Sometimes I forget what the south is like

[paganhomeschooler]

Move to the outskirts of Charlotte! You have rural living within 20 minutes of the city (Check out Matthews, NC- the hotspot of homeschooling!). There are definitely conservative homeschoolers, but also large secular homeschooling community. The schools SUCK here, so there are tons and TONS and tons of resources along with support groups. And with the city nearby, tons of museums and other educational opportunities...

Whatever you do, stay clear of Cleveland, GA. My right-wing, nut job, uber conservative, gay-bashing, racist family members have congregated there....one of them is even SOTDRT "homeschooling" their spoiled brat daughter. It's a good thing my proudly liberal Democrat, equal rights for all grandmother is too confused to know what her progeny has turned into. No offense to anyone from FJ who may be around there. It just seems like there is an overabundance of the cray-cray. I've actually moved them all to my "acquaintance" list on FB so I don't have to see their drivel anymore. We have some openly homosexual family members, and the wife of my cousin used to send gay-bashing emails to the whole family, including them! I told her where she could shove it and made sure aforementioned family members knew I was there for them and didn't care what those morons thought.

[thoughtful]

I recommend watching the Daily Show clip to anyone who is bothered by the generalizations (they bother me, too) -- the point to it is (under a spoiler in case you want to be surprised) . . .

people in both states were perfectly fine, even congratulatory, to two guys posing as a gay couple.

[kamcho_papio]

Well you know we have this saying here in good 'ol Bama: "Thank God for Mississippi". Interpret that however you want. Being from Alabama I'm pro-gay marriage.

Heh, as a former Mississippian, we said "thank god for Arkansas." I'm not from Mississippi, but every so often I consider that it wasn't the worst four years in my adult life.

And I'm so glad other people understand that clenching in the stomach of something in the news, that "please don't be from Mississippi" feeling.

[Vex]

My best friend is gay and from a small town in Tennessee. You could not pay me to live there (or anywhere else in the US, actually). There are some lovely things about the South on the surface - many people seem to be very polite, some of the country is absolutely breathtaking, there's some really interesting traditions and food, but for me the history of racism and continued prejudice against anyone who isn't white, heteronormative and Christian is insurmountable.

I'm white, but I'm also gay, female and an atheist. The South would be a bad place for me.

I don't mean to apply stereotypes. Obviously I know not all people from the South are rednecks, or Christian, or racists, or homophobes. I don't know anyone black who's from the south, but I do know my best friend's experiences as a gay man there and that combined with the history of racism, the overwhelmingly Christian population and the continued issues with things such as abortion rights and insanely loose gun laws is what scares me off. I really don't find the north that much better in any of those regards, which is why although I'm happy to visit there or work there temporarily and a lot of my friends are American, I just couldn't live there.

To be fair, Australia has massive issues with racism too. One thing I like about America is that when people like politicians say racist or sexist things they're called on it and tend to get raked over the coals. Here, politicians make racist, sexist and homophobic remarks and they're congratulated and voted Prime Minister.

[Rachel333]

Heh, as a former Mississippian, we said "thank god for Arkansas." I'm not from Mississippi, but every so often I consider that it wasn't the worst four years in my adult life.

And I'm so glad other people understand that clenching in the stomach of something in the news, that "please don't be from Mississippi" feeling.

We say "thank god for Mississippi" in Arkansas. I didn't know it went the other way around, too. :lol:

I'm missing Arkansas badly right now (and I'm gay, female, and an atheist--NW Arkansas isn't so bad).

I encountered a lot more blatant racism in New Zealand than I ever did in Arkansas. That was the first time I heard any anti-Semitism, for one thing, and the only time I've seen people dress in blackface at costume parties. I went to one huge party where there were literally hundreds of people in blackface ("jungle" was one of the themes). There was a whole lot less homophobia, though, and no one really cared if you were religious or not.

I'm in a rural area of a blue state right now, and it's about as bad as the South, and definitely worse than NW Arkansas.

[RosyDaisy]

I was born, raised, and still live in Alabama. I'm also a progressive, liberal, pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and a Christian. Hell, I stick out in my own family... But you know what? I will not abandon hope for my home state. I chose to stay and fight. By leaving, I'm only giving the ultra conservative fundies what they want. No way in hell am i going to let that happen.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Yesterday it was in the news that a mon made her son a kkk costume for Halloween. They trick or treated like that. What's the big deal, she asked. It's a family tradition.

Then I signed a change.org petition to ask a school board to change the high schools name. Currently it's Nathan Bedford Forrest HS. Despite it now being half black with a black principal, and despite the current KKK petitioning FOR it to remain NBFHS, the school board voted to keep its name!

Those two stories are examples of some southern lunacy.

