Raising Olives the People Collector

[longskirts]

raisingolives.com

Her 92-year-old grandmother is moving in for two months, maybe permanently. And she has four foster kids, whom she may adopt permanently. And she has 11 biological kids.

I like big families if the parents can properly care for the kids but it worries me when someone is so obsessed with growing numbers.

[Hisey]

I gotta say, I don't mind this lady. She admits when she is wrong. She tries not to be a hypocrite. She wonders how she can ask others to adopt or foster, when she does not. That is a question I have asked about other fundies--if God commands you to care for orphans, why do you do nothing but have more biological babies?

And it is better for those foster kids to be in a stable-ish home, than to move from house to house every few months. I think that it is more admirable for her to take in (often difficult) foster kids, than to spend her time rendering her own lard or making her own root beer, as Zsu does. Way more godly.

With that said, I think she has too many people in her house.

[MsSaylor]

How old are her bio kids? Here foster parents can only have 9 kids in the house total, ans only 6 under 12.

[longskirts]

Her kids range from toddlers to teens. I believe they are fostering through a Christian organization so the state agency's placement rules don't apply.

[dianapavelovna]

They don't have foster kids in the custody of the state. They're kids placed voluntarily by a private agency.

raisingolives.com/2013/04/unexpected-journey-part-3/

[Mama Mia]

If she's willing to take a sibling group of four, as long as she's not horribly abusive, I think it's great. Kids put into the system lose everything and everyone they love very suddenly, getting to keep their siblings with them makes it much less traumatizing. I think that would outweigh the drawbacks of having so many people in one house.

Generally speaking of course.

[longskirts]

I agree it's usually better to keep siblings together. Raising Olives has discussed "swatting" babies when they make noise during church so I'm not really confident there won't be abuse.

[Mama Mia]

I agree it's usually better to keep siblings together. Raising Olives has discussed "swatting" babies when they make noise during church so I'm not really confident there won't be abuse.

Are kids in foster care under a private organization subject to any state laws? I know in my state smacking of any kind is not allowed in foster care, but don't know about other states, or how much oversight there is with a private agency.

I assume the private agencies are contracting with the state and getting foster care money to pass on to the parents, so there's probably some sort of guidelines ?

That's one advantage of starting with foster care, by the time they do adopt and the oversight is gone they will have hopefully learned some non violent parenting skills.

But I imagine each states guidelines are different.

[longskirts]

Are kids in foster care under a private organization subject to any state laws? I know in my state smacking of any kind is not allowed in foster care, but don't know about other states, or how much oversight there is with a private agency.

I assume the private agencies are contracting with the state and getting foster care money to pass on to the parents, so there's probably some sort of guidelines ?

I don't know about the laws in her state but she has written about previous foster kids that they were not in state custody. She was not eligible to foster through the state system because of the number of bio kids she has. From what she has shared it seems she is working with a Christian organization that places kids with Christian families temporarily, without involving the government.

[chaotic life]

It's Safe Families. Some here might recognize them better if you google Anna Mae He. They are NEVER supposed to adopt the children they are fostering. It is informal, kinship placement ONLY. The families do not make any money on the kids. However, Bethany plays this program up heavily because they claim is it NOT predatory and they are not trolling for children from at-risk families that they place and then swoop with 'foster' families to file for adoptions whether the biological families agree or not.

Nope, not going to give her ANY credit for going with Safe Families because she couldn't get approval for an ethical adoption in any way, shape, or form and thus signed up with Bethany under an agreement that she was NOT looking to adopt when *wink*wink*nudge*nudge* that's EXACTLY what she was looking for in the first place.

[Mama Mia]

It's Safe Families. Some here might recognize them better if you google Anna Mae He. They are NEVER supposed to adopt the children they are fostering. It is informal, kinship placement ONLY. The families do not make any money on the kids. However, Bethany plays this program up heavily because they claim is it NOT predatory and they are not trolling for children from at-risk families that they place and then swoop with 'foster' families to file for adoptions whether the biological families agree or not.

