Where Have All The Good Men Gone?

[debrand]

/integrityofthehome.blogspot.com/

We shouldn't have to wonder 'where all the good men have gone', because it is us, yes, women, that have done our culture this great defrauding of men and chivalry. I know you've heard this message in a hundred forms but ladies, we help shape our culture! The men are becoming sissified because the women are 'manning up'.

This annoys me as much as the fundie rants about women being feminine. People aren't walking genitalia. We aren't defined by whether we have penises or vaginas. Some people naturally follow the traditional view of their sex. Most of us don't fall so neatly on the gender lines. We have some traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine characteristics and guess what? That's fine. People get to decide how they fall on the gender spectrum.

Also, we've fought a decade long war, its hard to believably state that the United States is too sissy.

Are we encouraging men in their roles as leader, protector, and provider? Or are we making fun at them for opening the door for us or shoving away their protection in pretense that we can take care of ourselves? Do we give the excuse that the desire is too strong to 'prove ourselves'?

I've never mocked anyone for opening the door for me; however, what am I being protected from? Certainly, if another human is in danger, we should seek to protect them but that is just common decency and shouldn't have anything to do with sex.

Are we sharpening young men in their quest for godliness and character? Or do we merely use them as playthings without brains?

What does she mean?

[ILoveJellybeans]

I know lots of good men.

None of them are fundie.

[crawfishgirl]

Maybe this is her way of creating an excuse of why she isn't married at the ripe old age of 19 - blaming other women for the lack of good men.

[rward]

I hear about feminists mocking or verbally attacking men who open doors for them a lot. Has anyone ever actually done this? Anywhere?

[FJismyheadship]

Where have all the good men gone

Long time passing

Where have all the good men gone

Long time ago

[DistantStar]

A know quite a few good men. Some I know are Christian, though far from fundie. (Two of those are a long-established couple, as in over 30 years. GASP!) Others I have no idea, but they are still good men. As was my dad, who was Jewish.

She is cordially invited to bite me.

And anybody is welcome to open a door for me. I will also open a door for them. Common courtesy.

[Swamptribe]

Maybe this is her way of creating an excuse of why she isn't married at the ripe old age of 19 - blaming other women for the lack of good men.

Well, ya know, it can't be her own fault or her unrealistic expectations. So it must be those godless evil feminists and all the unmanly men out there .

[salex]

I hear about feminists mocking or verbally attacking men who open doors for them a lot. Has anyone ever actually done this? Anywhere?

Probaby not for 40 years, if ever. Honestly, I am happy when someone opens a door for me and always say thank you. If I am in front of someone else, or see someone carrying things or pushing a baby stroller, etc, I'll open the door for them. It is called being human.

[Jinger Jar]

The basic fundie world view is this:

* When they perceive a problem with anything related to family life and/or interpersonal relationships, the blame lies somewhere with women and feminists.

* When they perceive a problem in the wider society, the blame lies somewhere with liberals and feminists.

Can anyone think of an issue fundies obsess over that they *don't* blame on liberals, feminists, or women because I got nothing.

[MajorMajor]

The basic fundie world view is this:

* When they perceive a problem with anything related to family life and/or interpersonal relationships, the blame lies somewhere with women and feminists.

* When they perceive a problem in the wider society, the blame lies somewhere with liberals and feminists.

Can anyone think of an issue fundies obsess over that they *don't* blame on liberals, feminists, or women because I got nothing.

And they are always lamenting the loss of the good old days that never existed.

[August]

I hear about feminists mocking or verbally attacking men who open doors for them a lot. Has anyone ever actually done this? Anywhere?

I don't know, but no one, men included, has ever been anything but polite when I open the door for them.

[debrand]

Under an article entitled,

Taking Dominion by Washing Feet

she writes:

As a daughter, if I am not preparing myself to serve even now, as a mother I will be disillusioned when I am called to daily lay down my life for my spouse, children and God.

What a horribly depressing view of life and marriage. By the way, you can only lay your life down once because you know, death and all that stuff.

integrityofthehome.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2012-05-28T12:34:00-05:00&max-results=7&start=7&by-date=false

[treehugger]

Personally, I am quite glad there are so few "good men" of the fundie persuasion hanging around. The fewer the better. In real life, I know many, many good men - great men, actually. Lots of fantastic guys around, of whom my husband would be tops ;) Of course, they would be deemed sissy men because they happen to respect a woman as a person and are capable of admitting they are wrong sometimes, and showing a little emotion, etc....

Being married to a fundie Good Man would be it's own special version of hell. Macho, manly men, who believe they are king of the universe are really not my type.

