List of Unmarried Fundies

[Angelic83]

53 minutes ago, SolomonFundy said:

If you're new to the Mortons, the highlights are:

*  Wacky early weddings featuring foot-washing (bride-on-groom), trumpets, velvet doublets and sashes of an apocryphal order of knighthood, and swords.

*  Intermarriage on a level that the ruling houses of Medieval Europe would envy. Not between each other (no known incest or inbreeding), but 8 people from the Morton and Smith families married each other over the course of 2.5 years. 

*  Courtship rituals that feature a literal "bride price".

*  Truly impressive fecundity. I think they are at around 30 grandkids since 2006?

Oh a new rabbit hole for me to fall down. If heard a bit about because of the foot washing, the links posted here are going on to the list. I think it is time I make a tab under my favorites that says down the rabbit hole

[hoipolloi]

18 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Because of the Mortons I actually realized something that I needed to realize - how truly small the extreme fundie world is. They all know each other and reading the blog of any one of them showed you the lives of them all. None of them blog as they once did, if at all, but a newbie can dive in at the start and read the blogs all the way through. Binge reading, almost as entertaining as Netflix binging.

Re: bolded. This is absolutely the case and it's true for all of them, including the former VF crowd. In another thread, @Palimpsest commented ruefully on the messiest & most complex Venn diagram ever when it came to trying to outline Christianity. The same could be said of who knows (or knew) whom in the extreme fundie world and shows up on blogs, instagrams & twitter feeds.

Put another way, you wouldn't even have to refer to six degrees of separation -- it would be more like two or three!

[fundiefan]

I tried to make some of those connections ones night instead of counting sheep. Far too many to just do in my head. Someone and/or some link is constantly forgotten.

Here's an interesting thing I noticed - which would only be noticed by knowing the once intimate connections between the families - it seems very few of the 'old guard' attending Rebekah Sanders' wedding. No Mortons, no Smiths,  no Campanas and only one Roberts that I can tell.  In a normal segment of the world, it wouldn't be noticed even that certain family friends weren't at a wedding because in a normal world we probably wouldn't know them all. In this corner of fundie land, they've all been attached to each other for more than a decade. Why weren't any of them there? It's not like all of them were in Paraguay. Most of the families were pretty well represented at the last three Morton weddings (Martha, Andrew, Sam); of course, Andrew & Sam married members of the inner circle, but still. It's all just....weird. Weird to notice, and then weirder to try to figure out. The mere idea that I know of these people well enough to even speculate.

[Kitcae]

2 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

Don't put that evil on Addie.

It is the wrong hand, my bad. I was drawing the comparison from the memory of seeing it a few days ago.

I misremembered the hand in the photo. I wasn't suggesting that the two rings were the same, only that it was odd to see a solitaire on her finger just a few days before the big announcement. The presumed engagement ring is a much different setting and design.

Adeline Morton is the third daughter of Michael and Jeanine Morton, a fundy family formerly based in Georgia, but recently relocated to Paraguay. She's the only one of the 4 girls in the family (12 kids total) who hasn't married and started a family. (There are also 3 younger brothers who are unmarried as well.) Addie is a sensitive and imaginative person who writes in a florid style and fancies herself to be the living heroine of a Jane Austen novel. Her sisters all seemed to be slightly more practical types, all of whom were eager to set up housekeeping and pop out annual babies. Addie appears to be wired a little differently. Of all the kids, she may revere their father the most, and that could be a major factor in her unwillingness to leave home. She was the primary family chronicler for over a decade, but the blogs have basically dried up at this point. She seemed to lose interest around the time her last sister began courting three years ago, and the family's move to an extremely rural area of Paraguay last year apparently limited her internet access. The most current blog is http://mortonclanthree.blogspot.com/, but there is quite a lot of earlier content at http://mortonclan.blogspot.com/ if you are interested. 

If you're new to the Mortons, the highlights are:

*  Wacky early weddings featuring foot-washing (bride-on-groom), trumpets, velvet doublets and sashes of an apocryphal order of knighthood, and swords.

*  Intermarriage on a level that the ruling houses of Medieval Europe would envy. Not between each other (no known incest or inbreeding), but 8 people from the Morton and Smith families married each other over the course of 2.5 years. 

