16 annoying House Hunters cliches

[AuntCloud]

These are spot-on, but the accompanying gifs are the hilarious.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/gabbynoone/the- ... unters-say

[Mela99]

I friggin love this show.

Right after Property Brothers. Scott brothers = the first horny teenager crush I've had since high school.

[clicker dies]

This has been a running joke with my friends and family for a long time. Let's see if i can name them without actually reading the article first:

1. open concept for the kids and entertaining

2. updated everything - kitchen, bathrooms, bedrooms, ceiling, roof, driveway, etc

3. stainless steel appliances

4. granite countertops

5. huge-ass closet that will invariably not fit all of their fucking clothes

6. hardwood floors

7. preferably in the same neighborhood (or maybe that's just a love it or list it thing)

8. huge floor plan but over budget

9. dual sinks

10. move in ready

11. private yard

12. neutral paint or bust

13. some kind of man room

okay this is really hard, how'd I do?

Oh, it was quotes! But I didn't do half bad, if I say so myself. I swear this show should be made into a drinking game

edited for a typo

[Kira]

These are spot-on, but the accompanying gifs are the hilarious.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/gabbynoone/the- ... unters-say

#13 is the oddest complaint. I always thin they must be serial killers!

[happy atheist]

The paint complaint is the one that bugs me the most because it's the easiest thing to change.

[AuntCloud]

Ding ding ding! Clicker dies, you are spot on. And let's not forget the "is this the master bedroom?" *walking int a nice room* "it's kinda small..." *realtor screams, head-dives through window*

Things I have managed to change in my house without too much money or know-how: paint, baseboards, faucets, light fixtures, window treatments. I love my white appliances and live quite happily with non-granite countertops. Bu that wouldn't make good tv, would it?

[PennySycamore]

I'll have to show this to my daughter. She's a Realtor and she'd visiting this weekend.

I hate how the buyers always want an updated kitchen and bath and they just can't live with with anything other than granite countertops and stainless steel appliances, or heaven forbid!, a pink bathroom! even if what they have in the is fully functional or charming. I have even seen a few couples bemoan that the countertops that were Corian, for pete's sake. (These people need to get a load of my Formica.)

I hate how so many buyers on HH and on Property Virgins and My First Place don't have any concept of a starter home. If you don't have any kids, you don't need a 5 bedroom/5 bath house! They'd just have a fit living in the house I grew up in. I don't know the square footage (maybe a little less than 1500) with only three bedrooms and 1 bath. Yes, may sister and I had to share a bedroom and we survived! The house is a brick ranch, btw.

What I hate more than the canned real estate shows is how they have come to predominate the HGTV schedule and most of the design shows are gone or shown only occasionally. I have to check the morning schedule to see when they'll be on now. There are show that are just gone from the schedule, too, like that show that came on in the early mornings about the histories of old houses. It was cool to see what people found out about their treasured old homes.

ETA: I did see a episode of House Hunters Renovations one afternoon this week that was nice. It featured a gay couple in LA currently renting in Chinatown that sought to buy their first home. They looked at two homes in Eagle Rock and one in Silver Lake. They bought a Craftman bungalow in Eagle Rock and renovated the kitchen. The renovation really respected the Craftsman nature of the house. What was equally notable was when the realtor mentioned that a room would make a great "man cave" that the guys would say that they didn't need one. One of the guys even mentioned that the "man cave" space would be a great place for his sewing machines. More pf then than not, the gay couples tend to get it. That includes the lesbian couple that bought a mid-century modern home outside Oakland. They were thrilled to find a authentic Eames chair in the house.

[Maggie Mae]

I find those shows both entertaining and infuriating. I think I would like it if they would at least try to find some middle/lower middle income people to be on the show. People who are looking for a safe home that they can afford, with decent schools, who have to make some sacrifices.

Also I found out recently from someone approached to be on the show that they have already bought the house they "choose."

[keen23]

I find those shows both entertaining and infuriating. I think I would like it if they would at least try to find some middle/lower middle income people to be on the show. People who are looking for a safe home that they can afford, with decent schools, who have to make some sacrifices.

Also I found out recently from someone approached to be on the show that they have already bought the house they "choose."

Oh yeah, the show is totally staged. The buyers already have to have a house under contract to be on the show.

[RandomTrivia]

The paint complaint is the one that bugs me the most because it's the easiest thing to change.

I had to quit watching the real-estate shows (Hubby was hooked on the house-flipping shows for a while) - every time they'd turn down a perfectly good house because the walls were the wrong color, it made my head hurt. Probably had something to do with the fact that we house-hunted for 5 years before we found something, and paint color wasn't even in my top twenty requirements. :) I just wanted more windows and a yard. (yeah, I know now that they'd already bought one of the houses, and had to come up with some reason to reject the others, but really, put a little more effort into your excuses, huh?)

The one that most annoyed me was one where they took people back to a house after they sold it, to see what the new owners had changed - with the hidden hope for "drama" over things like "OMG they changed the paint color/landscaping/whatever." I never watched an episode, but every time I saw a commercial for it, I wanted to yell at the idiots that it wasn't their house anymore, so what do they care what's happened to it? We sold our condo, and after the check cleared, I officially quit giving a damn about it. They can tear it down or paint it fuchsia - not my property, not my problem.

