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John Shrader's Menorah


GeoBQn

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In honor of his upcoming anniversary, John Shrader posted a picture of a 7-branched menorah with this explanation:

In less than one month my beloved and I will be celebrating our 12th Wedding Anniversary! Hard to believe it has been twelve years already! We got the seven branch Menorah directly from Israel, using it as our "Unity Candle." The problem we had with a traditional candle was that only the mothers have a part in lighting it. We handed out small rolled up parchment paper mini scrolls with a faux gold ring around them at our wedding to explain the Menorah. It was the center piece, placed on a pedestal. We used it to show and represent the Biblical principle of courtship (yes, the word itself does not appear in Scripture, the term there is "betrothal," which is a Jewish custom, but the principles of Scripture find a much more comfortable home in a properly done courtship than in modern "dating," which is less than 100 years old and has an abysmal failure rate among both professing Christians as well as unbelievers!) The scroll explained that since Jesus was a Jew, and we wanted to honor all our parents and show their important role as our authority in our courtship, we decided to use the Menorah. The outside two candles represented our fathers, who were our family heads, and the next two candles from the outside represented our mothers. To show that we were under their authority and had their complete blessing, the parents walked down the isle together and the father's lit their candles with lighters, then removed their candles and each father lit each mother's candle, then removed them and handed them to our mothers. Then, both sets of parents lit the third candle in from the outside, which represented Esther and I. They all placed their respective candles back in the Menorah at that point. Toward the end of the Wedding ceremony, Esther and I went to the Menorah, which had the six candles lit, and had been burning all through the ceremony thus far. Esther and I removed our candles, and together we lit the center candle, signifying that we were "leaving and cleaving," and then blew out the two candles and replaced them. It powerfully illustrated that passage as the three burning candles on each side were replaced by the two on each side, separated by the extinguished candles signifying the leaving, with the one lit candle isolated in the center signifying our union. It was a wonderful and powerful part of our special day!

That is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever read. For the record, Jews have not used the 7-branched menorah to display light since the destruction of the Temple. Today, it is made or depicted purely for symbolic purposes. Indeed, it was a symbol of the Jewish religion long before the Star of David. So basically, they are celebrating that Jesus was a Jew by completely misusing a Jewish symbol.

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I have several reactions to both that load of -- er, candle wax -- and your comment on it, GeoBQn.

1. I bet that, if you looked through Schrader's other writing, you could find an equal load of bullshit, if not a superior one. He's pretty dependable at producing it!

2. Besides being a load of shit, totally ignorant of anything Jewish or biblical, and really dumb, it was the most complicated candle choreography I've ever heard of. It's a good thing I wasn't at their wedding -- shit like that always makes me want to start singing one of those songs that describes the dance that goes with them.

Y'know, like Ballin' the Jack (First you put your two knees close up tight, then you swing 'em to the left, then you swing 'em to the right . . . ) or the Time Warp (It's just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right. Put your hands on your hips, you bring your knees in tight . . .) or even the Hokey Pokey!

3. John, you were not walking down a bit of land surrounded by water -- it's "aisle," not "isle."

And whether to use "I" or "me" is so easy, if you had a teacher who taught you this one trick -- take out the other person and see if it still sounds right.

This:

Then, both sets of parents lit the third candle in from the outside, which represented Esther and I

would have been so easy to avoid (well, unless you'd say "which represented I," which I wouldn't put past you).

I wouldn't be so picky, except that you are a blowhard who wants to father and educate dozens of children.

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I hope by lighters they don't mean Bic lighters because that would have been tacky as hell. And the mother's couldn't even light their own candles?

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I hope by lighters they don't mean Bic lighters because that would have been tacky as hell. And the mother's couldn't even light their own candles?

But...but...having the mothers do anything on their own would mean they were out from under the control of their headship! Plus, you know the wimminz could never figure out how those Bic lighters work and--just like the toddlers Shrader, et al, treat them as--they're likely to set something on fire. That Shrader, always looking out for the ladies. What a guy! (Insert puking smilie here)

Never mind that women have been lighting actual menorahs for centuries.

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2. Besides being a load of shit, totally ignorant of anything Jewish or biblical, and really dumb, it was the most complicated candle choreography I've ever heard of. It's a good thing I wasn't at their wedding -- shit like that always makes me want to start singing one of those songs that describes the dance that goes with them.

Y'know, like Ballin' the Jack (First you put your two knees close up tight, then you swing 'em to the left, then you swing 'em to the right . . . ) or the Time Warp (It's just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right. Put your hands on your hips, you bring your knees in tight . . .) or even the Hokey Pokey!

