The Modesty Experiment

[rward]

I think it's one thing if the challenge is something artificial, like reading the entire encyclopedia in a year. I get bothered when people attempt to live how other people live (or how they think other people live) for a year. This blogger was so glad to get back to "normal" after a year, but for other people it is either their own normal they want to follow or it is a situation that, for one reason or another, they can't leave. It reminds me of when a news anchor in Chicago made a huge deal of doing a "social experiment" where he was "homeless" for one night. I'm sure he was glad to get back to his comfy house after that one-night ordeal. Too bad it's not that easy for actual homeless people.

The praise we give politicians for living on food stamps for one week bothers me. That's not even close to the experience of crushing poverty for a year, let alone a lifetime. But sure, they totes get it now.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I thought the blog was interesting enough for at least a few minutes of my time.

She acknowledges the point that there is a world of difference between being forced to dress a certain way, and making a choice to dress that way.

At the same time...the blog doesn't, and can't, really address the dynamics within communities where modest dress is expected. She is clearly doing this as a counter-cultural experiment. That's fine and valid on its own, as long as nobody thinks that any conclusions can really be applied to communities where modest dress is the norm. She may have seen the Hasidic women of Brooklyn as bucking the fashion rules of New York society, but they were also conforming to their own, to an extent that she may not have been able to appreciate. Men and women still focus on beauty - they may just express it in different ways (like the Muslim woman I saw in Sephora - covered head to toe in black abaya and niqab and even gloves, but very intent on buying the right eyeliner). Eating disorders still exists. Both men and women can get to a point of focusing on relatively minor details and investing tons of meaning in them, so that a flash of collarbone, or a kneecap showing under a skirt when someone sits down, or a stray hair sticking out suddenly becomes a Big Deal.

For another perspective, read http://bycommonconsent.com/2013/06/18/m ... d-modesty/ (not breaking link because although it's Mormon, it's not a fundie blog) and http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-life-an ... ts-squeeze (Tablet magazine, not a fundie blog).

[salex]

That is some serious pre-Raphaelite hair right there. Kinda jealous of the young lady on the far right, truth be told. Her hair is gorgeous!

My baby sister similar hair to this--probably down to her knees or longer-- until she was about 40. the thing was, in general, she wore it braided or up. When she hit 40, some health issues and just tired of dealing with it she cut it. It is still long, but it is not "that" long. She/we were never pentecostal. She just decided when she was in about second grade that she liked long hair. Somewhere in my parents old photos is a picture of a grandmother or greatgrandmother with hair nearly down to her feet--

[AtroposHeart]

Honestly, anytime I hear about a woman dressing "modesty" now a days, I resist the urge to roll the eyes.

It just that some many conservative/fundie women just so self-righteous about modesty, that I can't them seriously.

[Mama Mia]

Even w/o the head pain, it can be kinda awful.

(My hair is long, usually somewhere between bra-strap and waist. Used to wear it longer [also have buzzed everything below the ears, so I've hit both extremes :)])..

The problems of hair in the toilet that arise as soon as it's long enough to sit on are considerable. Dealing w/ it while sick (in any form of sick) and having to scrub ick out of it is...incredibly disgusting.

It gets rolled up in car windows, it catches on chairs, people (my husband) accidentally sit/lay/place books/something on the ends so you're trapped until you can get them to move--or you leave scalp behind. Kittens climb it at 2 am, babies can get thoroughly tangled in it, toddlers attempt to use it as a rope ladder...

I consider 'moderately long' hair worth it--obviously, because I have it. But if I *HAD* to keep it long, I'd be resentful as fuck, because it can be a royal PITA. (and I'd probably start taking it out by the roots ASAP :pull-hair: :wink-penguin: )

My 3 year old granddaughter had gorgeous thick black hair down to the top of her legs, her mom had to trim it to waist length because of the hygiene issues. Once she stops having an aversion to pony tails she'll probably let it get super long again.

[miffy]

Unfortunately, hair growth does not work like that, the maximum length your hair can reach is determined by the amount it grows per month and the lifespan of the individual hair before it will stop growing and ultimately fall out.

