Larissa and Ian make the Daily Mail online

[Morton Fan]

This might sound cruel of me, but I suspect that Larissa sometimes makes it seems like Ian is doing better than how he actually is.

Totally.

[Mela99]

The only video I remember where he was talking was the first they made, and all he said was, "Hi, wifey."

I'm still so curious about his mental status, where he really is.

[salex]

Totally.

Yes, And I think the noticable lack of vidoes backing up his progress points to that. She talked about his walking over a year ago-- no video. She posted the few second video of him walking, wiht her putting her full weight into keeping him upright and barely managing itin maybe ... july of this year. Last week on their public facebook, they posted a picture of him and another man at the top of some very steep stairs and said he had managed those stairs (no video) and then yesterday again on facebook a cousin (?) of his posted that they were all planning on a walking by 30 party (18 months from now) to celebrate a walking cousin/husband. Several people warned against setting particular dates because it can lead to dissapointment. I just see no video of "their" speaking engagements, or anything that would suggest he is improving or functioning to the level she says and I think wants to believe he is. And so many posts on her blog about sadness, being overwhelmed and crying. Always, always crying.

[lilwriter85]

Yes, And I think the noticable lack of vidoes backing up his progress points to that. She talked about his walking over a year ago-- no video. She posted the few second video of him walking, wiht her putting her full weight into keeping him upright and barely managing itin maybe ... july of this year. Last week on their public facebook, they posted a picture of him and another man at the top of some very steep stairs and said he had managed those stairs (no video) and then yesterday again on facebook a cousin (?) of his posted that they were all planning on a walking by 30 party (18 months from now) to celebrate a walking cousin/husband. Several people warned against setting particular dates because it can lead to dissapointment. I just see no video of "their" speaking engagements, or anything that would suggest he is improving or functioning to the level she says and I think wants to believe he is. And so many posts on her blog about sadness, being overwhelmed and crying. Always, always crying.

I have noticed the lack of videos too. I do remember pictures of him standing, but usually one or two people were assisting him. I remember one of Larissa's speaking engagements was a solo thing at some conference and I recall people unable to attend the conference could pay fee online to watch her speak via skype.

This is going a bit off-topic, I suspect Katie from the Ben and Katie blog is doing similar things to Larissa. I will say that with Ben and Katie, there are more videos of Ben doing therapies or doing things while being assisted by other people. On the B&k blog, Katie blogs about conversations she has with Ben which seem to be in-depth. But the videos of Ben speaking show him not being too verbal. I think at times Katie lies or adds things about the conservations with Ben to make it look like he is better off than he actually is. I think Ben seems to be better off than Ian though.

[Alice_Fraggle]

I just tried to check their blog, and it seems to be gone. Any one else run into that?

[Koala]

I just tried to check their blog, and it seems to be gone. Any one else run into that?

Pray for Ian? It's still up for me.

[Mela99]

Hmm. It didn't come up for me, but when I googled it and clicked on the link it worked.

I do wonder if she's pregnant...

[salex]

Hmm. It didn't come up for me, but when I googled it and clicked on the link it worked.

I do wonder if she's pregnant...

Apparently they have been having problems with their blog, but it is supposed to be back up. Her newest post is about how much her life sucks but that is God using Ian and other things to teach her patience, etc.

Misery as a gift from God.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

Her blog is depressing. Always.

[Vex]

I can't help it, I am just so uncomfortable with this. I don't understand he could consent.

She constantly talks about how miserable she is and it just seems like it was the wrong thing to do for both of them. Is she actually trying to get pregnant? Please tell me they're not having sex. If she struggles with Ian now, how will she cope with children? I think it's an incredibly sad story and it makes me really uncomfortable because of the consent issues. I hope she isn't imagining his progress but it seems like she probably is either doing that or making it up for her readership.

[salex]

I can't help it, I am just so uncomfortable with this. I don't understand he could consent.

She constantly talks about how miserable she is and it just seems like it was the wrong thing to do for both of them. Is she actually trying to get pregnant? Please tell me they're not having sex. If she struggles with Ian now, how will she cope with children? I think it's an incredibly sad story and it makes me really uncomfortable because of the consent issues. I hope she isn't imagining his progress but it seems like she probably is either doing that or making it up for her readership.

Her last several posts have included weeping, hopelessness, putting a deadline on Ian for walking, saying he's able to walk into the house, berating herself for her impatience at his recovering walking as a skill, saying god did this to Ian to teach her patience...

I will say that if she acknowledges on the blog her consistend and possibly growing impatience with him, I worry that she is his main caregiver. I also have long believed she never really thought he'd never get better. I think she thought if she did the holy thing of marrying him, and believed enough, God would heal him (for God's own glory). Hence the posts about patience and about God not doing things that he could easily do. It has been 3 years. I wonder what the repurcussions on Ian will be if he doesn't walk "enough" by his 30th birthday? The picture they posted of him at the top of the stairs looked like an accident waiting to happen.

