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lilah

Stinking lousewife snarks on nursing homes

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lilah

Apparently if you have no kids you end up sad and a lone in a nursing home. She's so meanspirited.

. I got news for you honey, plenty of people with kids also put their parents in nursing homes too. Sometimes that's the right choice for families. thinkinghousewife.com/wp/2013/08/the-child-free-life-cont/#more-58265

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ohnomoe

I must have missed the notice that giving birth to a child means that the child is contractually obliged to become a caretaker.

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NoneandDoneinCali

Gee, I guess the fact that my 90 year old Gram has moderate Alzheimer's and other health issues that necessitate professional medical care and is actually flourishing in her nursing home just goes to show how God frowns on childless spinsters. Oh, wait ... I guess since she's my grandmother, she is not, in fact, a childless spinster.

What a friggin' moron.

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IceTwinkie

I've said it before...children are not a valid retirement plan. What a twat-waffle.

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ILoveJellybeans
Apparently if you have no kids you end up sad and a lone in a nursing home. She's so meanspirited.

. I got news for you honey, plenty of people with kids also put their parents in nursing homes too. Sometimes that's the right choice for families. thinkinghousewife.com/wp/2013/08/the-child-free-life-cont/#more-58265

Just like parents who beat their kids with plumbing line and treat them like theyre not people.

Treat your kids well, theyre the one who picks your nursing home.

Im sure with how Lori talks about spanking her kids so much, that when she is old, theyre going to pick the worst one they can find.

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Sumeri

For reference, I work in financial planning.

One of the main pieces of a sound retirement plan is to make sure that you have covered the eventuality of going into care -- specifically because normal people do not want their children to be forced to take care of them in their old age.

I have told my kids, and I stand by it, that if I ever need to go into a nursing home, put me in a nursing home. I don't want them to feel obligated to take care of me - but even more than that I don't want to have to rely on them to take care of me. Skilled care isn't something that anyone instinctively knows. I took care of my mother in law when she was ill, for less than a year! and it nearly destroyed my marriage. I did not have the tools to take care of her, particularly while working full time as people do.

Taking care of an elderly relative who needs more help than you can provide is not loving or caring in the least.

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Depressed
polecat

My sister is a forty-something mother with a young teen daughter, and she is in a nursing home because of serious health problems that cannot be managed at home.

Nursing homes may not seem like the ideal, but they are better than the alternative for many people. And I think this woman is also seriously underestimating everything that goes into being a caretaker for an elderly or critically ill person. The physical and emotional stress can be utterly overwhelming. I love my kids too much to want them to have to be in that position.

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Depressed
polecat
I've said it before...children are not a valid retirement plan. What a twat-waffle.

You'll notice that the people who go on and on about kids caring for them in their old age are the exact same ones who claim that child-free is a selfish choice. :angry-banghead:

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Sola
Apparently if you have no kids you end up sad and a lone in a nursing home. She's so meanspirited.

. I got news for you honey, plenty of people with kids also put their parents in nursing homes too. Sometimes that's the right choice for families. http://www.thinkinghousewife.com/wp/201 ... more-58265

With a bit of luck if she has any kids they'll put her in Steve Maxwell's nursing home. Then she can look forward to a lack of fun, two animal crackers on her birthday and Steve's sermons every Sunday until the day she dies.

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Vex

I wonder who that guy with the one leg my family and I kept visiting in the nursing home was? 'Cause he couldn't have been my Grandad, he had two kids. One was even a nurse so of course he would have gone to live with her!

Honestly, fuck her. There are of course people there who have no family, but the nursing home my Grandad was in constantly had streams of relatives coming in and out so obviously most people had family coming even though the place was in a small coastal town 2 and a half hours away from the capital city and outlying suburbs. Yes, my aunt was a nurse but her house was not appropriate for a wheelchair, which Grandad needed after having his leg amputated. He was completely independent before the amputation and neither my side of the family nor my aunt/uncle/cousins ever really saw Grandad because he had a pretty busy schedule with his Lodge friends and volunteering for Meals on Wheels. We all saw him a lot more after he went into the nursing home.

As an aside, I would really love to take one of my cats to nursing homes for visits but I have to admit nursing homes just break my heart and make me really emotional (especially now that I've lost all my grandparents) and I can't quite bring myself to do it.

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Depressed
polecat

As an aside, I would really love to take one of my cats to nursing homes for visits but I have to admit nursing homes just break my heart and make me really emotional (especially now that I've lost all my grandparents) and I can't quite bring myself to do it.