So her hair will not continue growing endlessly, although she certainly has good genetic material, evident by the shorter her of the other girls who are equally "uncut",, but having never cut her hair and being grown, having gone through one or two complete growth-circles of her hair, I suppose she has already reached terminal length and her hair will most likely not grow much longer.

*sigh* I'm so jealous, I'm aiming for super-long hair myself, but I just don't have the genes for it, if I can reach extreme lengths has to be seen, but my hair is quite thin, so the ends will look forever scraggly.

Have you tried taking biotin & silicea?

[Cran]

I appreciate people are trying to help me grow my hair, but as mentioned before, I am a member of two hair care forums, I really do know the tricks of thetrade and all about supplements, wearing hair up, S&D etc. etc. - but a hairtype 1bIIm is just that, and will never become 1bIIIc. Thanks.

[ladyaudley]

I appreciate people are trying to help me grow my hair, but as mentioned before, I am a member of two hair care forums, I really do know the tricks of thetrade and all about supplements, wearing hair up, S&D etc. etc. - but a hairtype 1bIIm is just that, and will never become 1bIIIc. Thanks.

I feel ya. I'm between 1a and 1b ( one single tiny wave at the bottom!), between i and ii and m. Stalled between APL and BSL for six months now :(

AAAANYWAY! Back on topic? Erm... I suppose we can conclude Lauren hated it because she did it for the wrong reasons and the wrong way. But yes, for a book deal, it has to be polarising.

I read A Year of Biblical Womanhood and actually quite enjoyed it! But I think that was because she didn't just blindly follow stuff; she did some research, she asked people who do things every day, she then tried them out.

[DracoGinny]

When I read about I thought that it came off as very insulting to people who do head coverings. She talked like she would aviod catcalls if she covered her hair. The woman I know who wear hajib are VERY fashionable, the take great care of their hair and style in very beautiful ways. She just wanted to draw attention to herself.

On the long hair topic, I maybe cut my hair once every 4 years or so, to trim the ends off, and my hair doesn't, get much longer than the half way point between my bra and my waist. I'm so jealous over those girls hair!

[Bookworm]

Another LHC member here, I love those girls' hair too! Mine is terminal at hip length and I would love the length and volume those girls have. Re: the modesty blogger, it's a bit disturbing how she describes meeting her fiance. To each their own, I guess...

[Cran]

OT: Maybe we should open a LHC-offspin-Free-Jingerites-grow-your-hair-topic in chatter to, well, chatter about hair and give links to interesting LHC-topics and stuff :)

[Anny Nym]

That is some serious pre-Raphaelite hair right there. Kinda jealous of the young lady on the far right, truth be told. Her hair is gorgeous!

HOLY HECK! Cousin It was a Pentecostal?!?

Well, you learn something new everyday... :mrgreen:

[2xx1xy1JD]

Someone talk to me about increasing volume. My hair is straight, fine and VERY thin - so much so that I look like a have a receding hairline and my scalp shines through.

[Vex]

Someone talk to me about increasing volume. My hair is straight, fine and VERY thin - so much so that I look like a have a receding hairline and my scalp shines through.

I'm not a member of any hair care forums or anything, but I have the same hair type as you and I've discovered a few things that helped.

I used to use an amazing home-made shampoo that was sold by a lady over ebay. It had royal jelly, vitamin E and collagen in it and cost about $6 a bottle. I began using it right after having my hair cut and when I went back 6 weeks later for a trim my hairdresser noticed right away how much thicker, stronger and fuller my hair was. Sadly, ScentedBlossom no longer sells the shampoo so I've had to move on to other products. They're far more expensive and they're full of chemicals but they do seem to help. I use Redkin Body Full shampoo and David Babaii Ultimate Volume conditioner. Both retail for about $20 per bottle. I also find it's useful to spray a little dry shampoo on my roots, it gives me a decent amount of volume. A simple sea salt texturing spray can also really help with volume.

