Man writes public letters to his ex-wife

[Cone]

dearwifeloveyourhusband.com

A divorced mormon man started a blog to write letters to his ex-wife because the divorce decree forbid him from talking to her except about their children. About half way through his blogging he stopped writing to the ex and starting writing to his future wife. He is not currently dating anyone. The ex-wife has not publicly spoken about her divorce (so you are only hearing his side of the story) but she was remarried within a year. It seems like the main reason for the divorce was a p*rn addiction. Long story short, he's a ex-BIL of a blogger on GOMI. GOMI deemed this guy as a creep and I thought it'd be fun to post here due to the religious context. Is he completely creepy or just a little too deep in his faith?

Some highlights from his blog:

There was a woman I had never met. I took her a paper that needed filled out, I gave her my pen to write with. When dinner was served, I got her a bottle of water. I don’t know what she thought of the things I did for her, but I decided since I didn’t have a wife, I was going to treat her like my own. I didn’t tell her that, but knowing what I was doing made me happy. I’ve never seen that woman before nor since, but for that brief period I was able to show her my love. (Feb 23)

After she left, words were said that gave me hope that things could be worked out between us. It took me three months to figure out what I needed to do to fix my end of the relationship. It’s interesting to see how three months can make two people who lived together for ten years come to opposite conclusions. I became willing to wait ten more years for us to work things out and told her so. I think my obvious desperation made me appear weak... I refused to sign the divorce papers when it was written that we had “irreconcilable differences.†I simply knew that wasn’t true. I was willing to do anything good to be reconciled. It hurt when I saw my soon to be ex-wife bounce out of the attorney’s office after the divorce mediation. I couldn’t help but think she was so eager to push the divorce through because she felt she had found someone better.

March 24

[anjulibai]

Very creepy. Dude needs a therapist.

[walnut]

Am I the only one around here

*image of a guy cocking his gun*

That is appalled by laundry aired by people and keeps my private life behind closed doors?!!!!!

[Ariel]

dearwifeloveyourhusband.com

A divorced mormon man started a blog to write letters to his ex-wife because the divorce decree forbid him from talking to her except about their children.

Some highlights from his blog:

I'm not familiar with divorce decrees, but isn't prohibiting contact between spouses a pretty big red flag?

Also, too little too late dude. You probably were given chances to fix your relationship before the divorce papers arrived.

[walnut]

He sure did, now reaches out to a mass of total strangers to for comfort and some energy vampirey. And pity. He must be an emotional leech and a loser. Ex wife is better off without him.

[pookel]

You didn't figure out what you were doing wrong until three months AFTER she left you? Doin' it wrong.

[walnut]

And now he's out and about harvesting attention, pity, and if lucky, a few bad words from others on his ex. That'll make his day. Or week. Or "life".

[socalrules]

There was a woman I had never met. I took her a paper that needed filled out, I gave her my pen to write with. When dinner was served, I got her a bottle of water. I don’t know what she thought of the things I did for her, but I decided since I didn’t have a wife, I was going to treat her like my own. I didn’t tell her that, but knowing what I was doing made me happy. I’ve never seen that woman before nor since, but for that brief period I was able to show her my love. (Feb 23)

1. Pretended she was his wife? This is the type of guy who could let the fantasy become reality and some poor woman goes missing because he wants a wife.

2. I am not sure why giving someone a pen to write with and getting them a bottle of water, is showing your love. Why would the woman think anything about it? Also, if that is showing his love, no wonder is wife is gone.

[Peas n carrots]

1. Pretended she was his wife? This is the type of guy who could let the fantasy become reality and some poor woman goes missing because he wants a wife.

2. I am not sure why giving someone a pen to write with and getting them a bottle of water, is showing your love. Why would the woman think anything about it? Also, if that is showing his love, no wonder is wife is gone.

Bizarre-o. This man is really, really pathetic.

[chaotic life]

I am so creeped out by that dude. He sounds like a full blown sex addict who turned his addiction onto his wife when he could no longer have her. Sex addictions are considered intimacy disorders. I'm guessing that she has cut him off from any reality of intimacy, now he suddenly desperately wants her, and now maybe wants a replacement trophy. He only wants what he cannot possess anymore.

That creep is what stalkers and rapists are made of. I would be seriously icked out if I were his ex, and would be requesting a restraining order based upon this behavior.

He's submerged all of his obsession under the cloak of religion, making him guilty of spiritual abuse on top of everything he has thrown at that poor woman. He claims he has beaten his addiction, but he has merely shifted his addiction.

[Many_Spaynes]

Yeah, the forbidden contact order is a huge red flag. I'm getting an MRA vibe from this guy. He's so sensitive, been so victimized by the cruel slut of an ex. I'm sure tools are rallying to his cause. Actually, "tools" is too light (and Doug Philips is a tool!), psycho killers are rallying to his cause.

edited: riffles

[rward]

Bizarre-o. This man is really, really pathetic.

