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Ready To Be Married? Prepare To Suffer!


LeatherCouch

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Possibly Michael Pearl the 5th time he comes at your on your wedding night when you are sore and exhausted.....

He is an awful, awful person, I cant imagine how horrible that must have been for Debi

Jim Bob Duggar

Lol, Im sure he cant be as bad as Michael Pearl. He doesnt appear to be as sadistic-I can totally see Michael hitting Debi, but I dont think that Jimbob would abuse Michelle.

I would rather have sex with slenderman than either of those two though.

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I don't think Jim Bob is a bad looking guy. That hairdo is beyond dorky, but I think he is alright looking. He's got a nice smile.

Mr. Pearl? OH HELL NO. Even if I didn't know what a raving lunatic he was, he's still pretty unappealing.

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Unbelievable, the Pearl honeymoon. Compounded by the fact that he would not only admit to it but seemingly brag about it in print?! It shocks my conscience.

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He also looks like some kind of wild man who lives in the woods

Actually, if my knowledge of his area is still correct (haven't been in that area of TN in ages), Mike Pearl does live in the woods. That is a sparsely populated area in the hills and hollers of middle TN.

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Do all the local families warn their children not to go and play in the woods because of the child eating wildman who will get them?

If I was walking through the woods and saw someone with a long beard and those eyes, I would run away, thinking it was some kind of monster.

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Is there anything in the world more sexually unappealing than Michael Pearl?

HAIL NAW!

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Do all the local families warn their children not to go and play in the woods because of the child eating wildman who will get them?

If I was walking through the woods and saw someone with a long beard and those eyes, I would run away, thinking it was some kind of monster.

Oh, no -- Michael is the protector of local children, don'tcha know:

nogreaterjoy.org/articles/becoming-a-bear/?topic_slug=protecting-your-children

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I like harvesting deer. They are good to eat. But I LOVE killing coyotes. They deserve it. They are cowards, picking on the small and weak.

This is not surprising given that this article was written by the son of a psychopath.

The second day, I met this older gentleman, about 55 years old. He spoke well, was clean cut, and was better dressed than the rest of the bunch. He seemed to know my family and talked about my mom. He was definitely a good man. He said there was a nice trail around the lake that we could walk around first thing in the morning, and that we would see lots of snakes or turtles. That was all I needed to know. The next morning at daylight he tapped on my tent. I was up in a second and ready to go. It took about an hour and a half to walk around the lake. We had a great time, but I only saw one snake.

When I got home, I told my parents how much fun we had riding mules, catching perch, walking around the lake. “Walking around the lake?†they asked. “Yeah, I met this really nice old guy. We walked around the lake. It’s ok, he knows you. His name is so and so.†Their faces turned ash grey. I knew it was serious. They said he was a pedophile from way back. Other kids had charged him, but nothing had ever stuck, and they had not seen him in years

....

Their reputations were known abroad, and the coyote knew that to mess with this cub was a sure way to lose what he loved most—and I don’t mean his freedom.

Soooooooooooo the only reason that Gabe didnt get molested, was because they were too afraid of his parents?

Although then again, even evil has standards, Ive heard that murderers and rapists will gang up on pedophiles in jail.

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Although then again, even evil has standards, Ive heard that murderers and rapists will gang up on pedophiles in jail.

I think they are considered lowest of the low...no one likes anyone that hurts the innocent (kids, elderly, animals), even the other prisoners

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He is an awful, awful person, I cant imagine how horrible that must have been for Debi

Lol, Im sure he cant be as bad as Michael Pearl. He doesnt appear to be as sadistic-I can totally see Michael hitting Debi, but I dont think that Jimbob would abuse Michelle.

I would rather have sex with slenderman than either of those two though.[/quote]

Seconded, and that's knowing full-well that I'd be devoured and/or possessed by the end of it. :lol:

As for this horrible Laura woman, I'll just say there are real people who are suffering with or taking care of someone who has cancer. Cancer is a long, heartbreaking, difficult ordeal to endure. To say that it is better to suffer in marriage and equate a lack of marital suffering to dying from cancer suggests an unimaginable level of stupidity and ignorance. This is one of the most offensive things I've read in awhile.

And if Debi Pearl had any sense, she would have dropped one of those crabs into Michael's boxer shorts when they got loose in the house. Catching, killing, cleaning, and cooking fresh crabs is a long and exhaustive process, and he treated her with no respect before and after going to all that trouble to make him a nice meal.

And even after all of this, isn't she the one who advocates for blanket training, along with her idiot husband?

*sigh* I hope all of these people step on a lego.