*  Courtship rituals that feature a literal "bride price".

*  Truly impressive fecundity. I think they are at around 30 grandkids since 2006?

I knew what you meant about the ring.  

Wow, thanks for this comprehensive overview of the Mortons! I've done a little digging on them, but am still pretty new to their family. I noticed in some blog posts what you said about Adeline - gushing about men's boots, and saying that wedding dresses were something out of Pride & Prejudice, and I'm sure there's more I haven't read yet! The highlights you gave are just craziness! I noticed the latest Morton wedding didn't seem to very fundie at all, so maybe some of them are slowly slipping out of it? When I have free time, you know where I'll be! 

So, comparing Adeline to Olivia, I now see what you meant, although I think Olivia is still much more practical than Adeline. Maybe Olivia is not your typical get married and have kids ASAP fundie, but I don't think she's as dreamy. Dare I say that Olivia has a more freedom and is more independent than most fundie girls? 

[Kitcae]

2 hours ago, fundiefan said:

I most envy Morton newbies. They sucked me in hard and fast when I discovered them and it was like reading a bad novel from the early 20th century. So bad I couldn't put it down. The more you dig, the more you find and the farther off you go. Because of the Mortons I learned about the Smiths, Sanders', Roberts, Campanas and more that I can't bring to mind right now. Because of the Mortons I actually realized something that I needed to realize - how truly small the extreme fundie world is. They all know each other and reading the blog of any one of them showed you the lives of them all. None of them blog as they once did, if at all, but a newbie can dive in at the start and read the blogs all the way through. Binge reading, almost as entertaining as Netflix binging.

Oh no! What have I gotten myself into! And I have a big test on Friday! Maybe I'll just bookmark the blogs and then go back to it some other time... yeah we'll see how that goes. I've seen quite a few blogs like the Morton's, but it's really amazing me with how many photos and detailed captions there are. Those are some massive blog posts - which are great for us, right?!

Your point on how small the fundie world is absolutely true. They really do (mostly) all know each other. I've stalked fundies on facebook and their friend connections just keep going in circles! 

[divadivine]

19 hours ago, Kitcae said:

Olivia Howard from the Fresh Modesty blog changed her Facebook profile photo. Her hand is strategically placed on the shoulder of a man named Calvin Williams to display a ring. No wonder her blog has been so quiet lately!!

Did anyone notice she's driving while taking the photo? OMG, douchebag Olivia it's one thing to endanger your life, but to endanger the lives of other drivers on the roads--- hell nah! 

 

[Kitcae]

3 minutes ago, divadivine said:

Did anyone notice she's driving while taking the photo? OMG, douchebag Olivia it's one thing to endanger your life, but to endanger the lives of other drivers on the roads--- hell nah! 

 

I actually didn't notice that she was driving! What! Olivia, you really had to take a photo of your fingernails matching your gluten free pop tart right then?

[divadivine]

3 minutes ago, Kitcae said:

I actually didn't notice that she was driving! What! Olivia, you really had to take a photo of your fingernails matching your gluten free pop tart right then?

Exactly! She's lucky she made it from point a to point b with her gluten free pop tart, her polished nails & her Sears rings in one piece. She annoys the fuck out of me. 

[genever]

@fundiefan , you've created a monster. I need to do actual work things tonight. And all I can think is that I need something new to read since I've read what I want of John Shrader, World's Worst Ministry, and Jill Rodrigues, Severely Noted Eyeliner Aficionado...

I'm going in. I've filled my pockets with cookies and a flask of gin. Tell the rescue ferrets not to worry; I'll emerge eventually.

ETA: I'm so excited that I'm unable to English.

[Kitcae]

4 hours ago, fundiefan said:

I most envy Morton newbies. They sucked me in hard and fast when I discovered them and it was like reading a bad novel from the early 20th century. So bad I couldn't put it down. The more you dig, the more you find and the farther off you go. Because of the Mortons I learned about the Smiths, Sanders', Roberts, Campanas and more that I can't bring to mind right now. Because of the Mortons I actually realized something that I needed to realize - how truly small the extreme fundie world is. They all know each other and reading the blog of any one of them showed you the lives of them all. None of them blog as they once did, if at all, but a newbie can dive in at the start and read the blogs all the way through. Binge reading, almost as entertaining as Netflix binging.

