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Texas Weighs Ban on Women


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This would sure take care of the problems of texas fast.

AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report)—Republican lawmakers in the Texas State Senate are proposing a precedent-setting new bill that would make it illegal for women to live in the state.

Senator Harland Dorrinson, one of the many pro-life lawmakers backing the woman ban, crafted his bill after witnessing Senator Wendy Davis filibuster an anti-abortion bill last month.

“That was our moment to say, ‘Enough is enough,’ †he said. “This comes down to a choice between life and women, and we choose life.â€

Senator Dorrinson said his bill would call for a twenty-foot woman-proof fence to be constructed along the borders of the state.

“Women are great at talking, but not at climbing,†he observed.

But another G.O.P. state senator, Cal Jamson, believes that the total ban on women goes “too far†and is proposing a less draconian bill that would allow some women to remain in the state as guest workers.

“Texas needs women to cook, clean, and cheerlead,†he said. “If they show that they can do those things and stay out of politics, there could be a pathway to citizenship.â€

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I googled this and found the orignal article in the New Yorker. Does the New Yorker usually engage in satire?

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  • 4 weeks later...
:serious: This has got to be a joke.

It's Texas. I wouldn't put anything past them at this point in time.

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The Borowitz Report is a humor/satire column. Sometimes he's so subtle it's hard to tell.

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The Borowitz Report is a humor/satire column. Sometimes he's so subtle it's hard to tell.

This is not one of those times.

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Snap! I just posted something along these lines in the other thread that got jacked by someone :embarrassed: about the digital probing by a trooper. It really seems the TX legislature hates women. I wish all the women in TX could organize a move across state lines to take place on one certain day. Just all leave at once. Leave it to the men. Maybe that would get the legislature's attention? Not realistic, but it's a satisfying thought for me for some reason.

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I have a better idea. I'm willing to get together with some of my fellow FJ Texans, hog-tie both Dorrinson and Jamson, and toss both of them across state lines. That way, we no longer have to deal with their stupidity.

What say you, fellow Free Jingerites?

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This joke may turn into reality unless we vote all these misogynistic Republicans out of office.

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