My sister's nursing home has several outside cats. The residents really enjoy getting treats and feeding them. The home also has fish and birds inside, but I think those cats bring them more joy than anything else. It's more homey.

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GeoBQn

My husband's grandmother's nursing home has a dog, a parrot, some smaller birds, and a turtle. This grandmother is 102 years old, confined to a wheel chair, has no sense of orientation anymore, is practically blind, and practically deaf. She does, however, love to talk with people, listen to music if it is played loud enough, and write poetry. She just requires a level of care that my in-laws can't provide on their own.

My husband's other grandmother recently died at 87 after suffering for years from Alzheimer's disease. She was living in a senior apartment complex. While my in-laws were trying to find a nursing home to move her into, there was an incident where she walked out of her building, wandered two miles away, and fell down. A young couple found her while walking to the art museum and they realized something was wrong. (Grandma couldn't remember her name or any contact information for loved ones.) The couple persuaded Grandma to walk with them, then they called the police when they got to the museum. While all this was going on, my in-laws were frantically trying to locate her, working with the apartment staff and police, and calling all area hospitals. What if Grandma had wandered off to somewhere secluded, or what if the people who found her weren't so nice? How is one family member supposed to keep a person with memory problems and no mobility issues safe in a house with no security features or surveillance? Even if my MIL had quit her job to devote herself to 24/7 care, Grandma still could have gotten herself in a bad situation if my MIL stepped away for 5 minutes to go to the bathroom. It is just too much for one or two people to handle by themselves.

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fun2beme
Taking care of an elderly relative who needs more help than you can provide is not loving or caring in the least.

Ditto. A friend swore she'd never put her parents in a nursing home because that's not done in their culture (Filipino) like Americans do. Had to bite my tongue several times because, as others stated, sometimes taking care of a relative can be way beyond what one can handle. But people never realize that until they're in the situation. In my friend's case, her mom has dementia and her dad had a stroke in the Spring. She basically gave up her entire lifestyle to move 5 hours away, back into their home, to be their caretaker. My friend is in her 40s and doesn't know anyone in the area and is having a difficult time meeting people, especially since her boss allowed her to keep her job and work remotely.

Several months later, my friend now wavers between being depressed or dealing with pent-up anger. Recently she confided in me that something will have to give soon, and has gotten to the point that a nursing home may be an option as she realizes just how difficult this whole thing is.

Lousewife can shove it until she's in that situation! :pull-hair:

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ILoveJellybeans

Just like parents who beat their kids with plumbing line and treat them like theyre not people.

Treat your kids well, theyre the one who picks your nursing home.

Im sure with how Lori talks about spanking her kids so much, that when she is old, theyre going to pick the worst one they can find.

Waaaaaaait.....I dont know why, but this is the second or third time I have posted on a thread about the Lousewife and called her Lori. I dont know why but I literally cant tell the two apart.

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lilwriter85

Ditto. A friend swore she'd never put her parents in a nursing home because that's not done in their culture (Filipino) like Americans do. Had to bite my tongue several times because, as others stated, sometimes taking care of a relative can be way beyond what one can handle. But people never realize that until they're in the situation. In my friend's case, her mom has dementia and her dad had a stroke in the Spring. She basically gave up her entire lifestyle to move 5 hours away, back into their home, to be their caretaker. My friend is in her 40s and doesn't know anyone in the area and is having a difficult time meeting people, especially since her boss allowed her to keep her job and work remotely.

Several months later, my friend now wavers between being depressed or dealing with pent-up anger. Recently she confided in me that something will have to give soon, and has gotten to the point that a nursing home may be an option as she realizes just how difficult this whole thing is.

Lousewife can shove it until she's in that situation! :pull-hair:

I have known several people who have stated that they are against nursing homes because of cultural or personal beliefs. In the past few years, I have and read some claims about how "Hispanics don't put their parents in nursing homes". That is wrong for several reasons. There are various types of Hispanic cultures and communities. I know some people in my Hispanic culture who are very much against nursing homes because they feel that they owe to their parents. But others end up putting their parents in nursing homes for various reasons.

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lilwriter85

The Lousewife's post is crap mostly because nobody knows how they will end up in their later years or if they will live a long life. My mom had a friend who decided not to have kids. The friend died in her late 40s due to cancer. My boyfriend had a great aunt who was child free. She was in her late 70s when she died of a stroke in her apartment. She was rarely sick and her sudden death was a shock to many in the family.

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