Don't Scold Your Husband

[lilwriter85]

Lori's "lesson" for today

On one of our vacations we had some guests staying with us. As I was walking down to the house I heard this "godly" woman screaming at her husband. She went on and on. Oh, it was so ugly. He later divorced her.

Let me encourage you to NEVER scold your husband, especially in public. It not only humiliates your husband, but it humiliates yourself also. We must always remember we are not their mother but their wives.

Mothering is necessary for training small children, but when a wife applies teaching or training to her husband it is an invasion of his privacy as an adult and a lack of respect for him as her leader.

Maybe the woman was happy that her husband divorced her.

[PopRox]

As soon as I saw the title, I knew i had to be a Lori post.

I bet deep down, Lori really wishes *she* could scream at her husband. In public, in private, anywhere.

[lizziesmom]

It's always the fault of the woman in Lori's little world. Glad I don't live there.

[docmom]

Let me encourage you to NEVER scold your husband, especially in public. It not only humiliates your husband, but it humiliates yourself also.

This is Lori, right? The woman who on a regular basis points out her husband's faults on a PUBLIC blog? Thanks to Lori we all know Ken is a demands sex even when Lori is ill or the kids are watching, likes to spank Lori when she gets out of hand, routinely forgets to thank her for all she does and leaves the toilet seat up! And we've never even met either of them. She is right though. She does humiliate both herself and Ken on a regular basis.

[SPHASH]

I don't follow Lori's blog but I could tell this thread was about her.

[lilwriter85]

This is Lori, right? The woman who on a regular basis points out her husband's faults on a PUBLIC blog? Thanks to Lori we all know Ken is a demands sex even when Lori is ill or the kids are watching, likes to spank Lori when she gets out of hand, routinely forgets to thank her for all she does and leaves the toilet seat up! And we've never even met either of them. She is right though. She does humiliate both herself and Ken on a regular basis.

I don't think Lori realizes that. Most of her readers seem to be like her in the way, that they believe their husbands should control everything and women are always at fault. Lori is never going to be called out on how much she humiliates herself and Ken. Ken is also pretty stupid because he posts a lot of crappy stuff on a public blog. I've said it before, but I wonder if he has ever faced any kind of backlash on professional level because of Lori's blog.

[salex]

As soon as I saw the title, I knew i had to be a Lori post.

I bet deep down, Lori really wishes *she* could scream at her husband. In public, in private, anywhere.

I thought that scolding Ken and scolding other women was the whole point of her blog?

[salex]

I will say that I don't scold my husband, since we are both grown ups and I'm not his mother. Nor would he be scolding me (same reason). Now, if I were married to an asshat, like Lori is, I might have to scold or write a blog dedicated to dragging up what a jerk he has been.

[RosyDaisy]

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I agree with Lori about not scolding your spouse in public. Who wants to hear 2 grown ass people bitching and screaming at each other in public. It's childish, ill-mannered, and disrespectful to others around you. This goes for both spouses, and has nothing to do with being a godly, submissive helpmeet or leader.

[GeoBQn]

Sane people agree not to scold spouses in public, but her advice is to never scold period. Of course, what she really means is to never provide any disagreeing opinion or advice to your husband, because he has a penis.

I once hate-read The Surrendered Wife, which instructs women to never tell their husbands what to do. She used the example of a woman who saw her husband standing on a rickety chair to get something off the top of the refrigerator. When she told her husband to get a sturdier chair, the husband got angry, and the author's advice was that the wife shouldn't have said anything. Because clearly, having a husband who is dead or disabled from a broken neck is better than having a petulantly angry husband.

[sea_gale]

Sane people agree not to scold spouses in public, but her advice is to never scold period. Of course, what she really means is to never provide any disagreeing opinion or advice to your husband, because he has a penis.

I once hate-read The Surrendered Wife, which instructs women to never tell their husbands what to do. She used the example of a woman who saw her husband standing on a rickety chair to get something off the top of the refrigerator. When she told her husband to get a sturdier chair, the husband got angry, and the author's advice was that the wife shouldn't have said anything. Because clearly, having a husband who is dead or disabled from a broken neck is better than having a petulantly angry husband.