I have little patience for long, drawn out weddings with extra choreography like this. I think simpler is better, and even though my husband and I are both creative, we declined to write our own vows back in the 70s. We stuck to the basic short form script, omitted "obey" and had a nice short protestant wedding. It was a formality, as far as we were concerned, but it was not a variety show. So, when I got to weddings that include grown men in chicken suits in the wedding party (yes, I was there, I saw it) or cartwheels or acrobatics going up or down the aisle, or long, tedious sermons or homilies, etc., I wonder WTF are you trying to prove?

And your list of instructive dances made me think of The French Mistake, from the end of Blazing Saddles....

3. John, you were not walking down a bit of land surrounded by water -- it's "aisle," not "isle."

And whether to use "I" or "me" is so easy, if you had a teacher who taught you this one trick -- take out the other person and see if it still sounds right.

This:

would have been so easy to avoid (well, unless you'd say "which represented I," which I wouldn't put past you).

I wouldn't be so picky, except that you are a blowhard who wants to father and educate dozens of children.[/

quote]

The "me vs I" trick was taught in 3rd grade to people who were not homeschooled by illiterates. Homeschooling is not the problem, but the quality of the homeschooling.

And if he were only wanting to homeschool more illiterate children of his own, that would be bad enough-- but he plans to go enlighten Africa representing God and the USA. Can we send Zambia a disclaimer that he may not be the best representative of either?

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And your list of instructive dances made me think of The French Mistake, from the end of Blazing Saddles....

:lol:

Can't believe I forgot to list that one!

And if he were only wanting to homeschool more illiterate children of his own, that would be bad enough-- but he plans to go enlighten Africa representing God and the USA.

I forgot about that. :(

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I think he needs a large Douglas fir inserted into his anus.[/quote

His brother in law Pecan Davy might enjoy it and his other brother in law Smuggar might end up given one that way by some of his colleagues at FRC regardless of whether he'd enjoy it.

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:lol:

Can't believe I forgot to list that one!

I forgot about that. :(

David Waller would have to be featured dancer in The French Mistake.

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Looked at the picture on his FB and realized that Esther and I had pretty much the same wedding dress. :lol: The neck of mine was not that high though.

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I...can't even brain this one. If you don't like the unity candle tradition, just don't use a unity candle. You don't have to. Or you could just get a holder that displays multiple candles instead of misappropriating something from another culture. I'm not sure why this wouldn't have served their purposes just as well:

il_570xN.400740817_m3ru.jpg

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I have now decided to adopt a cross as a symbol of Judaism. I will make one out of wood, to resemble the tree of life. I will... fuck... I dont know... I just cant come up with something as offensive as the shit he comes up with.

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Here's a thought: he's Christian, right? How about, oh, I dunno, a crossI also don't with intertwined wedding rings on it? My The Spousal Unit and I had that, back when Oog was our ring-bearer (see Curious' post in J. Maxwell Rents to the 'Rents topic). I mean, menorahs are a Jewish symbol. The cross is a Christian symbol.

It's so easy ... until these goobers get involved...

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Well, once you get the Time Warp in your head, wandering around with thoughts about John Shrader stealing random symbols from other traditions, God sending the design for the menorah to Moses, and the fact that the original menorah was supposed to have been an olive oil lamp, not candles, this happens:

It's astounding,

How we're cheating,

Rituals which we stole.

Now listen closely,

Candle dancing is complex,

I've got to keep control.

I remember dreaming of candles

Napping, while in my den.

And then it just hit me,

Appropriation was calling,

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

First light the one on the left.

Then get the one on the right.

With your hands flick your Bic.

And keep the girls out of sight.

'Cause it's the men who must

Perform this inanity,

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

John supposes

That he’s Moses,

Striking poses,

He hears the call.

And it could be much worse, nu?

He could be lighting up EVOO

Rachel Ray's brand, from the mall.

With a nod to the Temple,

And old Aimee Semple,

We'll steal from Abel, or from Cain.

Maybe we'll wear tefillin,

Sing some plainchant, then Dylan,

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

Well I was walking down the street

Just a-doin' my part.

When that Shrader guy gave me an awful start.

Shirt with crescent and star, I can't forget it now,

He wore an ankh belt buckle and a bindi on his brow

Around his neck, on a big gold chain,

Was an onyx lingam, nearly lost my brain!

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

First light the one on the left.

Then get the one on the right.

With your hands flick your Bic.

And keep the girls out of sight.

'Cause it's the men who must

Perform this inanity

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

If you don't know the tune:

aizCMO-mI1Q

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Well, once you get the Time Warp in your head, wandering around with thoughts about John Shrader stealing random symbols from other traditions, God sending the design for the menorah to Moses, and the fact that the original menorah was supposed to have been an olive oil lamp, not candles, this happens:

It's astounding,

How we’re cheating,

Rituals which we stole.

