Making Great Conversationalists

[Jana814]

Steve is horrible!! Doing that to other people is soo wrong!!

[kpmom]

They're not allowed to joke around? Saying funny things is a sin?

Holy crap.

One of the ways they describe John in their "About Us" section, is something like, "He keeps us laughing all day long." So how exactly is he keeping them laughing if he's not joking around?

ETA: Here's the exact quote;

"John

John graduated in 2009 from the Maxwells' homeschool, and he is our in-house bus mechanic. He is currently employed in CCI. John keeps everyone laughing! He adds a lively lilt to the Maxwell's music with his banjo. John's desire is to build up and encourage young people in the Lord. He is a people person, and you will almost always find him talking to someone."

[sparkles]

I don't think I've ever come across a person who's as black-or-white as Steve Maxwell. There's absolutely no middle ground with him, no gray areas, just good or evil. You can be the kindest, most honest and ethical person alive, who thinks and does nothing but good, but if you aren't a Steve clone, you are EVIL.

How does one come to think like this? It's not a natural thought process by any means. He truly seems off the rails and he's a dangerous man. I think he's irreparably damaged his family but it does seem like very few people buy into his philosophy 100%, or if they do, most appear to back off as it becomes more apparent just how warped his thinking is. My one hope is that this all dies with him. I don't think even the surviving Maxwells will be able to sustain the narrow vision that Steve espouses, even though I can't see them abandoning it completely.

[Jana814]

They're not allowed to joke around? Saying funny things is a sin?

Holy crap.

Agree!! They r soo wrong. What the hell is wrong w/ joking!

[SquirrelySquirrel]

What in the hell are "idle words?" Does he give examples?

[VodouDoll]

Chitchat, I bet. Small talk. No conversation unless you're disclosing information, doing evangelism, or sharing your deep heart feelings.

[sparkles]

I would so love to be a fly on the wall for a day at Chez Maxwell, just to hear what passes for conversation among family members who share every single experience, 24/7/365. What can they possibly have to talk about? In normal families, each person has unique experiences as they go about their daily lives, even when events such as school, work and so forth repeat themselves. There's always something new that you can share. And then there are world and national events to discuss, entertainment and popular culture--all of which are completely outside of the Maxwell circle. No wonder they spend so much time memorizing verses and having Bible time. It's really the only thing they've got. I can't ever imagine a Maxwell starting a conversation with "Guess what happened today..."

[anjulibai]

I imagine that they narrate every aspect of their lives. You know, all the mundane things that you keep to yourself.

Like "My next chore is to vacuum. I will go take the vacuum out. Oh look, isn't it funny, I forgot to wind the cord all the way the last time and now it is tangled. This is going to take me some time to untangle. I will pull the end through this loop and now through this second loop."

"Oh, Sarah, what a funny thing to do! I am getting all of the ingredients out for the bean burritos. Here are the beans, and here are the onions. Look, here are the jalepino peppers, what a pretty shade of green! I just love that God created green! It's such a beautiful color, isn't it?"

"Why yes, Anna, green is so beautiful! Praise Jesus for all the colors. I'm editing some pictures I took in Photoshop. I want to make the colors look as vibrant as if we were there! I think I'll adjust the contrast on this picture. Now I'm going to crop it, because I think it will look nicer that way."

"That's interesting, John. You're so great at those projects. I'm going to sew new matching skirts for the little girls. They will be a nice blue plaid. Now I am cutting the fabric out. I think I will also make a tie for Joshua to match. They will look so cute in pictures together. The thread in the sewing machine needs to be changed to a different color to match, so I'm going to do that. I think if I have enough fabric I might make little matching Bible covers for them. Won't that be adorable?"

"What a blessing you are, Mary, to do that! I'm....."

And so on and so on.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I would so love to be a fly on the wall for a day at Chez Maxwell, just to hear what passes for conversation among family members who share every single experience, 24/7/365. What can they possibly have to talk about? In normal families, each person has unique experiences as they go about their daily lives, even when events such as school, work and so forth repeat themselves. There's always something new that you can share. And then there are world and national events to discuss, entertainment and popular culture--all of which are completely outside of the Maxwell circle. No wonder they spend so much time memorizing verses and having Bible time. It's really the only thing they've got. I can't ever imagine a Maxwell starting a conversation with "Guess what happened today..."

