Fundiest Pick Up Line Ever!

[twin2]

Today I had a guy use the fundiest pick-up line on me ever.

To set the scene, a little about me. I work at a place where there is no real dress code, the attire is anywhere from business-casual to casual-Friday. In the summer I'm usually in a loose fit, flowy skirt (not for modesty issues but because they are super comfy, cool and look nice). My tops are usually boring. I like solid color stuff (all colors of the rainbow) usually mid-length sleeve, various necklines, but usually not too low cut. If I'm in a short sleeve shirt I usually have a light cardigan or shrug on because it can get cold in the building. I don't like jewelry, it annoys me, so I only wear a watch on one wrist and a bangle bracelet on the other. My hair is usually up in a bun, because its easy, though sometimes I actually do it and wear it down where it is wavy an hits my shoulders.

So today, I run down to the cafeteria to grab lunch before a teleconference. While standing at the soda machine filling up my cup this guy comes over and says "Hi there, sorry to disturb you, but you look like a woman of strong faith, are you?" I said something like "Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean." He said, "You look like a woman who trusts in god, goes to church." Then I said something like, "Oh, well I don't really go to church now, did when I was growing up. Guess I've gotten lazy." (I wanted to tell him, well actually, I'm a moderator on an internet forum that snarks on Christian fundamentalists). Then there was some small talk about my region and where I grew up. Then he said, "I've been noticing you. You really stand out in the crowd here. In a good way. You always look so nice an womanly. Dressed so nicely in a skirt and so little jewelry. So lovely and refreshing." I thanked him and some more small talk until I had to excuse myself to go to my meeting. I was dying inside trying not to laugh. Ran up to my office an called into my meeting and IM'd my co-worker that I was coming down to her office after my meeting to tell her about the guy down in the cafe that gave me the worst pick-up line ever. When I told her she was like WTF? Good laugh for a Friday.

[lizziesmom]

I think on Monday you should go to work in shorts (if allowed at your job) or crops, the skimpiest top you are comfortable in, sandals and lots of jewelry. If you can find a way to work in bracelets supporting gays, cancer research and pro choice groups that would be awesome. Then seek him out and offer to buy him a drink after work. I'd love to see the reaction. :pink-shock:

[happy atheist]

My hair is usually up in a bun, because its easy, though sometimes I actually do it and wear it down where it is wavy an hits my shoulders.

:o

I refuse to believe you don't have ringlets like your avatar!

[twin2]

:o

I refuse to believe you don't have ringlets like your avatar!

Actually, when I was younger I did. My hair is naturally curly, it held the curl when I was younger, but not really anymore. My parents have a pic of twin1 and I when we are about 2ish with ringlets like Nellie (black though not blond).

[alchemy]

If you can't wear the woman of weak faith attire, I'm sure the readers here could come up with a nice list of books and magazines you could be spotted reading in the cafeteria.

[RachelB]

If you can't wear the woman of weak faith attire, I'm sure the readers here could come up with a nice list of books and magazines you could be spotted reading in the cafeteria.

Yes, yes, yes! Bitch magazine: a feminist response to pop culture.

Here's a story. The bus I ride runs past two high schools, so it's often full of students in the afternoon. One day there was a teenage boy shaming a couple of his female classmates for being "mouthy and vulgar." (Whatever. They were somewhat louder than I'd prefer, but not memorably obnoxious, and he was at least as loud as they were. But he's a dude, so he's entitled. :roll: ) He pointed at me, reading, and said, "Why can't you be more like her? Ladylike!"

I turned around, gave his female friends as sympathetic a face as I could, then showed him my copy of Bitch. Much "You got pwned!" ensued.

[PennySycamore]

I think on Monday you should go to work in shorts (if allowed at your job) or crops, the skimpiest top you are comfortable in, sandals and lots of jewelry. If you can find a way to work in bracelets supporting gays, cancer research and pro choice groups that would be awesome. Then seek him out and offer to buy him a drink after work. I'd love to see the reaction. :pink-shock:

I've got the perfect piece of jewelry for you. A friend of mine was on the national Board of NOW. She always wears a tiny coathanger on a delicate gold chain around her neck to signify we won't go back on abortion rights. I've got a little bracelet of rainbow beads to signify gay pride and you can fairly easily make one yourself with beads and leather or sisal cord. There's also the red ribbon that's easy to make. I also found a headband set at Target recently that would make a great rainbow flag with a little tweaking. There's not a red headband and you'd probably have to cut some of the bands at the end and glue them together as it would be hard to wear 6 headbands all at once. Narrow ribbons stitched together would probably work better.