Can you imagine the woman coming across this. Some guy gets you a pen and a bottle of water and it turns out he's pretending your his wife? :pink-shock:

[FeministShrew]

Is porn addiction common in Mormons? My lifelong best friend is LDS & her husband is addicted to porn. (He's also a major asshole who brags about parking in parking spaces reserved for the disabled, but that's another issue.)

[rward]

Is porn addiction common in Mormons? My lifelong best friend is LDS & her husband is addicted to porn. (He's also a major asshole who brags about parking in parking spaces reserved for the disabled, but that's another issue.)

People who park in disabled spaces should get their own ring of hell. They'll be given disabilities and be forced to traverse a Walmart parking lot unaided, for all eternity.

Anyway, yes porn usage is always higher in conservative regions. The highest porn consumption is in the reddest states (in the US) and Utah leads the pack.

[Khan]

Oh. My. Stars. This man is a kidnapper waiting to happen. I hope some poor woman doesn't smile at him or she might end up chained in his basement in a wedding gown.

[polecat]

This is beyond creepy.

[MissBeaufort]

Is porn addiction common in Mormons? My lifelong best friend is LDS & her husband is addicted to porn. (He's also a major asshole who brags about parking in parking spaces reserved for the disabled, but that's another issue.)

I think part of the problem might be perception. This is only anecdata, but Mr Beaufort grew up Mormon and when he was 14 the bishop came down on him for having a "porn and masturbation addiction" because Mr. B was hiding away with his laptop once a week or so. I'm not saying that porn addictions aren't real- because I completely believe they are- but the Mormons that I know personally seem to have a really low standard for what they consider an addiction.

As for the thread topic, I can't help but think that if the wife has seen any of her ex's writing she must be thanking her lucky stars for having gotten away.

[ADoyle90815]

I think part of the problem might be perception. This is only anecdata, but Mr Beaufort grew up Mormon and when he was 14 the bishop came down on him for having a "porn and masturbation addiction" because Mr. B was hiding away with his laptop once a week or so. I'm not saying that porn addictions aren't real- because I completely believe they are- but the Mormons that I know personally seem to have a really low standard for what they consider an addiction.

As for the thread topic, I can't help but think that if the wife has seen any of her ex's writing she must be thanking her lucky stars for having gotten away.

That's true as there are some Mormons who think that if someone looks at porn once, even if it was by accident, they're addicts. Some even consider things like the Victoria's Secret catalog to be porn. Back to this topic, I do think this person is extremely creepy, and I hope Mormons living near him remember what happened to Elizabeth Smart. Even if he wouldn't kidnap someone as young as she was at the time, he does seem like the kidnapper type to me.

[Cone]

Glad to see Free Jinger has the same reactions as GOMI did. The guy is pretty creepy.

For those who mentioned the ex-wife...it is assumed she has saw these blog posts. The guy links his blog on his facebook profile and shares them with his friends. The children only get to spend 2 weekends a month with their dad. I'm not sure what exactly happened to cause him to have little visitation rights but it's assumed she knows how nutty he is.

[wild little fox]

1. Pretended she was his wife? This is the type of guy who could let the fantasy become reality and some poor woman goes missing because he wants a wife.

2. I am not sure why giving someone a pen to write with and getting them a bottle of water, is showing your love. Why would the woman think anything about it? Also, if that is showing his love, no wonder is wife is gone.

WTF did I just read ? (the blog, not socialrules)

That paragraph is creepy. He sees women as property. Pretending that she is his. As a society we should show kindness to everyone but practicing ownership is a red flag.

Since he cannot contact her, except in regard to the children, it makes me think that he should have only supervised visitation. Parents who are abusive assholes in their marriage can/do treat their children poorly. Especially fathers thanking out their anger and need to abuse on the daughter(s).

ETA riffle

[wild little fox]

Glad to see Free Jinger has the same reactions as GOMI did. The guy is pretty creepy.

For those who mentioned the ex-wife...it is assumed she has saw these blog posts. The guy links his blog on his facebook profile and shares them with his friends. The children only get to spend 2 weekends a month with their dad. I'm not sure what exactly happened to cause him to have little visitation rights but it's assumed she knows how nutty he is.

My thought was he wanted to hit the woman he gave the pen over the head and drag her off to his man cave.

[Phoebe]

....aaaaaaaaaaaaand the site's been deleted.

Dickbag. Doesn't he realize The Internet Is Forever?

[Fenchurch]

I just went in and it's still there.

[NoneandDoneinCali]

I just went in and it's still there.

Really? I saw that it was deleted too. Am I doing it wrong?

[fun2beme]

Creepier than hell. Kind of has a William Faulkner vibe about it.

And the worst part is that some very young and very naive fundie would probably be floored by his "devotion" to her and end up marrying him. Unless, as others pointed out, he ends up in a horrific kidnapping scenario first. I think the ex should give a copy of his blog to the courts and permanently remove his contact with the kids.