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salex

Does Larissa have a Baby Bump?

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salex

://prayforian.com/ Group picture of them all at Camp Maple Lake, she and Ian in the middle of the pic.

DSC_0517.jpg or if this doesn't work, on their website ://prayforian.com/

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ladyamylynn

It sure could be. It also could be a combination of poorly-fitting jeans and a flimsy t-shirt. I hope it's the latter, given the consent issues that others have brought up in regards to Ian and Larissa's sex life.

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littlemommy

Wow, it looks like one. Oh man. For me being pregnant is hard and very emotional. I can't even imagine being pregnant in her living situation.

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Enraged
NellieBell

It certainly looks like one. There's also the pic of her with the lantern with a noticeable (imo) bump.

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salex
Wow, it looks like one. Oh man. For me being pregnant is hard and very emotional. I can't even imagine being pregnant in her living situation.

That is me. In a way, they are my "pet" fundies because I find everything about them to behorrible and heartbreaking and tinged with dishonestly. I have no idea what they live on--just his disability in a room at his mother's house? Their book "might" make them some money if picked up by someplace like focus on the family-- but even successful books don't pay that many bills if you aren't Stephen King. .

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ThatSnark

Yeesh. I see it too, and she is typically very slender, so it shows. I thought her face looked fuller in the "we're going to the mountains" post but didn't give it much more thought. Looking back over the last few posts, there are babies/children in all of them. Even the bit about the wedding muses that the babies in bellies are now running around.

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wtylcf

I think it really does look like pregnancy weight gain. Larissa doesn't seem to have a history of weight fluctuations. If it is true, I can only imagine how stressful it will be to care for both an infant and a husband with severe disabilities. Maybe she's also thinking of it as a way of continuing Ian's legacy, by having a child who may symbolically "restore" the former Ian she misses because the child will possess some of his characteristics. Sigh.

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salex
I think it really does look like pregnancy weight gain. Larissa doesn't seem to have a history of weight fluctuations. If it is true, I can only imagine how stressful it will be to care for both an infant and a husband with severe disabilities. Maybe she's also thinking of it as a way of continuing Ian's legacy, by having a child who may symbolically "restore" the former Ian she misses because the child will possess some of his characteristics. Sigh.

Sounds like it could be the reasoning, though we are told often and always that he does not have as much diminished capacity as we think he does, and he'll be walking any minute, but one of his paintings.... I can never help but project myself into her life and I would never be where she was IF i had not been married before the accident. It feels/reads/appears to be a form of sati. And I doubt I could have done it. And my personality doesn't allow me to think "Wow, she is brave and wonderful to do that" as much as "wow, instead of just one life ruined, now we have two." Which is, I know, unkind as they both have the lives they have... but it is not one I would choose.

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OkToBeTakei

Sounds like it could be the reasoning, though we are told often and always that he does not have as much diminished capacity as we think he does, and he'll be walking any minute, but one of his paintings.... I can never help but project myself into her life and I would never be where she was IF i had not been married before the accident. It feels/reads/appears to be a form of sati. And I doubt I could have done it. And my personality doesn't allow me to think "Wow, she is brave and wonderful to do that" as much as "wow, instead of just one life ruined, now we have two." Which is, I know, unkind as they both have the lives they have... but it is not one I would choose.

Would it be awful to ask (bearing in mind this is all conjecture) if this man has capacity to consent to consensual sexual relations? By capacity I am talking the legal meaning?

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ladyamylynn

Acting as an emotional crutch/support for your mother because your father is emotionally unavailable is... not fun.

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Milly-Molly-Mandy

Well because I was so wrong about Jessa dugger courting I'm hesitant to disagree with the majority. But to me the bumps a little bit to low for such a skinny girl. I don't know if it's a pregnancy but could be the way she is standing. My mum has a sway back like that and gives her a bit of a tummy although she is very fit and very slim.

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Milly-Molly-Mandy

Also I don't know how I would feel if she was pregnant. Is this a good thing? Or is this a bad thing?

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salex
Also I don't know how I would feel if she was pregnant. Is this a good thing? Or is this a bad thing?

It is a "better her than me thing" ; 0

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Waffle Time
Mela99

Would it be awful to ask (bearing in mind this is all conjecture) if this man has capacity to consent to consensual sexual relations? By capacity I am talking the legal meaning?

This is a sticky area. I don't know much about the PA laws, but around here, you have to be able to make a "willful and knowing decision". But there is a lot on the books that flat out says a legally incapacitated individual is NOT capable of forming and giving consent for sex.

I don't know how much - if any - it would change since they're married.

I'm going to ask around. My probate professor might be able to tell me.

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TrueRebel1

I'm not familiar with Ian and Larissa. Is there a thread that explains who they are/their story???

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Morton Fan
I'm not familiar with Ian and Larissa. Is there a thread that explains who they are/their story???

Not sure about a thread, but in a nutshell, they were fundie-lites who were dating/courting and nearly engaged, when he was involved in a car accident. He suffered a traumatic brain injury and now functions at a child-like level. Larissa stayed with him and married him despite his injuries (perhaps due to pressure from Ian's father, who passed away shortly before they got engaged). They made a video about their story with John Piper that went kind of fundie-lite-viral.

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chaotic life

Ian's father was his legal guardian. In order for them to marry, not only did Ian's father push for it, but they had to get court approval for the marriage. Under that, I think you could argue there is legal consent for him to consent. On the other hand, Ian is disabled, and struggles to communicate. Larissa is now his legal guardian and therefore, legally you could argue it way violates consent laws for her to have sex with him.