[sheltonLE]

great story! this was so much fun to read. :D thank you!

[Mudball]

I say go in sleeveless, with your upper arms covered in tattoos. Pentagram tattoos. :twisted:

[PennySycamore]

If you can't wear the woman of weak faith attire, I'm sure the readers here could come up with a nice list of books and magazines you could be spotted reading in the cafeteria.

Here are some books for you:

The Feminine Mystique -Betty Friedan -the classic

Against Our Will: Men, Women and Rape -Susan Brownmiller (lots of Congresscritters need to read this)

Our Bodies, Ourselves -Boston Women's Health Book Collective (guaranteed to blow his mind)

The Female Eunuch -Germaine Greer

The Dialectic of Sex: The Case for Feminist Revolution -Shulamith Firestone

Backlash: The Undeclared War Against Women -Susan Faludi

Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Woldwide -Nicholas D. Kristoff and Sheryl WuDunn

[twin2]

I think on Monday you should go to work in shorts (if allowed at your job) or crops, the skimpiest top you are comfortable in, sandals and lots of jewelry. If you can find a way to work in bracelets supporting gays, cancer research and pro choice groups that would be awesome. Then seek him out and offer to buy him a drink after work. I'd love to see the reaction. :pink-shock:

Shorts are probably not an option, little too casual, but I do have some knee-length capris which would work. I definitely have some "I've got BOOBS" shirts. For shoes, I think I would go with my REI sandals. Jewelry is a issue. Like I said, I don't like it so I don't have any, however my two pants-wearing harlots of co-workers have some serious bling I could borrow.

For something to read don't know if I should go for something feminist in nature or something sinful like a Cosmo.

[miffy]

Do you have pieced ears?

http://www.erikapenashop.com/obama-earrings-gold/ :D

[Loveday]

Shorts are probably not an option, little too casual, but I do have some knee-length capris which would work. I definitely have some "I've got BOOBS" shirts. For shoes, I think I would go with my REI sandals. Jewelry is a issue. Like I said, I don't like it so I don't have any, however my two pants-wearing harlots of co-workers have some serious bling I could borrow.

For something to read don't know if I should go for something feminist in nature or something sinful like a Cosmo.

Cosmo, definitely. Every cover has at least three or four big, bold, can't miss 'em references to SEX or ORGASMS or SIZE REALLY MATTERS. :lol:

[kpmom]

Do you have pieced ears?

http://www.erikapenashop.com/obama-earrings-gold/ :D

:lol:

Would he get the Obama reference, or would he think she's a fan of Alabama football (which is a religion all to itself)?

[August]

Don't you wish you'd thought to say "well, thank you! My wife rides me so hard with her strap on that a skirt helps ease the chafing during the day. You look like a man of strong faith yourself, which church do you attend?" with a really cheery pleasant smile.

[bananacat]

Honestly, that guy sounds creepy and threatening. He has been noticing you for some time, and apparently imagining you fitting into the role of ideal mate. Fundies tend to have entitlement complexes and I would actually be afraid that he will start badgering you if he keeps thinking you're fundie, or else he might get angry if you shatter his image of you as a fundie. He seems like bad news all around.

[duplessis3]

I'd think reading 50 shades of grey would work.

[ari_belle]

I'd think reading 50 shades of grey would work.

unless he's sheltered enough to have never heard of it!

[Mela99]

Honestly, that guy sounds creepy and threatening. He has been noticing you for some time, and apparently imagining you fitting into the role of ideal mate. Fundies tend to have entitlement complexes and I would actually be afraid that he will start badgering you if he keeps thinking you're fundie, or else he might get angry if you shatter his image of you as a fundie. He seems like bad news all around.

Got a close girl friend? Pay her to come visit and smooch you.

[Chowder Head]

Bright whore red nail polish to show off with the sandles. :dance:

[Peppercorn]

Great post.

My suggestion: Remain modest. Locate the local branch of Gloria Dei Lutheran. Invite him to attend. Once he's seated, whisper that the titular "Gloria" is actually Steinam.

Bonus points for emphasizing titular.

[Anny Nym]

Next time, he´s creeping you up between the sandwich stand and the bagel table, tell him in in you best interpretation of a cheerful Poor Sarah "You know, our last conversation actually had some impact on me. I´ve decided to return to my childhood´s church and to take up bible-reading again."

Then you fish this little book out of you purse and skip away while paging through. Also, try to hum a little song ... :twisted: