Good mothers send their daughters back to alcoholics

[1004srs]

My ex husband was an abusive alcoholic. He was a functioning alcoholic and hid it very well until the night of our wedding.

He was verbally abusive to me when he was drunk - but once his wrath came down on our son, I left.

It is harder than anyone could imagine. Don't judge anyone who stays until you walk in their shoes.

[Jana814]

She had no idea. He hid the drinking very well, and the drugs only started a couple years ago. He had a death scare earlier this year, and confessed to her that over the course of their 11-year marriage, he had spent 100k on drugs, massage parlors, and strip clubs. When she heard that, that was it. He made a suicide attempt before she got out of the house, but that just sealed her resolve. She's living with my parents now. Her ex quit his job rather than go on medical leave, so he's not paying anything in child support. He got COBRA for himself, but not for her and the kids.

She's not a fundie, not submissive, but she tried to make it work for so long. She made excuses for him, did her best to help him come across in a good light. That's more than Lori does with Ken, so who is Lori to talk? A monster, that's who.

I think many people try and do what your sister did. Sometimes after a while They just snap and can't take it anymore.

[Pond]

:evil-eye: ... the fuck did I just read???

To quote Ron Weasley: "she needs to sort out her priorities"

[danvillebelle]

What a bunch of twisted nonsense.

My paternal grandmother stayed married to my alcoholic verbally abusive jerk of a grandfather for over 35 years. She had no work experience and no skills, and I'm sure stayed for the sake of her children. Finally in 1976 when he was forced into early retirement due to his drinking, she realized she didn't have to spend the rest of her life in misery and divorced his sorry ass. Thankfully, she re-married the most wonderful man a year later and got to experience a happy, loving marriage until his death in 2000.

If my spouse had ever laid a finger on me I'd have taken the kids that minute and never looked back. IME, abusers don't ever change.