Men Want Wives Like Their Grandmothers

[RosyDaisy]

Apparently Lori doesn't know about Southern grandmothers. Most are not obedient little helpmeets. They had to work just as hard as their husbands.

I told my only living grandmother the story about Grandma Duggar getting injured while skiing and JimBob not allowing any men to help (can't remember the thread, but it was here on FJ). My grandma said she would stick her ski up her son's ass if he pulled a stunt like that. She also said she would make sure her granddaughters didn't grow up like "them Duggar and Bates gals". To her credit (and of course my parents), her only 2 granddaughters didn't grow up that way.

[Mrs Ms]

I'm positive my partner doesn't want me to be like his grandmothers! One died before he was born, even though his parents were 20 when he came along and the other one also died on the young side after a very long (20 year?) struggle with MS.

Also pretty sure that he doesn't want me to be like my grandmothers. Both had abusive husbands who left them to raise 3 and 4 young kids respectively. Both have got many, many heath problems. I'm fairly sure he wants me to have a long, healthy and happy life.....

What I find hysterically funny, is the fact that Lori thinks men want wives like their grandmothers - without looking in the mirror! Most of the Fundy-blogging Mothers are FIRST GENERATION FUNDIES. Which means their own mothers weren't like them :lol: No wonder their sons want wives like grandma!

No biblical-reasoned child abuse? No courtship nonsense? No SOTDRT edumacation? No utter paranoia of "the world"? No KJV "helpmeet" style marriage?

Some would say that DOES sound wonderful.... lol

[curlytoes79]

I don't have a grandparent story, but it's weird to see that "Susie Homemaker" image on her blog. I'm not used to seeing it presented without irony; usually there's a snarky comment attached to it ("Ahh...I finally got the blood out of this frying pan")

[lorem ipsum]

The legendary family story about my husband's grandmother is how she once smacked the shit out of her husband with a cast iron frying pan.

I'm fairly confident that my husband is relieved I'm not like his grandmother. :P

[SpeakNow]

My mom's mother was quite a bit "rebellious." After high school, she wanted to go to college so he could become a teacher. Her mother told her that there was no need for a woman to go to college and she would not support such nonsense. My grandmother got a job to pay for her own college education, and became a third grade teacher. My grandfather (they met because his best friend was dating-and later married- my grandmother's sister) proposed to my grandmother on their first date. They eloped a week later and kept the whole thing under wraps...until the marriage license was mailed to the neighbor by accident. The neighbor congratulated my great grandmother on the marriage. Suffice to say great-grandma was quite surprised.

She and my grandfather had 4 children, and she was a working mom. She absolutely loved teaching. She was a terrible cook though. When I was a child my parents would go to the McDonalds drive through before any meal at her house. He thought chicken ought to be cooked in the oven for at least 3 hours. Lol

Edited because I do know how to spell

[KO84]

Allegedly my husband's Grandma once got so mad at Grandpa during a fight that she threw a small knife at him which managed to lodge superficially into the side of his head. It's often laughed about and she never denies it, she just says the kids have "wild memories" of growing up. My hubby better watch out I guess.

[crassy]

Well, my husband's grandmother moved out at 15, got knocked up at 16 (and then 17 again), got married in Gretna Green, had various affairs around Scotland and Northern England whilst her husband was dropping bombs on Europe, buried him, had more affairs, jumped on a ship with her four kids, moved to Australia, bought a farm, ran it by herself until she met her second husband, chilled with him for 40 years until he died, now she's 93, living by herself, drinking a bottle of champagne a day...oh, and she's a life long atheist.

So I goddamn well hope my husband wants a wife like her (minus the affairs of course) because his grandmother is AWESOME.

[Aurora rising]

I only met one grandmother, the mother from my father. She was chain-smoking, cursed a lot, got the nick-name "General" from her co-workers and told me once that she was done with sweet, sweet fellowship at the age of 40 because "my husband was not getting younger and neither do I". When my grandpa was flirting with other women (well, the marriage was not very happy, even before) she told him loud enough for everybody to hear "Hans, stop that nonsense. You are a grandfather!"

Lori just have met her.... :nenner:

[Jana814]

These stories are getting better & better!!

