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kids: wait until you are married and ask hubby for earrings


linnea27

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In our family, a girl getting her ears pierced is a major rite of passage. When a girl first gets her period, her adult female relatives take her out to get her ears pierced then everyone goes out for lunch and gives her womanhood presents. A couple of girl cousins didn't want to get their ears pierced so we skipped that part and just did the lunch and presents.

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In our family, a girl getting her ears pierced is a major rite of passage. When a girl first gets her period, her adult female relatives take her out to get her ears pierced then everyone goes out for lunch and gives her womanhood presents. A couple of girl cousins didn't want to get their ears pierced so we skipped that part and just did the lunch and presents.

This is very interesting! Is it just in your family, or is it a wider cultural thing? Did you enjoy it when it was your turn?

(Genuine, non-snarky questions -- I've always been very shy and private, so I would have wanted to crawl into a hole and die if my family made such a public acknowledgement that I was having my period. But I know not everyone would necessarily feel that way, so I find this an interesting ritual. :geek: )

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In our family, a girl getting her ears pierced is a major rite of passage. When a girl first gets her period, her adult female relatives take her out to get her ears pierced then everyone goes out for lunch and gives her womanhood presents. A couple of girl cousins didn't want to get their ears pierced so we skipped that part and just did the lunch and presents.

While that sounds so thoughtful, if everyone in my family knew I had gotten my period, I would have been pissed. SO embarrassing at that age!!

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This is very interesting! Is it just in your family, or is it a wider cultural thing? Did you enjoy it when it was your turn?

(Genuine, non-snarky questions -- I've always been very shy and private, so I would have wanted to crawl into a hole and die if my family made such a public acknowledgement that I was having my period. But I know not everyone would necessarily feel that way, so I find this an interesting ritual. :geek: )

As far as I know it's my family and not cultural. I don't actually know how it started but it comes from my maternal line and goes back to at least my great-grandmother's time. For a long time I thought everyone did this.

I did the piercing with my mom and the lunch out on a different day with grandmothers and aunts and cousins. I loved that lunch. I felt strongly drawn into the circle of the adult women in my family. I felt like they had my back. Even though the trigger for the event was getting my period, the tone of the event was more of a welcome to the sister hood theme.

When my daughter got her period my in-laws thought this tradition was the bomb, so they were all up for it. My daughter is also shy and private so we made it a smaller occasion with grandmothers and some aunts but no cousins.

I understand that not all families are close or have healthy relationships or that it might be embarrassing to have other people know that you have your period. I do want to note that this isn't like the Twilight Bark - not everyone in the clan entire gets a grand announcement. It's more like close relatives you enjoy who you are close to - they know anyway and they kind of help ease your way into being a woman.

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I got my ears pierced at 8 (my sisters had to wait until eighteen, they were pissed), and wound up not turning them enough, so the earlobe actually grew over them and I had to have them surgically removed. It was disgusting and painful. After that I let them grow over, but got them done at 11 when I was a little wiser.

And my mom still hasn't forgiven me for my hidden-from-the-public piercings...

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As far as I know it's my family and not cultural. I don't actually know how it started but it comes from my maternal line and goes back to at least my great-grandmother's time. For a long time I thought everyone did this.

I did the piercing with my mom and the lunch out on a different day with grandmothers and aunts and cousins. I loved that lunch. I felt strongly drawn into the circle of the adult women in my family. I felt like they had my back. Even though the trigger for the event was getting my period, the tone of the event was more of a welcome to the sister hood theme.

When my daughter got her period my in-laws thought this tradition was the bomb, so they were all up for it. My daughter is also shy and private so we made it a smaller occasion with grandmothers and some aunts but no cousins.

I understand that not all families are close or have healthy relationships or that it might be embarrassing to have other people know that you have your period. I do want to note that this isn't like the Twilight Bark - not everyone in the clan entire gets a grand announcement. It's more like close relatives you enjoy who you are close to - they know anyway and they kind of help ease your way into being a woman.

Interesting, thanks for sharing!

My family are pretty tight and are total oversharers, but I was such a private child that I think they'd have had to drag me kicking and screaming on that kind of event. :lol: Since I got my first period right after I turned 11, I don't think I (or my mom) really viewed it as my becoming a woman/being welcomed into an adult circle, since I was still very much a child -- I know a lot of people traditionally view it that way though. :)

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I like this comment because of its honesty: We let our daughter get earrings in order to reminder her she is our slave:

If the Jslaves have pierced ears, this is probably why.