Maybe it's coded advice for abused women, on how they can discreetly bump off their husbands? I may have to find a copy of this without paying royalties.

[RosyDaisy]

I was only agreeing with the in public part not the never part. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.

[rward]

I will say that I don't scold my husband, since we are both grown ups and I'm not his mother. Nor would he be scolding me (same reason). Now, if I were married to an asshat, like Lori is, I might have to scold or write a blog dedicated to dragging up what a jerk he has been.

Exactly. Scolding or screaming at your partner is not a good way to disagree. It's very damaging to your relationship and overall not a good way to communicate. (And you certainly shouldn't be modeling that sort of behavior for your children, if you have any.)

But that has nothing to do with traditional gender roles.

[AnywhereButHere]

Yeah, we had a friend who's wife would regularly berate him, public, private, in front of their kid, I think she felt the more of an audience the better. She was mean and loud about it too, name calling, demorilizing. He would just disengage and not say anything, which almost seem to ramp her up more. It made everyone around them very uncomfortable and is hardly modeling any sort of healthy relationship for their child. So I'm with her as far as the "in public" part.

Now just general disagreeing, shoot, my husband and I do that all the time. Sometimes for fun. We enjoy a good debate on a Sunday morning. Sometimes I'll take the opposing side that I don't agree with just for a challenge (and to rile him up - that's fun too 8-) ) But no, neither of us believe that he's smarter or better than I am because he has a penis. As far as I know, no critical thinking endeavor has ever come out of that appendage... Brains are in our heads, and we all have one of those. :P

[guidedbybobafett]

... This is Lori's lesson every time she posts. Geez lady, we get it. Your blog is a really boring ministry.

[Minerva]

This is Lori, right? The woman who on a regular basis points out her husband's faults on a PUBLIC blog? Thanks to Lori we all know Ken is a demands sex even when Lori is ill or the kids are watching, likes to spank Lori when she gets out of hand, routinely forgets to thank her for all she does and leaves the toilet seat up! And we've never even met either of them. She is right though. She does humiliate both herself and Ken on a regular basis.

Don't scold your husband in front of people. Unless it's online and through passive-aggressive jabs, then it's just part of your ministry.

[Full enough quiver]

It feels weird to agree with Lori, but she actually is partially right. I don't think it's very nice to scold anyone. With obvious exceptions for complete and deliberate asshattery. Most people respond well to a polite disagreement, or a gentle correction (in private, if it's something that might embarass them). I wouldn't scream at my husband (or my children) because that would be extremely disrespectful, and I wouldn't like it if they did it to me. My husband being the man, and therefore better than I am has nothing to do with anything. It's a matter of common courtesy. I'm guessing this is where the agreeing with Lori ends for me.

[Arete]

lilwriter85 wrote:

I don't think Lori realizes that.

I don't think Lori realizes she makes an ass of herself, but she understands on some level that she is humiliating Ken, and she is cool with that situation. He's an Olympic level dirtbag, so it's all good. :shrug:

[Koala]

I wonder if Ken has had an affair before...

Today she is writing about forgiving the "other woman". In the past she has come close to suggesting that if your husband is having an affair you should give up your room, wash the sheets, and cook them dinner when they're done (<----sarcasm...kind of).

[2xx1xy1JD]

I've pointed out to Lori before that she makes Ken sound horrible. She denies it. Ken, though, seems to thrive on coming across as an asshole, and some of the worst things that we know about him come from him directly. They both thought it was perfectly appropriate to share that Ken demanded sex with Lori when she was sick and exhausted, and that such sex was only 10 minutes and not particularly satisfying. Ken also posted that Lori shouldn't expect him to take her to her Cyber-Knife brain tumors treatments or spend extra time helping her while she's going through those treatments - apparently, she should treat a life-and-death issue just like the toilet lid issue and have no expectations at all.

[louisa05]

I will say that I don't scold my husband, since we are both grown ups and I'm not his mother. Nor would he be scolding me (same reason). Now, if I were married to an asshat, like Lori is, I might have to scold or write a blog dedicated to dragging up what a jerk he has been.

What salex said.

Of course, in fundie land, women are not supposed to express opinions to their husbands. So it probably is not uncommon for frustration to build up until wives just lash out screaming.