This one made me crack up!! http://thebrothersfive5.blogspot.com/2012/06/pauls-post-our-trucks.html

Unexpected ending! I realize it was put together by the youngest brother, but still! What does a bean have to do with a post about trucks?  

[SolomonFundy]

4 hours ago, Kitcae said:

I knew what you meant about the ring.  

Wow, thanks for this comprehensive overview of the Mortons! I've done a little digging on them, but am still pretty new to their family. I noticed in some blog posts what you said about Adeline - gushing about men's boots, and saying that wedding dresses were something out of Pride & Prejudice, and I'm sure there's more I haven't read yet! The highlights you gave are just craziness! I noticed the latest Morton wedding didn't seem to very fundie at all, so maybe some of them are slowly slipping out of it? When I have free time, you know where I'll be! 

So, comparing Adeline to Olivia, I now see what you meant, although I think Olivia is still much more practical than Adeline. Maybe Olivia is not your typical get married and have kids ASAP fundie, but I don't think she's as dreamy. Dare I say that Olivia has a more freedom and is more independent than most fundie girls? 

You're welcome! Dragging someone into the cesspool of Mortondom is always a thrill.

Olivia is DEFINITELY an odd representative of fundy "girlhood". Based on clues she's peppered in her blog over the years, it seems certain that she's had interested suitors in the past, though for whatever reason, nothing came of it. Her parents moved to TN to live in that tiny community of fundies they church with, becoming far more conservative in the process. And yet... Olivia has been allowed to operate a rather self-aggrandizing fashion blog over the years, become fully integrated in social media, start two different businesses, travel independently (frequently) out of state for social reasons as well as work, and all the while, retain the good favor of their church community. It's a mystery to me.

You're right; Olivia is much more worldly and practical in nature. She's always seemed to share that "fish out of water" vibe with Addie, but they don't have much in common otherwise. Especially now that Olivia has entered into an apparent engagement. (Though maybe it's a courtship?) Addie intrigues me and her whimsical, weird nature appeal to me. Olivia kind of annoys me. She's pretty hypocritical, and frequently flip-flops on her stated values. (Sometimes pants are okay, sometimes they aren't; only uses all-natural cosmetics except for all of this crap that isn't natural at all; "I refuse to fund slavery by buying cheap clothes from retailers", but then does several "thrift hauls" where she spends her money on the brands she lambasted just a few weeks before, etc. etc.)

 

+1 for the WTF over her driving as she took the picture. It's dangerous enough to eat while driving, let alone operate a cell phone camera to capture that all-important moment that you realize your nail polish is kind of red. 

[ophelia]

11 hours ago, fundiefan said:

 Binge reading, almost as entertaining as Netflix binging.

Or sometimes even more entertaining.

@SolomonFundy you are absolutely right. Addie needs a guy OUTSIDE the Morton circles. She is, besides Jana Duggar, one of the few SAHDs that makes me wish the whole "Knight in a shining amor"-crap they have to read as young girls might come true for these girls. But not in a fundie-approved way.

[JMO]

I just want to pop in and say, "I  the S'Mortons!!!" I'm so sad that they are internet less and are not posting publicly these days.  They are my fave WTF fundies.  I hate watch Cap'n Brett eulogizing Kressant at her wedding and Katie zombie fellowshipping her way through her post birth video for fun.  I want more Addie blog posts.  I'd LOVE to see photos from Paraguay and read their version of what they are doing.  Le Sigh.  Since they stopped blogging and started having weddings without a bizarre dress code they just aren't the same. 

 

(Now I can say have fully earned my Vigorous Leghumper title)

[SolomonFundy]

Olivia Howard from Fresh Modesty has up a new blog post acknowledging that she is engaged to Calvin, and that they will be moving to Georgia (where he lives) after they are married. The wedding is scheduled for mid-August of this year. 

Some interesting points:

-They connected 5 months ago via social media when he contacted her about photography. From the way she writes about the encounter, it sounds like he was flirtatious.

