Men Want Wives Like Their Grandmothers

[GeoBQn]

Lori is a Fucking Monster says that women who are into cookin', cleanin', and man-pleasin' are going the way of the dodo, and that men want women who are like their grandmothers.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/06/his-outdated-grandmother.html

I don't even want to waste energy picking this post apart sentence by sentence. FJers have already talked at length about having grandmothers who did not conform to traditional gender roles, or grandparents who divided the labor by traditional gender roles but worked together as a team--not headship and helpmeet.

[Rosa]

My husband's grandmother was a chainsmoking, card-playing, full-time working ball of joy who (according to one of his aunts) was pretty much done raising kids about halfway through, so the youngest several mostly raised themselves. I think he's pretty pleased with the better smell and less child-beating around our place, and the fact that we stopped having kids when we were done. And that our pets won't get emphysema.

[debrand]

Lori is a Fucking Monster says that women who are into cookin', cleanin', and man-pleasin' are going the way of the dodo, and that men want women who are like their grandmothers.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/06/his-outdated-grandmother.html

I don't even want to waste energy picking this post apart sentence by sentence. FJers have already talked at length about having grandmothers who did not conform to traditional gender roles, or grandparents who divided the labor by traditional gender roles but worked together as a team--not headship and helpmeet.

My grandmother read her bible and could clean and cook circles around me. However, she also cursed and flipped people off. She was tough and horny Ornery. As a young wife, she supported her family while her drunk husband terrorized them. When he left her, she happily helped him pack his bags. She also dated. Once I made the poor decision to ask my matter of fact grandmother if she and her boyfriend had sex. She informed me that they had sex twice on their last date! They were both in their seventies!

She did babied men a lot. It used to drive me up the wall that she would iron shirts for my brother or male cousins but expected her female grandkids to be more independent and do for ourselves. When I protested, her response in summary was that men weren't as intelligent or capable as women. That is a horrible way to view the sexes, I admit. I've often wondered if a couple of generation of girls growing up in a fundie world will produce the same type of dismissive attitude toward males that my grandmother had.

*My grandmother was born in 1919. Also, I meant the word, ornery but I wrote horny. I found the mistake funny so I just put a strike through it. :lol: :embarrassed:

[danvillebelle]

One of my husband's grandmothers was so horrible, along with her husband, that her two children left home at age 15 and 18 and NEVER went back. Ever. Not even for their funerals.

The other one was a spoiled, selfish brat who didn't have any interest in her grandchildren at all.

So no, he didn't want a woman like his grandmother.

[Sumeri]

Huh. MY granny was divorced once, then widowed, and lived the rest of her life with a "manfriend" who took her on foreign holidays. She saved all of her 20 pence pieces and when her grand daughters were 18 she brought them over to England for a summer where they would also tour a not-too-expensive sunny locale. I got Tenerife, where I drank too many gin and tonics (with Gran and manfriend), sunbathed topless for three weeks and eventually lost my virginity.

Do you think that's the kind of grandma she means?

[Jinger Jar]

So that explains all those flashy sports cars I see parked around nursing homes and assisted living centers in my community!

Thanks Lori!

[salex]

Lori is a Fucking Monster says that women who are into cookin', cleanin', and man-pleasin' are going the way of the dodo, and that men want women who are like their grandmothers.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/06/his-outdated-grandmother.html

I don't even want to waste energy picking this post apart sentence by sentence. FJers have already talked at length about having grandmothers who did not conform to traditional gender roles, or grandparents who divided the labor by traditional gender roles but worked together as a team--not headship and helpmeet.

There is a funeral scene in the Sopranos where Tony Soprano's sister is having everyone talk about her recently deceased mother, and Tony's wife goes off on her about what a nasty person she had been. My husband's family did something similar one night, a year or so after his grandmother had died, at some family "thing". We'd all been having a nice time and some wine and some idiot decided it would be a good thing to go around the room and tell some memory about this woman. 2 or 3 before it got to be hub's turn they got on some thing that had been a long term issue between her and my husband when he was a teen, and no one let it drop. He said some little nice thing, but they pushed for more, and finally what came out was along the lines of "she was an evil bitch and I'm glad she's dead." I am here to tell you-- he does NOT want me to be like his grandmother.

[dawbs]

Which one am I supposed to be like?

The one who married and came to the US w/ the GI she fell for, who endured the lifetime of abuse at the hands of a drunk but who couldn't quite bring herself to leave or the abusive, narcissistic, homicidal vapid excuse for existence whose funeral we nearly boycotted?

Maybe I'll settle for being like my grandma--the one who never stopped working--she worked until she retired, put the fear of her 5'2" frame into men 5x her size and who was called on to soldier into the women's ward and stop riots and upsets.

[ILoveJellybeans]

My grandmothers on both sides are hoarders

[Trynn]

I actually do have a grandma I respect and look up to... but at the same time, she has her flaws, and I have no desire to be just like her.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

I adore both of my grandmothers, one of whom has passed on. They loved their families and made wonderful homes, but they also had their own friends, hobbies and opinions. One worked when her kids were grown because she wanted to get out of the house. One worked for her husbands business because she had gone to school for accounting. They loved their husbands, but they also wouldn't have tolerated any abuse or bullshit. And they are/were both christian women. And one of them only swam in her pool topless :D

[ExCatholic]

My husband likes to brag about how his grandmother played softball so ferociously that she wore out both knees and an elbow. He also fondly recalls the poker league she founded that consisted of retired women who liked to drink whisky and gamble. Somehow I don't think that's the kind of grandma Lori has in mind...?