If there are better quality shampoos out there (preferably with similar ingredients to the home made shampoo I mentioned), I'd love to know about them.

Sorry to stray OT.

It infuriates me how fundie women go on ad nauseum about modest clothing but totally ignore the fact modesty is about not drawing attention to yourself. They're damn proud of the stares their 'modest' clothes draw, they want people to look at them and know they're different, and that's pretty much the opposite of modesty.

Many of the Muslim women at my university wear Burqua, but they're certainly not doing it for attention. The Muslim women who don't dress quite as strictly wear scarfs to cover their hair, but they also dress in a way that is stylish and modest - actually modest, not 'look at how modest I am!' modest.

[Jinger Jar]

Someone talk to me about increasing volume. My hair is straight, fine and VERY thin - so much so that I look like a have a receding hairline and my scalp shines through.

Coconut oil. You can find tons of info online about coconut oil and how it promotes hair grown and improves hair volume and condition, so I won't go into it here. I'll just add I've been using it weekly as a pre-wash treatment and scalp massage for around 18 months, and my hair's gone from needing three twists with an elastic to to make a pony tail to needing just two.

[FJismyheadship]

I could cover myself up, wear skirts all the time, and grow out my hair. Unfortunately, I would still not be modest because I like loud and flashy clothes. Even at work, I still wear funky socks and earrings. The dress code is relaxed (if your shirt is blue and your pants are somewhere between white and dark brown, we really don't care) which is not the norm (the store across town is strict) I can wear a bright teal shirt or bedazzles navy... one day I got away with black pants with sequins. Anyways I could not be considered modest because I like bright clothes and accesories.

[Sobeknofret]

I tend toward the conservative mode of dress, mostly because I'm a fashion idiot and have trouble telling what looks good on me and what doesn't. Khakis and a button-down shirt are my idiot-proof go-to's :lol: Plain colored capri's and light cotton skirts with leggings in the summer, and khakis in the winter are standard uniform for me. And comfy shoes-- comfort before fashion always!

ETA: I should say, I do love fashion and bright, colorful clothes on other people. I'm just insecure about how they'd look on *me*

[Just Not Good]

I love that I've picked up many haircare tips from this thread!

When my parents lived in Jeddah, my mother sent me care packages of the most appallingly immodest designer ("it was 90% off, JNG! Could not resist!") clothing she'd picked up there. Her descriptions of the women's rooms at weddings were unbelievable. Not all modesty is about being homely, and I'm fairly disgusted that someone could get cash money to write an article about modesty that wholly ignored that.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I appreciate people are trying to help me grow my hair, but as mentioned before, I am a member of two hair care forums, I really do know the tricks of thetrade and all about supplements, wearing hair up, S&D etc. etc. - but a hairtype 1bIIm is just that, and will never become 1bIIIc. Thanks.

Ooh. Is there a handy chart for the codes? Googling doesn't seem to bring up anything really obvious...

I realize about the "every person has a natural maximum length" thing but not much details beyond that. Still, seeing the girls in that pic with hair down to at least the knees, surely even their "up dos" must be huge? I remember some tumblr about "FLDS hair" and they had extremely elaborate braids and twists, if they have hair like this girl that explains it!

(Short hair, here... though at one point in junior high I did have hair down to the waist, I think that's my personal maximum though I did always cut it to make sure it was straight across in back.)

As for modesty, if I ever wear a skirt it's always below the knee. That was the requirement of my school uniform back in the day which is the last time I ever often wore skirts, and I don't like to worry about having to sit some certain way or not, so if I have a skirt I get calf length or below the knee at least. I guess now it's just retro.

I had a skirt suit, it was below the knee, I was asked if I am religious, no, I just don't like short skirts on myself! But pretty much always now I just wear pants.

ETA: I should say, I do love fashion and bright, colorful clothes on other people. I'm just insecure about how they'd look on *me*

I hear ya, I hear ya...

[Cran]

It's called "Fia's hair typing system" - long hair people are indeed crazy in their own way!

http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/sh ... php?t=8954