Lady Lydia's Advice for the Single Ladies

[Jinger Jar]

homeliving.blogspot.com

A misguided soul recently asked Lady Lydia - of Foggy Day Tea Party fame - about how as a single, working woman she also could be a Keeper of the Home. Lydia prefaces her advice by telling her that her advice isn't meant to imply that the woman is in any way "lacking in character," presumably because in Lydia's world single, 40-something women are either deficient in moral fiber, mental capacity, or both. :roll:

Lydia's advice boils down to this - seek gainful employment if you simply must, but make sure that in doing so your top priority is to fill your home with frivolities. Some gems from her post:

I know several women who spend a certain amount of time outside their homes just to look for things that would make their homes more homey. When they are away from home, it is for the purpose of finding something that is good for their home life, instead of spending money on office parties or get-togethers with co-workers. It is certainly better to spend $20.00 on a set of cushions or a coverlet, a new shower curtain or set of glassware, a new broom or set of towels, or even a nicely framed painting on the wall, etc. than to throw it away on a night out with friends.

Because brooms and shower curtains take priority over friendships. I must make a note to remember that.

If you like to sew, set up an area with your sewing maching [sic] and ironing board and your supplies, and if you like to cook, leave out a set of mixing bowls or pretty measuring cups. Supply a special table with tea things. Find books about the home to put on your coffee table. These things will reinforce and establish your desire to become more of a homemaker.

Every woman wants to come home to cluttered surfaces. It's so visually relaxing. I don't know about anyone else's pets, but while I'm at work my cats would amuse themselves by pushing tea bags, books and measuring cups on to the floor and would use the ironing board to launch themselves to places they have no business being. I don't even want to think about what they would do with unattended sewing supplies.

Lydia informs us that it's imperative for an unmarried Keeper of the Home entertain in her off hours. After all, Lydia herself was able to entertain all the female campers at a campground once.

When I stayed in a campground for several months, I made sure that before I left, I entertained each woman I met there, with a small tea party. Due to the limited space, only one at a time could be entertained, but I did not let the small place limit my ability to extend hospitality.

I have a mental image of campers, women just wanting to hike and boat with their families and friends, trying to dodge this woman wearing a pink fleece cape and matching fascinator, who'd stand by her pup tent all day cajoling them to come inside - one at a time - for a "tea party". Or better, going tent-to-tent, RV-to-RV, inquiring after women to tea party with.

"Hey, has that woman in the orange tent over there asked you to have a tea party with her?"

"Yeah. Weird. Do you think somebody should tell the park rangers?"

Finally, Lydia offers her wisdom on the perfect look and godly demeanor for women who simply cannot avoid gainful employment outside the home: long skirts, long hair, clear complexion, soft hands, and a perpetual smile. Never raise your voice, give orders or tell anyone to do anything (even if you're the boss, it's better to beg for help than give orders). And always project the image that, no matter what, you'd rather be a full-time homemaker.

I have just one person I'd like Lady Lydia to get to know:

She's Sr. Col. Dr. Deirdre Byrne. [link=http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/jan/25/working-miracles/?page=all#pagebreak]She's[/link] a surgeon and a colonel in the U.S. Army. She's also a sister in the order of the Little Workers of the Sacred Heart. When she's not operating on soldiers in Afghanistan, she's serving 7,000 uninsured people a year at a clinic she started in Washington D.C. One of her colleagues warned that one never says no to Sr. Deirdre because, "She's a bear trap."

Sr. Deirdre says that all of Lady Lydia's arguments are invalid.

[anjulibai]

Why spend so much energy on making your home "homey"if you don't have friends to invite over? Your friends are going to want to go out now and then, and not just to find cushions or shower curtains.

[ThatSnark]

I think Sr. Deirdre and Lady Lydia should have a trailer park tea party. I bet I know which one would leave in tears.

Thanks for the link-- she is the perfect antidote to this nonsense.

[danvillebelle]

The thing that really slays me about Lydia is her tone....it always reads to me as if she thinks she is the FIRST person to ever think up the advice she's giving. Little touches like candles and such make a house homey? I had no idea! :o

And Sr. Col. Deirdre can just rock on with her bad self. What a woman! :clap:

[Emme]

never mind that studies show that spending money on experiences, not things, is what makes people truly happy...

[nelliebelle1197]

D'ya think Lydia meant "campground" or "trailer park"? Who stays for months at a campground?

[Muriel Heslop]

Does she still have readers?

:character-oldtimer:

[patsymae]

"I know several women who spend a certain amount of time outside their homes just to look for things that would make their homes more homey. When they are away from home, it is for the purpose of finding something that is good for their home life, instead of spending money on office parties or get-togethers with co-workers."

So shopping is a good use of your time, and acquiring stuff is more important than relationships with actual human beings?"

I'm missing something. Exactly how is this different from the evil mainstream American consumer culture?

[miffy]

Does she still have readers?

:character-oldtimer:

Yeah, us! :lol:

[tenth muse]

I would absolutely prefer spending $20 on a night out with friends, where we can talk, laugh, take crazy photos and make lots of memories, to spending it on a broom which barely sees the light of day in any case.

[RosyDaisy]

Has anybody told Lady Lydia that single women can work, keep house, cook, clean, help others, and hang out with friends?

[danvillebelle]

Has anybody told Lady Lydia that single women can work, keep house, cook, clean, help others, and hang out with friends?

Honestly, I think that thought would blow the cheap fleece fascinator right off her head.

