Friend of Abigail's Miracle/ Insert Yourself into the Bible

[singsingsing]

I've been reading Bonnie for quite awhile. She seems like a very nice and sincere person. She also seems terribly depressed and trapped in a prison of her own making. Its like she has painted herself into a corner with the whole no birth control thing. I just don't understand the whole "nfp is awesome!!!" trend in fundie Catholic blogging. They are all these young single or newlywed women and I can't help but think, "ya, you think its all great now, just wait until you have 4 or 5 kids in quick succession." Bonnie is the postergirl for what happens to a woman who has 5 kids in quick succession. Christy from Fountains of Home is another one. Sooo overwhelmed, so depressed, yet sooo dedicated to the Theology of the Body (no birth control, no masturbation, the sexual act has to 'complete' with penis in the vagina). I mean, even before birth control devices were invented men would pull-out, couples would engage in frottage, oral sex, etc. There are so many things they could do that would lesson their chances for pregnancy and would entail no birth control devices AT ALL. But no, gotta be martyrs to a philosophy. At least Bonnie isn't homeschooling too, I will give her that. So many of the fundie Catholic bloggers think Catholic school isn't Catholic enough. Bonnie's oldest is at Catholic school and James goes to special education preschool through the local school district.

For the posters who know her, I'm interested in how she came to convert.

I've been reading her blog for a while as well and I totally agree with your assessment. I never wanted to share her blog here because she did seem so nice and sincere, but someone else did eventually, and she has really gone over the verge into ridiculous behaviour and thought patterns. It's really easy to preach the wonders of NFP when you've had one baby and everything is going great. That's not her reality now.

She's clearly not happy. She's clearly afraid. Her relationship with her husband is suffering. But she will. not. relent. And we saw upthread how 'nice' and 'sincere' she was when replying to that comment where someone tried to (kindly) encourage her and was genuinely concerned for her. At this point she's not worshiping God, she's worshiping at the altar of NFP and it's ruining her life. I think she got married seven or eight years ago and was about 25 when she got married, so she's only in her early thirties and has many years of fertility left ahead of her. She is a very fertile woman for whom NFP does not work. Her only choices are more pregnancies or abstaining completely from sex with her husband. There is no way she's not miserable.

Bonnie is one who makes me want to cry and scream in frustration at the same time, and then pray fervently that the Pope suddenly decides to tell women that it's okay to use birth control, but even then I think some of them would refuse just to be martyrs. Now Jen Fulwiler just makes me want to scream, because she's so blase about having an extremely dangerous medical condition MADE WORSE BY PREGNANCY that could leave her young children motherless. She seriously treats it like a joke. It's awful.

/rant over

[LaLele]

She converted in her 20's. I think it was partly due to her husband, partly due to a co-worker, and partly because the catholic community was one of the more active religious communities in the small town she lives near. Once she converted, though, she went whole hog in. I know she has a local mentor who is also an adult convert and they kind of feed off each other's fundi-ism.

I feel sorry for her, but then again, it is hard for me because I know all her problems are her own doing. It is not like she is forced into the life she leads. She has some non-fundie friends, access and ties to normal support systems, but chooses to keep popping out babies for God. She honestly is fairly smart, so it is frustrating that she can't see what she is doing to herself.

[singsingsing]

I didn't realize Bonnie was a convert. I thought she was a cradle Catholic. But that makes sense. How many of the fundie-ish Catholic bloggers can you think of who aren't converts? Jen Fulwiler is a convert. Abigail Benjamin is a convert. That 'Barefoot and Pregnant' woman is a convert. Simcha Fisher's family (of birth) converted to Catholicism from Judaism, I believe. Elizabeth Esther escaped fundamentalism but converted to Catholicism, so she's a (admittedly not fundie) convert.

[yetanothermeg]

I also read Camp Patton. Her parents were converts (her dh is in training to be a no-bc-prescribing ob/gyn). She will have 4 under 4 when the next baby is born. Have also read 11 On My Own, also a convert. Like Reading Carrots for Michaelmas (hipster, urban homesteader convert).

The only one I can think of who isn't a convert is Catholic All Year. Just had her 7th baby, homeschools (the kids wear homeschool uniforms), "lives the liturgical year" at home, etc.

[Marianne]

I also read Camp Patton. Her parents were converts (her dh is in training to be a no-bc-prescribing ob/gyn). She will have 4 under 4 when the next baby is born. Have also read 11 On My Own, also a convert. Like Reading Carrots for Michaelmas (hipster, urban homesteader convert).

The only one I can think of who isn't a convert is Catholic All Year. Just had her 7th baby, homeschools (the kids wear homeschool uniforms), "lives the liturgical year" at home, etc.

Shower of Roses (who have also catholic cuisine blog) is not a convert also. 7 children, homeschool, lot of liturgical year, latin mass, etc...

[singsingsing]

Looks like James (the miracle baby) is in the hospital now. He had a seizure. :( I really hope everything turns out okay.