- He has no memory of meeting her several years earlier, though she remembers him.

- She was cagey about courtship. She says that they "called it that", but that they did things "very differently from how you're 'supposed' to". This smells a lot like dating, and they clearly began communicating without the involvement or oversight of Olivia's father. Perhaps Calvin contacted him before asking her about photography?

- Calvin has given her permission to continue blogging after they are married! What a guy!

 

[Kitcae]

On 5/11/2016 at 10:37 PM, SolomonFundy said:

You're welcome! Dragging someone into the cesspool of Mortondom is always a thrill.

Olivia is DEFINITELY an odd representative of fundy "girlhood". Based on clues she's peppered in her blog over the years, it seems certain that she's had interested suitors in the past, though for whatever reason, nothing came of it. Her parents moved to TN to live in that tiny community of fundies they church with, becoming far more conservative in the process. And yet... Olivia has been allowed to operate a rather self-aggrandizing fashion blog over the years, become fully integrated in social media, start two different businesses, travel independently (frequently) out of state for social reasons as well as work, and all the while, retain the good favor of their church community. It's a mystery to me.

You're right; Olivia is much more worldly and practical in nature. She's always seemed to share that "fish out of water" vibe with Addie, but they don't have much in common otherwise. Especially now that Olivia has entered into an apparent engagement. (Though maybe it's a courtship?) Addie intrigues me and her whimsical, weird nature appeal to me. Olivia kind of annoys me. She's pretty hypocritical, and frequently flip-flops on her stated values. (Sometimes pants are okay, sometimes they aren't; only uses all-natural cosmetics except for all of this crap that isn't natural at all; "I refuse to fund slavery by buying cheap clothes from retailers", but then does several "thrift hauls" where she spends her money on the brands she lambasted just a few weeks before, etc. etc.)

 

+1 for the WTF over her driving as she took the picture. It's dangerous enough to eat while driving, let alone operate a cell phone camera to capture that all-important moment that you realize your nail polish is kind of red. 

Well, I've followed Olivia's blog for years, so I think I know her story pretty well, and it looks like you do too! Olivia not being very consistent bothers me as well. She usually states that she has a reason behind it, but then that reason goes out the window. I think that she gets really passionate about one thing for a short time, and then after all her excitement she changes her values. Also, if she's anything like me as I was in my teen years, my values, standards, and knowledge kept changing as I grew so I can kind of understand her flip-flopping. Although, there are times (like the driving photo) that I wish she'd just think clearly. But honestly, I'm happy for her that she's engaged! 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

In her comments on the engagement post is says that her style may change because he has different standards and preferences. Hoo boy. She says she also may need to dress differently for the climate in Atlanta, which I guess makes sense. But you have an established fashion blog/ your own clothing line, and as soon as some dude comes along you're like "okay, this didn't matter that much, I'll change it."

[Kitcae]

47 minutes ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

In her comments on the engagement post is says that her style may change because he has different standards and preferences. Hoo boy. She says she also may need to dress differently for the climate in Atlanta, which I guess makes sense. But you have an established fashion blog/ your own clothing line, and as soon as some dude comes along you're like "okay, this didn't matter that much, I'll change it."

Hmm, I wonder in what ways his standards, preferences, and practicality/ style differ from hers? She's wearing jeans and a sleeveless tunic (as she calls those tops) in their engagement photos. It sounds like she'll be transitioning from country girl to city wife. She did say she doesn't intend to change her style completely.

[ladyamylynn]

Lydia Coghlan and Bradley Hinrichs are engaged per facebook.

[jakesykora]

On 4/25/2016 at 0:55 PM, HereticHick said:

Now it is 7 weeks passed and no update on the Neely-Staddon courtship. My spidey sense is picking up the whimpering of lost heart pieces.

Still on - wedding mid-July

http://danielloveskathryn.com/our-story/

Short version:

They've known one another forever.

