8 Things You Can't Do When You're Married

[GenerationCedarchip]

What a load of garbage! Some of these things (like going to the club) are things I never really did much anyway, but I still have girls' nights on occasion. My husband likes me to hang out with friends on occasion. As for the bathroom, I'm pretty sure my cats would go into Defcon 5 if I closed that door.

[library_youth]

Being married is the best time to get really drunk. You know there's someone there looking out for you.

Agreed. I've only been drunk a handful of times in my life but the last time I was seriously, falling-down drunk was as a married person. My husband and I had gotten home after a horribly stressful family get-together and had a few drinks, which led to a few more, which led to both of us getting totally wasted. :oops: That was a few years ago and I've vowed to never get that drunk again. It wasn't worth it. But yeah, I'm glad that my husband was with me, despite us both being trashed.

[O Latin]

This article makes me want to never get married, and I don't really do any of those things anyway. It seems to be saying that married people should spend their lives sitting at home and never do anything separately. I don't think I could stand being married to someone if I had to spend every second of every day with him. No matter how much I loved him, sometimes I just need to do things by myself.

[Austin]

I haven't read the article, just the lists in all the posts, but this person doesn't even sound married. Most of this stuff is downright ridiculous and doesn't have anything to do with being married or not. :roll:

[tinuviel]

The author also has this weird idea that married ladies have to be bastions of decorum and civility at all times. She says something like "drunkenness is unattractive in a single girl. For a married woman it's downright inappropriate!". Em. Okay.

[Wolfie]

The author also has this weird idea that married ladies have to be bastions of decorum and civility at all times. She says something like "drunkenness is unattractive in a single girl. For a married woman it's downright inappropriate!". Em. Okay.

Not to mention, Single=Girl and Married=lady.

Whatever.

[forever ago]

Not to mention, Single=Girl and Married=lady.

Whatever.

I'm glad that at 19, I'm old enough to take charge of my own education, vote, drive (for 3 years now!), smoke cigarettes (though I can't) get a job without worrying about work permits, have sex in every state, etc. etc. etc. but I'm still a girl simply because I'm not married. Thanks for clearing that up! :)

[Soldevi]

Hehe, I am not a shy pee'er like my husband, I tend to leave bathroom door a little open. When I sit down, it gets spooky :mrgreen: If I look at to the door, I see one eye staring at me and if I keep quiet, that eye will just stare and stare. If I say something, my youngest dog opens the door and comes to sit between my legs... And if he comes in, other dogs will follow because you never know if I am giving something to the first one! gaaah...

I would be SO totally Imelda Marcos and near personal bankruptcy if I could buy shoes freely but damn my wide, chubby feet! I agree, those are such a weird can't dos. *sips another glass of wine with (GASP!) gay friends*

[ADoyle90815]

About paying bills, even for single people, it's irresponsible to buy shoes instead of paying the bills. The only type of person who has issues with someone seeing any friends is an abusive asshole who is trying to isolate that spouse.

[browngrl]

This article makes me want to never get married, and I don't really do any of those things anyway. It seems to be saying that married people should spend their lives sitting at home and never do anything separately. I don't think I could stand being married to someone if I had to spend every second of every day with him. No matter how much I loved him, sometimes I just need to do things by myself.

Don't take this article to heart! The author seems a bit wackadoo to me. The only things that have changed about me personally since I got married are: laugh more, feel like I have a safe haven, matured up a bit, shave my legs year round instead of just in the summer when I put my black tights away. :)

[emmiedahl]

I have done all of these since getting married except buying shoes instead of paying bills. I would not have done that while single.

Dinners out with men... am I the only one who has a husband who views my gay friends as virtual girlfriends? He'd have to be pretty insecure to think I was going to get them drunk and rape them over carpaccio.

[CanadianHippie]

Um, yeah most of those you can do while married and those you can't (read: buying shoes instead of paying the bill) you shouldn't do anyway. Actually buying shoes instead of paying bills kind of smells like entitlement to me. But what do I know, I don't spend money on extras unless I know the necessities are paid for.

[Shirley MacLaine]

Reasons #1-8 not to get married. Pass the tequila.

Well, except for the shoes thing. A.) I don't give a fuck about shoes, B.) bills come first, just the way it is.

[dormouse]

My tiny yorkie found a way to push the bathroom door open with his nose if I forget to lock it.

I've done the sleepover and networking after 10pm, and getting drunk of course.

I'm not much of a shoe person either. I have one pair of sneakers, one of winter boots, Mary Janes, Toms, and that's all (and I regret the Toms because of their association with Focus On The Family). Never been able to walk with heels. I do have a mild clothes shopping addiction, but that's mostly at thrift stores, and it was never so bad as not being able to pay bills.

I do agree with not dressing too sexy, because when you're married you no longer need to attract men. Since my husband and I started dating, I dress more modestly than when I was single. But that's also because of a small weight gain.

[Soulhuntress]

My dogs think that the bathroom is magic unless the bathtub is running. That makes it the scary place.

[alphaeta08]

Who closes the door? I don't even do that for boyfriends! :lol: And who buys shoes instead of paying bills? This isn't Sex and the City. :roll:

My cat/peeing story: I was sitting with my pants around my ankles, and my then-kitten climbed into my pants and sat there for the duration of my bathroom visit. He was pissed with it was time to get up!

[karupin]

I babysat for a friend's cat who adored water-especially from the sink on top of the toilet (the sink runs whenever the toilet is flushed.) Whenever I would go to the bathroom, she'd follow me in and sit behind my head, waiting for the water to come out. During the times when she thought I was taking far too long, she'd meow and bat at my head until I flushed, just for her.