I can imagine them all to be totally silent most of the time, the only conversation they probably have is "Sarah, will you please pass the potatoes. Do you remember where you will be going when you die?" "Yes, of course I will Mary. We are going to Heaven and all the sinners are going to Hell".

Or on their vacations. "What a wonderful view, what a blessing that God made it" "Yes, it is beautiful. We are going to die one day."

There is nothing else to talk about, they spend every day together and dont have hobbies, friends or a social life, and dont even read books, watch TV or movies or listen to music, even Christian stuff. They cant discuss world events or pop culture as they dont watch the news or buy magazines or newspapers. They cant even discuss politics or religion or any other contraversial issues because they are not allowed to have any opinions other than the ones Steve agrees with.

[Jana814]

I would so love to be a fly on the wall for a day at Chez Maxwell, just to hear what passes for conversation among family members who share every single experience, 24/7/365. What can they possibly have to talk about? In normal families, each person has unique experiences as they go about their daily lives, even when events such as school, work and so forth repeat themselves. There's always something new that you can share. And then there are world and national events to discuss, entertainment and popular culture--all of which are completely outside of the Maxwell circle. No wonder they spend so much time memorizing verses and having Bible time. It's really the only thing they've got. I can't ever imagine a Maxwell starting a conversation with "Guess what happened today..."

Same here!! I could never be a Maxwell. I love to watch TV & I go to bed late & get up @ 8:30.

[Many_Spaynes]

We should eliminate "idle" words from our conversation. According to Steve, we should eliminate every useless word . . . . There is a two and a half page explanation as to why joking is bad. .

Maybe Steve should read his own advice & edit accordingly

[cindyluvs24]

Sorry, I missed a bit in the middle of the quote.

For example, "If you give me that, I'll burn it" Someone else might say "No way".

I imagine they get a lot worse than this but this is what they thought was acceptable for the book.

It reminded me of a documentary I saw on over-enthusiastic Christians. Kids were handing out bible tracts. They handed them to a couple of African-American men and asked if they knew where they were going when they died. The men answered "Yes. We're going to heaven." The kids were stunned - no idea how to answer. Eventually the eldest muttered something about them being Muslims and walking away. I thought it was really sad that someone would send kids out evangelising without preparing them for (1) the fact that some people are already Christian (2) you can't tell who is Christian by their appearance and (3) some people are going to be rude.

It was the doc "Jesus Camp"

[cindyluvs24]

The way they have to turn every conversation to their religion reminds me of when my son was 3 and every conversation with him was about train engines and subway routes.

[Jana814]

The way they have to turn every conversation to their religion reminds me of when my son was 3 and every conversation with him was about train engines and subway routes.

The difference is your son was 3 & that is what expect from a child. Steve is a grown "man" & people don't expect that from a grown man.

[Many_Spaynes]

The way they have to turn every conversation to their religion reminds me of when my son was 3 and every conversation with him was about train engines and subway routes.

This is hilarious! Now I'm imagining Steve & co preaching like toddlers, combining monomaniacal, breathless monologue with the ability to be distracted by just about anything -- dare I say Pepsi?

[Black Aliss]

I've actually been taught, (due to my Asperger's syndrome) by speech therapists, etc, how to make conversation. The lessons I was taught do not resemble in any way what this book represents. The main thing I got out of the lessons was that I'm not supposed to offend people, that I should be nice and respectful of all people. Making eye contact is very difficult for me, but I should try as much as I can and most people will meet me halfway. Also, I should never discuss religion, sex or politics unless I was with friends. As I understand it most people picked these lessons up naturally from society. Why didn't Steve? Why do society's rules not apply to him?

He didn't pick them up naturally from society because has Asperger's syndrome and he was never taught?

[ILoveJellybeans]

He didn't pick them up naturally from society because has Asperger's syndrome and he was never taught?

I have never thought of this before......but that makes a lot of sense.

I have Aspergers as well, diagnosed about 6 months ago. I have not ever tried to schedule my day into 15 minute blocks, but I do have a fairly strict routine that I really dont like breaking-although mine has more fun. Steve is very routine obsessed, you have to be to even try scheduling things in 15 minute blocks and obsessively do the same thing every day in the way the Maxwells have. He really really likes it to be strict and things to be in black and white, and loves all these little rules about life that somehow prevent him from going to Hell (Ive often thought that this is probably how organised religion started in the first place). I guess strict religion could be super appealing because it makes the way society works be so simple-everything and everyone is either good or evil.