[linnea27]

The people who piss me off the most usually complain about bathroom.size. I'm sorry, is it common for people to host dinner parties in their ensuite bath?

eta: and somehiw I forgot my biggest pet peeve: the 20 year old couples in low COL areas who complain that the 3000 square foot new build brick house on an acre lot for $150k is just too small for the two of them. I have had to turn off my tv rather than watch those episodes because I am often afraid I will end up throwing something at my tv.

[O Latin]

Oh, I love to hate this show. I have never bought a house and it will probably be many, many years before I do so, but I just cannot imagine myself ever being as picky as some of the people on this show. When I was apartment hunting I was just like, "Hmm, yep, it has rooms and a door, cool. Where do I sign?" I was thrilled to pieces that the place I chose has a dishwasher (I never minded washing dishes at my old place, but now, oh, my, the dishwasher is the greatest thing to have ever been invented).

I always love it when the couple gets shown an older home that doesn't have a giant ass walk-in closet and they just cannot imagine where on earth they will possibly keep their clothes. My apartment, my entire apartment, has exactly one (1) closet that contains shoes, winter coats and boots, cleaning supplies, an ironing board and a clothes drying rack, spare sheets and blankets, Christmas decorations, suitcases, and assorted other things. I keep my clothes in this mysterious contraption called a dresser. Now, by all accounts I have a lot of clothes, but even if I was married to someone with an equal amount of clothing, we would not come close to needing a closet big enough to park a car in.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I like Property Virgins better, because it's not so staged. Unless HGTV decides to muck up the concept, you really don't know at the beginning of an episode how many houses the new buyer will view, and some don't end up buying at all. The agents also get real with the new buyers.

I haven't seen it recently, but Buy Me! actually had me terrified. Yes, I know the real estate market is slower in Montreal, but some of those homes would just sit for months while the sellers slowly went bonkers.

With our first home, I decided to be cheap and practical, and went for Formica counters and white appliances. I pictured being in the house until my kids were through high school, but we ended up moving after 4.5 years. Every single potential buyer looked at the kitchen, and mentally started to figure out how much it would cost to replace the counters, appliances and floor. There was no value in my white appliances, esp. since the house values in the area had increased and it was no longer the place for cheap starter homes (we bought the house new, when it was still in a mud puddle, and sold it when it was a more established area with schools and parks and amenities).

So, when it came to our current house, we were smarter. We bought a home with an ideal location and a good basic floor plan, that showed horribly, and got it cheap. Stained carpets, hideous paint colors, scratched up floors and counters, you name it. We then renovated everything in one shot (it helped that FIL is a semi-retired builder). Since the old stuff was hideous, I didn't feel guilty about gutting so much of it, and we got to put in things that we liked. Even though I tend to be cheap, I put in the granite and stainless and fixed the bathrooms, because those are selling features and I figured that we'd likely get much of the money back if we sold.

[PennySycamore]

2xx1xy1JD, I had to laugh when I read your post because GE just brought out a new line of appliances that are not stainless steel, but are white and black and somewhat retro. The range even has an analog clock! That's smart, because it will last longer than all that digital stuff will. Whirlpool, I believe, has recently brought out a line of appliances in Ice White and colored ranges are pretty hot if you're got a lot to spend. I was just looking at the prices of countertop materials in a Better Homes and Gardens and granite and solid-surface countertops are about the same price. I've seen idiots on House Hunters that didn't like the Corian counters in a house because they weren't granite.

Btw, Martin Lawrence-Bullard, interior designer from Million Dollar Decorator, lives in Gloria Swanson's old home in Beverley Hills complete with her old range in the kitchen. It's wonderful to see him loving this old home.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I'd be nervous about colored appliances or brightly colored cabinets (a neighbor had orange ones in a modern Euro style), because you don't want to be too trendy with something that needs to last, and color preference is very personal. It's easier to get that shot of blue or orange with accessories.

[AnywhereButHere]

The paint complaint is the one that bugs me the most because it's the easiest thing to change.

You would think, wouldn't you. Unless of course you live with my husband who always tells me not to hire someone to paint because he "can do it himself, damnit". And he can, he does a great job. He just either doesn't have the time, or he doesn't want to start it because then he'd be finished and then worry that he has nothing to do. Eight years in, and my hallway, ceilings and one bedroom still aren't painted. I just feel like shaking him, and saying "DUDE! As soon as you finish all of this, I promise, we'll find something for you to do. Basement demo maybe? You won't run out of projects!" I do not paint. I loathe it and do a horrible job (chicken and egg thing - not sure which came first), so I won't do it. :D

But yeah, there are so many times I would just love to yell at the buyers on HH, and tell them to stop being such spoiled little angels. If they wanted something all their taste right off the bat, they should have built.

[DrPusey]

For the domestic version, I'd add the cliche that a lot of buyers are scared of unfinished basements and will inevitably make a serial killer joke.