[twinmama]

Yes, I would tend to agree, that at least in my part of the North, friendliness is doled out in small doses. It is up to the newcomer to get out there and socialize. You're statement is not untrue in my neck of the woods. Being "overly friendly" is often looked at suspiciously here.

I'm from the tristate area and this is so so true. I am not a fan of visiting my family in the south sometimes because everyone in every store has to have a damn conversation about everything. I don't want to talk to the check out person at the grocery store, I want to pay and leave :) Northerner at heart here. I am completely pleasant to strangers, I smile and nod, I will hold doors from far away and always let people of the right of way when walking or whatever. But I'm just not going to randomly chat up a stranger. I have friends, I don't need more. It all seems very fake to me, all that pointless small talk.

[Vex]

About blackface over in Aus/NZ:

Generally blackface isn't considered offensive in Australia and New Zealand because the things that make it so egregious in the US aren't a part of our culture or history (by that I mean African slavery, minstrel shows and the like), and people don't seem to understand its context in US history. We aren't PC and most people would see it as a harmless joke. I think it's needless and utterly disrespectful, but I also know it's generally not done with any intention to mock or offend. It isn't a cultural taboo here.

It's actually surprising how many Aboriginal people and other people of colour have defended blackface on the rare occasion it has been in the media, and I have to say it's pretty disappointing. I feel like here, nobody wants to be that one person who ruins someone's 'fun' by bringing up political correctness. It's an attitude very prevalent in our culture where the larrikin is a figure of worship and authority is mocked and looked upon with scorn.

I am not for a moment defending the people who think it's harmless. I just want to explain that it's not done with malice. That's the only thing I'm willing to say in our defense, but there is no excuse for being so insensitive. It's just extremely ignorant, and people have no fucking idea how racist it is because when it comes to political correctness Australia and New Zealand are still stuck in the last century. We suck like that.

[HereticHick]

My main problem with the sweeping generalizations that the South is a monolithic place totally populated by WHITE fundamentalist Christians is that it marginalizes us Southerners who happen to NOT be White (spoiler alert! there are still black people in the South, as well as other non-white folks). And I often feel that the white fundy bible-thumpers want to pretend that we aren't there, and the South is just a paradise full of gracious, godly Confederate reenactors. Or will be, once the fundies have disenfranchised the rest of us.

[flubber]

We say "thank god for Mississippi" in Arkansas. I didn't know it went the other way around, too. :lol:

I'm missing Arkansas badly right now (and I'm gay, female, and an atheist--NW Arkansas isn't so bad).

I encountered a lot more blatant racism in New Zealand than I ever did in Arkansas. That was the first time I heard any anti-Semitism, for one thing, and the only time I've seen people dress in blackface at costume parties. I went to one huge party where there were literally hundreds of people in blackface ("jungle" was one of the themes). There was a whole lot less homophobia, though, and no one really cared if you were religious or not.

I'm in a rural area of a blue state right now, and it's about as bad as the South, and definitely worse than NW Arkansas.

I'm surprised at that...I've never heard any anti-Semitism in NZ...but that was probably because no one even knew what a Jew was/is outside the context of Anne frank, the holocaust and Fran Dresher.

The black face? It's not something that has racial connotations for kiwis. It was probably shoe polish and cheaper than camo paint for a jungle theme dress up. :lol: :lol:

I agree on the religion thing though. Even here in Australia people are much more 'outwardly' religious than in NZ. In NZ you are, you aren't, you don't care, you don't discuss it, and no one give two hoots either way. :clap: :clap: How it should be.

[Rachel333]

By anti-Semitism, I mean I heard stuff like "they're such Jews about it" used as an insult. I didn't get the impression that the people saying it actually had anything against Jewish people, but it really shocked me to hear that kind of language used so casually.

If you're curious [link=http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/keg-party-success-despite-police-shut-down-4794718/video]here[/link] is a video of a news report about one of the parties I went to. You can see various revelers in black face throughout. And it looks like the two themes that lead to those costumes were actually "tribal" and "out of Africa." (I went with the Smurf theme myself.)

I loved New Zealand, by the way. I made a lot of great friends there and would go back in a heartbeat.

[J'ean Skirt]

My main problem with the sweeping generalizations that the South is a monolithic place totally populated by WHITE fundamentalist Christians is that it marginalizes us Southerners who happen to NOT be White (spoiler alert! there are still black people in the South, as well as other non-white folks). And I often feel that the white fundy bible-thumpers want to pretend that we aren't there, and the South is just a paradise full of gracious, godly Confederate reenactors. Or will be, once the fundies have disenfranchised the rest of us.

I don't the fact that many individuals on the street didn't do anything blatantly bigoted doesn't mean anything when they get into that voting booth. I do expect that, despite the friendliness and support demonstrated in that daily show piece, that neither state will vote to legalize gay marriage any time soon.