Although I think there are a lot of fundies who would probably be diagnosable with various things. There are a lot of threads where it has come up that the fundie's behaviour and thinking could possibly be red flags for different diagnosises. Like Michael Pearl possibly being a sociopath, or Michelle/Jimbob/Lauren/Raquel possibly being narcissists.

[HoneyBunny]

I can see why these people are self-emloyed. Can you imagine them in a job interview?

[thoughtful]

I can see why these people are self-emloyed. Can you imagine them in a job interview?

Potential employer: "What is your greatest asset?"

Steve: "I am Godly -- Godlier than God."

Potential employer: "What is your biggest flaw?"

Steve: "Um . . . .I have none."

Potential employer: "What can you offer the McGillicutty Widget Corporation?"

Steve: "I can make sure everyone has their children's hearts, and prevent them from going to Hell when they die. I don't know anything about designing, making or selling widgets, but you must hire me because I am Godly."

[johnhugh]

Stevie, RE laughing...

Did you, the reversals and Poor Sarah jest at or where jesting with Teri when she ate the cheese paper?

Something to think about?

[Odd1Out]

Maybe a little joking and laughing is okay within the family unit but not while preaching at, I mean, conversing with others.

[gustava]

I have never thought of this before......but that makes a lot of sense.

I have Aspergers as well, diagnosed about 6 months ago. I have not ever tried to schedule my day into 15 minute blocks, but I do have a fairly strict routine that I really dont like breaking-although mine has more fun. Steve is very routine obsessed, you have to be to even try scheduling things in 15 minute blocks and obsessively do the same thing every day in the way the Maxwells have. He really really likes it to be strict and things to be in black and white, and loves all these little rules about life that somehow prevent him from going to Hell (Ive often thought that this is probably how organised religion started in the first place). I guess strict religion could be super appealing because it makes the way society works be so simple-everything and everyone is either good or evil.

Although I think there are a lot of fundies who would probably be diagnosable with various things. There are a lot of threads where it has come up that the fundie's behaviour and thinking could possibly be red flags for different diagnosises. Like Michael Pearl possibly being a sociopath, or Michelle/Jimbob/Lauren/Raquel possibly being narcissists.

Steve is a control freak, not an Aspie. Aspies learn social cues. Stevehovah doesn't want to.

[Queen Of Hearts]

I imagine that they narrate every aspect of their lives. You know, all the mundane things that you keep to yourself.

Like "My next chore is to vacuum. I will go take the vacuum out. Oh look, isn't it (is it not) funny, I forgot to wind the cord all the way the last time and now it is tangled. This is going to take me some time to untangle. I will pull the end through this loop and now through this second loop."

"Oh, Sarah, what a funny thing to do! I am getting all of the ingredients out for the bean burritos. Here are the beans, and here are the onions. Look, here are the jalepino peppers, what a pretty shade of green! I just love that God created green! It's (It is) such a beautiful color, isn't it (is it not)?"

"Why yes, Anna, green is so beautiful! Praise Jesus for all the colors. I'm (I am) editing some pictures I took in Photoshop. I want to make the colors look as vibrant as if we were there! I think I'll adjust the contrast on this picture. Now I'm (I am) going to crop it, because I think it will look nicer that way."

"That's (That is) interesting, John. You're so great at those projects. I'm going to sew new matching skirts for the little girls. They will be a nice blue plaid. Now I am cutting the fabric out. I think I will also make a tie for Joshua to match. They will look so cute in pictures together. The thread in the sewing machine needs to be changed to a different color to match, so I'm (I am) going to do that. I think if I have enough fabric I might make little matching Bible covers for them. Won't (Will not) that be adorable?"

"What a blessing you are, Mary, to do that! I'm (I am)....."

And so on and so on.

This is brilliant. i just made some minor edits for you to make it more authentic Maxhell-speak... you know contractions are apparently not allowed based on the sample conversations in their book. :lol:

[thoughtful]

This is brilliant. i just made some minor edits for you to make it more authentic Maxhell-speak... you know contractions are apparently not allowed based on the sample conversations in their book. :lol:

:lol:

Hey, if Data can slip up now and then, why not the Maxwells?

yY1KdQNodN0

[anjulibai]

LOL, awesome edits!

Honestly, I bet they talk a lot, they just don't know how to really discuss anything. It's all descriptive, and not very good descriptive.