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Teri Maxwell embarrasses/insults me


MamaJunebug

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It's been my belief that God does hear our prayers, be it wanting good health for a loved one or a new cell phone case, He doesn't always answer them the way we want them. A story a former pastor of mine told in a sermon once was this poor widowed woman prayed every Sunday in church that she would win the lottery. Several months passed and she never won. So she went to church and prayed "Dear God why won't you let me win the lottery?". Then a big booming voice breaks the silence and says "I would let you win the lottery if you would just go out and buy a ticket!".

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The "god can't answer you if you don't pray" is a great way for them to set up their own self-fulfilling prophecies. If you pray about absolutely everything, you're bound to get several "answered prayers" every day.

"Dear Lord, let me make delicious smoothies for my brothers this morning." BAM, answered prayer.

"Dear Lord, allow me to bask in Bible time for at least 7 hours today." BOOM, answered prayer.

"Dear Lord, let me finish my poo within my 3-minute bathroom time limit today." Sad trombone...

Two outta three ain't bad, right?

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The way I see it, God has already provided the Maxwells with the means to buy small, insignificant items like cell phone cases. They don't need to pray for something they can just go out and buy. It isn't a major purchase, like a car.

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The "god can't answer you if you don't pray" is a great way for them to set up their own self-fulfilling prophecies. If you pray about absolutely everything, you're bound to get several "answered prayers" every day.

"Dear Lord, let me make delicious smoothies for my brothers this morning." BAM, answered prayer.

"Dear Lord, allow me to bask in Bible time for at least 7 hours today." BOOM, answered prayer.

"Dear Lord, let me finish my poo within my 3-minute bathroom time limit today." Sad trombone...

Two outta three ain't bad, right?

Dang, too much white rice again! Back to beans and onions!

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Dang, too much white rice again! Back to beans and onions!

Or the fiber in the cheese paper wasn't enough to counteract the cheese.

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The purpose of making requests through prayer is something I don't understand. The Bible says God knows our hearts' desires, knows he has the plans for us, knew us in the womb before we were formed, etc. So if God knows all this, why should we ask him for things if its already pre-destined? What's the point? And then why does the bible also say "ask and you shall receive" if our lives are already planned?

I'm a cradle Catholic and this is something I've never gotten a satisfactory answer to. Though we aren't exactly encouraged to ask such questions, either.

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I will never figure Teri out....need/want a new cell phone case? Just go to the freakin store and BUY one!

Eta: Just went and looked at T' s new case. My daughters cellphone case was identical. They can be cleaned by applying oxy5 acne treatment to the grubby vinyl parts and setting the case under an incandescent light bulb for several hours. After the light treatment, wipe the oxy off with a damp cloth. Stubborn stains may require a second treatment. I used the same method to clean my daughters' baby dolls when their little vinyl faces got smudged.

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I wonder how guilt-ridden Sarah was for owning a cell phone case she didn't need? Teri also mentioned Sarah was cleaning out her closet. Why wasn't it clean to begin with? Tsk, tsk, Sarah. Wasting money on things you don't need and saving things you have that are in excess of your needs. Nobody's going to marry you if you don't know how to live frugally.

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How I'm guessing this all actually went down:

Oh, twin2, that might suggest that something normal happened in Maxwellandia.

I suspect that families like these think that wishes are bad juju and praying is good. Therefore, Teri can't *wish* for a new cellphone case, because that's using magic to worship an idol, but she can *pray* for one, because all things are in God's power.

Although, she could cut out the middle man and be responsible for her own actions and say, "Well, this case is still good, just a little dirty. I'll see about cleaning it now, but when the contract's up, I'll remember to get a different case for the next phone."

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Ugh, I too find it annoying when fundies talk about god like he's sitting ~wherever~ and wringing his hands while waiting for them to pray about some inane, first-world problem.

I was reading Chelsy Bontrager's blog today, and she was talking about how on one of their trips they ended up at a church where they knew there would only be one place they would be able to park their bus. LO AND BEHOLD that spot was open!!! IT WAS SUCH A BLESSING!!! JFC Chelsy, I know you don't think god was just waiting around directing traffic until your family showed up.

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1. Surely Sarah's closet should already have been cleaned. Time for a chore-pack overhaul? That should already be on the seasonal rotation; it's coming into late October.

2. These people (Steve) have been preaching at us that God has a plan for our lives. Since He's all-powerful, no amount of prayer from us meat puppets is going to change that plan. Therefore, it was pre-ordained that Teri would receive a new cell phone case. It was not the prayer that caused this to happen. Did I get that contradictory aspect of Maxwellian theology correct?

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Why couldn't she use her housewife skillz and make one? I crochet phone cases all the time, it takes me about half an hour to make a simple one. And I'm a short haired atheist harpy living in mucky sin with a Welshman.

