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Horny virgins and other MRA contradictions


YPestis

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I think most MRA's fall somewhere on autism spectrum and I saw that as an aspie myself. The detachment from reality and like of understanding human social contracts make perfect sense

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Yikes that's a pretty big diss on those with ASD. I don't think that's the problem with these guys at all. Some aspie dudes can come off as jerks but tbe ones I know are more indifferent towards women/romance than anything.

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I've been making some rounds on the MRA blogs and it's like watching a train wreck.

Take the horny virgin phenomenon. These men complain about how modern women all want to have sex, and then complain that wives don't have enough sex with their husbands. I've saw at least one man say that his ideal wife is a horny virgin. A woman who is chaste with men, but once she gets married, all she wants to do is have sex with him. Yes, because female sexuality is all about making it a male fantasy. Women should only have a libido once you put a ring on her, prior to that, she should care less about sex. MRAs hate women who have sex with other men, but also get upset if the same women don't have sex with them and ON DEMAND.

The other issue is the SAHM vs gold digger debate they have. They all believe women have a natural tendency to want to stay home, but then complain that modern women are gold diggers who want to marry a rich guy. This makes little sense to me. If you support the idea that all women should stay home, then shouldn't a prudent women WANT to look at her husband's provider status? After all, if you close the option of letting women work, then the result is women will seek economic stability through her husband. It's.....kind of financially sensible.

These MRA men live in a delusional world. It's a world where women should be chaste until they meet their husband, after which they should be horny wives who will have sex at will. It's where women have the role of homemaker and men the role of breadwinner, but women who want to look for good breadwinners are "gold diggers" because it's only the women who should hold up her end of the gender role bargain.

I think most MRAs are the "losers" in the world. Unemployed, single or divorced. They can't hold onto a good job or a decent girl. So they create this fantasy that prior to feminism, the world would have have been perfect for them. They could whore around before marrying a virginal wife. Upon marriage, they gained a maid and sex slave but, unlike affording a house or wagon cart, the MRA men wouldn't need to expend capital to acquire said wife since women would marry for love rather than money.

These weird contradictions hits me every time I read the MRA blogs. Does anyone else see these weird contradictions? I feel MRAs make fundies look almost sane by comparison. At least fundies pay lip service to male chastity and they don't have that weird "SAHM are gold diggers" attitude. In fact, fundies try to recreate, however imperfectly, the world that was. MRA bloggers just...make up stuff as they go along.

I don't think horny virgin is a contradiction per se, anecdotally most people I know who had positive experiences their first time or times had a big libido boost for a few months. It's exciting to explore your sexuality.

I do think the obsession with virginity is tied to anxiety about performance and endowment so if they marry a virgin she won't have any basis of comparison.

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Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! They need that???

You just don't know all the misandry they face in this matriarchal gynocracy that western society has become!! Don't you remember the day that women gained ALL of the rights in society while men lost ALL of the rights that they previously had?

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To the MRAs, these contradictions are a feature, not a bug. They don't want any woman to be able to fulfill their demands, because if she did, she'd be on firm footing and have confidence. By creating inherent contradictions, they make their demands impossible to fulfill, leaving the women feeling like failures, lacking confidence and inherently dependent.

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I know a few dudes who are like the MRA bloggers in real life. One even managed to get married to a really nice Japanese girl who he is a major arsehole to, I have never in my life seen someone be as disrespectful to another person has he was to his wife when I met her - in public. The saddest thing is that this guy isn't dwelling in the basement of his mother's house (his mother incidentally is an amazing woman, I have no idea what went wrong with her son) he is actually successful at what he does.

I do hope she is shtupping the pool boy or the neighbor boy home from college.

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To the MRAs, these contradictions are a feature, not a bug. They don't want any woman to be able to fulfill their demands, because if she did, she'd be on firm footing and have confidence. By creating inherent contradictions, they make their demands impossible to fulfill, leaving the women feeling like failures, lacking confidence and inherently dependent.

It's not about the women's feelings. I don't want to get into ad hominem arguments about basement dwellers but a lot of these guys are not having a lot of success in their relationships so they turn to MRA as a philosophy to justify their lack of romantic success, ie they're too good for those horrible slutty career women or to create a scenario where the perfect robo wife doesn't exist so they can be perpetually angry at the world for not giving them what they want.

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Yikes that's a pretty big diss on those with ASD. I don't think that's the problem with these guys at all. Some aspie dudes can come off as jerks but tbe ones I know are more indifferent towards women/romance than anything.

I have to say that I've come across more than one aspie who went bonkers on the internet behind a fake name. It can be an addiction for anyone but for some it's also an outlet and when you don't conform to typical social norms this is what you get. No use denying it. That's no to say they are all the same or do things like this, obviously not, but I've get a spidey senses about many people who post online and if they aren't on the spectrum I'll eat my hat.

I've called out a couple over the years when they wouldn't get out of my threads and just wanted to muck things up for the hell of it.

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The funny thing is that I am a virgin, and I have a high sex drive so I could easily see myself having sex every day (obviously in ideal circumstances) once I'm married/in a long term relationship. BUT I would never, ever, in a million years choose one of these assholes. So in this particular way I'm kind of their ideal woman and yet I'm completely disgusted by them and would never be with them. :lol: I'm also not a size 0 and I have a mind of my own, so I'm sure those qualities would disqualify me anyway. Ho hum.

The size 0 thing reminds me of a novelty song from years ago, about how a real man wants a cute little gal because having to look her in the eye would be unnerving.