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I felt compelled to post for the first time after reading some of this lady's blog. I just don't understand her. Who in their right mind would rather die and leave young children behind than pay a medical bill? I honestly feel she is somewhat mentally ill and needs help. After perusing her blog, I found this list of "201 ways a maiden can SERVE while waiting for prince charming". My favorites (spelling mistakes are all her own) :

3. Crochet in the presence of Christ

4. Learn new jump rope skills

7. Window shop for a parent that needs help with children in public (redirrect child back to parent) WTF?

17. Compliment your father on 5 differnt masculine qualities.

42. Learn how to make cheese.

48. Pray for those who attend large alcoholic gatherings

49. Sweep outside of a bar.

54. Create multiple differnt things out of old cereal boxes,

72. Press some flowers

74. Write to local churches and encourage them to stop abortion as it is equal to murder (of jewish persons for example)-what does this mean?

79. Draw a picture of each of your family members and keep a scrap book.

94. Take care of your feet.

118. Go sledding or swing on a swing

124. Make some garland.

163. Smile while cleaning up something really disgusting.

179. Visit a woman's shelter and encourage the women to forgive and pray for the men whom they left.

If I were to have spent my time doing these things before I was married (instead of actually being a productive member of society) I'm pretty sure I would have had a difficult time finding someone to marry. Is this really how people spend their days? Jump roping and sweeping outside of bars?

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I felt compelled to post for the first time after reading some of this lady's blog. I just don't understand her. Who in their right mind would rather die and leave young children behind than pay a medical bill? I honestly feel she is somewhat mentally ill and needs help. After perusing her blog, I found this list of "201 ways a maiden can SERVE while waiting for prince charming". My favorites (spelling mistakes are all her own) :

3. Crochet in the presence of Christ And now Jesus is too busy watching you to help some poor fundie mother of 10 figure out how to stack her children in the smallest space possible

4. Learn new jump rope skills Apparently I did a lot of serving when I was 10

7. Window shop for a parent that needs help with children in public (redirrect child back to parent) WTF? And then the child is now whining for something that they saw in a shop window

17. Compliment your father on 5 differnt masculine qualities. Is serving related to incest?

42. Learn how to make cheese. Not with an old skirt I hope

48. Pray for those who attend large alcoholic gatherings Or join them. If youre bored enough to consider half of those, maybe drinking would help

49. Sweep outside of a bar. How would this help?

54. Create multiple differnt things out of old cereal boxes, Again, I did a lot of serving when I was 10

72. Press some flowers How is this serving?

74. Write to local churches and encourage them to stop abortion as it is equal to murder (of jewish persons for example)-what does this mean? Stop using holocaust references to refer to balls of cells with no working brain. A better way to serve would be to campaign for easier available birth control and sex ed, and provide support to pregnant women who are in poverty. This would lower the abortion rate

79. Draw a picture of each of your family members and keep a scrap book. Is this woman 10?

94. Take care of your feet. Maybe the Jslaves need to take advice from this one, I do worry about them standing on a rusty nail or something when in flipflops in innapropriate situations. Michelle would make them clean the house while hopping.

118. Go sledding or swing on a swing This woman is 10, right?

124. Make some garland. Why?

163. Smile while cleaning up something really disgusting. Why? Does it matter if the cat sick on the floor gets cleaned up with a smile, as long as its cleaned up before someone steps in it or the dog starts eating it

179. Visit a woman's shelter and encourage the women to forgive and pray for the men whom they left. Not going to help. Maybe bringing food for the shelter and being sympathetic to them and not their asshole partners might help instead

If I were to have spent my time doing these things before I was married (instead of actually being a productive member of society) I'm pretty sure I would have had a difficult time finding someone to marry. Is this really how people spend their days? Jump roping and sweeping outside of bars?

Those are completely and utterly awful.

This woman needs a reality check, she thinks her silly childish antics can help the world, but actually the suggestions that arent stupid are making things worse.

Is her Prince Charming 8 years old? Cause I cant see jump ropes and playing on a swing being attractive to an adult man.

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3. Crochet in the presence of Christ

4. Learn new jump rope skills

7. Window shop for a parent that needs help with children in public (redirrect child back to parent) WTF?

17. Compliment your father on 5 differnt masculine qualities.

42. Learn how to make cheese.

48. Pray for those who attend large alcoholic gatherings

49. Sweep outside of a bar.

54. Create multiple differnt things out of old cereal boxes,

72. Press some flowers

74. Write to local churches and encourage them to stop abortion as it is equal to murder (of jewish persons for example)-what does this mean?

