Ready To Be Married? Prepare To Suffer!

[LeatherCouch]

Laura from Raggedy Cottage And Garden tells us what is wrong with the world today: women don't want to suffer! Some highlights:

In reading the created to be his helpmeet book and understanding that "Christian woman" are avoiding the aspect of suffering, I can see how much trouble this is causing in our world. I can see how this causes trouble in marriage! I can see how this is causing trouble even in my marriage.

So who is ready to be married? The woman who is willing to suffer! The woman who is not willing to suffer is not ready to get married......ever. Its a battle! Its a battle to die in the place of an unwanted child brought into being by 1 man and 1 woman. The battle to gain the meek and quiet spirit in the midst of immoral confusions that surround us.... must.... be.... won!

The price to pay for avoiding suffering is the cancer of death. The cancer of bitterness. The cancer in the flesh in human disease for refusing children. The cancer of a community torn apart for lack of children joyfully serving God in Truth! Cancer caused by refusal...... to suffer.

It's a whole lot of crazy, and sad.

raggedycottagegarden.blogspot.com/2013/06/suffering-and-truth-behind-human-life.html

[AVENues]

Marriage isn't supposed to be about suffering. It should be a civil union of two people who love and respect each other and look forward the ups and downs in life as a team. Life isn't always fun. Marriage is supposed to make people's lives easier. If it's suffering, people will divorce. I don't get the cancer bit, though. PS: if a marriage qualifies as a battle on many levels, we are probably talking about domestic violence.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Fundies have their priorities messed up. Marriage is not about suffering, if it is, you married the wrong person. Marriage is about love and happiness, about two people who love eachother so much they are making a commitment to live their lives together, and maybe even bring children into it and raise them together.

I would not take any marriage advice from Debi Pearl. She married Michael within a week of first speaking to him, they had their first argument the night after they got married, over meat in the supermarket. She ended up collapsing on their honeymoon because he wanted to break the record his friend had set over how many times they had sex on theirs.

He also looks like some kind of wild man who lives in the woods, and the parents who live near it warn their children to never go into the woods because of the legend that he eats children. He has creepy eyes, in one picture he looked like some kind of semi human monster, with those black unfeeling shark eyes. Personality wise, I suspect that he beats Debi just like he does with their poor children.

Yes, seriously, this is written in Created to be his Helpmeet, as a romantic love story. Other than the creepy manbeast wildman bit, thats just picked up from pictures of him.

[wtylcf]

Thank you for this delightfully absurd rant. I have never encountered a more appealing depiction of marriage than as a "battle to die in the place of an unwanted child." Which, by the way, doesn't make any sense semantically. Is it a battle for the right to die in the place of an unwanted child? A battle in which you may die, in which case your death would appease the neglect of an unwanted child? I doubt the original writer could clarify this sentiment.

It would seem that marriage may very well kill you, except that if you don't get married, you'll get cancer.

Death for everyone!

[Val78]

A marriage shouldn't entirely suck. If you're full on suffering, you're not doing it right. Not like a fight or disagreement...but full on suffering? Why would anyone bother if that's what it is supposed to be?

These women need better examples, that it's doesn't have to always be roses & sunshine, but as a whole should be more on the fun side. Hmm

[wtylcf]

I would not take any marriage advice from Debi Pearl. She married Michael within a week of first speaking to him, they had their first argument the night after they got married, over meat in the supermarket. She ended up collapsing on their honeymoon because he wanted to break the record his friend had set over how many times they had sex on theirs.

.

Every time I think of the Debi/Michael Pearl wedding night story, I get mad all over again. Didn't they attempt to have sex five times on his demand? And at one point, he went to take a nap because he was exhausted, but ordered Debi to cook something for him while he slept? (I can't find the story again at the moment, so please feel free to correct me on the completely appalling details). What a tool.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Yes, that is right. He made her cook for him after she was exhausted from all of the sex (and she was a virgin before, ouch) and he was sleeping. I cant imagine how awful that must have been.

Michael Pearl looks like an evil version of Santa.

[tanksmom]

Wow, almost 13 yrs of marriage here and while it's not all sunshine and roses I would definitely say I don't spend my days suffering. Once more fudies, if what you are doing is making you miserable you might want to rethink what you're doing.

[Koala]

I've had two unassisted births that were healthy and good. It only cost 300$ for first one and under 150$ for a second birth at home! Had there been a problem, I would have had to go to prison as woman who have birthed unassisted and baby dies have been known to end up prison. Home-school persecution seems like a joke compared to this reality of human suffering although the suffering for teaching children the truth is more of a long-lasting suffering. I've had a miscarriage that I chose to carry out in a hospital. The bill to pay doesn't seem worth it. I wish I would have suffered through it at home and not had to pay a dollar! I hate the fact that my worries about $ and paying for the miscarriage are causing me to get angry. I wish I would have just suffered and possibly even DIED while in the process of miscarriage just so I wouldn't have to leave the mark of anger over financial worries!

I don't know about you, but this is truly how God created the woman.....to suffer for his glory! Had I died in bleeding so excessively in a second trimester miscarriage, would I have been selfish for not calling 911 as I didn't want to leave behind a dramatic medical bill for my husband to pay???????

Holy Christ, she needs help :( :(

[ILoveJellybeans]

That could easily be solved by changing how the healthcare system works....but I imagine if shes a fundie she is against that, for some reason.