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I have yet to meet, or talk to a MRA who was actually married. That tells you a whole lot about the vast majority of them.

All the alpha male/beta male talk on their blogs is just the most ridiculous crap.

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I remember a lot of UK/US twats who "played around" with Japanese girlfriends when I lived in Japan. They often said things like "Got to treat them mean!" and "They have to know you have other options, to make them behave".

One of these guys was a teuchter, and he used to describe the girls he knew as "ma bitchez" and "ma hoes". If you've ever heard that in an accent completely unsuited to the American idiom, you'd know how funny it was.

These same guys would loudly proclaim "Once you have Jap you'll never go back" and about how the women "treated them properly" and weren't "loud and arguing like white women, and were a hell of a lot sexier and better in bed".

All of this thoroughly disgusted me, and to be fair it disgusted many non-Japanese blokes too. One guy made a point of parading his new girlfriends in front of his Japanese girlfriend, who used to get very upset. That, to me, is sadism.

She obviously loved him a lot and was struggling to reconcile her love with his abuse. The other blokes said things like "It's a disgrace to treat her like that" and "What the fuck does he think he is doing?" He carried on.

This is why the MRAs go on about how lovely and fantastic non-Western women are. Because they act like horrible idiots before them, and their wives/girlfriends are polite, kind and nice (amazingly, in the face of this aggression), they think that their partners applaud all their wrongdoing.

They don't.

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I have yet to meet, or talk to a MRA who was actually married. That tells you a whole lot about the vast majority of them.

All the alpha male/beta male talk on their blogs is just the most ridiculous crap.

There have been a few on ManBoobz who claimed to be married and even claimed children. I think a lot are divorced & bitter.

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"I do think the obsession with virginity is tied to anxiety about performance and endowment so if they marry a virgin she won't have any basis of comparison."

I think this is completely accurate. I am in the post marriage and kids dating world. I don't date often, but I will tell you that these men know very well that they need to know how to please a woman. They learn because they know that the women they date do have prior experience. For both men and women in my age group who are single, being an active and considerate lover is the baseline expectation.

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I've come across more than a few MRAs professionally. Many were divorced, but some were married. There tended to be huge power imbalances in the marriages, though. I'd see folks where the guy was 45-55 and wife was in her early/mid 20s at time of marriage. Usually husband met wife overseas, she speaks limited English, husband takes passport and/or uses immigration status threats to keep her in line, etc... Some of these guys actually did seem fond of their wives(but view them as childlike dependents rather than equals), but more than a few of these situations made my skin crawl.

My take when I got to know these guys better was that they tended not to be leaders in the public sphere and so they really wanted to be hyper-dominant at home.

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A had a sort-of boyfriend once a few years ago who was basically an MRA. Honestly, he wasn't a terrible person, but he had had a very sheltered upbringing and was not good with people. He seems a lot nicer now, from what I've seen. The conservative Christian MRA types are absolutely horrible :?

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Oh man, I think MRAs are basically men who aren't getting sex. Is any man who is content with his sex life in the MRA 'movement'? I doubt it.

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Oh man, I think MRAs are basically men who aren't getting sex. Is any man who is content with his sex life in the MRA 'movement'? I doubt it.

No, of course not. The MRA movement is made up of men who are desperate for sex, but instead of admitting they are unappealing to women because of their attitude, they blame women.

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No, of course not. The MRA movement is made up of men who are desperate for sex, but instead of admitting they are unappealing to women because of their attitude, they blame women.

Or they're just horrible, evil people that no one would want to be near irl if their views were really known.

From the comments today -- spoiler for trigger warning:

the only justification for Rape as a crime (so it seems to me) is that it lowers the woman in the estimation of right thinking people- that is to say it either makes her unmarriagable or makes her husband the butt of cuckolding rumour.

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I've come across more than a few MRAs professionally. Many were divorced, but some were married. There tended to be huge power imbalances in the marriages, though. I'd see folks where the guy was 45-55 and wife was in her early/mid 20s at time of marriage. Usually husband met wife overseas, she speaks limited English, husband takes passport and/or uses immigration status threats to keep her in line, etc... Some of these guys actually did seem fond of their wives(but view them as childlike dependents rather than equals), but more than a few of these situations made my skin crawl.

My take when I got to know these guys better was that they tended not to be leaders in the public sphere and so they really wanted to be hyper-dominant at home.

I think that's true for many of the men on Dougie's "excursions". I think there's a dissatisfaction with their position in society and patriarchy makes them feel better about themselves.

Your mention what sounds like almost mail order bride situations and I've heard MRA talk of going aboard to find wives. The prattle on about finding women who are "traditional" (i.e submissive), "not slutty like American women" (i.e never had a boyfriend), who "value family, not money" (i.e won't mind marrying American men in dead end jobs).

It sounds to me like the only way MRAs will find their dream women is to exploit third world women who marry to escape to better lives, only to be kept under the thumb of their new husbands. I've seen a couple of cases and the women is never allowed to make decisions, being treated as minors. Worse, the husbands make the deliberate choice of denying them the chance to have a job or go to school.

In some ways, the MRAs are right about oversea brides. They are more traditional in that some come from patriarchal cultures and feel more resigned to a demanding husband. However, many are not the submissive housewives that MRAs imagine. They do want to attend school and go to work and gain financial independence. After all, a woman willing to enter into a foreign marriage to better herself is hardly the type to wish for a subservient existence. It's tragic that some end up with such douchebag husbands.

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