Mikaela's life goals

[Daenerys]

Everything is just about serving and submitting and sitting pretty at Daddy's waiting for a man to come find you, and preparing to be a homemaker when that might never happen. I feel sad at the lack of urge to expand her horizons. There's so much more to life than what happens at home. She's clearly got a brain and it's such a pity she didn't go to a real college and learn to use it.

Six months before I graduated from high school, when I had no plan, I felt as though I were racing at Eric Liddell speed for a giant ravine. When the day came, I’d hold my breath, take a leap, and hope I made it across!

Yesterday afternoon, five years later, I opened up an old hunter green composition book in which I printed in blue ink, “Life after High School.†I still remember brainstorming the list, trying to think of every possible avenue to which the Lord might want me to give a wedge of time after I graduated. Reading over it, I see a lot of opportunies I have completed, a lot of choices I still need to make, and a lot of options the Lord has recently brought that I never dreamed of at the time I wrote the list.

Before I give my (updated) list, a few caveats:

· There is no human way to accomplish all of this. Don’t try to stuff the ravine of the unknown with filler as a way to bridge the gap. If a few ideas stand out to you, pray about them and bring them to your parents before cramming everything in.

· There is one noticeable exception to this list: college. But I decided that was the old stand-by that everyone would write, so at 18 I left it off. I still like that logic.

· Be creative. Just because you desire to stay under your parents’ authority doesn’t mean your list or life will look like mine! This is just a compilation of a few ideas to get you started and productive.

The List

1. Memorize the Bible. (1 John, Psalm 119, etc.)

2. Read at least one nonfiction book a month and write a report.

3. Bake bread.

4. Write a book.

5. Help siblings with school.

6. Advance in music.

7. Teach music.

8. Grow in character.

9. Be a servant.

10. Help other mothers and learn from them.

11. Put budgeting, buying, and making food into practice.

12. Garden.

13. Learn about car maintenance.

14. Study and delineate Biblical guidelines on marriage, childrearing, and other relevant topics.

15. Be a helper to my father. Be a helper to my mother in practice to be a homemaker.

16. Spend more time in prayer.

17. Visit nursing homes.

18. Be ready to defend my faith.

19. Review First Aid.

20. Study and apply So Much More.

21. Write music.

22. Sew

23. Work on relationships with my siblings.

24. Exercise.

25. Develop other spiritual gift qualities.

26. Work with a local homeschooling ministry.

27. Blog!

28. Look for ways to minister to other girls.

29. Learn about natural health.

30. Seek a mentor in an older woman.

Morsels to Digest

As a girl wanting to buck the world's status quo, don't get caught up in using your time, but do redeem it.

Don't find fulfillment in filling your schedule, but do be filled with the Holy Spirit and God's mission for you.

Don't measure your worth by your activity, but do judge your diligence by your habits.

It is a constant prayer of mine to be a productive, fruit-bearing woman of God, and I will be praying that for each one of you, no matter what season of life you are in!

What do you have to add to The List?

onebrightcorner.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/high-schoolthen-what.html

[salex]

If she really wants to be a servant, here is the school for it. http://www.starkeyintl.com/index.php

They really do have advanced house hold management classes, and the pay after graduation is likely more than she would get otherwise.

Mostly this list sounds like a lot of hobbies and makework.

[Trynn]

Well, there's nothing wrong with a list of hobbies you want to get into when you have the time/money. I myself have a mile long list of such things.

Yeah, it is lacking in clear goals for the future, though. Not that mine are much better:

1. Get job

2. Figure out what career I want

3. Recover from depression

Since mine is so pathetic, I don't think I can snark on hers too much :(

[Savoring Samsara]

LOL I initially read "sew" as "sex." Probably not on the approved SAHD to do list.

[fun2beme]

#13 is always a good skill to have.

I wish I had a list like that from high school just to compare it to where I ended up. But then again, you live the life you get even if its not the one you want.

[kpmom]

#13 is always a good skill to have.

I wish I had a list like that from high school just to compare it to where I ended up. But then again, you live the life you get even if its not the one you want.

So you don't think we have any control over our lives?

[fun2beme]

@ kpmom - To clarify, I think we have more control over how we react to most things as opposed to actually controlling most things that happen to us. For example, I have a chronic illness which is not something I can control and would not be life I would want, but what I can control is how I deal with this and live the life that was given to me.

That being said, there are several things we can control in our lives. I used to really want to be a vet but ended up working for the gov't. But if I wanted to do it enough and make a lot of sacrifices, I could make a career change and have a different type of life.

Does this make sense or just cause more confusion? :)

[Closed Womb]

At least dancing and/or kissing in the rain is nowhere on the list.

[bookgirl14]

I'm all for reading but why does she want to write reports on what she reads when she doesn't have to?

