Bates Wedding Part 2: Zach N Whitney

[Coconut Flan]

He has a video on Embassy Institute called "how to raise 19 children without a salary'

That is beyond tacky.

As to the other questions, I've never seen a dollar dance. I'd gather up and have a lively discussion with any child of mine who even considered such a thing. I don't like the baskets, bird cages, and other ornamental items set out to collect checks and money either. I believe it's quite possible to have a lovely wedding without a lot of liquor or dancing but so far the weddings in our family have all involved a decent meal and good wine.

The stores do several little tricks to drive up the number of items on the registries. One of the things that they do is offer a discount to the couple on unpurchased registry items for a period of time after the wedding.

[Ralar]

Rude to have a registry? Do you mostly get money then . . . . .

Yes. My ex-husband and I registered at 3 stores (Macy's, BB&B, and Williams Sanoma). We sent out about 125 invitations and received a lot of gifts. Most people gave/sent checks. I think we received about 10 gifts from our registries (combined) and a couple tangible gifts that were not from our registry.

Ditto for the baby registry when our daughter was born. FWIW, my mother and MIL purchased many of the items from the baby registry while I was still in the hospital, since I purchased nothing before the baby as born and did not have a baby shower (Jewish traditions). We received many beautiful gifts (including numerous checks from out of town friends and family), but very few items from the registry.

Registering was fun, but in my case, a big waste of time.

[treemom]

No booze, no dancing, crappy food.

And 100% more mentions of death

[nokidsmom]

And 100% more mentions of death

I will add to the list based on experience.

Listening to bride and groom's lengthly testimonies and hearing all about their sinful life (major TMI) before finding Jebus. Having the preacher admonish all the supposed feminists in attendance, meaning all thewomen that were not part of the congregation, (we just had to be heathens, you know). Making a big, big deal of how the bride is supposed to obey. Oh, and the husband is her lord and master.

[sunshine]

I will add to the list based on experience.

Listening to bride and groom's lengthly testimonies and hearing all about their sinful life (major TMI) before finding Jebus. Having the preacher admonish all the supposed feminists in attendance, meaning all thewomen that were not part of the congregation, (we just had to be heathens, you know). Making a big, big deal of how the bride is supposed to obey. Oh, and the husband is her lord and master.

Erin did not say in her vows that she will obey Chad nor that they will leave up to God how many children they have.

[treemom]

It sure ain't a practice in Southern weddings. Around here it is still considered rude to have a registry (at least the older generations think so). Gifts are given at the bridal shower (not to be confused with bachlorette party) or at the wedding. Thank you notes are hand written and mailed after the honeymoon.

It depends. Registries are common and def the older generations accept them. And I have seen money dances here, but usually from families that have a close tie to their European ancestry, so like Italian. And I am def in the south :).

In Indiana, it is a lot more common where I grew up. I think that is because there are lots of German, polish and Hungarian families who are just 2-3 generations removed from immigrating. And those cultures are still very strong and important.

[Rescinded and Mended]

wutwuzdat, thanks for answering our questions. Your insight into the Bates family has been most illuminating. :)

I agree with the idea of having a bridal registry, but admit to frequently being baffled as to how the couple chooses to handle it.

A friend of mine got married a little while back, and though she and her fiance had been living together for awhile, there were still a few small things she needed for the apartment. My friend registered for practical things - bathroom linens and kitchen appliances. I sent her a nice blender that was on the registry since I couldn't attend the ceremony at the time. Her fiance, on the other hand, registered for a video game console and games to match. :roll:

Another friend got married last year. She had three registries, but most of the items on her lists were in the $50-$100 range or higher. Almost nothing ranged from $20-$30. I wound up picking something out on my own that wasn't on any of her lists. It was nice and less expensive.

I'd also like to add that it isn't uncommon to receive multiple copies of certain gifts at weddings, but there's a good chance that my second friend would most likely not have wound up with 5 crockpots if she had registered for most of her wish list in more reasonable price ranges. ;)

[GeoBQn]

Who was the fundie that registered for Pringles?

[Lillybee]

Who was the fundie that registered for Pringles?

That would be Smuggler, aka Josh Duggar.

[pudding]

That would be Smuggler, aka Josh Duggar.

you guys are killing me, please tell me that he really did this, I'm dying :lol:

[PhiMuLady]

My ex husband wasn't fundie, but added a package of Double Stuf Oreos and a 20 ounce Coca Cola to our Target registry.

I didn't find out until checking it online a few weeks later.

[twinmama]

My ex husband wasn't fundie, but added a package of Double Stuf Oreos and a 20 ounce Coca Cola to our Target registry.

I didn't find out until checking it online a few weeks later.

I love finding ridiculous things on peoples' registeries and then buying them. Bought my husband's horrible cousin a wedding Barbie for her wedding! You're the idiot who registered for it, congrats, you get a Barbie even though your dishes are still there! :lol:

[treemom]

My husband registered for ABC root beer. Because he thought it was funny

[freedomjesusfootball]

I have never been to a wedding in which the bride and groom did not have a registry. And I have been to them on both coasts, in the deep south, and in Texas. It is pretty standard.

I did have a friend who registered for about 35000$ worth of merchandise which I thought was overkill... but she was the only child of two wealthy parents, and she actually ended up getting most of it!

Re: food registry, I registered for an artisan cheese sampler. Unfortunately no one sprung for that.