Dec 2014 - He emailed her dad about her

Jan 2015 - She inadvertently discovered he'd emailed her dad about her and was excited/humbled/yada yada but they still didn't communicate

August 2015 - She found out TWO people were interested in her

Mid-September 2015 - She was back to pursuing him, except...for some unspecified possible other 'route' on her part and so it was basically 'off.' He was sad

December 2015 - She felt like she was to move forward in small baby steps w/ Daniel and began some email communication w/ him

January 2016 - More communication going forward, both excited, both felt confirmation from God by end of January

February 1st - She wrote him of where she was at.

February 2nd - They spoke for the first time on the phone - and "3 weeks and 1 day" later she had all her questions answered and w/ 5 exclamation marks.

March 2nd - Engaged

So YES - 1 month after they spoke on the phone for the first time (during which time they apparently did not see one another) they were engaged.

 

 

 

[uber frau]

Good Lord.  Everything is so much more complicated than it needs to be. So much navel gazing and over analysis.

[LadyCrow1313]

6 hours ago, jakesykora said:

Still on - wedding mid-July

http://danielloveskathryn.com/our-story/

Short version:

They've known one another forever.

Dec 2014 - He emailed her dad about her

Jan 2015 - She inadvertently discovered he'd emailed her dad about her and was excited/humbled/yada yada but they still didn't communicate

August 2015 - She found out TWO people were interested in her

Mid-September 2015 - She was back to pursuing him, except...for some unspecified possible other 'route' on her part and so it was basically 'off.' He was sad

December 2015 - She felt like she was to move forward in small baby steps w/ Daniel and began some email communication w/ him

January 2016 - More communication going forward, both excited, both felt confirmation from God by end of January

February 1st - She wrote him of where she was at.

February 2nd - They spoke for the first time on the phone - and "3 weeks and 1 day" later she had all her questions answered and w/ 5 exclamation marks.

March 2nd - Engaged

So YES - 1 month after they spoke on the phone for the first time (during which time they apparently did not see one another) they were engaged.

 

 

 

I went down the rabbit hole of their gift registry at Bed Bath & Beyond. Surprised to see that it wasn't too crazy, except for the number of sets of utensils they're requesting; but considering how big both families are, that's not a surprise. The dishes all appear to be white (zzzzzzzzzz), but there seems to be a fancy pillow or two in the list.

I'm not sure how old either of them are, but Daniel has almost always looked to be about 13 & she about 18.  I wish them well, & hope they can escape the insanity of their upbringing.

[Kitcae]

I don't know exactly how old they are, but I guess they're both in their early twenties according to the order/age of their siblings. Also, David won the bible bee in the senior age division (ages 15-18)  in 2009, so he has to be at least 21. He does look ridiculously young though!

[refugee]

25 minutes ago, LadyCrow1313 said:

The dishes all appear to be white (zzzzzzzzzz),

What *is* the deal with white dishes? One of my teens wants us to get rid of all our blue-and-white (think Anne of Green Gables, yeah, honestly, I chose china based on a fictional character when I was young and idealistic and rather Anne-ish, and slowly accumulated a full set) and replace it with white. OTOH, the other teen is into bright colors and folk art style, so maybe it's just personal taste after all.

I keep telling them when they have their own places, they get to pick the dishes.

[Kitcae]

@LadyCrow1313Oh, I remembered something else about Kathryn's age! I realized I have a magazine that has an article written by her and the magazine usually publishes the age of the writer. So I checked it and it was just like I thought. The magazine was published in June 2014 and it said her age then was 19, so she must be 21 currently. 

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

1 hour ago, refugee said:

What *is* the deal with white dishes? One of my teens wants us to get rid of all our blue-and-white (think Anne of Green Gables, yeah, honestly, I chose china based on a fictional character when I was young and idealistic and rather Anne-ish, and slowly accumulated a full set) and replace it with white. OTOH, the other teen is into bright colors and folk art style, so maybe it's just personal taste after all.

I keep telling them when they have their own places, they get to pick the dishes.

I use white dishes almost exclusively.  Not because I'm boring, but because I love them for their versatility. I change out home decor seasonally and white dishes go with every table setting. I also think a white backdrop allows the beauty of the food to shine. And I can mix and match pieces as I acquire them. I do have pretty patterned and colorful dishes that I mix in, but they are collected over time, not something I would put on my wedding registry.