Well, there's nothing wrong with a list of hobbies you want to get into when you have the time/money. I myself have a mile long list of such things.

Yeah, it is lacking in clear goals for the future, though. Not that mine are much better:

1. Get job

2. Figure out what career I want

3. Recover from depression

Since mine is so pathetic, I don't think I can snark on hers too much :(

Your goals aren't pathetic. I have similar goals.

[kpmom]

@ kpmom - To clarify, I think we have more control over how we react to most things as opposed to actually controlling most things that happen to us. For example, I have a chronic illness which is not something I can control and would not be life I would want, but what I can control is how I deal with this and live the life that was given to me.

That being said, there are several things we can control in our lives. I used to really want to be a vet but ended up working for the gov't. But if I wanted to do it enough and make a lot of sacrifices, I could make a career change and have a different type of life.

Does this make sense or just cause more confusion? :)

Yes, it makes sense. As you say, there are some circumstances we're stuck with, like your chronic illness, but some we can control.

I just hate for anyone to think they have to settle for a life they don't necessarily want, but feel they were given. I have an idea some of the young, fundie women we talk about here feel this way.

[JMarie]

What's with #2? If she's already graduated, who is she writing the report for? She could start a book club and cover #14, 28, and 30.

[dairyfreelife]

@ kpmom - To clarify, I think we have more control over how we react to most things as opposed to actually controlling most things that happen to us. For example, I have a chronic illness which is not something I can control and would not be life I would want, but what I can control is how I deal with this and live the life that was given to me.

That being said, there are several things we can control in our lives. I used to really want to be a vet but ended up working for the gov't. But if I wanted to do it enough and make a lot of sacrifices, I could make a career change and have a different type of life.

Does this make sense or just cause more confusion? :)

I know what you mean. I didn't intend to just graduate, but that's what happened. Some of it was out of my control, but other things were. Illness and health issues among them.

My father's chronic illness has also made me change my plans and there are places I know don't want to go because I want to be within a two hour flight maximum in case of an emergency. The realization that I or my sister may need to help my parents out sooner than we thought we would need to is at the forefront of future decisions. Do we have to do that? Of course not, but life has a way of messing with even the most well-thought out plans and causing us to change the course we were headed on. There are things we can control and there are things that are out of our control.

That all said, her list can all be done while doing to college and/or working. Still no excuse to sit at home and contribute nothing to society as an adult when you are perfectly capable of working.

My responses to her list in italics

1. Memorize the Bible. (1 John, Psalm 119, etc.)-Memorize that and study for exams

2. Read at least one nonfiction book a month and write a report.-I prefer fiction personally, but I think she ought to read one classic a month of both. And skip the report and just discuss the book, like a book club. Book reports are so ninth grade

3. Bake bread.-which can be done at any time and while attending college

4. Write a book.-I write all the time and worked and went to college

5. Help siblings with school.-I helped my brother and a friend study, so can still do this with school

6. Advance in music.-Take more lessons on the side

7. Teach music.-Music education degree

8. Grow in character.-College will do that

9. Be a servant.-Volunteer on weekends

10. Help other mothers and learn from them.-Babysitting for overwhelmed mothers who deserve a break is a good thing and I hope you learn that being able to clothe and feed your children is more important than having baby after baby cause god

11. Put budgeting, buying, and making food into practice.-You can do this while going to school. Living on your own forces you to do this

12. Garden.-Done while going to school, so can you-side hobby

13. Learn about car maintenance.-Great thing to know, but you don't be home all the time to learn this

14. Study and delineate Biblical guidelines on marriage, childrearing, and other relevant topics.-Delineate is a little odd of a word in this sentence, especially since you have never done on a date, let alone know anything about a relationship works and especially not marriage and your siblings aren't the same as your children, so don't give advice on something you don't know anything about, thanks.

15. Be a helper to my father. Be a helper to my mother in practice to be a homemaker.-You should help them since you otherwise you are just sitting on your ass, so it would behoove of you to contribute something to the home since it's they are being rather generous to allow you to stay in their house without rent and continue to feed you and clothe you when you don't have a job or are going to school. My parents would have kicked me out and rightly so because that's how life works.