[Hane]

My son-in-law's grandma is the sweet little old lady who fits Lori Anderson Is A Fucking Monster's idealized stereotype, except for having worked outside the home almost all her adult life. Yet he is happily married to my daughter, who hardly has a domestic bone in her body.

And I am the cover girl for old-fashioned cooking, sewing, bread-baking domesticity, and, trust me, I've never met a single guy looking for those attributes in a wife. To the contrary, I've known men to sneer at those traits, accusing women of trying to "trap" them. When I started dating, my mom cautioned me never to gush over children in front of guys for that very reason.

[idonthaveajname]

My husband probably did want me to be sort of like his grandma. She's funny and smart and strong-willed and raised kids by herself after her husband left her. She was also very hard working, good with money, and an all-around kick-ass kind of gal. She didn't sit around baking cookies and I doubt very seriously she worried much about pleasing anyone.

[Arete]

My grandmother seduced her tutor who was helping her study for her college entrance exams. He eventually became grandpa.

First generation out of the village and college educated, he didn't stand a chance against her city girl charms. :dance:

P.S- She also smoked, had a career, and wore high heels.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I can say with confidence that my husband loves the fact that I'm the total opposite of his psycho grandmother.

[singsingsing]

My grandma got pregnant before she was married, then worked outside the home when she had children. She was never a submissive wife, she and my grandpa had (and still have) an egalitarian marriage. They split chores pretty evenly (they still have a pretty strict schedule about who does the dishes each night). One summer when my grandpa was laid off and my grandma was working, he did ALL the work around the house and she didn't have to do anything. My grandma never has a problem giving my grandpa a piece of her mind when she thinks he deserves it. They've been married for over fifty years and still love each other. I hope my marriage is like that when I'm in my 70s. But I guess it would have been better if they had followed the fundie patriarchal model. For some reason.

My great-grandmother also got pregnant before marriage. Apparently she was the one who chased after my great-grandpa. My other great-grandma ALSO was pregnant at her wedding... oh... and so was my OTHER great-grandma... noticing a trend here... :lol:

[OkToBeTakei]

My Granny used to fart loudly, longly and very publicly.

Maybe that's what Lori wants :lol:

[docmom]

If she thinks men want wives like their grandmothers I wonder what will happen to the patriarchy when the current generation of young boys grow up. After all, our mothers (and some of us!) will be the grandmothers they want their wives to emulate. There's a whole generation of working outside the home, equality seeking, strong women out there providing role models for their grandsons!

[2xx1xy1JD]

Out of curiosity, I googled "law dogger". He's a fairly nasty MRA type, who writes articles with charming titles like "How to Bang a Persian Girl".

Sorry, Lori. Not seeing the good ole Biblical values here....but I am wondering what a nice church lady is doing reading this guy's stuff. Is he a pal of Sunshine Mary? Is this your way of dragging more of your kink into your blog while pretending it's Christian?

[Savoring Samsara]

One of my husband's grandmothers was an incredibly devout Catholic who raised 17 children on a Pennsylvania dairy farm during the Great Depression. Although he certainly admires her strength and resourcefulness, farming, being Catholic again, and raising Duggar amounts of children are thankfully not on his agenda for the future.

His other grandmother is approaching 90. She recently stripped, sanded, and refinished all of the woodwork in her rather large home, and painted all of the ceilings, completely by herself without asking for any assistance from her children or even telling them what she was planning to do. She also has some really awesome cookie recipes that I have learned and like to bake. So I suppose in those regards he does want me to be like his grandma, since I know that he values both my independence and my baking. :lol:

[Swamptribe]

Humm, let's see. My husbands grandma was pregnant before she was married. Ran several businesses (hotel, laundry mat, small grocery store). Raised four kids, and a foster kid. Would not take crap from anyone, not even Grandpa. Wow, I'd be flattered to be considered like her.

[Rosa]

fundies are so fucking behind the times. I'm a GenXer, so my grandma was *just* too young to be a free-loving flapper (she was a young married mother during the Depression, instead). Dudes who are about the age to get married at a Lori-approved time in their lives were born in the 1980s or '90s and their grandmothers were likely to be marching-in-the-streets 2nd wave feminists and part of that big wave of divorces in the '70s.

[Peas n carrots]

My one grandmother can't cook worth a shit, told me to not get married until I was 50 and before that time to have a real career and travel the world. She curses, tells dirty jokes and once had a convo with me about how dil do's functioned. She also had a drinking problem and smoked Marlboro reds until the early 90's. My step-grandmother divorced when my old man was a teen, and when she had gentleman callers over she would lock my dad out of the house. Today she lives in Florida and drinks highballs all afternoon while hanging out with her neighbors. My paternal grandmother had at least 10 kids, abandoned them all at some point and was a bi-polar alcoholic.

Lori is a monster and an idiot. I'd love for her to meet my grandmothers.

[MissA]

Yes, girls, if you dedicate your life to mindless and repetitive labor, become a gourmet cook, maintain your body in a fuckable condition into your seventies, and never ever ask for any compensation, you too can get... some cheap foliage "from time to time". And a guy willing to say "I love you."

Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with these young girls today. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal!

Gaaah. It's not as though either of my grandmothers were hugely progressive women, but they expected (and got) a hell of a lot more out of their husbands than that. When I was dating the husband before my paternal GM died, she strongly encouraged me to take absolute control of the household finances and provide him with an allowance. She said it was the easiest way to ensure marital happiness. Both of them ran their large families with iron fists, took paying work where it was indicated, and didn't take shit from anyone. And yet somehow they were also loved and respected by their husbands and descendants.

Go figure.