[linnea27]

I will never understand fundies' obsession with men holding doors open for women. I am a feminist and I encourage my son to hold doors open. I see it as a gesture of respect. I want him to be like his father, who treats women with respect with small symbolic gestures like holding doors open, but also with things that REALLY matter like caring about the thoughts and feelings and opinions of the women in his life. When push comes to shove, THAT is what makes a good man/person. Fundies, where are you on that one?

[MissA]

Good men are all over the place. I suspect she never meets any of them because as a good eldest daughter in a huge-ass fundie family, she never meets any men period.

Also because she obviously wants to date Alex Cross as played by Jeremy Renner, but that's a much more common flaw:)

[dairyfreelife]

I've always been polite to anyone who holds open the door for me and everyone has been nice about me holding open a door for them.

But, I've also had men hold open a door for one woman and shut the door in my face when I'm right behind them. This has happened at least twice that I can recall. How rude. So, chivalry my ass.

Also, I've had a couple awkward situations with men as well. My father needed to go into a building first because he has the card to get in and I didn't. Because of men hold open doors for women ideas, he tried to argue with me about it. It was embarrassing because he needed to just go in ahead of me. He claimed I embarrassed him and to never again argue with him in public like that, but really, I was the one who was correct. He just refused to budge from his ideas and make life easier on everyone. Seriously, a man isn't less of a man if he goes first sometimes, especially when going first is what makes sense.

Another situation was where I was standing in a group of people and had been seated most of the day. I was fine to stand, but my dad tried to give me his seat and when I said thanks, but I was fine, my mom got pissed, took me aside and said I must sit because women must stay seated. So, I sat down, when I was fine standing and my dad was made to stand. It was all a completely ridiculous situation and I was like 15 at the time, but I didn't understand why men had to give up a seat for women when the woman was just fine standing. I was also, I thought, polite about my refusal to sit, but that didn't matter.

And there are lots of good men in the world. We tend to only hear about the worst of them, not the best.

[dairyfreelife]

Just because it fits here:

JPR108kwNo4

[doggie]

I thought all the good men were gay? I always hear that.

[salex]

Just because it fits here:

JPR108kwNo4

It fits, but I always wondered about "where is my John Wayne" when a lot of the movies with John Wayne showed him as either an absent or distracted partner OR somewhat abusive... didn't he spank his wife pubically in one (at least)>

I don't want a damn John Wayne.

[Trynn]

I have had guys be rude to me when I hold the door open for them. Sometimes they argue and will actually like, put their hand on the door and say they are going to hold it for me. It's like, just say thank you, jeez!

[halfheartedheroine]

So, the ladies have no power because teh menz rule everything, but the ladies have the power to mess up all of society? How is this not paradoxical? (or is it the whole "Eve doomed mankind but she was still a lowly female" thing?)

[Koala]

The men in her life must suck, because most people (men and women alike) that I encounter will hold a door for someone in spite of the fact that the evil feminists are taking over the world. I don't know any that sit and play video games all day since the women are "bringing home the bacon" either, although I did once hear of a fundie gentleman that let his family go without in favor of sitting home all day to read his Bible. Had a submissive wife too. Funny that.

My son will hold a door until I literally tell him he has got to come on- he's being raised by a coupe of Atheist. Polite people don't need someone to pretend to be weaker than them to be polite. They are polite for the sake of being polite.

[oil]

Are we sharpening young men in their quest for godliness and character? Or do we merely use them as playthings without brains?

I merely use them as playthings with out brains.

[fun2beme]

Another situation was where I was standing in a group of people and had been seated most of the day. I was fine to stand, but my dad tried to give me his seat and when I said thanks, but I was fine, my mom got pissed, took me aside and said I must sit because women must stay seated. So, I sat down, when I was fine standing and my dad was made to stand. It was all a completely ridiculous situation and I was like 15 at the time, but I didn't understand why men had to give up a seat for women when the woman was just fine standing. I was also, I thought, polite about my refusal to sit, but that didn't matter.

And there are lots of good men in the world. We tend to only hear about the worst of them, not the best.

I work in D.C. and frequently run into the opposite situation. My 7-month pregnant friend and I were standing on the train since there were no empty seats. You'd be shocked at how many men saw us and didn't offer her their seat. Of course, I could say the same for the women who were seated and didn't budge. Though according to the fundies, my friend deserved to not be treated like a lady since she was obviously on her way home from work. And may have been wearing pants. And we work for the ebil government.

[CynicMom]

As a pregnant woman on the Boston subway I once had to sit down on the floor because I was sick and no one offered their seat to me. Then I got in the habit of just asking people to move. It had a 100% success rate.

Also:

Where have all the good men gone

and where are all the Gods?

Where's the street-wise Hercules

to fight the rising odds?

Isn't there a white-knight atop a mighty steed?

Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need!

Of course, I always thought the above was a masturbation fantasy, not a real thing.