Nope, not going to give her ANY credit for going with Safe Families because she couldn't get approval for an ethical adoption in any way, shape, or form and thus signed up with Bethany under an agreement that she was NOT looking to adopt when *wink*wink*nudge*nudge* that's EXACTLY what she was looking for in the first place.

How does Safe Families operate? Donations? And where do they find the kids?

I used to work in group homes and the private agencies would receive state money for the care of the kids. They were classified as severely emotionally disturbed, so the agency received a lot of money, IIRC it was over$3,000 a month per kid, 25 years ago. Most of them did have serious issues, but some of them seemed to be typical rebellious teens who would get an Oppositional Defiance Disorder label stuck on them. It was a legitimate program with qualified therapists etc, but they did rake in a ton of money.

[chaotic life]

They heavily advertise for families in crisis who want Christian homes to be a safe temporary environment, no involving the state, no losing custody, no mess. The families that foster pay for the program and I've never seen them advertise how they find it. They swear they are NOT Bethany but I've never seen them independent of Bethany. Separation of parent and child is not what is best in crisis. I would guess they get some state funding, but they don't disclose it.

Bethany is the worst offender for unethical adoption practices. Families that cannot get healthy newborns get funneled into this program where they get healthy, well loved poor kids with a rate that goes to adoption that is also not disclosed. It's predatory. If Christians want to help families in crisis, then they should provide support for keeping families intact, not taking the kids. Even state agencies consider removing children as a last resort after support services have failed. It's dominionist, predatory and disgusting.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Where exactly are these fundie foster care places getting the kids from? Most fundies are poor and beat their kids, in fact, it is pretty much the standard fundie life. What are the kids getting taken away from? Not beating their kids? Is this what happens to children when the headship dies and the wife doesnt want to get remarried? Have her give the kids to someone else for a bit until she can get another headship who doesnt mind "buying used goods"?

[SunnyAndrsn]

Where exactly are these fundie foster care places getting the kids from? Most fundies are poor and beat their kids, in fact, it is pretty much the standard fundie life. What are the kids getting taken away from? Not beating their kids? Is this what happens to children when the headship dies and the wife doesnt want to get remarried? Have her give the kids to someone else for a bit until she can get another headship who doesnt mind "buying used goods"?

That's the million dollar question, isn't it? Safe Families refers to their "foster" parents as volunteers. All foster parents are volunteers! The fact that she couldn't pass a regular homestudy--wouldn't even be considered but yet has two small, vulnerable children in her home less than a week after she signs up with Safe Families is disturbing. The reason none of the social workers would call her back is because they are trained to weed out wackos.

Any social worker worth their salt would have said no way to someone like her. How do you give a wounded child the time, love, and attention they need to heal with 11 other children in the home? Plus, she says in her "Unexpected Journey" series that her husband was gone for the first week. So one adult is a smart thing to do for 13 children when two of them have just been jerked out of their home?

Where are the interventions to help these children heal from whatever trauma caused them to be separated from their families in the first place? Not to mention needed help to assimilate to a new home, and the trauma of the actual separation?

I hesitate to call places like Safe Families foster care. It mis-represents what they are doing, as foster care implies oversight from qualified professionals, which include lawyers, GALs, and social workers to protect the parents and children. I just don't trust this program.

*DISCLAIMER* I realize the foster care system is far from perfect, and have first hand experience with their flaws. However, the point being that there is a lot more oversight than in Safe Families.

[teachergirl]

I just wanted to add that she is as scary as the rest of them. Although her children do get to participate in things like cross country, she also has an INSANE cleaning schedule for them as well as wacko ideas like not taking any state aid for college. So......even though her eldest is very bright at math, even if she wanted to go to a college she is not allowed to because she will never be "allowed" to have grants, loans or scholarships.

I like her too sometimes and then I remember she is like the rest of them.