[ThisOlGirl]

OMG, a fleece fascinator? I can't even bring myself to go look for that on her blog. I still giggle uncontrollably when I just think of her fleece coat/bathrobe/ whatever the hell that thing is.

[miffy]

Did anybody else read the Baby Sitters Little Sister books as children (&then again as an adult :shifty: )? Lydia would fit in well at a Lovely Ladies party. Although Karen might be very suspicious of her & think she is a witch like Mobidda Destiny.

[AnnieC 305]

She's Sr. Col. Dr. Deirdre Byrne. [link=http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/jan/25/working-miracles/?page=all#pagebreak]She's[/link] a surgeon and a colonel in the U.S. Army. She's also a sister in the order of the Little Workers of the Sacred Heart. When she's not operating on soldiers in Afghanistan, she's serving 7,000 uninsured people a year at a clinic she started in Washington D.C. One of her colleagues warned that one never says no to Sr. Deirdre because, "She's a bear trap."

Sr. Deirdre says that all of Lady Lydia's arguments are invalid.

If I could make a meme pict I'd take this one

http://s3.amazonaws.com/asnemedia/f64e8 ... -EEWEB.jpg

And say that Sr. Col. Dr. Deirdre says that your argument is invalid, and use it every time we found another crazy argument against women working/serving in the military.

Just by existing she negates their arguments.

[Pond]

Did anybody else read the Baby Sitters Little Sister books as children (&then again as an adult :shifty: )? Lydia would fit in well at a Lovely Ladies party. Although Karen might be very suspicious of her & think she is a witch like Mobidda Destiny.

Yes! But I think Karen's upbringing would appall Lydia. For starters, Watson was a single dad for a long time before he remarried *gasp!* Not to mention Karen goes to a secular private school, and she has a very tomboy step-sister who rebels and talks back to adults. Kristy is an ebil, public school-educated independent teenager who shells out on regular get-togethers with her friends. Big no-no for Lady Lydia :naughty:

[Handmaiden of Dog]

If you like to sew, set up an area with your sewing maching [sic] and ironing board and your supplies, and if you like to cook, leave out a set of mixing bowls or pretty measuring cups.

What on earth? It sounds like her house is terribly cluttered up. My Ironing board is folded up and put away after use and my sewing supplies go in my sewing basket which is also put away. I can't even imagine leaving mixing bowls and measuring cups sitting around on my counters-- you never know where flies have landed and during the summer there are always a few inside the house.

The part about "soft hands" sounds so old fashioned to me, and advice for young girls who don't do much manual work and have nothing better to think about. When I was a girl back in the 60's we used to rub Vaseline into our hands and then wear cotton gloves to bed. Nowadays I have too many other serious things to worry about and I'm sure my husband would not appreciate me cuddling up to him with cotton gloves on my hands.

[Patsy]

Lady Lydia is just a gem. I think she may be our most entertaining blog.

[LucySnowe]

Although you are living alone, it will be a great advantage to cook a meal and serve yourself on real dinnerware, and will aid in your over-all health. If all you do is make a sandwich, it is an act of homemaking which today, not everyone knows how to do. Eating at home increases the domestic atmosphere of the home. The beautiful scent of cooking will linger awhile and make you feel more of a homemaker.

Not everyone knows how to make a sandwich? Which is an act of homemaking? What planet does this woman live on?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Not everyone knows how to make a sandwich? What kind of people does she know? My four year old sister can make herself a sandwich, and Im sure she isnt some kind of supergenius.

All you do is get two slices of bread, spread butter on the bread, put the filling in and put one slice on top of the other. Easy.

[formergothardite]

In what world people not know how to make sandwiches? Most preschoolers I know can slap together a simple sandwich. I really want to be invited to one of her teas. I bet it would be amazing in a "this woman has lost her mind" sort of way.

[Peas n carrots]

Not everyone knows how to make a sandwich? Which is an act of homemaking? What planet does this woman live on?

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh the LULZ are strong with this one. Is she next going to tell us how to boil water?

Has LL never met a single working woman? I'm able to somehow clean, cook, go out with friends and work at the same time.

WTF with buying so much shit for your house too. I'll be the first to admit I'm not too terribly into home décor and you'll never mistake my apartment for a home in Better Homes and Gardens. But why would you need dozens of cushions or buy several shower curtains a year? I mean, it wouldn't take long before your home would turn into a hoarder's den! :cray-cray:

[Black Aliss]

Has LL never met a single working woman? I'm able to somehow clean, cook, go out with friends and work at the same time.

WTF with buying so much shit for your house too. I'll be the first to admit I'm not too terribly into home décor and you'll never mistake my apartment for a home in Better Homes and Gardens. But why would you need dozens of cushions or buy several shower curtains a year? I mean, it wouldn't take long before your home would turn into a hoarder's den! :cray-cray:

You may be able to do all those things but can you go out for a night on the town with your friends on a twenty dollar bill? Sounds like Lydia-the-Titus-2-Lady hasn't been anywhere other that her local dollar store in a long time.

[nelliebelle1197]

Besides paying attention to what the house looks like, spend time in it doing homey things: create a writing area so that you can attend to correspondence...

This sad little comment struck me more than anything. Poor Lady Delusionia. She is just...sad, from her fleece creations to her dime store "china".

[Peas n carrots]

It's like she is truly in a time warp...I mean who writes letters anymore? And $20 would be approximately 1 drink and the tip in a large city. She has completely lost touch lol.