[cindyluvs24]

One grandmother had to leave school after 8th grade to go to work. Her older brother and sister were at City College and Hunter College ( free university in New York, back then known as the "poor man's Harvard" ) The brother wasn't bringing money in, and the older sister had to go to college to meet a suitable man. Grandma had a sister a year older but not as smart so she wouldn't be able to earn as much. Grandma read a great deal on her own and was the smartest of the lot. She had skipped two grades in elementary school and won the class medal for having the highest grades. Within a few years she was out-earning her own father.

[GeoBQn]

Ken just had to butt in.

Ken

The shift in society towards a feminist agenda is obvious and the results are in... and they are not pretty. Divorce, abortion, unhappy marriages are on the rise, and something changed when women not only went to work, but demanded equality of "like kind" with men.

Christian men have always been taught to hold women and all others as more important than themselves. Along comes feminism and it teaches equality should be applied across the board and it destroyed for many women the qualities men found most attractive.

It is true that part of the dependence and other feminine qualities are replaced by some successful women by a pay check and pride in their wives accomplishments, but it cannot replace the missing things that a wife and mother can give to bring together and hold together a family. The husband sacrifices, the kids suffer and in many cases the successful wife is stressed and incompleted by her life choice to be a career woman.

Sure, it always helps if my wife brings in an extra $30,000 - $100,000 a year. More luxurious vacations, more fancy restaurants, a bigger bank account and sooner retirement... all things that seem so important at an early stage of marriage... now pale when a child or two stray from the Lord, or stray from society. They all are worthless when the most important of relationships suffer. No money or career can buy happiness.

BUT.... the 80-20% rule probably applies even here. Perhaps 20% make it all work... the seemingly impossible of both raising a healthy family in the Lord and having a career. The feminist view of "equality of like kind" has devalued women for most men, doing exactly the opposite of what its proponents wanted. If a women is equal to me and not valued for her femininity, then let her go defend herself, open her own doors, put her own luggage in the overhead bin, and most of all, let her find a man who likes a women with manly qualities.

I for one, am looking for a woman who wants to be a woman, not act like a man.... self supporting, feeding her own ego, and independent. I want to be her man, not just her best friend.

These aren't "manly" qualities. These are the qualities of a human that has their own strength and is not made of fragile porcelain. How insecure is he that he is threatened by a woman who opens her own door?

[salex]

These aren't "manly" qualities. These are the qualities of a human that has their own strength and is not made of fragile porcelain. How insecure is he that he is threatened by a woman who opens her own door?

The old saw about "Men of quality are not threatened by women of equality" comes to mind.

[Anny Nym]

So Ken suggests we should all dump our hard-earned rights over our OWN Bodies to our own life choices to have the "privilege" of some strange creep staring at our ass when holding a door open for us.

You know what, Ken: NO!

[2xx1xy1JD]

Oh, the horrors!

My career may cause me to -gasp! - open my own door and put my own luggage in the overhead bin! How shall I ever survive....oh, wait a minute...I already do these things, and they aren't particularly hard. I would have been doing them if I had never worked - my husband's medical issues meant that I was in charge of heavy lifting.

Of course, I was used to heavy lifting....because I have three kids, and by far the most lifting I did involved them.

How does this fundie logic work, exactly?

How is it possible for a women who is too weak to open a door or put something in an overhead bin, to be expected to run after toddlers and maintain a home while pregnant, fold up a double stroller and pop it in the car, or carry around children and all of their stuff?

[Dollypeeps]

So Ken devalues a woman as usual then.

Controlling arsehole

Now my grandmother and his where nasty bitches that wouldn't fit there theme at all other than the hitting, spanking and all round beatings they gave to their children and his grandmother used the kids as slaves but she worked, smoked and gambled. My grandmother used all her kids as slaves also but worked outside the home took over the finances big time and recent step granddad got no money other than his beer money once a week. She was married 3 times to boot and had 14 kids in total. I never knew my bio grandfather or her second husband but the stories the aunts and uncles says is she killed them all with her tongue as it was like acid. So no he doesn't want me like her at all.

[docmom]

If a women is equal to me and not valued for her femininity, then let her go defend herself, open her own doors, put her own luggage in the overhead bin, and most of all, let her find a man who likes a women with manly qualities.

