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I found some crazy stuff I made as a kid!


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ILoveJellybeans

I found some stories and drawings I did when I was a child!

 

The first was from when I was 11-because the main character named after me was mentioned as being 11. She has 8 siblings, who are named after my real siblings, cousins and two of my best friends. She lives in a small village called Snail Village, where everyone is obsessed with snails, and for some reason has weird hair that sticks up into its own natural hairstyle. There is another girl, named after a third best friend of mine, who doesnt have weird hair that sticks up into its own style naturally, so they make her some hair gel of her own from snail slime. Ew. It is written on a large pad of paper, in blue felt tip pen, with drawings on the opposite page.

 

Then there is a few drawings which I was going to turn into a full story, no idea how old I was, but I did not realise that pregnancies were 9 months long, as there are just over 40 kids under the age of 16. Or I was intelligent enough to realise that often multiple births are premature, so quadruplets and triplets might be born a few months early (but someone getting pregnant with triplets a month after having premature quadruplets sounds rather implausible-what kind of uterus does this woman have??). Somehow they have 7, 7 and a half, 8 and 8 and a half year olds. In this time, this poor poor woman who probably has a sadder uterus than Michelle Duggar, managed to have a set of quadruplets, about 8 sets of triplets, a few sets of twins and a few single kids. I drew the family themselves, including the somehow not tired at all looking parents, and I also drew a floor plan. They have a 6 bedroom home, and the bedroom layout could have given fundies ideas. I didnt quite stack them on shelves five high, but I had bunk beds on all of the walls in the bedrooms. They also had a Bathroom Baby or two. And a Kitchen Baby. The parents slept on the sofas. I dont know how they concieved all of those multiples.

 

There was also one set in a school. I was a bit older, maybe 16-18? It was about a class of 15 and 16 year olds who go to possibly the worst school that exists. Seriously. There was a pregnancy pact between 14 year olds, so about half of their class has babies who they bring to class regularly. The teachers are all in complicated relationships with eachother, the kids smoke and drink in class and concieve more babies in the bathrooms, and one girl has an obsessive crush on her teacher. There is a 16 year old boy who has 6 kids with 3 different fathers, including getting two sisters both pregnant with twins at the same time. There is a feud between two groups of teenagers, who are based on people from an internet forum I was on which was broken apart by fighting when I was about 18. It is not mentioned but implied that the character based on me has a crush on the character based on my best friend....I was beginning to be aware that I liked her as more than a friend, but wasnt sure in what way yet. I had written a full notebook of short stories, scripts, a floor plan of their school and classrooms (including who sits where), a full schedule of the main character's classes and stuff, gave each kid a dysfunctional backstory (being orphaned and having to raise their siblings alone, finding out their sister, who is 14 years older than them is really their mother, having abusive parents, having parents who neglect them, stepparents they dont like, mother running off on holiday with her new boyfriend and never coming back and leaving their teenager home alone to raise her little siblings, finding out their dad has a secret other family or two, very overprotective parents...), writing about the history and demographics of the town they live in, drew a map of the town with the kids houses and the location of the school on...It was written after I discovered the Duggars, one of the kids in the class is a strict religious boy called Robert, who has siblings called Robin, Rachel, Rebecca, Rory, Ryan, Richard, Rupert, Rosie....

 

Then there was one from when I was about 8-10, with me, my sister and our friend as triplets who were switched at birth with a family of fundies who were also in the same hospital having triplets. It detailed our quest to find our birth family and be freed from living in such a boring home of frumper wearing, religion, 6pm bedtimes and 3am wake up times, and obsessive scheduling. And no FUN. Not even a bit. Turned out our birth mother was a famous pop star (a made up one, not a real one). She also had another two sets of triplets and two more single kids, just like the fundie parents did, who were the same age as well.

 

 

 

The current short story I am writing is an attempt to make the worst, most dysfunctional wedding from hell-couple find out they are cousins just before their wedding but go ahead anyway, another cousin starts pickpocketing the guests, someone gives birth in the bathroom, dissaproving fundie aunt and uncle (and their eight kids) who disagree with them having 14 kids before marriage, someome brings their new girlfriend, who is their brother's ex, aunt who wasnt invited (because she started a fight at their youngest child's baby shower as she handed our pro life propaganda) but showed up anyway to judge them, and her husband, who actually has 22 kids with multiple women, including his sister in law and daughter, their daughter, who hates her dad, not only for getting her pregnant but also with him not telling her about his other kids with other people which led to her accidentally sleeping with her brother. Theres also the sister in law, who seems to have a crush on her 25 year old son (because after he was born the dad left her for her sister), along with his wife, who absolutely hates her. A co worker of the bride shows up with her 7 kids, lets them all run wild-throwing flowers, beating eachother up, stealing bites of the cake...and then gets drunk and kisses one of the bridesmaids and has an argument with her boyfriend as he was looking at other women.

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