[quincygal]

Hey, who was the Catholic blogger who wore the "birth control is for sissies" shirt when she was really pregnant with like #4 or #5 & thought she got mean looks in a department store or something when she went to buy a bra? Which gal was that?

[yetanothermeg]

Hey, who was the Catholic blogger who wore the "birth control is for sissies" shirt when she was really pregnant with like #4 or #5 & thought she got mean looks in a department store or something when she went to buy a bra? Which gal was that?

That was Calah from Barefoot and Pregnant. She was my gateway into fundie Catholic blogs. Like I needed another rabbit hole to fall down. Anyway, she was pregnant with her 4th kid. She has become kind of boring lately. She lives in Ave Maria, FL, the "Catholic" town built by the pizza fortune guy. Her husband is a professor at Ave Maria University. They had the first kid out of wedlock, then she converted. They met at the University of Dallas, which is a very conservative Catholic college, although she was not Catholic at the time.

Someone I found through her (also a convert) is Dwija from House Unseen, Life Unscripted. Dwija was raised as a Hare Krishna but converted to Catholicism also while at University of Dallas.

Many of the Catholic bloggers are alumni of University of Dallas or Franciscan University of Steubenville. I became fascinated by these women because I was offered a scholarship to University of Dallas (and I hadn't even applied! it was based on my psats) and I went on a weekend retreat with students from Steubenville. I was very spiritual as a high school student. Reading these blogs is like glimpsing my life if I had gone a different way instead of to the liberal, public university I attended.

[singsingsing]

Are you sure Bonnie is a convert...? I just found her bio at 'Ignitum Today' and it says she is a cradle Catholic. Maybe she just became more zealous as an adult?

[LaLele]

Are you sure Bonnie is a convert...? I just found her bio at 'Ignitum Today' and it says she is a cradle Catholic. Maybe she just became more zealous as an adult?

It is definitely possible. I was basing my comment on how I knew her in college/first job (which was at the college.) She was always at Campus Crusade for Christ events (which was a protestant group) so I had assumed that was her belief system. It is entirely possible she was born Catholic, attended Protestant things in college, but then went back to Catholicism with fervor once she got married. Honestly, in college she was so normal, if I hadn't seen her out with the church group I wouldn't have pinned any religion on her.

[singsingsing]

It is definitely possible. I was basing my comment on how I knew her in college/first job (which was at the college.) She was always at Campus Crusade for Christ events (which was a protestant group) so I had assumed that was her belief system. It is entirely possible she was born Catholic, attended Protestant things in college, but then went back to Catholicism with fervor once she got married. Honestly, in college she was so normal, if I hadn't seen her out with the church group I wouldn't have pinned any religion on her.

She still does seem very normal, if you put aside all the in-your-face super-Catholic stuff. I think maybe that's why her story bothers me so much. I see this pretty down-to-earth, intelligent young woman with a lot of life and spark, who clearly loves her husband and her children very much, and she's torturing herself. She's so invested in NFP and being a perfect Catholic that she's painted herself into a corner. I'm sure it's even worse given that she's proclaimed all birth control to be evil on her blog numerous times.

[quincygal]

That was Calah from Barefoot and Pregnant. She was my gateway into fundie Catholic blogs. Like I needed another rabbit hole to fall down. Anyway, she was pregnant with her 4th kid. She has become kind of boring lately. She lives in Ave Maria, FL, the "Catholic" town built by the pizza fortune guy. Her husband is a professor at Ave Maria University. They had the first kid out of wedlock, then she converted. They met at the University of Dallas, which is a very conservative Catholic college, although she was not Catholic at the time.

Someone I found through her (also a convert) is Dwija from House Unseen, Life Unscripted. Dwija was raised as a Hare Krishna but converted to Catholicism also while at University of Dallas.

Many of the Catholic bloggers are alumni of University of Dallas or Franciscan University of Steubenville. I became fascinated by these women because I was offered a scholarship to University of Dallas (and I hadn't even applied! it was based on my psats) and I went on a weekend retreat with students from Steubenville. I was very spiritual as a high school student. Reading these blogs is like glimpsing my life if I had gone a different way instead of to the liberal, public university I attended.

Sweet! Thank you!

[CindyLou]

James was my 4th pregnancy in 3 years. His conception was improbable and so Travis and I felt certain that God wanted this baby for a reason. My pregnancy was healthy with only moderate gestational diabetes which I kept under control through diet and exercise. He was a planned home birth, as my other two children had both been born at home and baby and I both were healthy. My labor with James was a relatively easy 8 hours and he had a strong, healthy heartbeat the entire time. However, fetal heart monitoring stopped while I was pushing, and it was probably during that time the true knot in his umbilical cord tightened. He was delivered at 1:48am on September 16, 2010 a stillborn.

So "god" gets the glory rather than the EMTs, doctors, and NICU staff and technology? Does she also give "god" the credit for her midwife's negligence?

She's very lucky he is alive at all. That is an extremely long time to be resuscitated.