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Justme

Teri Mawell's post about shopping

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Justme

They need stuff to make their Christmas outfits "sparkle". :shrug: At least they got to go out for lunch. maybe they even had a pepsi! Wow, blogs by Joe, Anna, and now Teri. I wonder what Sarah is up to. :think: Maybe she's courting..... :pray:

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silverspoons

I was reading Teri's latest post and this line mad me sad.

"So often the days with little children that are filled with constant work, regular squabbles with them and between them, and no adult company until your husband arrives home from work get long and tiring."

Lets forget the fact that some women work outside the home. Let's say you are a stay at home mom (I have been one because of illness for the past 3.5 years). Why can't you have adult company during the day? Aren't their Christian play groups? You can still have friends over if you have kids. You can still go out to lunch if you have kids with other adults. What about talking to a neighbor? Isn't their something in the teaching of the Maxwell's about being friendly with the neighbors? I live in a very conservative LDS neighborhood. Most of my neighbors are friendly but not best friends. I have to leave my neighborhood to see my closest friends but I still have plenty of adult conversation. When I walk back from walking my kids to school, I have a 94 year old neighbor that likes to stop me and tell me a few stories of the good old days, I have a neighbor that is in her early 50's that sits out in her front porch and in between errands I stop by and chat and plenty of neighborhood moms that might just talk about school or sports but it is part of the community. What a sad life Teri must have. Years of no adult contact. She has joy now that her adult daughters will be her friends? What if by some miracle they all get married and leave?

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Becoming_Me

Won't it be hard to make sure their outfits all sparkle uniformly?

What if the lights cause Sarah to sparkle more than Anna?

People might not even notice they are wearing matching outfits!

Isn't having sparkling outfits fun?

Watch out, the Maxwells are turning fundie-lite.

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kpmom

This is actually a nice post, but I do think Teri should know that moms who work outside the home and send their kids to public school also have close relationships with those kids when they become adults.

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bean

"I am blessed to have daughters who want me to go with them when they go shopping."

Do they even have a choice?

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Mary C Doates
Won't it be hard to make sure their outfits all sparkle uniformly?

What if the lights cause Sarah to sparkle more than Anna?

People might not even notice they are wearing matching outfits!

Isn't having sparkling outfits fun?

Watch out, the Maxwells are turning fundie-lite.

I don't think Steve would approve--sparkling might lead to light-heartedness and maybe even fun. I bet he would limit them to one sequin or one strand of tinsel apiece. Even then, they'd probably have to spend hours in the prayer closet, atoning for even considering the notion of frivolous personal adornment.

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freejugar

If that blog entry is about what to look forward in the future as a mom, it's pretty bleak. Shouldn't it be graduations, job promotions, etc, anything else but a shopping trip?

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twin2
"I am blessed to have daughters who want me to go with them when they go shopping."

Do they even have a choice?

Probably not.

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Dizzy
nelliebelle1197

Probably not.

Well, they could stay home and clean a ceiling fan or two. Heathens.

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SPHASH

What's sad is Teri refers to them as "my girls". Two of them are legal adults Teri!

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NurseNell
What's sad is Teri refers to them as "my girls". Two of them are legal adults Teri!

That doesn't bother me. Almost every mother I know does this. Just like the kids I went to high school with, we always refer to each other as the guys, the girls, the boys, or the kids.

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ThatSnark

That doesn't bother me. Almost every mother I know does this. Just like the kids I went to high school with, we always refer to each other as the guys, the girls, the boys, or the kids.

We're still "the kids" to my mother, even though we're now in our 40s, but the difference is that we have had functional adult lives for the past two decades. We're not literally childlike.

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Jana814

I just read her post again. I didn't realize till that point that she didn't have much contect w/ other people while the kids were young. I thought they went to regular church before leaving she didn't have talk w/ other women in the church?

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Odd1Out
"I am blessed to have daughters who want me to go with them when they go shopping."

Do they even have a choice?

Probably because they're too afraid they'll make a wrong choice alone.

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Miranda

Wouldn't sparkling outfits be an eye trap?

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theologygeek
What's sad is Teri refers to them as "my girls". Two of them are legal adults Teri!

You don't have grown children yet, do you? Just a hunch. It's a mother thing.

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theologygeek
I was reading Teri's latest post and this line mad me sad.

Don't let it make you sad. Being a shut in is good marketing. Every time you feel sorry for her, remember that if she doesn't play the part, she doesn't eat.

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FloraKitty35

Sparkles and Steve Maxwell two things that don't mix.

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gardenvarietycitizen
I was reading Teri's latest post and this line mad me sad.

"So often the days with little children that are filled with constant work, regular squabbles with them and between them, and no adult company until your husband arrives home from work get long and tiring."

Lets forget the fact that some women work outside the home. Let's say you are a stay at home mom (I have been one because of illness for the past 3.5 years). Why can't you have adult company during the day? Aren't their Christian play groups? You can still have friends over if you have kids...

You beat me to it - I came in here to post pretty much this same thing.

This is why you need FRIENDS. You can share "housework" in a circle of other moms, you know? And your kids will have a larger circle too, they will learn to get along with the kids of those other moms, the neighborhood kids.

Of course for the Maxwells the whole "and your kids will have a larger circle too" thing is probably part of why this is all forbidden. It just makes me cry to think of it.

My father was absent a lot due to work that meant living away a good part of the time. But my mother had a tight circle of other wives in the same position, and met with them often. She has said she'd have long since gone crazy if she didn't have that sort of support. Particularly when it otherwise would be just her and two kids under five who can't even hold a serious conversation, for months on end? Yeah.