:pink-shock: :wtf:

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I got mine done at 12. My mom wanted my doctor to do them because she was worried about infection risk (I have a history of immune system issues), but they don't really do that anymore, and my doctor said it was better to go to a professional anyway. I went to Claire's and the girl dropped the piercing earrings on the floor, and we had to *ask* her not to use them. Great.

I had my nose pierced last year, and since I'm an adult I didn't ask my parents, but I did ask my doctor in front of my mom. I mainly wanted to double check that my doctor thought it was okay, but I also specifically asked at an appointment my mom came to because I knew my parents would be worried about infections/piercing shops/etc. and I didn't want them to worry. I've thought about doing second holes on my earlobes (which is what my mom told me to do instead when I told her I was piercing my nose... she hates nose piercings) because I do like the look of two earrings, especially when you can have one pair of studs and the other pair of "dangly" earrings that match, but I tend to stick to the same maybe 5 pairs of earrings (because I'm sensitive to cheap earrings and because I'm lazy/never remember to pick out earrings in the morning), so I thought it would be a waste of money. What I liked about the nose piercing is that it's not really a piercing people change that often (while on the other hand I have a huge earring collection and feel guilty about not using a lot of them). If I ever got another ear piercing I'd go to a piercer, they were a lot more professional and my holes now are uneven.

I'll have to look into the Simply Whispers website. Also have to remember to get my favorite pair repaired, the stone fell off - loved them because they are pretty neutral/go with everything, and gold so don't bother my ears. My nose stud is a mix of titanium and stainless steel.

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I think it has a lot to do with culture. East Indians, Hispanics, and African Americans pierce ears within a month of birth. My mom pierced my ears at 2 months. I got my second for my 8th grade prom. I feel naked when I'm not wearing them.

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I got mine done at 12. My mom wanted my doctor to do them because she was worried about infection risk (I have a history of immune system issues), but they don't really do that anymore, and my doctor said it was better to go to a professional anyway. I went to Claire's and the girl dropped the piercing earrings on the floor, and we had to *ask* her not to use them. Great.

A professional piercer who uses a needle instead of a gun would be much less of an infection risk, fyi. I don't really consider Claire's and those kind of mall piercers "professionals" :)

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A professional piercer who uses a needle instead of a gun would be much less of an infection risk, fyi. I don't really consider Claire's and those kind of mall piercers "professionals" :)

Yeah, that makes sense. My doctor at the time told me I was fine going to a mall place but I don't think she knew much about piercing haha (it was more like, they would know how to use a piercing gun). I have heard doing it with a needle is better in general because it's less traumatic to the tissue anyway. (And I agree, the mall places are not "professional" haha.)

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I've been developing allergies at an alarming rate and metal is one of them. All metals. I can wear plastic, glass or stones like turquoise. I'm thinking of guaging my ears so I can wear wood or glass earrings.

I miss wearing earrings. :(

You don't need to stretch your lobes to wear wood earrings :) There's some that has a small 'stick' like thing that holds the rest of the piece.

I really like Bodyartforms.com Not sure what their selection for small holes is though, since I'm past 1/2 an inch.

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Yeah, that makes sense. My doctor at the time told me I was fine going to a mall place but I don't think she knew much about piercing haha (it was more like, they would know how to use a piercing gun). I have heard doing it with a needle is better in general because it's less traumatic to the tissue anyway. (And I agree, the mall places are not "professional" haha.)

Our pediatrician suggested we just buy our own piercing gun and do it at home, so we did. I made her wait until she was 12 though so I knew she could really consent. Mine were pierced at 1 month and I am still pissed about it.

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I have 4 holes on the lobs of each ear and then I have 2 in thr cartilage of my left ear. I rarely wear in the holes except the bottom most of the lobe holes.

My mom pierced my second holes when I was in high school....with a sewing needle and ice to numb. Needless to say the ice didn't really numb that much, and my mom and to literally dig to get the holes. Good thing I have a high pain tolerance :pink-shock:

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My dad really doesn't like pierced ears, and my mom never had them (and his wife now doesn't either). He told us we couldn't unless we were paying all our own bills. His reasoning "If God wanted you to have another hole in your head, he would have put it there when you were born." (He is NOT a fundie; he says he's Christian but to him that just means he believes in God. Not Jesus (???) and he hasn't been to church in about 25 years except for weddings and funerals.) I got mine pierced on my 2nd wedding anniversary, with my husband, who encouraged it. It just wasn't a big deal to me either way.

We'll wait with our girls (3 and 6) for a while, but not forever. At this point, I want them to be able to run and play and be kids without having to worry about ripping an earlobe. (The 6 year old ripped my big hoop out of my ear yesterday; still not coordinated enough. ;) )

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And my mom still hasn't forgiven me for my hidden-from-the-public piercings...