16. Spend more time in prayer.-Nuns pray all day

17. Visit nursing homes.-That's nice, but what's your purpose of being there?

18. Be ready to defend my faith.-Just because someone doesn't agree with you is no need to get defensive. Go to school and join the debate club

19. Review First Aid.-Take CPR classes from the local fire department

20. Study and apply So Much More.-What is that? A book? Apply the knowledge from numerous textbooks instead and grow more intelligent

21. Write music.-Side hobby

22. Sew-Side hobby, though I admit learning to do this is on my bucket list

23. Work on relationships with my siblings.-Done all the time throughout your life and nothing to do with jobs or education. All relationships could be better

24. Exercise.-Side and something we all need to do and many of us need to do more

25. Develop other spiritual gift qualities.-Not sure what this means, but I am certain developing potential can be done while working and/or going to school

26. Work with a local homeschooling ministry.-These exist? What's their purpose?

27. Blog!-Side hobby

28. Look for ways to minister to other girls.-Why? To tell them to do nothing useful in their life after high school until they get married and then they can cook, clean and wipe poopy butts until menopause kicks in and doing whatever their husbands tell them to do until the day they die? How wonderful

29. Learn about natural health.-Side learning. Try a health class too

30. Seek a mentor in an older woman.-I hope she tells you to get off your ass and do something worthwhile with your life besides needlessly sitting at home waiting for one of the UPS men to ask your dad to court you, which ain't gonna happen.

[PennySycamore]

I'm all for reading but why does she want to write reports on what she reads when she doesn't have to?

Your goals aren't pathetic. I have similar goals.

What kind of person writes book reports when they're no longer in school?

[GRUM]

"There's no human way to accomplish this"? Gurrrl, you sure? If these were goals that had to be completed by the end of the summer post graduation, then yeah that'd be pretty rough. But she says she's been outta school for 5 years, and if she's just waiting around for Daddy to give her a prince, I should think she'd be able to knock most of this out. 5 years is a long time, and it's not like she's trying to write a dissertation here. heck, she doesn't even have learning a foreign language on that list. what is the point of living if all you're going to do is wait?

[alba]

What is it with fundies' obsession with book reports? This isn't the first time I've seen a young fundie woman talk about writing book reports - something I haven't done since grade 5. I have a degree in English, and I can't see the point of them. If you really want to do some kind of written response to your book, use your brain; analyse it and write an essay, not just a glorified synopsis.

[Pathfinder]

[Rowan]

I'm all for reading but why does she want to write reports on what she reads when she doesn't have to?

Your goals aren't pathetic. I have similar goals.

And from personal experience, #3 is one of the hardest things a person can do. But all three of these can go hand-in-hand and as you make progress on one, others will move towards completion also.

Good luck to both of you - you can do it.

[formergothardite]

At least dancing and/or kissing in the rain is nowhere on the list.

That is what I was thinking. At least she doesn't make painting her nails and slapping a guy a life goal. :lol:

[RosyDaisy]

I'm doing #28.....but not in the way she means. I teach young girls in my church to be strong, educated women and to stand up for not only their rights but the rights of everyone.

[Phoebe]

Well, there's nothing wrong with a list of hobbies you want to get into when you have the time/money. I myself have a mile long list of such things.

Yeah, it is lacking in clear goals for the future, though. Not that mine are much better:

1. Get job

2. Figure out what career I want

3. Recover from depression

Since mine is so pathetic, I don't think I can snark on hers too much :(

It's a huge, huge, huge task to change your brain chemistry (through medications, CBT, meditation, whatever)...don't sell yourself short. I don't know you personally, but please know that you have someone out there pulling for you and your success! :wink-kitty:

[Daenerys]

For those of you who don't know, Mikaela is actually engaged (to a lawyer who attended her church and - gasp! - a real college, called Joel) and the post is here for those who want to read: http://onebrightcorner.blogspot.co.uk/2 ... chive.html

[rward]

So many of her goals are impossible to define, let alone check off a list. "Grow in character"? What does that even mean? How would you measure that? Indefinable, amorphous goals are worse than no goals at all. "Learn Spanish at a conversational level" is a goal. "Grow in character" is not.

[Closed Womb]

2. Read at least one nonfiction book a month and write a report.

So, go to school. This IS college, for the most part. Okay, the "report" is more like a paper or an essay question that appears on a test, maybe a class presentation or even a website. But, if learn something and report about it is really on her life's goals, get thee to a college classroom!

[slickcat79]

"There's no human way to accomplish this"? Gurrrl, you sure? If these were goals that had to be completed by the end of the summer post graduation, then yeah that'd be pretty rough. But she says she's been outta school for 5 years, and if she's just waiting around for Daddy to give her a prince, I should think she'd be able to knock most of this out. 5 years is a long time, and it's not like she's trying to write a dissertation here. heck, she doesn't even have learning a foreign language on that list. what is the point of living if all you're going to do is wait?

Yeah, that was my general reaction :? It sounds like the kind of list that a lot of SAH spouses/parents or retired people/empty-nesters might have. Even young single people, especially if they don't have that pesky education or work crap taking up time. You might find that some of the stuff drops off the list if you find you don't have an aptitude for it, but there's no reason you couldn't try that stuff in 5 years. Especially since a lot of it (especially the vague stuff) would presumably develop while you accomplished the more concrete things.

[fakepigtails73]

LOL I initially read "sew" as "sex."

Probably not on the approved SAHD to do list.

So did I!! :lol: :twisted: