Oh, The Horror! Stacy on IMMODESTLY DRESSED WOMEN

[bea]

The title of the post is "Modesty Fosters Friendship In Women," but it's all about shaming your friends for dressing immodestly.

Oh Stacy. Never change.

http://yoursacredcalling.DOTcom/blog/20 ... riendships

[Austin]

To author of the article in question: if your hostess for the weekend at the beach cabin really was a "precious Christian lady", she would not have humiliated you over a swimsuit of which she didn't approve. That's not what Christians do. That's not loving and it's not nice. As you yourself mention, perhaps knowing you were a new Christian as you say she was the one who "led [you] to the Lord", she might have mentioned something before the weekend so you could have packed accordingly. In the absense of this pre-weekend conversation, she should have kept her mouth closed and behaved like the gracious hostess she was supposed to be. She could have spoken to you privately at another time, at the very least.

Most importantly, though, I hope you pull your head out of your hind end in terms of this whole issue and realize that the whole tempest in a teacup issue called modesty has little to do with true Christianity.

[bea]

I like Stacy's throwaway line about how men are of course responsible for their own lust. Only the whole article is about women dressing modestly, not about these fundie men keeping their damn minds out of the gutter.

[debrand]

I had been walking around in front of my friend’s husband and teen sons all weekend long in a bikini, with just a light, button down shirt thrown over the top of it. Finally, in obvious frustration, she told me I needed to “go put some clothes on!â€

Let me get this straight. An older woman invites a young woman to her beach house and then is upset that the young woman wears appropriate beach attire? If her husband was obviously checking the guest out then she should have been mad at him.

[AnnoDomini]

Honestly, I'm so sick of this modesty thing. yes, I believe in it to a certain extent, but I've always wanted the freedom to choose for myself what to wear, just for myself, and not have to worry about being 'modest enough'. (I still live with my mother, who's big on modesty, and who has passed on her concern to my younger sisters.)

[Witsec6]

One of her commenters says that their youth group has a box full of oversized t-shirts that they make the "bussed-in" girls wear when they're immodestly dressed.

Apparently they take it "surprisingly well".

[fundiefan]

If some man I don't know is oogling me, I'll either give him something to oogle or slap him, depending on whether he's a leering geezer or a hot single guy.

At this point in life, if some dude gets a boner by looking at me in a swimming suit, I'd question his sanity.

No matter, though. It's his responsibility. And if someone told me I had to cover up, I'd turn my back on him/her and walk away. Or, if I was feeling cheeky and quick on the uptake, I might come up with a really passive aggressive sarcastic response.

[Austin]

One of her commenters says that their youth group has a box full of oversized t-shirts that they make the "bussed-in" girls wear when they're immodestly dressed.

Apparently they take it "surprisingly well".

This happened to my niece when a fundie-lite friend invited her to a church youth group event that involved swimming. The youth pastor's wife immediately brought out a big T-shirt that she was supposed to wear, even in the water.

It was very humiliating for her. No one screamed at her or anything, but she was just mortified and shamed. This happened probably four years ago and she still talks about it. She was fragile for a lot of reasons at that time and this was really a very sucky thing for her to have happen.

This happened in another state and I found out about weeks after the fact or else I would have opened a can of whoop ass over the phone with "Mrs. Pastor".

So, yeah, I'm guessing the bus girls are actually NOT "taking is surprisingly well".

[antifundie]

OMG, I can't imagine handing somebody a t-shirt! Let me guess--the boys can swim topless, but it's preferable for women to wear burkas in the water. Ok, got it. I am curious, Austin, what kind of swimsuit your niece was wearing? It doesn't matter, of course, I'm just curious what this woman considered so inappropriate for swimming.

I like to swim at my University's pool, and I have seen some really interesting swimming attire--speedos on very old men, boxer briefs as swim trunks--but you know, we're all pretty much exposed (even in my modest one piece--there's not a lot left to the imagination) so eh. I just don't see getting all worked up about it. The old dudes don't exist for my viewing (dis)pleasure, so if I don't want to look, I don't.

[debrand]

I think that a lot of the posters just want a religious excuse to be nasty to other women. Fish With Trish had a similar article. Maybe fundies are giving themselves the okay to be mean to other women.

When woman dress this way, I am assuming that their marriage is not where it should be because they are seeking the attention of other men. I don’t know….just a thought. I have asked women to pull their tops up saying “My husband does not need to see that.†in reference to their clevege, but that is all I’ve said. I know….I’m a coward. :(

Does this work for both sexes. I have the occasional fantasy myself. I certainly don't think that my husband should tell other men to have smaller muscles or wear longer pants when they jog.

We all occasionally notice other humans in a sexual manner. That doesn't change with marriage no matter how faithful the individual. If a spouse is leering at other people, that is his-or her-fault alone.

[Austin]

OMG, I can't imagine handing somebody a t-shirt! Let me guess--the boys can swim topless, but it's preferable for women to wear burkas in the water. Ok, got it. I am curious, Austin, what kind of swimsuit your niece was wearing? It doesn't matter, of course, I'm just curious what this woman considered so inappropriate for swimming.

It was a two piece. I wouldn't call an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny or anything (she had spent time at our house that summer so I knew the one she was talking about), but it was a two piece. And she's got a beautiful figure, so it fit her great and she looked good in it. She was not "hanging out" or anything like that. It fit her like a two-piece should fit a 16-year-old with a nice figure.

And no, the boys did not have to wear anything on the top.

I am not shocked that this happens at all. This is the way I grew up, and although we did "mixed bathing" at church camp and such, we were always warned within an inch of our lives that no two-piece swimsuits would be tolerated. Just stupid, but whatever. The biggest problem I had with it is the shaming that they did, and not just with their words. Handing a teenager a huge shirt in front of all of their peers is pretty much enough to make it horrible. Furthermore, she was a guest in their presence and they treated her like a leper.

Ack, I still get upset when I think about it.

[Guest Anonymous]

When woman dress this way, I am assuming that their marriage is not where it should be because they are seeking the attention of other men. I don’t know….just a thought. I have asked women to pull their tops up saying “My husband does not need to see that.†in reference to their clevege, but that is all I’ve said. I know….I’m a coward. :(

Good grief! I would dearly love to have someone say that to me so that I could respond with - Then your precious husband needs to avert his philandering fucking eyes! Of course I kind of doubt that it happened at all, we know how fundies like to make shit up so they can brag about it on the internet.

[fundiefan]

Good grief! I would dearly love to have someone say that to me so that I could respond with - Then your precious husband needs to avert his philandering fucking eyes! Of course I kind of doubt that it happened at all, we know how fundies like to make shit up so they can brag about it on the internet.

That's funny. In a pathetic kind of way. When I was married I dressed mostly as I preferred and was comfortable with, but I also dressed in a way my ex liked. He liked me to 'show more' and cover up less; he liked me in more fitted clothes and really hated my beloved over sized sweatshirts.

[Burris]

An older woman, the precious lady who led me to the Lord, became very frustrated with me after she and her family invited me to visit their beach cabin.

I had been walking around in front of my friend’s husband and teen sons all weekend long in a bikini, with just a light, button down shirt thrown over the top of it. Finally, in obvious frustration, she told me I needed to “go put some clothes on!â€

Oh yeah, because that's appropriate - especially coming from a "precious" individual.

I recall wishing that she would have been frank with me about modesty at the beginning of the weekend (privately and gently). Her hesitancy caused her own unnecessary frustration, and it cost me immense humiliation. While I had noticed her coolness toward me that weekend, I hadn’t realized what was causing it.

When Mrs. Precious' attempts at passive-aggression didn't work, she then fell into active aggression and needlessly embarrassed her guest.

Who committed the greater error, here: The younger woman who wore a bikini to the beach, or the older woman who spent all weekend silently stewing about it until such time as she exploded and intentionally humiliated her "friend"?

What a bunch of naval-gazing assholes - the lot of them.

[BlackHawk]

I will say, on behalf of fundie lite boys, we had to wear swim tops. We weren't allowed to be topless nor were the girls allowed to wear two pieces. I don't know if it's the same everywhere, but my church it very much was so. Some of the girls, due to family requirements, wore shorts and a tee to swim with a bathing suit top under that. When the tanks came out a lot of girls at my church did those and male swim shorts. That was okay cause it was more modest.

My partner gets confused that to this day I will not swim without a top. It is a huge self confidence thing I link to growing up having to be covered top to bottom. I don't wear shorts or short sleeves in every day wear either.

I do think if you are going to make it a rule that the girls must be covered, the guys should have to wear swim tops or shirts as well. I wish more fundies would see this double standard. It's annoying.

[Guest Anonymous]

From the comments - If insulting and shaming a woman to her face doesn't make her comply, then go tell her husband to get that bitch in line!

And fundiefan, did you know that your ex was an "emotional pimp?" True story!

Stacy, I’m wondering if there is a sister that is in error and refuses the correction of an older and loving lady in the church about her immodesty…if the correct action then would be to have a godly man in the church go and speak with her husband? If he is the head of the family and all within it are a reflection on him, then shouldn’t he be admonished to step in and remedy the issue? We all know that there are men inside and outside the body of Christ that gain some kind of “ego boost†knowing men are coveting his wife’s body (making him an emotional pimp)… and then there are those that “coast†with their households to the popular things of the culture and go with whatever the females demand. Either way, should “step 2″ be to go to him to get his household in order? And if so, how far are we willing to press the issue with him? Just curious about how you see that scenario.