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The purpose of making requests through prayer is something I don't understand. The Bible says God knows our hearts' desires, knows he has the plans for us, knew us in the womb before we were formed, etc. So if God knows all this, why should we ask him for things if its already pre-destined? What's the point? And then why does the bible also say "ask and you shall receive" if our lives are already planned?

Amen.

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I still need someone to explain fundie prayer to me. I understand people who use it as a kind of meditation thing; praying for understanding, etc. But how can anyone think they can pray for something to happen? Can something happen that was not already in "God's Plan"? If so, has your prayer thwarted His Great Plan?

I remember a religious girl at work telling my that prayer worked because her parents had prayed for something and it happened. I told her I had wished for something and it happened. Didn't mean I believe that "wishing" works.

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I still need someone to explain fundie prayer to me. I understand people who use it as a kind of meditation thing; praying for understanding, etc. But how can anyone think they can pray for something to happen? Can something happen that was not already in "God's Plan"? If so, has your prayer thwarted His Great Plan?

I remember a religious girl at work telling my that prayer worked because her parents had prayed for something and it happened. I told her I had wished for something and it happened. Didn't mean I believe that "wishing" works.

I don't understand it either, and its not limited to fundies. Catholics have this mindset too. My sister told me she'd been praying for a baby and got pregnant with my nephew soon after, so prayers work and God provides us with what we want (apparently indiscriminatorily, be it child or phone cover). I told her I've been praying for a husband/ family for ten years and here I am, still single. She told me it's all in God's time. Which made me point out that if it was "God's time" for her to get PG, then her prayer was unnecessary and he technically didn't answer her prayer if he was doing things in his own time and it was ging to happen then anyway. She got annoyed and thus ended the conversation. But this is something that really confuses me...

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Have thoroughly enjoyed the conversation, and the observations about the anomalies in Terified’s story: why did Poor Sarah have an extra phone case? How did her closet come to be in need of cleaning? Most of all, what in heaven’s name did Teri think she’d accomplish by posting that meshuggineh story?

I’ve also felt moved by my own reason to address the subject of prayer, since several here have asked very fair and honest questions about it.

As a little Lutheran, I was taught that while we will never understand God (how could we understand Someone so all-powerful?), God still loves us, and wants us to be close to Her, after all, She’s in charge of everything and made us. (I’m writing pretty much in the way I was taught as a four-year-old, so excuse anything that sounds a little patronizing, please.)

We get close to God, live our lives knowing She cares for us, in part by learning about Her through the Bible, in part by prayer. What is prayer? I cribbed this from the website of the church my congregation is part of:

Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sin, reconciles

us to God and thus makes it possible for us to come to

God in prayer. Prayer is a marvelous privilege from the Lord.

He not only commands us to pray, but He invites us to pray to

Him. He wants our prayers. What a fantastic blessing prayer is!

The Lord’s Prayer is the prayer above every other prayer

because our Lord Jesus Christ personally gave this prayer to

the church.

Of course that made me curious as to how the Our Father/Lord’s Prayer is regarding in Maxhell. Something to ask Stevovah about, maybe.

But back to the topic at-hand, prayer and what traditional Christians – Lutherans, at least – are taught about it. We’re taught that prayer can be to praise God, to thank God, to ask God for something, or just to talk with Her.

The praising prayers are meditative; even when we are in deep sorrow, we are taught to praise God for being there – even as we admit that we don’t understand why a grievous thing has happened, we admit that we’re mad as hell at God. God is infinite; She can take such language, and when it comes from one who is trying to understand, is trying to trust, is trying to make sense of things, She speaks to us. Somehow.

I couldn’t give you an example right now, though there have been more than enough times that I’ve prayed in such a way. Thing is, and this may just be me, after such a prayer, when I’ve remembered to acknowledge that God loves us even when Her face seems turned from us, then I’ve reached at least enough peace to be able to go the next five minutes or more.

Some of the prayers are to thank God and acknowledge Her goodness and grace in our lives. To thank Her for the struggles that make us stronger in body, mind and spirit – again, relying on Her.

There also are intercessory prayers, where we pray for others; and we’re told that Jesus taught us to pray for our enemies. It may be spiritual or it may be psychological, but asking The Highest Power to help/correct/bless/curse those who curse us, has some calming effect.

The asking prayers (aka petitions) can be answered, we are taught from little on up, in one of three ways: Yes, no, or wait. As littles, we are told, certainly, pray for that pony! But see that God is always there, whether your get a Palomino on a plastic model horse, on your birthday.

As we grow in perception and understanding, our teachers coach us to consider which petitions are worth our spiritual energy to pray (world peace, that our governmental leaders would get a clue, to save a young mother from her illness).

Every weekend our pastor prays for renewed health for any number of folks – and the petition always ends, “if it be Your will, oh Lord.†Back to the fact that God may answer, “Yes, healed!†or “No, going to die,†or “Wait and see.â€

It isn’t that God is playing with us (though it seems like it, admittedly, some times), but that She will work things for the good – even when we won’t be able to see that good in our time here on earth.

