Erin & Chad are offical...

[Bethella]

I've been wondering, up until now Erin has had to take a buddy with her to her classes. After the wedding will she be able to attend on her own? Will she still need to take a sibling buddy? OR will Chad go with her? I'm guessing Chad will go with her so they can show off being all lovey-dovey to her classmates.

[Guest]

Soooo now she's going to graduate in May? I understand that a lot of people who marry young might finish a semester or two after the wedding, but they generally put off having a family. There's a very good chance Erin could get pregnant before she graduates, or even at the end of a pregnancy. I really hope she does finish her degree, but also has a chance to use it before she has five children and no time.

[Hisey]

I guess I dont see what is so scary about texts. Maybe I am out of touch, but what is really going to happen to damage their precious purity?

I think it's highly unlikely that Erin is going to text a nude picture of herself to Chad. With that off the table, what are they likely to say/do that is so terrible? And if talking face to face is allowed, then they'd be more likely to save any lovey dovey talk for those moments.

I guess I don't see why texting is such a threat to fundies.

[singsingsing]

Everything is a threat to fundies. The more rules they create and apply to everyday situations, the more in control they feel.

[freethemall]

Soooo now she's going to graduate in May? I understand that a lot of people who marry young might finish a semester or two after the wedding, but they generally put off having a family. There's a very good chance Erin could get pregnant before she graduates, or even at the end of a pregnancy. I really hope she does finish her degree, but also has a chance to use it before she has five children and no time.

I was just about to post about Kelly's comment on that! I think it's definitely worrisome - I could see any reasons being taken to put off finishing as long as possible, since one's already come up. I worry the reasons will keep coming (pregnancies, taking care of kids, taking care of Chad, filming specials with the Duggars, all that travel fundies tend to do) and she may end up years from now reminiscing how she only had 2 classes to go and at that point it'll be too late. I'll be really sad if that happens.

And man...only 3 months til that wedding! I can't imagine putting one together so fast, and I can't wait to see how it turns out!

[VincentvanGoGo]

I can't wait either! It is interesting to see how things turn out for Erin & Chad, because I'm same age as Erin but I live very different life.

[walnut]

Everything is a threat to fundies. The more rules they create and apply to everyday situations, the more in control they feel.

Yes that is so true. Their entire life is a death cycle of control freakery. It must be horrible to be willing to control every tiny aspect of your life and that of others. Kind of a restless life. Terrible. Their EGO must drive them crazy.

[silverspoons]

Maybe it is me but I don't see Erin having 19 kids. I can some of her other siblings but not her. Maybe 6-8 but not one every 2 years. If they get married in November then even if it is a honeymoon baby , she still should be able to finish college since she would be 5-6 month along. It seems like most of the large families I follow most get pregnant after 3-4 months or more. Maybe it takes awhile to get the hang of it or they are not as fertile as they figured.

I think Erin will be allowed to teach because have we heard of any great high paying solid career Chad has? If she teaches piano lessons and he finds some sort of construction work they will be able to make ends meet. Of course my mind always goes to health insurance when I think of couples who are saying they want a large family and do not have solid careers or group health plans. My maternity deductible is my birth control (currently the first 15k would be on me plus 20%).

[Coldest Winter]

Maybe this is a dumb question but...if she's going to be doing online classes at her future home, will it still have the internet filter that Kelly has at the house? Or will she be free to ACTUALLY surf the internet, unrestricted?

[walnut]

Maybe it is me but I don't see Erin having 19 kids. I can some of her other siblings but not her. Maybe 6-8 but not one every 2 years. If they get married in November then even if it is a honeymoon baby , she still should be able to finish college since she would be 5-6 month along. It seems like most of the large families I follow most get pregnant after 3-4 months or more. Maybe it takes awhile to get the hang of it or they are not as fertile as they figured.

I think Erin will be allowed to teach because have we heard of any great high paying solid career Chad has? If she teaches piano lessons and he finds some sort of construction work they will be able to make ends meet. Of course my mind always goes to health insurance when I think of couples who are saying they want a large family and do not have solid careers or group health plans. My maternity deductible is my birth control (currently the first 15k would be on me plus 20%).

No, you are not the only one. I can see her having 3, 4 kids tops. Not more. I do not see her as a meek broodmare, a servant, anything like that.

[scc12]

Maybe it is me but I don't see Erin having 19 kids. I can some of her other siblings but not her. Maybe 6-8 but not one every 2 years. If they get married in November then even if it is a honeymoon baby , she still should be able to finish college since she would be 5-6 month along. It seems like most of the large families I follow most get pregnant after 3-4 months or more. Maybe it takes awhile to get the hang of it or they are not as fertile as they figured.

I think Erin will be allowed to teach because have we heard of any great high paying solid career Chad has? If she teaches piano lessons and he finds some sort of construction work they will be able to make ends meet. Of course my mind always goes to health insurance when I think of couples who are saying they want a large family and do not have solid careers or group health plans. My maternity deductible is my birth control (currently the first 15k would be on me plus 20%).

I don't see Erin having that many, either.If she doesn't want a lot,then I hope she doesn't have them.

Holy cow...I have no idea how much it costs to have a baby these days...can't say I blame you though.

When I had my last one in 1992,the OB fee was $1500 for the whole pregnancy.All office visits included.One early sono was inc and that was the only routine sono they did.I think the deductible was $250 or so.

[marmalade]

Maybe this is a dumb question but...if she's going to be doing online classes at her future home, will it still have the internet filter that Kelly has at the house? Or will she be free to ACTUALLY surf the internet, unrestricted?

I think that as the new "authority," that would be up to Chad. I also wonder about Clown College's rules about allowing pregnant students attend class. Obviously, a pregnant student would have to be married, but do they want to expose other students to something that could be a "stumbling block" for other students (ie. girls dreaming of having their own little Armies for God, etc.).