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Dizzy
nelliebelle1197

That doesn't bother me. Almost every mother I know does this. Just like the kids I went to high school with, we always refer to each other as the guys, the girls, the boys, or the kids.

My grandpa and his brother were the boys and their sisters were the girls until they all died. None of them died before 90. Their mother died near 100 (when the living baby of the family would have been in her 60s) and they were still her boys and girls.

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thoughtful
I was reading Teri's latest post and this line mad me sad.

"So often the days with little children that are filled with constant work, regular squabbles with them and between them, and no adult company until your husband arrives home from work get long and tiring."

Lets forget the fact that some women work outside the home. Let's say you are a stay at home mom (I have been one because of illness for the past 3.5 years). Why can't you have adult company during the day? Aren't their Christian play groups? You can still have friends over if you have kids. You can still go out to lunch if you have kids with other adults. What about talking to a neighbor? Isn't their something in the teaching of the Maxwell's about being friendly with the neighbors?

Yes, there is -- it reads as follows: avoid contact with the neighbors at all costs, unless preaching to them.

As for sparkly clothing being an eye trap, how about the Maxwells dressed in this:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/104828292/l ... _home_feat

They could arrange the lights to say "do you know where you will go when you die?"

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VenusDaisy

Yes, there is -- it reads as follows: avoid contact with the neighbors at all costs, unless preaching to them.

As for sparkly clothing being an eye trap, how about the Maxwells dressed in this:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/104828292/l ... _home_feat

They could arrange the lights to say "do you know where you will go when you die?"

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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DefraudedByPlaid
I was reading Teri's latest post and this line mad me sad.

"So often the days with little children that are filled with constant work, regular squabbles with them and between them, and no adult company until your husband arrives home from work get long and tiring."

Lets forget the fact that some women work outside the home. Let's say you are a stay at home mom (I have been one because of illness for the past 3.5 years). Why can't you have adult company during the day? Aren't their Christian play groups? You can still have friends over if you have kids. You can still go out to lunch if you have kids with other adults. What about talking to a neighbor? Isn't their something in the teaching of the Maxwell's about being friendly with the neighbors? I live in a very conservative LDS neighborhood. Most of my neighbors are friendly but not best friends. I have to leave my neighborhood to see my closest friends but I still have plenty of adult conversation. When I walk back from walking my kids to school, I have a 94 year old neighbor that likes to stop me and tell me a few stories of the good old days, I have a neighbor that is in her early 50's that sits out in her front porch and in between errands I stop by and chat and plenty of neighborhood moms that might just talk about school or sports but it is part of the community. What a sad life Teri must have. Years of no adult contact. She has joy now that her adult daughters will be her friends? What if by some miracle they all get married and leave?

Agreed -it's very sad. The Maxwells think they do not need friends - such would imply that they are frail human beings who don't have all that they need contained within the family unit. They don't need to read - they would be receiving ideas from others when they are the ones who are equipped to give all the "right" ideas to others. They don't need to be ministered to - they ARE the ministers (in the nursing home, when they bake cookies for police officers, when the Maxwell kids are SO influential on all the kids and adults around them, without ever learning from them).

I don't like to feel obligated to others, and struggle with major perfectionism issues. It's been freeing and healing to allow myself to need others. As I continue to learn to do so, not only is it humbling but also empowering - it frees me up to focus more on how I can help others, just as I in turn receive help. If the Maxwells could learn to allow themselves to be the recipients of wisdom, kindness, etc., it would ultimately only make them stronger, more whole people, not weaker.

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YPestis
I was reading Teri's latest post and this line mad me sad.

"So often the days with little children that are filled with constant work, regular squabbles with them and between them, and no adult company until your husband arrives home from work get long and tiring."

Lets forget the fact that some women work outside the home. Let's say you are a stay at home mom (I have been one because of illness for the past 3.5 years). Why can't you have adult company during the day? Aren't their Christian play groups? You can still have friends over if you have kids. You can still go out to lunch if you have kids with other adults. What about talking to a neighbor? Isn't their something in the teaching of the Maxwell's about being friendly with the neighbors?

I think Teri was addressing a predominately fundie audience when she talked about the trials of a SAHM. The Maxwells typically assume their readers are homeschooling, "Bible-believing" Christians. I've never seen them act like they have followers who may have working mothers or send their kids to public schools.

As for the lack of adult conversations...it's a complaint I've heard from mainstream SAHMs too. I can't speak for Teri but a common refrain from SAHM seem to be a lack of adult interactions during the day. Now, the Maxwells, and possibly other fundies, may feel even more isolated because they don't want to interact with the unwashed. In fact, I can imagine Teri being extremely isolated because she doesn't want her kids to interact with other children who may teach her kids about Santa Claus and f*n.

That said, I think Teri sometimes do offer good advice about caring for a family. It's why her scheduling book was so popular and what started the family on their "ministry". She speaks to a larger audience and offers practical advice to homeschooling large families. This, at a time when resources for homeschoolers were nonexistent. It's just so sad that the family decided to turn inwards as they found moderate financial success in their books.

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skrmom
Sparkles and Steve Maxwell two things that don't mix.

That's what I was wondering about. Wasn't steve Maxwell the one who felt buttons on a woman's blouse had to be the same color as the fabric because contrasting colors drew attention to women's chest? I never was able to find his post regarding this, but someone here had mentioned it.

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