79. Draw a picture of each of your family members and keep a scrap book.

94. Take care of your feet.

118. Go sledding or swing on a swing

124. Make some garland.

163. Smile while cleaning up something really disgusting.

179. Visit a woman's shelter and encourage the women to forgive and pray for the men whom they left.

What? What the Fuck?... What did I just read?! I can´t even... :pink-shock:

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48. Pray for those who attend large alcoholic gatherings

:lol:

What in the world? Is she talking about parties or AA meetings?

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49. Sweep outside of a bar.

Wut? I don't even.... Is she talking about literally taking a broom and sweeping the sidewalk out in front of a bar? Because I'm pretty sure that would accomplish nothing except possibly being run-off by the owner.

I had my husband read the Honeymoon From Hell. When we talked about it afterwards he said he assumed it was a parody or joke, that nobody could be that insensitive. When I told him about the Purls he still had trouble believing that it could be real. What a weird, weird route the American Fundamentalist Christian religion has taken. Is there any other religion out there that places so much emphasis on hawt, hawt sex on tap?

I remember watching the documentary Jesus Camp when Ted Haggard tells the camera that Christian married sex is the best sex, just before ramming his tongue down his wife's throat. That was the first time I came across this emphasis on how fabulous sex was with a Christian wife. Which is actually a load of bullshit. Maybe it is meant as a recruiting tool, but there is no way a submissive wife who was untouched before marriage and who has multiple children is going to be an exciting wildcat in bed. My husband and I have a smoking hot sex life but we are equals, we have no children, and I am not tired out from spending my day cleaning up after a large brood of kids. Plus I had plenty of experience before I met him.

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I showed the honeymoon story to Mr Atheist, and he said, "In case you were wondering, Michael Pearl is a psychopath."

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I really want her to go sweep outside a bar while there is a large alcoholic gathering and she is praying for them, video it and put it on the blog. That would be amazing to watch.

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"crochet in the presence of Christ" is my absolute favourite.

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Crocheting in the presence of Christ needs to be one of the post count signature thingies. No question.

As if Christ has nothing better to do than watch me crochet. If he'd hold the yarn skein while I wound it into a ball, it would be okay. Otherwise, I'd get all oogy with him hanging over my shoulder and making me lose count so I have to rip shit out.

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3. Crochet in the presence of Christ

Ooh, ooh, I got this one covered! Next time I crochet I'll just move the icon of Jesus I have to face me. Maybe I'll mess up fewer rows.

17. Compliment your father on 5 differnt masculine qualities.

If I had pulled that kind of stunt on my father, he would have locked himself in his room and then called a mental health crisis line to come pick me up.

42. Learn how to make cheese.

I have a job so I can buy cheese.

48. Pray for those who attend large alcoholic gatherings

Lady, family holidays, baptisms, and weddings are large alcoholic gatherings in my world. :dance:

49. Sweep outside of a bar.

They can hire their own damn maid.

54. Create multiple differnt things out of old cereal boxes,

I am speechless. Moving right along...

Write to local churches and encourage them to stop abortion as it is equal to murder (of jewish persons for example)-what does this mean?

I wasn't aware any of the area's local churches had started abortion.

163. Smile while cleaning up something really disgusting.

Because working on my countenance while cleaning cat puke or changing a nibling's diaper is going to make my life complete. :cray-cray:

179. Visit a woman's shelter and encourage the women to forgive and pray for the men whom they left.

Once again I'm speechless. I'll stop now.

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I thought I had seen it all, but that Michael Pearl honeymoon story is just...I don't even have words.

OK, if you absolutely had to choose...would you choose Michael Pearl, Jim Bob, or Doug Phillips? Based on Michelle's attitude I suspect Jim Bob is halfway decent in bed. (I'm puking now.) I think Doug Phillips would hurry up and get it over with so he could get back to watching push up videos of hawt fundie guys. So that leaves Michael Pearl. I think I would just kill myself and get it over with. So my choice is Jim Bob, but I'm not getting a perm for him!

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I thought I had seen it all, but that Michael Pearl honeymoon story is just...I don't even have words.

OK, if you absolutely had to choose...would you choose Michael Pearl, Jim Bob, or Doug Phillips? Based on Michelle's attitude I suspect Jim Bob is halfway decent in bed. (I'm puking now.) I think Doug Phillips would hurry up and get it over with so he could get back to watching push up videos of hawt fundie guys. So that leaves Michael Pearl. I think I would just kill myself and get it over with. So my choice is Jim Bob, but I'm not getting a perm for him!

Blah, that sounds like a game of fuck-marry-kill with fundies! I think that I need to go hide now!

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Do all the local families warn their children not to go and play in the woods because of the child eating wildman who will get them?

If I was walking through the woods and saw someone with a long beard and those eyes, I would run away, thinking it was some kind of monster.

He's also a champion knife thrower. Super scary.

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