Alyssa Bates and John Webster are courting

[alysee]

Jessa really failed; too young, brings nothing to the table, not good looking. I'm hoping she sees the light and calls off the courtship!

For me, it's not about how cute or young he is. What bothers me is there is a huge difference in the demeanour of Erin and Chad who were all over each other and Jessa and Ben. She doesn't look into him at all. I think she's trying to be because she probably wants away from the chaos, but she deserves to find someone she defines as attractive.

[1004srs]

I don't think she's allowed to call this off. Poor woman...

[formergothardite]

Usually, a man who cheats or abuse in a marriage has done it in their single life. The woman or man make excuse for the person on why they act the way they do, when it is actually are warning signs that they person has an abuse issue or a cheating issue. They spent time together prior to their annoucement, a person can hide who they really are for so long....unless the person involves over looks the signs shown. :)

The problem with courtship is that these women are never going to get to know the men before marriage. They will almost never get to see the real person because they will never be alone with the person. They will always be in a group or chaperoned. Courtship deprives them of the opportunity to see the signs and decide if they want to continue the relationship.

[uber frau]

They've also had most of the instincts that tell them something is off beaten or trained out of them.

I've been out of fundiedom for nearly ten years and I'm only just beginning to develop a creep-o-meter. Speaking to others who share a similar background, it seems pretty common.

[formergothardite]

They've also had most of the instincts that tell them something is off beaten or trained out of them.

I've been out of fundiedom for nearly ten years and I'm only just beginning to develop a creep-o-meter. Speaking to others who share a similar background, it seems pretty common.

A courtship doesn't start unless the almighty father approves the guy first. And if you have been trained to always defer to your father and trust his instincts if a woman picks up any bad signs that the father doesn't it is going to be very hard to trust her gut and go against what her father is saying.

[erastus25]

Jessa really failed; too young, brings nothing to the table, not good looking. I'm hoping she sees the light and calls off the courtship!

Um...can we leave out "not good looking" as a reason to cancel a courtship? Pretty sure everyone here would be up in arms if a man was being encouraged to cancel a courtship in part b/c the young lady wasn't hot enough for him.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Yeah, the only person who should be able to say that he isn't good looking enough to court Jessa, is Jessa herself. She might find him hot.

[carold]

I agree with how Jessa looks around Ben is the most concern aspect. I think the Duggars still have the mentality that courtship is the time to "get to know" and prior to courtship they don't have any type of relationship (friendship or romantic) before hand. Kelly Bates has openly admitted on their blog that after the Zach/Sarah ordeal they want their kids to become "best friends" prior to entering a courtship. I think that this core friendship between chad/erin and alyssa/ john share and what makes them look comfortable with each other. They honestly Love each other and want to enter courtship/ marriage with them. I don't know if Jessa and Ben had this friendship before hand...hence the demeanour.

[Luisainlondon1]

I agree with how Jessa looks around Ben is the most concern aspect. I think the Duggars still have the mentality that courtship is the time to "get to know" and prior to courtship they don't have any type of relationship (friendship or romantic) before hand. Kelly Bates has openly admitted on their blog that after the Zach/Sarah ordeal they want their kids to become "best friends" prior to entering a courtship. I think that this core friendship between chad/erin and alyssa/ john share and what makes them look comfortable with each other. They honestly Love each other and want to enter courtship/ marriage with them. I don't know if Jessa and Ben had this friendship before hand...hence the demeanour.

I can imagine the pressure the girls (and also the boys) must feel once they are in a courtship. That's why I like Kelly's interpretation of courtship (not really LIKE… ;) but you know what I mean).

Get to know someone a little better and when you still like him/her you can begin a courtship. Since courtships seems to be such a big deal in Fundieworld it must be awful to end a courtship just because of little things you could have found out pretty soon after meeting a person. So I hope Jessa had had the chance to get to know her 'boyfriend' a little better before the courtship started just the way Alyssa did.

[fullmetalheart]

It kind of reminds me of awkward teenage dating photos, without having their hands all over each other. So, it doesn't seem that "bad" to me, just "two people who don't really know each other".