Now listen closely,

Candle dancing is complex,

I've got to keep control.

I remember dreaming of candles

Napping, while in my den.

And then it just hit me,

Appropriation was calling,

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

First light the one on the left.

Then get the one on the right.

With your hands flick your Bic.

And keep the girls out of sight.

‘Cause it’s the men who must

Perform this inanity,

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

John supposes

That he’s Moses,

Striking poses,

He hears the call.

And it could be much worse, nu?

He could be lighting up EVOO

Rachel Ray’s brand, from the mall.

With a nod to the Temple,

And old Aimee Semple,

We’ll steal from Abel, or from Cain.

Maybe we’ll wear tefillin,

Sing some plainchant, then Dylan,

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

Well I was walking down the street

Just a-doin’ my part.

When that Shrader guy gave me an awful start.

Shirt with crescent and star, I can’t forget it now,

He wore an ankh belt buckle and a bindi on his brow

Around his neck, on a big gold chain,

Was an onyx lingam, nearly lost my brain!

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

First light the one on the left.

Then get the one on the right.

With your hands flick your Bic.

And keep the girls out of sight.

‘Cause it’s the men who must

Perform this inanity

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

If you don't know the tune:

aizCMO-mI1Q

:lol: :clap: :handgestures-thumbupleft: That made me laugh out loud. Great post, and thank you!

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Well, once you get the Time Warp in your head, wandering around with thoughts about John Shrader stealing random symbols from other traditions, God sending the design for the menorah to Moses, and the fact that the original menorah was supposed to have been an olive oil lamp, not candles, this happens:

It's astounding,

How we’re cheating,

Rituals which we stole.

Now listen closely,

Candle dancing is complex,

I've got to keep control.

I remember dreaming of candles

Napping, while in my den.

And then it just hit me,

Appropriation was calling,

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

First light the one on the left.

Then get the one on the right.

With your hands flick your Bic.

And keep the girls out of sight.

‘Cause it’s the men who must

Perform this inanity,

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

John supposes

That he’s Moses,

Striking poses,

He hears the call.

And it could be much worse, nu?

He could be lighting up EVOO

Rachel Ray’s brand, from the mall.

With a nod to the Temple,

And old Aimee Semple,

We’ll steal from Abel, or from Cain.

Maybe we’ll wear tefillin,

Sing some plainchant, then Dylan,

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

Well I was walking down the street

Just a-doin’ my part.

When that Shrader guy gave me an awful start.

Shirt with crescent and star, I can’t forget it now,

He wore an ankh belt buckle and a bindi on his brow

Around his neck, on a big gold chain,

Was an onyx lingam, nearly lost my brain!

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

First light the one on the left.

Then get the one on the right.

With your hands flick your Bic.

And keep the girls out of sight.

‘Cause it’s the men who must

Perform this inanity

Let's steal some symbols again!

Let's light the candles again!

If you don't know the tune:

aizCMO-mI1Q

I'm crying. This is the best parody ever.

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Poprox and Emme, glad I could entertain you.

I only wish the song was longer, so I could have John appropriate things from every religion and tradition on earth!

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It's very rare that I get offended by a fundie's interpretation of Jewish tradition.

Want to blow a shofar? Go ahead. Blast away.

Feel like celebrating Passover? The more the merrier. Have some horse radish.

Want to name your kids Hadassah and Boaz? Lovely, mazel tov.

But this. . . this actually hurts a bit. The menorah was a big deal in my family. It rested on our livingroom table, surrounded by photographs of our grandparents and relatives. We kids knew to respect it. We knew the story of why a menorah was important and we knew the blessing. We lit the candles once a year and told the story of the Maccabees. It was - and remains - a sacred object in our house.

To hear that a couple decided to make up their own story and use a menorah to act out their selfish interpretation of it. . . that is so wrong. I don't go around pretending the cross means anything other than what it does - the place Christ (and many others) was crucified. I respect its meaning to Christians - why can't they do the same with our few sacred Jewish objects?

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Prior to purchasing Judaica there needs to be a form you have to fill out. "Will you be misappropriating this for your Christian beliefs because you are a smug asshat who thinks the world is yours to manipulate" and then a rabbi needs to pop out and hit them over the head with an etrog or something.

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Prior to purchasing Judaica there needs to be a form you have to fill out. "Will you be misappropriating this for your Christian beliefs because you are a smug asshat who thinks the world is yours to manipulate" and then a rabbi needs to pop out and hit them over the head with an etrog or something.

Emme, an etrog should never be used for violence.

Besides, it would make their hair smell fabulous, which they don't deserve.

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