For me, I ask myself how I would feel if the brain damaged of the pair was Larissa and Ian was vocal that he was having sex with his disabled, brain damaged wife. For *me* that immediately shows it to be inappropriate. However, I am not the law. I can only answer from my own moral code that I believe engaging in sex with Ian violates his ability because he lacks legal capacity TO consent. I believe if the genders were reversed, people would be calling for the head of a husband doing this.

That said, according to Larissa, they do have sex.

I'm not sure she's showing a baby bump. She's typically a very thin woman whose weight doesn't fluctuate. It could be a bump. But, I don't see it nearly as much in the close up with the lantern

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OkToBeTakei
Ian's father was his legal guardian. In order for them to marry, not only did Ian's father push for it, but they had to get court approval for the marriage. Under that, I think you could argue there is legal consent for him to consent. On the other hand, Ian is disabled, and struggles to communicate. Larissa is now his legal guardian and therefore, legally you could argue it way violates consent laws for her to have sex with him.

For me, I ask myself how I would feel if the brain damaged of the pair was Larissa and Ian was vocal that he was having sex with his disabled, brain damaged wife. For *me* that immediately shows it to be inappropriate. However, I am not the law. I can only answer from my own moral code that I believe engaging in sex with Ian violates his ability because he lacks legal capacity TO consent. I believe if the genders were reversed, people would be calling for the head of a husband doing this.

That said, according to Larissa, they do have sex.

I'm not sure she's showing a baby bump. She's typically a very thin woman whose weight doesn't fluctuate. It could be a bump. But, I don't see it nearly as much in the close up with the lantern

It is a very sad as others have said situation. But regarding capacity I find it possibly horrific. I know dementia patients who lack capacity who are capable.

That is scary Chaotic life but it would not surprise me.

Capacity is something that can be legalised in my country. It is difficult but is something I feel very strongly about. Same as DNA-CPR is this even a thing with off the radar fundies?

Religion should not even enter this equation.

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lilwriter85

I wouldn't be surprised if Larissa is pregnant. As another poster said, she mentioned wanting to have kids on the blog and she even mentioned adoption.

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Satisfied
church_of_dog
For me, I ask myself how I would feel if the brain damaged of the pair was Larissa and Ian was vocal that he was having sex with his disabled, brain damaged wife. For *me* that immediately shows it to be inappropriate. However, I am not the law. I can only answer from my own moral code that I believe engaging in sex with Ian violates his ability because he lacks legal capacity TO consent. I believe if the genders were reversed, people would be calling for the head of a husband doing this.

I can see there's a real dilemma in that situation. If the person isn't legally able to consent, then any sexual activity could be construed as "taking advantage" and legally inappropriate. On the other hand, if he's not able to consent EVER, for the rest of his life, then does that mean he never gets to have sexual experiences (that include other people)? It seems like there might be some point where it's deemed to be for his benefit or pleasure (as well as the other person's) rather than as a taking advantage. This same issue would come up for anyone who is sufficiently incapacitated or developmentally delayed to the point where they can't consent -- if it's not a condition they will grow out of/improve out of, then that "protection" ends up essentially precluding them from having partnered sex, ever. On the other hand the law can't lean too far in that direction without making it easier for people to actually take inappropriate advantage over others. Hmm...

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fun2beme

Not sure if she looks PG or not. I think her outfit in the group pic does not flatter her; the top of her pants look uncomfortably tight to me.

She is very pretty; I don't think I ever saw a pic of her before.

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louisa05

That is me. In a way, they are my "pet" fundies because I find everything about them to behorrible and heartbreaking and tinged with dishonestly. I have no idea what they live on--just his disability in a room at his mother's house? Their book "might" make them some money if picked up by someplace like focus on the family-- but even successful books don't pay that many bills if you aren't Stephen King. .

Larissa has a full time job, at least she did. Did that change?

I can't imagine the stress of caring for him and a child. Doesn't seem like a good idea, really.

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lilwriter85

Larissa has a full time job, at least she did. Did that change?

I can't imagine the stress of caring for him and a child. Doesn't seem like a good idea, really.

I might be wrong, but I believe she quit her job to focus on writing the book. I think Larissa could have saved up some money from her job and living with Ian's mother probably cuts down on some of their expenses.

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salex

Larissa has a full time job, at least she did. Did that change?

I can't imagine the stress of caring for him and a child. Doesn't seem like a good idea, really.

They moved from their rental house (that they may have shared with his brother , who was his 40 hour a week caregiver, and his brother's girlfriend (?), based on a few things I read in the summer of 2012 blog) after his brother moved to another state with said girl. They moved back into a "suite" at his parents (may or may not have a kitchen) that his parents built after his accident. I thought she had quit her job to write and speak, but I see nothing to prove that, so maybe I dreamed it up. Summer 2012 (june-August) has their move and brother moving.

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ThatSnark

From November 2012:

we're so blessed to be in such a generous relationship with our publisher. we're very grateful to the Lord for providing this avenue for us.

Which says to me that they got an advance on this book. I recall seeing something about her leaving her office job in order to become a full-time writer, maybe in comments? I wish I could remember. But between living with his mother, a publisher's advance, and disability, it would be comfortable enough.

Edited: I changed "his parents" to "his mother," because DUH. If his father were still living this thread might not even exist.

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