Done! I don't think my husband thinks of these as necessarily "manly" qualities, but he seems to like me (enough to make 3 kids with me anyway) :D

[Arete]

I don't think that Ken realizes that the evils of of women wanting, fighting, and getting equality from men didn't start in the last 40 years. My grandmother was born in 1919. She, her female siblings, and female first cousins numbered 20 women strong and are collectively refered to by their descendents as "The Pillars of the Empire". :nenner:

[JesusFightClub]

Hahahaha, Lori and Ken live in fantasy land.

I don't remember my maternal grandmother well. My paternal grandmother worked (shock!) as a cleaner to supplement my granddad's wages (he was a miner). She died when I was a kid of a heart attack (she was 62) and was addicted to tranquilisers, which the doctors in those days prescribed for working class women to ease them of the pain of just being them. My granddad killed himself a few days later. He drank a LOT.

The idea of my granddad "adopting feminist philosophy" is laughably stupid. He wouldn't have the faintest idea what was meant by that. Women were put on this earth to care for men, in his view. Working class women, however, worked where they could get work. They didn't waft around the earth drinking tea with their little fingers crooked.

Why do fundies twist history so much?

[Mela99]

My grandma was a matriarchal, fast talking, cooking phenom, Italian immigrant who owned all of us and my grandfather, too. Badass little old lady to the 10th degree. I'd be okay with that.

[Anny Nym]

Hahahaha, Lori and Ken live in fantasy land.

I don't remember my maternal grandmother well. My paternal grandmother worked (shock!) as a cleaner to supplement my granddad's wages (he was a miner). She died when I was a kid of a heart attack (she was 62) and was addicted to tranquilisers, which the doctors in those days prescribed for working class women to ease them of the pain of just being them. My granddad killed himself a few days later. He drank a LOT.

The idea of my granddad "adopting feminist philosophy" is laughably stupid. He wouldn't have the faintest idea what was meant by that. Women were put on this earth to care for men, in his view. Working class women, however, worked where they could get work. They didn't waft around the earth drinking tea with their little fingers crooked.

Why do fundies twist history so much?

You just remembered me of this hilarious (from PRESENTviewpoint -only) product coming with matching ad, which was very popular among german/austrian women, who lived in the post WWII-early economic-wonders time: It was called "Frauengold" and it was basically booze and methamphitamines in a little bottle. It didn´t need prescription.

It´s in german, but the choreography speaks for itself anyway:

V0IgdSxtZU0 my fave :mrgreen:

r6OczveU0Xg

[Mrs Ms]

You just remembered me of this hilarious (from PRESENTviewpoint -only) product coming with matching ad, which was very popular among german/austrian women, who lived in the post WWII-early economic-wonders time: It was called "Frauengold" and it was basically booze and methamphitamines in a little bottle. It didn´t need prescription.

It´s in german, but the choreography speaks for itself anyway:

V0IgdSxtZU0 my fave :mrgreen:

r6OczveU0Xg

Ach Du scheisse!!!!!!

I .....I ....I'm .... Fuck, I'm totally lost for words!

That does explain a few "good german housewives" I came across though :lol:

[uber frau]

My husband's grandmother's were both mentally I'll and abusive. Yeah, I'm sure he wants to be married to someone like that.

[debrand]

When I go to the store, I open doors for men and women and I've had both sexes open doors for me. It is called being polite and thoughtful.

If I see someone struggling with luggage, I help them also.

What happens in the marriages where the man becomes disabled and the wife has to open doors for him or reach high items? Does the husband have to act more submissive to get treated with politeness?

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Ach Du scheisse!!!!!!

I .....I ....I'm .... Fuck, I'm totally lost for words!

That does explain a few "good german housewives" I came across though :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: That totally made my morning. :lol: :lol: :lol:

ETA: Next time my German MIL gets grumpy, I'm just going to go: "Frauengold nehmen!" ("Take Frauengold!") in that breathy voice. :lol:

[Anny Nym]

:-D For the extra zest, you also could add that high-pitchy "Hallooo!" zu "Frauengold nehmen", but I´m quite sure it will work like a charm: I´m sitting in work here and all my female co-workers of 35-40up remembered Frauengold from their moms.

Apparently they were so "über den Dingen stehend" /"far above all bothering things", they were that high in the sky with fuckin´ Lucy and diamonds, they eventually ate both when getting the munchies!

(Hmmmm, might that explain all the weird 50s recipes with crab claws coming out of sandwiches and wieners in neon-green food coloured aspic? )