[Cran]

The idea life is suffering, and "self" being the root of all evil isn't unknown either to eastern spiritual traditions nor to some lines of Christianity. Yet it would be FAR LESS creepy if it wasn't only the wife who was called to suffer.

And she does seem to take the suffering quite literally: She is asking (commanding, more) women to have home births, possibly unassisted, so their husband is not left with medical bills!

At least she admits this isn't the way to go for all women, but I shudder at the thought what will happen if some womenn do take her counsel and try her birth methods.

Suffering will come your way and you MUST suffer through it! Why make a husband pay a 10,000+ dollar medical bill for a process YOU can figure out with ones own two hands! Home birth is very simple and safe as long as your mind is in line with what you are doing. On the other hand maybe your health isn't good for homebirth and you must birth c-section in a hospital!

And going to the hospital for a miscarriage is, in her eyes, a waste of money.

I've had a miscarriage that I chose to carry out in a hospital. The bill to pay doesn't seem worth it. I wish I would have suffered through it at home and not had to pay a dollar! I hate the fact that my worries about $ and paying for the miscarriage are causing me to get angry.

Is she MAD? Doesn't she know anything about miscarriages? About the dangers of bits of the foetus or the placenta being stuck in her uterus, possibly ROTTING there and killing her? (Sorry for the strong wording, but this really gets me.)

And do I read some envy for her MIL and GIL (what is that, btw? I assume some female relative by marriage)? Who can make their income easily, do not have to carry as many children as God (her husband) wants and can enjoy free time.

[Arete]

Holy Christ, she needs help :( :(

:shock: This is seriously one of the most fucked up things I have ever read, and that is saying something. :shock:

[Marian the Librarian]

Well, it's no wonder all those stay-at-home-daughters are still single - they're exposed to big buckets of crazy like this!

And speaking of crazy, here's another entry from her blog:

swim questions in reguards to how Christian woman should handle this.....

My husband likes and wants to go swimming in a liberal pool (one where the swimmers and folks in the community come out of hippy, evolutionary, abortionistic, homosexual attitudes and such about human sexuality) Thankfully he has never said I need to walk around in strings and fry myself or the kids in the sun.

We have five your old whom we would like to have take lessons. Is there anything I should be aware of that would cause danger to his eyes in general. Usually young girls are not developed yet, but others may walk by who are. I don't want any of our children to get in bondage of pornography or get skewed understandings of female-male nature. I don't want daughter to fall for "prince charming" who only wants her body and doesn't care for her life and godly character.

Is there a pleasant way I can convince my husband to encourage swimming at a private pool or should I not make a fuss about issues like this?????? My husband did have problems with pornography at one time in his life and he has a brother in prison for it. What can I teach my son and kids about not touching or looking at woman's body even if husband wants to go swimming in string-ally.

I really like the letter about Judy (on pg 126-7 chapter 13 in created to be his helpmeet) who wrote #1 daddy to her husband who was around strippers and prostitutes. Marriage is hard. Especially when I hear of my husbands cousins falling for the prostitutes......

[Val78]

Problem with pornography is different than in prison for it...

But they have to know raising kids like this they will be drawn to porn at some point if given a chance,

And LOL at the liberal pool;)

[ILoveJellybeans]

Is the husbands brother a pedophile or something?

[JMarie]

:shock: This is seriously one of the most fucked up things I have ever read, and that is saying something. :shock:

What did the $300 and $150 cover for her homebirths? And why did she get a discount for the second one? And why isn't she griping about spending any money at all for something she did herself at home?

[Just_Jane]

it was a BOGO, buy one get one half off, like shoes at payless.

[pimpom]

Cool, evolutionary homosexual swimmingpools...I want to go to there!

[Cran]

What did the $300 and $150 cover for her homebirths? And why did she get a discount for the second one? And why isn't she griping about spending any money at all for something she did herself at home?

As she birthed unassisted (no midwife!) I guess the 300/150$ cover her supplies, and some stuff she could probably reuse the second time.

[Just_Jane]

I'm still single so hardly an expert at marriage. I don't think marriage is supposed to be about suffering.

Mix the suffering in marriage with the stuff about home births and the miscarriage it's like she has some sort of martyr complex.

[Peas n carrots]

:shock: This is seriously one of the most fucked up things I have ever read, and that is saying something. :shock:

Seconded! She has got to be clinically depressed.

[Trynn]

We have five your old whom we would like to have take lessons. Is there anything I should be aware of that would cause danger to his eyes in general. Usually young girls are not developed yet, but others may walk by who are. I don't want any of our children to get in bondage of pornography or get skewed understandings of female-male nature. I don't want daughter to fall for "prince charming" who only wants her body and doesn't care for her life and godly character.

Her daughter is five. FIVE!

This is all kinds of squicky.

[curlytoes79]

Yes, that is right. He made her cook for him after she was exhausted from all of the sex (and she was a virgin before, ouch) and he was sleeping. I cant imagine how awful that must have been.

Michael Pearl looks like an evil version of Santa.

Wow, I hadn't heard this story. Well, of course marriage is going to be suffering if you're married to an asshole who treats you like a servant. That's probably all these fundy women know, so they assume it's normal.

[Cran]

Just discovered she reads (and obviously likes) Candy, she links to her blog in this post with the same bullshit about "Easter is not Chrsitian OMG" Candy has:

raggedycottagegarden.blogspot.de/2013/03/an-era-of-confusion.html

[Mela99]

Isn't there something in the bible that says only marriage will bring a woman great joy? Why the suffering?