My relationship with my mom is a little...nontraditional. We're more like friends than mother and daughter, which is both good and bad. When I got my nipples pierced, I relished the opportunity to send her a text reading, "GUESS WHAT I JUST GOT PIERCED???" :stir-pot:

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Most of what I know about BDSM was learned from fanfic (blushes) (smiles). But my impression from my reading is that submissives can be instructed not to modify themselves till they're properly collared, lest the modifications be not to their dom's taste. It seems this mother is offering her daughters up as submissives, to be modified at their master's wish. Marriage as collaring ceremony? More evidence that fundies are closet D/s freaks? Not that there's anything wrong with that--but there most certainly is something wrong with this Fundies of Gor scenario where all girls are trained from birth as submissives simply because they are female, and given no choice in the matter.

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After reading the original post, my thought: This is the ultimate end run around a parental NO. Just get married and let your headship give you "permission"....

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I had a labret piercing when the now-husband and I got together. He wasn't a fan, but he didn't bother me about it and it would never have occurred to him to ask me to take it out. I did eventually take it out after a couple of years because it was causing me a lot of tooth sensitivity in my bottom middle teeth from getting caught on them and constantly clacking against them. We were engaged and planning our wedding at that point. I imagine it would be amazing to some fundies as to what a non-issue it was overall.

I had my ears done at 5, with the next 2 holes done when I was a young teen, and then I put more in myself with a safety pin at home. I don't even remember how many holes my ears had. I think 5 in one side and 7 or 8 in the other. I don't know how I didn't get infections from that! lol Had my cartilage done professionally at 18 but I hated it. It hurt so badly all the time, way worse than the labret ever did.

We let our daughter get hers done for her 5th bday. She had been begging for about a year. And let me tell you, we tried so hard to find a professional at a studio to do them, but none would because they all have strict policies not to do anything on a child younger than 14, I think it was. I don't know if it was an insurance deal or what. One guy was an acquaintance of my husband and he tried to talk the studio's owner into letting him do it for us, but we ended up at Claire's, which was fine. But she has since let them close up. So it won't be happening again anytime soon.

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That was my reaction too.

Zooming past the part where a *this close to being freed* slave would bind himself to his master (why would he do that?), it still doesn't make sense to me. How old was the daughter when she committed herself to Christ? Did she have a say in the matter, and have an explanation that this was going to be a symbol of her commitment? Or were they just like - because you believe in Christ, you will have pierced ears as a symbol? Also, where do the parents get off having themselves decide the symbols in their daughter's life. "My husband and I decided to use this a symbol for our daughter..." Just buy her a cross to hang on her wall and get over yourselves.

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slave would bind himself to his master (why would he do that?)

If I remember right, it's from the old testament and I was taught it was done because only a MALE slave could be free--the dude's wife and child (assuming they were also slaves) would still belong to the owner. So the slave had to renounce his freedom in order to stay w/ his family--otherwise male slave got freedom and left his wife and kids behind.

(this is what ive got for the passage:

Exodus 21:5,6 “And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free: Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring him to the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an awl; and he shall serve him for ever.â€

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In our family, a girl getting her ears pierced is a major rite of passage. When a girl first gets her period, her adult female relatives take her out to get her ears pierced then everyone goes out for lunch and gives her womanhood presents. A couple of girl cousins didn't want to get their ears pierced so we skipped that part and just did the lunch and presents.

I think that's a really cool tradition.

When I was growing up, the family rule was that you could get your ears pierced at 10, similar to what many other posters have said. I was terrified of needles as a kid (and I'm still not a fan...) so it took me until I was 13 to work up the nerve to get mine done. My younger sister, who has always been more daring than me, got hers done on the exact day she turned 10. :lol: I eventually also got a second set of holes done on November 25, 1998, which I will always remember with bizarre specificity because it was the same day that the series finale of Babylon 5 (the principal touchstone of my adolescence!) aired. :laughing-rollingyellow:

Personally, I'm not a fan of infant ear piercings - for me it's a bodily autonomy issue, a fairly minor one sure, but it bugs me to do that without the child's consent. 10 seems like a reasonable age to me still, but if my child asked for it sooner and was responsible enough to care properly for the piercings as they healed, I would probably be flexible about it.

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My mom told me when I was 7 that I could get my ears pierced if I wanted it done. I have never been a fan of needles, so I didn't get it done until right after I graduated from high school at 17. My boyfriend never cared one way or the other. I would've thought it was weird if he had. :?

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