[Avalondaughter]

Gotta love the photo in that post. Some fundies would hate those dresses. NO SLEEVES.

[Rosa]

When the tanks came out a lot of girls at my church did those and male swim shorts. That was okay cause it was more modest.

Blackhawk, that cracks me up, because that was the "butch lesbian at the beach" outfit of choice when I was in my '20s and the "tankini" and boycut shorts in women's sizes became available.

[BlackHawk]

Blackhawk, that cracks me up, because that was the "butch lesbian at the beach" outfit of choice when I was in my '20s and the "tankini" and boycut shorts in women's sizes became available.

Seriously? LMAO. That is awesome!

[snarkykitty]

Good heavens, I agree with dressing respectfully at church, and considering the attendees at a party, but this girl mentioned was at a BEACH weekend.

This year, I did stop wearing bikinis in front of my (oldest ones are 11 and 12) nephews (I have a tankini now) when swimming, but it's more because a few times when swimming at the beach, the waves decided to play havoc with my top.

I'm sure even my tankini isn't modest enough for these folks, but it's HOT outside, it's more comfortable to wear clothing made for the water (you can drown wearing regular clothing if the circumstances are just right), and my nephews think of their aunt like they do their mothers - old.

In response to this comment on her page:

You post brought tears to my eyes. I still want to cry. I have a friend whose husband said he couldn’t remain sexually pure at church – it was too hard for him. This is so sad. They didn’t demand others to change for them, but they did have to leave, because no one would have acted upon hearing this sincere need.

If a dude can't control his eyes and wang in CHURCH, he has issues.

[antifundie]

Deleted because it was a copy of my post above.

[Austin]

In response to this comment on her page:

You post brought tears to my eyes. I still want to cry. I have a friend whose husband said he couldn’t remain sexually pure at church – it was too hard for him. This is so sad. They didn’t demand others to change for them, but they did have to leave, because no one would have acted upon hearing this sincere need.

If a dude can't control his eyes and wang in CHURCH, he has issues.

No kidding. This dingbat should be crying for a friend that she married such a perv. Sincere need, my ass.

[Maggie Mae]

Good grief! I would dearly love to have someone say that to me so that I could respond with - Then your precious husband needs to avert his philandering fucking eyes! Of course I kind of doubt that it happened at all, we know how fundies like to make shit up so they can brag about it on the internet.

If a woman asked me to pull up my top, saying "My husband does not need to see that," I might just take my shirt off all together, depending on my mood and the event. That kind of shit is NOT cool with me. Women have boobs. Women have cleavage. Get over it.

[tinuviel]

Too hard for him. Snicker. (Okay, done being a ten y.o. boy).

Gotta love how she refers to "sexually explicit body parts". I guess the "explicit" body parts are just as evil as the explicit movies and books. Remind me to recoil in horror next time I note that humans have crotches.

Oh, and her stupid pearl clutching about the "the poor visiting family who has to sit behind the pastor’s daughter who seems to have forgotten her underclothes". It conjures up the vision of a family sitting there averting their eyes and cringing with disgust and horror for the whole duration of the service because the girl's denim-covered ass overwhelms everything else in their immediate environment. There is no escaping the ass! Why are they checking for the girl's underclothes anyway? Creepers.

I guess that woman whose husband struggles with porn will just have to avoid ever going outside at all unless she moves to Saudi Arabia. I can't imagine the immodesty in Wal-Mart is any worse than the immodesty in church. It's obviously the universe's fault that the precious headship has a wild willy!

ETA: Grammar fix. Derp.

[slickcat79]

Stacy also had a post back in April that was a review of the movie Soul Surfer. I haven't seen the movie, but I understand it's based on the true story of a girl who loses her arm in a shark attack while surfing. The movie is supposed to show her tremendous determination, strength and faith to return to surfing with only one arm. Apparently the movie is unacceptable because it's just not Christian enough. Despite the warmth and closeness of the family displayed, despite their prayers and bible verses, and the main character's involvement in youth group and mission trips, they don't talk about Jesus enough. When she says she overcame her obstacles because of her faith...that could mean any religion! Plus, the real kicker: there are bikinis!!11!!1!

Who would think that a movie about surfing would have girls in bikinis in it? AnnaSophia Robb plays the lead character. She was 16 when the movie was filmed and she played a 13-year-old girl. If you are a man who gets off on seeing young teens in bathing suits, you have issues.

yoursacredcalling.com/blog/2011/04/soul-surfer-beaches-bikinis-and%E2%80%A6bibles/