For the international version, every damn time an American couple is looking to buy in Europe, they are freaked out by how little space in general their money can buy. Granted, I love my space and would have a bit of trouble living in Europe or parts of Asia for that reason. But Americans on HH International always seem to take it as a personal affront that they can't rent a 4 bedroom apartment in Paris for cheap. :pink-shock:

(edited to fix typos)

[happy atheist]

The international HHers also always bitch about not having an American size refrigerator.

And if the washing machine is in the kitchen, that is a fate worse than death.

[2xx1xy1JD]

The international HHers also always bitch about not having an American size refrigerator.

And if the washing machine is in the kitchen, that is a fate worse than death.

That always makes me laugh! Seriously, it's really not a big deal - it's not like the dirt somehow jumps onto the food.

[AuntCloud]

Today's HH: a single mom from Brooklyn moving back with her baby daughter to be closer to her family in Louisville, KY. Her budget was $300K, which can buy a decent-sized house in KY, although I was surprised that it didn't buy more. Of course she went over budget and ended up buying a 2,900 sqft McMansion for her and the baby. She passed up a gorgeous older home full of character, which she originally said was one for her "must-haves", and was under budget, because the bathroom with the bathtub was downstairs, and there was only a bathroom with a shower upstairs :angry-banghead: I guess she didn't read the memo that babies eventually grow up, and some of my best friends have washed babies in shower stalls using an ingenious invention called a baby pool.

[PennySycamore]

Today's HH: a single mom from Brooklyn moving back with her baby daughter to be closer to her family in Louisville, KY. Her budget was $300K, which can buy a decent-sized house in KY, although I was surprised that it didn't buy more. Of course she went over budget and ended up buying a 2,900 sqft McMansion for her and the baby. She passed up a gorgeous older home full of character, which she originally said was one for her "must-haves", and was under budget, because the bathroom with the bathtub was downstairs, and there was only a bathroom with a shower upstairs :angry-banghead: I guess she didn't read the memo that babies eventually grow up, and some of my best friends have washed babies in shower stalls using an ingenious invention called a baby pool.

Someone needed to acquaint this mom with that idea or even using shower sling in the shower and both mom and baby showering at the same time.

[Lissa1481]

I can't watch that show any more. They're all so spoiled. When we bought our house, we just wanted out of our ghetto apartment complex so our kids could actually go outside. Our kids share rooms and they survive. No granite anything. Hardwood floors, yes, but all the houses here have wood floors. We finished our own basement. And where do these people get so much money in the first place?

Stainless steel is over rated. It doesn't stay clean.

[PennySycamore]

I was just hanging out at the HGTV boards. You would not believe how much people HATE the House Hunter shows, Love It or List It and the rest of the real estate shows and wish that HGTV would again start airing design shows and gardening shows. In other words, they need to go back to the kind of programming that they used to have. I need to write an actual letter to TPTB at HGTV.

I can't believe that so many of these young couple have no idea of a starter home. Couples with no kids want a five bedroom house? Why? They've got to have TWO walk-in closets in the master "suite". The buyer that doesn't demand that is rather refreshing to see.

Penny -who lives in a 50 year old brick 3 BR/2BA ranch with no walk-in closets

[Mela99]

I was just hanging out at the HGTV boards. You would not believe how much people HATE the House Hunter shows, Love It or List It and the rest of the real estate shows and wish that HGTV would again start airing design shows and gardening shows. In other words, they need to go back to the kind of programming that they used to have. I need to write an actual letter to TPTB at HGTV.

I can't believe that so many of these young couple have no idea of a starter home. Couples with no kids want a five bedroom house? Why? They've got to have TWO walk-in closets in the master "suite". The buyer that doesn't demand that is rather refreshing to see.

Penny -who lives in a 50 year old brick 3 BR/2BA ranch with no walk-in closets

It drives me nuts that they expect everything in their first house.

We bought our first house last year - small, one level, 3br/2ba. Is it our forever home? No, it's pretty small, and I'd love a formal dining room, bigger closets, and a basement instead of a crawlspace.

But it's good enough for now and we got a damned good deal. House was foreclosed and we paid 80k for it. Market value was 143k. That in and of itself was worth the investment.

We want to redo the floors with hardwood, add some crown molding, and it's good for now. In a few years, when I have the big girl lawyer job and a a kid, we'll move and find something better. It doesn't have to be perfect the first time around.

[AuntCloud]

I'm flabbergasted by how low US house prices are compared to my expensive Canadian city! Even $143k would buy you a teeny apartment in a dubious part of town or a "handyman's special - needs lots of TLC!!" house that I'm not sure can withstand a strong gust.

Crown moulding and baseboards can work wonders, as well as refinished floors and some paint. There's a good DIY blog that specifically deals with renovations on a shoestring budget - addicted2decorating.com.

My house is far from perfect: I have a basement but no garage, I'd like a dining area that can sit more than 4 people, and another bathroom, a study and a guest room will be more than welcome. For now, I appreciate living below my means and my white appliances that don't show fingerprints.