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More Appalling Gothard Child-Training Craziness


Sydney Fox

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They believe that thinking for yourself and doing what you want is of the devil. That's why they hit babies. Baby wants to be awake? EVIL!!! Baby must submit to authority (parents) so that as it gets older it will submit to God, which is really just another authority like parents or pastors telling them what to do. The spirit must be broken early and often in order to get full obedience.

It's a sick sick system. I have observed parents hitting infants. I have seen nursery workers in fundie churches be abusive to babies and toddlers with the permission of their parents. It's a disgusting system. One of the many reasons I cannot find one good thing in these Duggar or Bates or any of the rest of them. They methodically beat children. It's horrifying.

But what about the mother, wanting and getting two hours to gossip uninterrupted? Godless heathens like me recognise that parents need time to recharge emotionally by talking with friends, but we recognise that it's unlikely to be an hour and a half with our kids present. Or, you know, what about babyproofing the house instead or requiring a level of self control from a baby which you don't require of a grown man? I wonder when the transition from "if I beat him often enough he won't touch things he's not allowed to have" transitions to "men have no self control so women have to make sure they don't tempt them".

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Why are fundies so cruel to babies, yet say they are blessings from God and accuse worldly people of being cruel to babies because theyre pro choice

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I've said this before I think, but - I am always surprised/appalled by the stories we always hear about folks getting into fundie-dom due to seeing the perfect behavior of QF kid. E.g.: "We went to The Millers'church bbq, and we just couldn't believe how good the kids were! They came on command, and the toddlers were all totally quiet and didn't move until told, and nobody spilled anything or got into any arguments or git dirty! We thought, 'How do we get that?'" Am I the only one who would be thinking, "What in the actual fuck? What are they doing to these kids to get such perfect behavior? Let's get out of here, these people are giving me the creeps." I would much rather see a 2 year old having a tantrum at the supermarket than one who smiles quietly on a blanket for two hours.

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Yeah, I would be creeped out by loads of perfectly behaved kids even more than if the kids were running round wildly, fighting and getting dirty

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My parents were influenced by Gothardism and Focus on the Family "strong willed child" stuff, but they didn't spank nearly as much as many of these families. I was spanked the most out of all of the kids, mainly because at a very young age (I think about 4) I decided that if I didn't cry they would give up and find some other way to punish me. Meanwhile, my mother had had it drilled into her that she was supposed to spank until tears appeared. Fortunately she had decent motherly instincts and did not end up following that advice, but it was only recently that I realized it was at that age that I taught myself how to dissociate. I had dealt with covert panic attacks for years, that only went away when I realized they were panic attacks, and had realized that I was really good at dissociating in stressful situations. It's been a LOT of work to learn to be present. I hope you continue to get in touch with your emotions, lemonhead. Dissociation is an amazing tool when you are a kid, but as an adult it's really worth the effort to unlearn it.

How did you unlearn it? This is totally me.

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How did you unlearn it? This is totally me.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply I have completely unlearned it. I have made some progress, but I still talk about my childhood experiences and feel nothing for myself. It's a process, a journey, and I am quite fortunate to have a good therapist and a hands-off insurance company that so far has been willing to allow me to take my time. I don't want to say much more here in a public forum, but feel free to PM me if you want.

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How did you unlearn it? This is totally me.

^^What lemonhead said... feel free to PM me, I don't mind talking about my progress thus far if you are interested, but don't want to clutter up the thread.

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People like this don't deserve to be entrusted with a perfect, though helpless, child. They beat out all the joy of having children in the first place. They don't want children. They want obedient slaves to do whatever they command. It's disgusting and horrifying.

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But what about the mother, wanting and getting two hours to gossip uninterrupted? Godless heathens like me recognise that parents need time to recharge emotionally by talking with friends, but we recognise that it's unlikely to be an hour and a half with our kids present. Or, you know, what about babyproofing the house instead or requiring a level of self control from a baby which you don't require of a grown man? I wonder when the transition from "if I beat him often enough he won't touch things he's not allowed to have" transitions to "men have no self control so women have to make sure they don't tempt them".

There are so many disconnects in the fundie system I can't even begin to explain it and I don't understand why. Tons of do what I say and not what I do. Hypocrisy at it's finest.

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Being void of emotion is not godly or Christ-like in any way. It's sinister and evil.

Oh I quite agree and we know that science and psychology would agree as well. Of course science and psychology are also evil according to fundie culture so you're not going to get very far with that argument unfortunately.

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I've said this before I think, but - I am always surprised/appalled by the stories we always hear about folks getting into fundie-dom due to seeing the perfect behavior of QF kid. E.g.: "We went to The Millers'church bbq, and we just couldn't believe how good the kids were! They came on command, and the toddlers were all totally quiet and didn't move until told, and nobody spilled anything or got into any arguments or git dirty! We thought, 'How do we get that?'" Am I the only one who would be thinking, "What in the actual fuck? What are they doing to these kids to get such perfect behavior? Let's get out of here, these people are giving me the creeps." I would much rather see a 2 year old having a tantrum at the supermarket than one who smiles quietly on a blanket for two hours.

Stepford families.........

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Just reading about this makes me feel sick, let alone hearing a parent proudly stating what she/he does to produce such "perfect" Stepford children. But I think that part of the reason why some of these parent use such tactics on their children to break their spirits is because these fundies want to feel that they have power over someone weaker. I mean their version of God is that of a cruel capricious bully for whom they have to suppress all their natural feelings and instincts. I wouldn't be surprised if many of them have an unexpressed levels of anger that they then channel onto their children. It wouldn't surprise me at all that many of them also abuse animals.

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***Jerri Dee-They are not unhappy on the blanket. Everyone's spirit is so free

and so happy because there is order. When Mommy is upset and fretful that

is much worse.

Perhaps Mommy's the one who needs blanket training then.

She's basically admitting that she beats her kids because she can't stand them. This woman is awful.

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Stepford families.........

So true. When I was working as a Director of an agency that provided social services I would always tell my staff that it is NOT necessarily a good thing if a bunch of children are sitting quietly and perfectly behaved while their parents are having an appointment ! Obviously some children are just naturally quiet, but if there are 5 or 6 little children who are not making a peep or budging from their seats for an hour......that's something to be at least a little concerned about. Same with a large family with a house that is ALWAYS spotless. Those are warning signs as much as a bunch of clutter or kids as wild as the howlers. The family might be perfectly fine, and that's just how they are (for example I have one grandchild who lives to clean and is incredibly well behaved..it's just her personality ), but it is definitely not always normal and can be a sign of possible abuse.

I can't believe that these parents can openly promote this kind of abuse and not have CPS involved. I think it must be partly the bias towards if it looks perfect on the outside it must be perfect on the inside.

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