[salex]

I can't help it, I am just so uncomfortable with this. I don't understand he could consent.

She constantly talks about how miserable she is and it just seems like it was the wrong thing to do for both of them. Is she actually trying to get pregnant? Please tell me they're not having sex. If she struggles with Ian now, how will she cope with children? I think it's an incredibly sad story and it makes me really uncomfortable because of the consent issues. I hope she isn't imagining his progress but it seems like she probably is either doing that or making it up for her readership.

[Mela99]

She made a post before that they definitely do still have sex.

I sometimes wonder if Ian - at his best and before - would have wanted this life for Larissa, if he truly loved her...

[Ms Jess]

She made a post before that they definitely do still have sex.

I sometimes wonder if Ian - at his best and before - would have wanted this life for Larissa, if he truly loved her...

If he truly loved her, no he wouldn't have. Truly loving someone is wanting the best for them and wanting them to be happy. She clearly is not happy. So, so sad all the way around.

[nokidsmom]

Thanks for clearing up the thing about his father.

That's what bothers me about Larissa and Ian, the fact that his father pushed this. In fact had his father been flat out against it and she wanted to do this anyway, I would actually feel better about their situation for her sake. But as it is, I feel this has been entirely forced on her between the dad and her "wanting to do the will of God" mindset.

[Vex]

She has sex with a person who can't consent...?

I understand she was pushed into the marriage. But that is just inexcusable to me.

I agree that if Ian had truly loved her before this, he would not want her to be unhappy. His dad is the one that wanted it and she had the right Christian martyr beliefs to agree to it.

[bionicmlle]

She made a post before that they definitely do still have sex.

I sometimes wonder if Ian - at his best and before - would have wanted this life for Larissa, if he truly loved her...

Slight clarification of the bolded -- they never had sex BEFORE the accident, AFAIK…

Yes, it's so sad. At this point, though, this is the choice she is making. When we've discussed this before, my feelings on the situation changed a bit after reading posts about disabilities from some of our members.

[Vex]

When we've discussed this before, my feelings on the situation changed a bit after reading posts about disabilities from some of our members.

I've missed out on those discussions but I'll go looking for them. What do you think about them having sex? I'm curious as to how other people view this. I am an occasional reader of the blog, so I'm not as well-informed as other people posting about them.

[salex]

Another post on their blog, another tale of crying and frustration about his disability. 95% of their blog is her being unhappy.

[louisa05]

Another post on their blog, another tale of crying and frustration about his disability. 95% of their blog is her being unhappy.

That and deep thoughts from Ian. I have a really hard time believing that he is such a fount of spiritual wisdom. Sometimes I wonder if she is having conversations with herself that she wishes she were able to have with him.

[lilwriter85]

That and deep thoughts from Ian. I have a really hard time believing that he is such a fount of spiritual wisdom. Sometimes I wonder if she is having conversations with herself that she wishes she were able to have with him.

I have wondered the same thing too and a few others here have the said the same thing. I suspect Katie from the Ben and Katie blog does the same thing.

[salex]

I have wondered the same thing too and a few others here have the said the same thing. I suspect Katie from the Ben and Katie blog does the same thing.

Has it been 3 years since they got married, and she consistently blogs about her anger/weariness/hatred of the brain injury. She blogs sometimes about her frustration that GOd doesn't answer certain prayers that would be SO EASY for GOD to do, he just won't/doesnt.

She doesn't seem to be accepting the reality that he probably won't get a ton better over time or getting "used" to their life, which seems like a very bad sign to me. I can imagine a variety of very bad endings to this if the blog is, as I suspect, a shined up prettified version of how she really feels.

[curlytoes79]

That and deep thoughts from Ian. I have a really hard time believing that he is such a fount of spiritual wisdom. Sometimes I wonder if she is having conversations with herself that she wishes she were able to have with him.

In the Desiring God video about their marriage, he said a couple of things. "Hi wifey, how are you?" (very slurred) and "You know, he's awesome" (in response to a question about how god helps him have a happy marriage.) Maybe he's improved since then but to go from barely being able to form sentences to spouting pithy gems of wisdom seems like a stretch.

I do think he understands more than he can express. In the video, Larissa made some complicated comment and then asked Ian if he agreed (he said yes). So in the blog, maybe when she says something and he agrees, that quote becomes something Ian said.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

I think you guys are right, I have seen that sort of thing myself as a nurse, the spouse/family having in-depth conversations while the patient says a few works then they will tell other family members about their conversation making it seem like the patient contributed a lot more than they did.

Understandable.

I live in hope that she divorced Ian & realised waiting for heaven is not the way God would want her to live her life. She sounds so depressed. I want a husband who can participate in her life for her. I want babies for her. I want happiness for her.

Furious that Ian's dad bullied her into marrying him. Disgraceful.