It’s kind of like a blogger on kveller.com said about the afterlife: If you prepare for it by drawing close to God, you will love it. If you don’t really care, you won’t be that comfortable in it; and if you actively rail against God in your life here, your time with Her/Him in the afterlife will be miserable.

Kind of like that, but not exactly like that. We Lutherans are taught that the more we pray to God, the better we get to know Her. How do you get to know an earthly friend? You chat, you hang out, you ask questions and wait for the answers. Same with God, and we get to know Her by prayer and Her word.

I’m stopping here because I think it’s all be said and when I start referencing young Jewish moms on-line in an essay about traditional Lutheranism, you know I’m starting to go a little afield. Heh.

Point to make, though, is that my Lutheran grade school teachers would read Teri’s phone-case blog post and sigh. So much misunderstanding of what prayer is, and how to teach others about it, especially from a grown woman who studies the word more than daily. Certainly not a way for Teri to teach her minions about the power of prayer. And then they’d ask if maybe we could say a prayer for Teri, that she’d draw closer to God, which we ought to, as well; that like us, she’d make all kinds of mistakes along the way, but that God would still be there, welcoming her and us.

PS: We're taught to be careful about glowing over prayers that were answered to our satisfaction here on earth. If God saw fit to heal a loved one or bring a soldier home safe or spare the lives of all the citizens of a tornado-ravaged town, it is praiseworthy but not to be boasted about!!! It was unmerited but oh-so-welcome. When the loved one dies or the carnage is great, we pray for understanding of God's will even when that seems impossible and we get off our duffs and do what we can to mitigate the situation.

Fringe groups complicate things so much. Thanks to all who read this for their patience. I'll think twice before I start a new topic on the Maxfails. ;)

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One of the dumbest examples of "I prayed, god answered" that I remember (although the cell phone prayer could usurp its run at first place) was something I read on a Weight Watchers forum. They used to have a board called "Inspiration Soup," which was originally intended to be people posting inspirational comments for other WWers until it was taken over by fundies. Anyway, this woman posted about how she was home one day and got a sudden craving for one of thse enormous metal tubs of kettle corn. Not a small bag, mind you, but those big honkin' tubs that you always see in discount stores around holiday season. She knew she shouldn't really have it so the entire time she dressed, got into the car, drove 15 miles to Walmart (of course), drove around looking for a parking spot right up front (god gave her that too), she was praying that god would save her from herself. And HALLELUJAH! She walked into the store and THEY WERE SOLD OUT OF BIG HONKIN TUBS OF KETTLE CORN! GOD HEARD HER PRAYERS! JESUS SAVES!

Seriously? Jesus/god had to wait until you got to the store? They couldn't have heard you beforehand? Or just put it on your heart to say NO! and shut your big, fat mouth? Yeah, while you were driving to Walmart like a maniac, Jesus/god caused a stampede of people who desperately needed kettle corn to storm the store and buy them out JUST TO SAVE YOUR SOUL. Of course, everyone else was SOL because you were god's speshul snowflake, but apparently they weren't as important as you so who cares, right?

I swear, my eyes rolled so far back into my head that I practically needed surgery to retrieve them. Is there NO personality accountability in fundie land?

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For me the core purpose of prayer is loving communication with God in an effort to always work towards more of Him, less of me.

Not the other way around.

There is nothing that the Maxwell family does that resembles the work of Christ to me in any way, shape or form. They are not a "ministry". They are a insular family of Judgy McJudgertons peddling their wares to make money, just like Doug Phillips (is a tool) and Geoff Botkin and all the rest of them.

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MJB, thank you for your very thoughtful words on prayer. Although I'm not really a believer, I do attend an Episcopal church and this sounds a lot like what they teach.

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A cell phone is a control device. Steve has to be away at times, shopping, doing man stuff. He can test obedience by expecting a call to be answered in a few rings. A co- worker I used to have would call his wife at unexpected times during the day. We would listen to him ream her out for going out to the mailbox to get the mail and not being there to answer the phone.

Have a sister- in- law who is allowed to go shopping, but must call and update when she gets to a store, the as soon as she gets back to car to make sure she isn't having an affair while in the store.

I think she is stupid for putting up with this, but she chose this man.

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I bet Steve tracks their locations using their phones and probably has one of those apps where he can read their texts like the bates do.

It's one of my hugest pet peeves to see people on fb posting about how god did something so small for them. One went on and on about how she liked a certain dog breed for years and then two puppies needed a home and it was that breed. Then one dog died so I don't know if that was part of the plan or what.

I had to delete one friend because she did this constantly. Here I was going through all this crap and all she talked about was god solving her kids gymnastics schedule or something.

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