[nokidsmom]

I was just about to post about Kelly's comment on that! I think it's definitely worrisome - I could see any reasons being taken to put off finishing as long as possible, since one's already come up. I worry the reasons will keep coming (pregnancies, taking care of kids, taking care of Chad, filming specials with the Duggars, all that travel fundies tend to do) and she may end up years from now reminiscing how she only had 2 classes to go and at that point it'll be too late. I'll be really sad if that happens.

And man...only 3 months til that wedding! I can't imagine putting one together so fast, and I can't wait to see how it turns out!

Yeah, I noticed how her graduation date keeps getting put off. I sure hope she can finish but I can't help but wonder if the so called "going to college" and "getting a degree" isn't taken so seriously as the Bates 'rents claim.

Stopping just short of a few credits to finish a degree program (even if it is Crown College) is not the time to stop. I remember being in utter fear of something happening in my last couple of of semesters keeping me from finishing such as an illness, accident, etc. Not getting pregnant (getting married I don't see a problem) is definitely something preventable.

[scc12]

I hope she finishes bf getting pregnant.Online classes wouldn't be so bad,but if she has morning (ie-sometimes all day) sickness,I can see her staying home for that.I know I was afraid to go anywhere for the first few wks out of fear of getting sick in public.

[NJMom]

How old are Erin and Chad and what does he do for a living? I saw the engagement post on the Bates website a few days ago but haven't been completly following their story. So, they've been together for almost a year? That's a lot better than Josh and Anna and David and Priscilla, both couples who barely seemed to know each other when they got engaged.

[sleepygirl1]

No update yet. I hope they give us details about the wedding planning that is going on.

[marmalade]

Erin just had a birthday. I want to say she turned 23, but may be 22. Chad is 25/26, depending on his birthday is.

[meep]

Erin just had a birthday. I want to say she turned 23, but may be 22. Chad is 25/26, depending on his birthday is.

She was born in 1991, so she'd be 22.

[marmalade]

So there's a 4-ish year age difference. Perfectly average. It's about the same age difference between my husband and I, and we don't have any issues with having to educate one-another about pop culture. Then again, Gothardites don't have this as an issue, since there is no modern culture to worry about; they're exposed to pretty much the exact same things, just in different places.

[Incognito22]

There is no way that this event could be filmed without the duggar bus making its incessant honking entrance and stealing the show. That being said, it would be super awesome if TLC "edits" to show the bates kids progressing in quiverful life while the Jslaves, "aren't eating Bon bons waiting for Prince Charming."

[slickcat79]

No, you are not the only one. I can see her having 3, 4 kids tops. Not more. I do not see her as a meek broodmare, a servant, anything like that.

I always wonder how much their choices or wants matter in that situation. Josh and Anna wrote into their wedding vows that they were leaving their family size up to God. They essentially made a promise to their lord and savior that they were not going to use birth control. Now they've been married <5 years and have 3 kids already. They may end up not having that many more, but then again Anna is not likely to be as fertile as Michelle or Kelly anyway.

Will Erin and Chad do the same thing with their vows? My guess would actually be no, but I expect they will face a fair amount of family and community pressure to have a large family anyway. The Bateses are probably the second most well-known QF family in the country, and Erin may inherit her mother's hyper-fertility. Certainly both families have made decisions that are pretty illogical in the name of worshiping God Gothard, and we don't really know if Erin and Chad are able and willing to buck indoctrination that goes back to early childhood.

[scc12]

I agree,I just wonder how well Erin has thought this whole thing through.Sure,she is infatuated,smitten and in love with Chad,but everyday life with constant pregnancy and a whole housefull of kids doesn't exactly = princess llfe.She doesn't strike me as someone who would enjoy that. (rightfully so,imo).

[infooverload]

I always wonder how much their choices or wants matter in that situation. Josh and Anna wrote into their wedding vows that they were leaving their family size up to God. They essentially made a promise to their lord and savior that they were not going to use birth control. Now they've been married <5 years and have 3 kids already. They may end up not having that many more, but then again Anna is not likely to be as fertile as Michelle or Kelly anyway.

Will Erin and Chad do the same thing with their vows? My guess would actually be no, but I expect they will face a fair amount of family and community pressure to have a large family anyway. The Bateses are probably the second most well-known QF family in the country, and Erin may inherit her mother's hyper-fertility. Certainly both families have made decisions that are pretty illogical in the name of worshiping God Gothard, and we don't really know if Erin and Chad are able and willing to buck indoctrination that goes back to early childhood.

I sometimes wonder if this is a requirement to be written into the vows since we have seen it in almost every fundie wedding that has been streamed. The whole idea of discussing family planning before having one child as a couple seems :cray-cray:. Then again they would say we are following a higher calling and being true Christians. I find this logic funny since if I recall correctly there are not different grades of Christians discussed in the Bible. We are all suppose to be equal or so the theory goes.

[GeoBQn]

The whole idea of discussing family planning before having one child as a couple seems . Then again they would say we are following a higher calling and being true Christians.

It reminds me of a woman interviewed for Homeward Bound, a book about the growing DIY movement. When she got married, this woman wanted to be the ultimate Catholic mother--have at least 6 children, homeschool all of them, make as much of their food and clothing from scratch, etc. The plan backfired after she had her 2nd child, when she suddenly (gasp!) realized she didn't want to have anymore children. It eventually lead to her questioning what she really wanted in several areas.

[lonedn]

Chad has announced it on his blog too (chadsperspective.blogspot.com). They do look cute in the picture, but I still find it surreal that Erin (who is the same age as me) will be married (and probably pregnant) soon. I am sooooo far away from that myself.