[Guest Anonymous]

There was a time I did all of those things as a married woman. Maturity has taught me to pay the bills before I buy the shoes. And an aging body does keep me from going out dressed as a video model. But that list is just full of limiting paradigms. I'm imaging what I would say to my husband if he said I couldn't go to Vegas with my first husband next month??? Would I bother even replying or just reach for the ax??? I need to think a bit about all this.

[O Latin]

Slightly OT, but I never understood the whole "women love shoes" thing. I'm just not a shoe person. I don't hate shoes and I never have a hard time finding ones I like when I shop for them, but I only shop for them if I really need a new pair. It's not something I shop for "for fun" and I never go into the shoe store "just to look." I am pretty excited to buy a new pair of Converse sneakers, which I haven't owned for years, but somehow I doubt those are the kind of shoes this article was referring to.

[Vex]

A married woman should be sexy not skanky, which requires some modesty. Your husband won’t mind other men getting a sneak peek, but he will take issue with them getting the full peep show.

Excuse me? Who died and made them the authority on what is and is not appropriate when you're married? The tone of this article is extremely snotty and superior, and the content is rubbish. If I want to 'network' after 10pm or have a sleepover at a friend's place when I'm married, I damn well will and my partner is free to do the same. Also, I don't go to the bathroom with the door open now, but how dare they tell you that you can't do that? If my partner wants to leave the door open that's up to them.

I've never been insulted by a magazine article in my life, but this one is pushing every one of my buttons.

I hate shoe shopping too. I have US size 5 feet that are a AAA in width and it's so hard to find heels or sandals or flipflops or even ballet flats. I can always fit into a 6 in sneakers or closed-foot boots, so those are basically the only kinds of shoes I shop for. Shoe shopping is always frustrating and a huge chore. The few pairs of heels and slip-ons I own I bought online using an online sizing guide and they fit perfectly with some insoles.

[Soldevi]

I hate shoe shopping too. I have US size 5 feet that are a AAA in width and it's so hard to find heels or sandals or flipflops or even ballet flats. I can always fit into a 6 in sneakers or closed-foot boots, so those are basically the only kinds of shoes I shop for. Shoe shopping is always frustrating and a huge chore. The few pairs of heels and slip-ons I own I bought online using an online sizing guide and they fit perfectly with some insoles.

Yeah, wide fitting chubby feet with need of medical insoles... I can find some shoes easily like flipflops and plimsolls, and usually hiking and running shoes from Merrell and Salomon (they make wide enough shoes) but if I have to find both nice and fitting party shoes. I loved to shop shoes in London with wide shoe selection everywhere but in Finland they are scarce and I don't know why, grr. I am one of those blamed shoe loving women, ironic that I can't buy shoes myself, lol.

I would understand if these things would be something like 'you can't sleep around anymore (if you don't have an open marriage)' or 'you can't think only your own needs anymore'.

[LIzzieB]

This article is so shallow. Shoes, dressing for going out, sleepovers... is this person a married adult or a teenager imagining married life?

My hubby and I have the best of both worlds - we love being together but due to work, spend time apart as well, during which time, we have our own lives. I travel a lot for work (about every 6 weeks, for 2 to 5 days at a time), so he gets to do whatever he wants to do, and he works in the evenings, so I usually have that time to myself to do stuff for me. When we are together, we appreciate it all the more and make an effort to do things together that we both enjoy.

I think the key to a strong marriage (and I'm technically not actually married, but in a 10 year defacto relationship so no expert) is maintaining your sense of individuality as separate from the marriage. I think relationships where you have to change your personality, spend every second together and give up things that are important to you, are doomed. This article is complete rubbish.

[dormouse]

Slightly OT, but I never understood the whole "women love shoes" thing. I'm just not a shoe person. I don't hate shoes and I never have a hard time finding ones I like when I shop for them, but I only shop for them if I really need a new pair. It's not something I shop for "for fun" and I never go into the shoe store "just to look." I am pretty excited to buy a new pair of Converse sneakers, which I haven't owned for years, but somehow I doubt those are the kind of shoes this article was referring to.

Same here. As I said earlier, I own 4 pairs, and that includes my winter boots. My "shopping for fun" is clothes. But now that you're mentioning Converse, I think I might buy a pair. I'll look at how the employees dress when I start new job next week and I'll see if I would be allowed that. I think so, because when I went to my interview the receptionist was wearing jeans on a Tuesday, that's a good sign.

[bananacat]

Slightly OT, but I never understood the whole "women love shoes" thing. I'm just not a shoe person. I don't hate shoes and I never have a hard time finding ones I like when I shop for them, but I only shop for them if I really need a new pair. It's not something I shop for "for fun" and I never go into the shoe store "just to look." I am pretty excited to buy a new pair of Converse sneakers, which I haven't owned for years, but somehow I doubt those are the kind of shoes this article was referring to.

You're saying the women are individuals. And this is a big surprise to gender essentialists! If women aren't all the same, then how can poor lonely dudes ever learn some universal rules to get them in bed? They'd have to actually get to know individual women on an individual basis! It's much easier to just pretend that all women are the same as each other (and all men are the same as each other too).

The really funny thing is that I've been both a shoe-lover and shoe-indifferent within my life. I've been both of those and I'm just one woman. Imagine how much work it would be to get to know just me, let alone other individual women.

[jenny_islander]

I always used to shut and lock the bathroom door because I enjoyed the feeling of privacy. Now I have small children and a cat who drinks out of the faucet. However, both my husband and I dislike the idea of hanging out with each other while one of us is on the toilet. Ick.

That said, the whole tone of the article is "But the things I enjoy doing at 22 are the things I want to enjoy for the rest of my liiiiife! Being a grown-up is boooooringgg!" No, married people are free to get schnockered, dress up sexy, hang out with friends, and even be stupid and fail to pay their bills on time.