[twinmama]

i guess i'm in the minority here, but we had a dollar/apron dance at my wedding. it's pretty common in the area of the country we live in and in my ethnic background. my mother was actually shocked when i mentioned that i thought most of my out-of-town guests would find it tacky. we ended up giving the people who "paid" to dance with the bride and groom jello shots (this is just sounding classier and classier). some people gave a dollar, but others who were expecting the dance gave $20 or more. we ended up with about $230 from our guest list of 160 people, and we used it on the wine tour we did on our honeymoon.

I love the jello shot idea, lol. I think it's just one of those things that seems odd when it's not part of your culture or local customs. It's not like anyone is forced to give you money and if people are expecting it, I'm sure they are more than happy to participate.

[twinmama]

Listening to bride and groom's lengthy testimonies and hearing all about their sinful life (major TMI) before finding Jebus.

See now if I'm sitting through a very long super religious wedding, I would love some "Before I met you I was just a whore on the prowl" confessions to liven things up a bit. Much better than the "let us pray... that the country decides to define life as beginning at conception... that we continue to define marriage as one man and one woman" stuff. Those were both in one ceremony too, shocking to me as I grew up Catholic (this was a Catholic wedding) and our priest NEVER mentioned anything remotely connected to abortion or gay marriage.

[defraudingjezebel]

This is all really fascinating, especially with how two faced Kelly is regarding Whitney. From her replies, it seems like Kelly has always adored Whitney since she was there to help Zach out after the failed courtship with Sarah, however, little did we know that she did not approve of her at first. If Zach wants out, I wonder if his beliefs for "leaving children up to God" might change after marriage.

Finduilas, I can't remember whether it was one of Kelly's response or on a tv special but Kelly has claimed that Lawson hands out to his family, whenever they need it. She mentioned that Erin was short on her tuition and asked Lawson if she could "borrow" some money. There's also been times when Gil has taken money from him because he couldn't afford certain things. It doesn't surprise me that Lawson would want outs with his family after all of that.

I wonder whether or not Chad and Erin will continue to drink the kook-aid too or end up mixing up their own flavors. For some reason, after hearing all the stories, I find them more and more annoying.

Hey, so maybe I missed out on this at some point but when/how did we find out that Kelly originally disapproved of Whitney? On one hand, its nice that Kelly hasn't allowed that dislike to keep Zach from marrying her. On the other hand... what a jerk.

[infooverload]

The discussion of the registries reminds me of a funny story. A co-worker of mine had a friend who put condoms on their baby shower registry. The co-worker went and bought the couple a gift and attended the shower. Her friend was all did you spot the unusual entry on the registry. The co-worker was like uh nope. The friend started laughing and said they put condoms down as the last item on the registry.

[nokidsmom]

See now if I'm sitting through a very long super religious wedding, I would love some "Before I met you I was just a whore on the prowl" confessions to liven things up a bit. Much better than the "let us pray... that the country decides to define life as beginning at conception... that we continue to define marriage as one man and one woman" stuff. Those were both in one ceremony too, shocking to me as I grew up Catholic (this was a Catholic wedding) and our priest NEVER mentioned anything remotely connected to abortion or gay marriage.

The testimonies given were pretty much along the lines of whoring around and using drugs before finding religion. I think the parents of the couple getting married found out a few things.

[anjulibai]

:pink-shock: Oh, please post a link!

He has a video on Embassy Institute called "how to raise 19 children without a salary'

[twinmama]

The testimonies given were pretty much along the lines of whoring around and using drugs before finding religion. I think the parents of the couple getting married found out a few things.

Oh my god! I was joking about it being that serious. What are people thinking putting that in their wedding ceremony!? Good grief.

[Rescinded and Mended]

I totally forgot about the "testimony" part of my second friend's wedding. I guess the couple had to confess their 'sins and fears for the future' to the priest before the ceremony, because the next thing you know, everyone in the church was learning about how the groom was an alcoholic before he met his bride, and about how the bride was disabled (not visibly) and how she was terrified that she would ever find anyone who would want her.

It just seemed so bizarre. I hope these are things the couple actually wanted to have mentioned when they during the ceremony, otherwise it was really inappropriate.

[infooverload]

That's a long answer. When I first met them it was cool and kinda a novelty. After getting to know them better and see how they treat their "friends" is appalling. Once they milk the cow dry and you can no longer benefit the family they are done with you. You'll not hear from them unless they have a problem they think you can help with or they have a wedding and want gifts. I can't tell you how many times I've seen Gil tell people he has 19 kids in a effort to get a discount or something given to them. Everyone in the family has come to expect stuff for free.

So yes, I liked the Bates, but less and less so as I have come to see what they are like when the camera's aren't around. The Duggars on the other hand I absolutely can't stand. They are arrogant to a level I've never seen. I'm sad to say but I think it's beginning to rub off on the Bates

Can you give examples of how they treat friends and milk the cow dry?

[Coconut Flan]

Have I said before how much I hate testimonies? At a baptism they are horrible, but they have absolutely no place at a wedding.

[Rosie]

It sure ain't a practice in Southern weddings. Around here it is still considered rude to have a registry (at least the older generations think so). Gifts are given at the bridal shower (not to be confused with bachlorette party) or at the wedding. Thank you notes are hand written and mailed after the honeymoon.

Not here in the Mid Atlantic either.