybeans]

Wait...she has a playpen thing and a high chair for a four year old? Isnt he old enough to sit at the table by himself, and old enough to sit at the floor and do puzzles unsupervised and know not to destroy the place.

[tkr322]

Oh and the fact that they just have a dinky little Christmas tree bothers me.

And she'll never let the older daughter leave just yet. She's still got a bunch of littles at home that she needs her raise first.

Judging by the pictures her husband seems like a complete doofus.

[tkr322]

Wait...she has a playpen thing and a high chair for a four year old? Isnt he old enough to sit at the table by himself, and old enough to sit at the floor and do puzzles unsupervised and know not to destroy the place.

Yes. Notice there are always the youngest 4 in the highchairs. They are 4, 3, 3, 3 years old. Granted I think the youngest 2 just turned 3 but still, at least the oldest one should NOT be in a highchair, if not the other 3, as well.

And in the recent slideshow there is a pic of the 4 year old in the baby play pen with puzzles.

[ThatSnark]

Yes. Notice there are always the youngest 4 in the highchairs. They are 4, 3, 3, 3 years old. Granted I think the youngest 2 just turned 3 but still, at least the oldest one should NOT be in a highchair, if not the other 3, as well.

And in the recent slideshow there is a pic of the 4 year old in the baby play pen with puzzles.

I think it's her way of handling the unpleasant fact that she has too many preschoolers. It's easy enough to keep a six-month-old strapped into a contraption and happy, but her children are now inconveniently active, so she has to double down on the physical control so that she can stick to the schedule. We're in winter now, and she can't just turn them out into the fenced backyard as she did in summer-- therefore, cage 'em up until it thaws out there.

No way on God's green earth would she do it, but the littlest ones would do well to go to a morning preschool program (many churches have them!) to get socialization, free play, and fun while she works that schedule. Too bad it will never happen for them.

[tkr322]

I think it's her way of handling the unpleasant fact that she has too many preschoolers. It's easy enough to keep a six-month-old strapped into a contraption and happy, but her children are now inconveniently active, so she has to double down on the physical control so that she can stick to the schedule. We're in winter now, and she can't just turn them out into the fenced backyard as she did in summer-- therefore, cage 'em up until it thaws out there.

No way on God's green earth would she do it, but the littlest ones would do well to go to a morning preschool program (many churches have them!) to get socialization, free play, and fun while she works that schedule. Too bad it will never happen for them.

I noticed all their pictures of church events have normal looking people in normal looking clothes/hair styles. So I'm guessing they don't go to a fundie church? Also I know she's not from a fundie background as her extended family looks/seems normal, too. I know she mentioned there was a falling out with her husband's family but I don't think she elaborated much. I'd love to know the back story there!

[denimjumper]

I think the back story is completely obvious: they think she's a whackadoodle.

[Luisainlondon1]

I feel sorry especially for the two oldest daughters. According to their schedule they have a half hour of free time each day - at most! The girls get about 3 or 3.5 hours of "education", the rest of the time they are busy with things like cleaning up, folding laundry, dusting or whatever. I bet they are going to be perfect helpmeets.

[teachergirl]

They are IFB, like Courtney from Sweet Tea and Buttermilk. I thought she is skirts only.....