[FrancineFishpaw]

I will be shocked if the Jessa/Ben thing comes to fruition. John Webster isn't that good looking. Just watching an old epi where they went to surprise the Bates w/the remodel. Alyssa has really come a long way. Very pretty girl!

[NellieBell]

I understand why it may not be correct to comment on Ben's (lack of) attractiveness. I think that during their nuptials, people should refer to Jessa's whereabouts as:

" She at the church. She getting married to oily bohunk." Long Duck Dong - Sixteen Candles

[singsingsing]

I don't get it... I think Ben is a decent looking guy. Not a movie star or anything, but definitely not ugly.

[Daenerys]

He looks so.... GREASY to me. It's rather offputting, though she should run away because he's not a nice person and won't treat her well, not because he's got a face like the back end of a bus.

[singsingsing]

I don't like the hair gel, but... I think I tend to be pretty forgiving when it comes to looks. To me he's a decent looking guy. Someone I wouldn't say no to based only on looks if he had the right personality and so on (which of course he does not). I always find conversations like this super interesting, though, because it just goes to show how subjective beauty and attraction really is.

[freejugar]

to me chad, john and ben look pretty alike. if they were all together i wouldn't be able to tell them apart.

[Ralar]

to me chad, john and ben look pretty alike. if they were all together i wouldn't be able to tell them apart.

I think Chad

looks like the love child of these two:

and

[gustava]

I think Chad ryan.jpg[/attachment] and

[attachment=1]weinweA.png[/attachment]

Ok...Who's egg???

[singsingsing]

I agree, Chad looks A LOT like Paul Ryan. It's kind of spooky.

[Mela99]

I agree, Chad looks A LOT like Paul Ryan. It's kind of spooky.

Cannot unsee. Wow..

[3 ring circus]

I agree with how Jessa looks around Ben is the most concern aspect. I think the Duggars still have the mentality that courtship is the time to "get to know" and prior to courtship they don't have any type of relationship (friendship or romantic) before hand. Kelly Bates has openly admitted on their blog that after the Zach/Sarah ordeal they want their kids to become "best friends" prior to entering a courtship. I think that this core friendship between chad/erin and alyssa/ john share and what makes them look comfortable with each other. They honestly Love each other and want to enter courtship/ marriage with them. I don't know if Jessa and Ben had this friendship before hand...hence the demeanour.

I agree. I think Alyssa and Erin truly love Chad and John. Not sure about Zach/Whitney because they aren't shown much. That fact makes me wonder if the courtship is headed south.

There is no way the Duggars would let Jessa out of that courtship. Boob would have to admit he failed, like he thinks the Gil & Kelly failed when Zach/Sarah broke up. Poor Jessa, she really does seem uncomfortable with Ben. If that's how the courtships go in the Duggar family for the girls I'd be in no hurry to court.

[sunshine]

I agree. I think Alyssa and Erin truly love Chad and John. Not sure about Zach/Whitney because they aren't shown much. That fact makes me wonder if the courtship is headed south.

There is no way the Duggars would let Jessa out of that courtship. Boob would have to admit he failed, like he thinks the Gil & Kelly failed when Zach/Sarah broke up. Poor Jessa, she really does seem uncomfortable with Ben. If that's how the courtships go in the Duggar family for the girls I'd be in no hurry to court.

Jessa irrates easily, so it could be that. I'm surprise they did not wait until an engagement to announce anything. Oh, well.

Im sure that Zach and Whitney will marry, they are probably busy with pre-marriage class, working, school and prefer privacy at this time. They probably will not have all can come wedding.

[bal maiden]

Don't think Zach and Whit are headed south; I think it's more likely that they are not fitting the perfect image that Kelly wants to portray (not being fun die enough), and so are being featured less.

[gustava]

Ok...Who's egg???

EDITED: I know the difference between who's and whose.

Who donated the egg?

[HereticHick]

I think the fact that Zach and Whitney aren't parading their engagement around for Gil and Kelly and the cameras gives me even more hope that they are quietly tip-toeing down the fundy-lite path. I hope they are kissing when no one is looking.