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kids: wait until you are married and ask hubby for earrings


linnea27

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The earliest my mom would let me get earrings was 10, and I got them as soon as I could after my birthday. I think it was a good age and it's probably what I'd do with my daughter if I had one (or with my sons, if either of them end up wanting a piercing or two).

In the area where I grew up, ear piercings on babies/young children were *strongly* associated with very low socioeconomic groups (read: pretty much exclusively the stereotypical 'trailer trash' types) so I'd probably never be able to bring myself to do it earlier than 10. But I recognize that's a regional/cultural thing. :)

Not in the area where I grew up, but my mother and grandmother felt that way too -- that pierced ears were "common". When I was 13 I was allowed to get mine pierced, at a doctor's office (it still amazes me that in the 70's pediatricians offered ear piercing!), and I had to take care of them myself. The whole idea squicked my mother right out. And no dangly earrings til I was 16.

I made my daughter wait until she was 8, and then took her to a piercer/tattoo artist to have it done properly. I've seen too many kids with funky holes that don't match and/or infections from mall piercings. Plus he gave her a whole lecture on proper care and the importance of keeping the studs in for a LONG time. She will argue with me, but hasn't even thought about contradicting her piercing guy! His daughter is one of her best friends, so she came along and it was a lot of fun for her - really a "grown up" outing. I like the idea that she'll remember that evening later.

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It must depend on where you live. Somewhere between infant and 5 seems to be the norm here, and the additional piericings seemed to follow about what you said - if they got them.

Same where I was from too. Though mostly piercings were done more around the time of kindergarten/1st grade. It was rare to see them on girls any younger.

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I don't think I would allow my three year old but perhaps a little older and I'd allow it if she asked. I feel body modification should be the child's choice not the parent's or future husband!

Perhaps I should say we decided to leave getting my son circumcised up to his future wife. :roll:

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If or when I have kids, they can have their ears pierced when they ask for them provided they are responsible enough to take care of them. Waiting until you can obtain permission from your spouse to get your ears pierced is ridiculous. What the rule if, heaven forbid, your son wants his ears pierced? I would imagine that wouldn't be allowed ever, but still.

Sounds like you have a metal allergy, most likely nickel as that is the most common one. If you want earrings that won't make you itchy, try titanium.

I'll look for titanium. I've tried good gold and stainless steel and "nickel free", with mixed results, but will seek out some titanium. I miss wearing earrings sometimes.

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I got mine at 10 for the same reason. Mum was very firm about the fact that I would have to be the one to put the stuff on them while they healed & if they got infected because I didn't look after them I would have to let them heal over.

I think Mom also wanted me to wait because I had a classmate in the first grade who got infection after infection as she wouldn't care for her ears.

It was made very clear to me that once I got my ears pierced it was up to me, and me alone, to clean them and make sure they didn't get infected. If I had to get it done again it was coming out of my pocket.

I made my daughter wait until she was 8, and then took her to a piercer/tattoo artist to have it done properly. I've seen too many kids with funky holes that don't match and/or infections from mall piercings. Plus he gave her a whole lecture on proper care and the importance of keeping the studs in for a LONG time. She will argue with me, but hasn't even thought about contradicting her piercing guy! His daughter is one of her best friends, so she came along and it was a lot of fun for her - really a "grown up" outing. I like the idea that she'll remember that evening later.

I had mine done by a nurse. To get it done it required parental signature and I had to go with someone who was over 18. My grandparents took me to get mine done.

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I'll look for titanium. I've tried good gold and stainless steel and "nickel free", with mixed results, but will seek out some titanium. I miss wearing earrings sometimes.

I'm also one with a nickel allergy, so I might have to look for titanium posts. As it is, I have to get gold or nickel free earrings. It was one thing I was warned about, as the nickel allergy runs in my family, so I've been careful about what goes in my ears since I had them pierced in the first place.

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I was six months when mine were done. I think that's odd. I still have them, and luckily I love earrings. My sister was also young, but her's ended up closing and had to be re-pierced.

My mother is annoyed that my sister won't have her daughter's pierced (she is 2). My sister always says "It's not my body, I'll let her choose for herself". I couldn't agree more. My cousin on the other hand had his son's ear pierced before he was 1 and they are already talking about when to pierce their one month old daughter. I think it is cruel to put a baby through unnecessary pain, for vanity reasons.

Edited because of autocorrect.

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It does seem as though Jacinda is open to suggestions and not totally against the idea of letting her daughter have her ears pierced before marriage ... that seems like a little bit of progress in that fundy family. Perhaps she didn't really care for her parents making her wait until her husband gave her the red/green light and wants to let her daughter have more choices. This obviously isn't the standard among all fundy families. The Duggar girls all have prieced ears, don't they? And I think Anna did too before she married.

My mom told me I had to wait until I was 18. When I was 18, I didn't do it because I was a poor college student and didn't have money to spend on nice earrings. I didn't have mine done until I took my daughter when she was 10. We did it together. My daughter had asked at an earlier age, but I didn't feel she was old enough to care for her ears until after she was 10. She did well at 10, but at my age, but it took me a long time to adjust and I still can't wear anything big or heavy.

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MacKynzie does, and has from being little, but I dont think I have seen earrings on any of her aunts.

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I wonder if this is another sign that girls have a lot of competition for husbands in the fundie world. You can't just say, "Oh, just find a guy who likes earrings," when you're limiting your potential partners to only father-approved boys who will jump through ridiculous fundie hoops like courtships without touching until marriage. Saving your ears for your future spouse is another way to increase your worth as a partner--look, you have to become a mini-me of your father in law to get a wife, but then you get to decide if you want one with earrings or not! It's not just another way to control women, it's another way to see her as an object to be traded, with quantifiable qualities that increase or decrease her value--is her hair curly or straight, is she a virgin or not, are her ears pierced, can she cook, etc. And in a system where personality conflicts are not considered important in marriage because the wife will just always do what the husband wants (so no need for alone time before marriage or any exploration of each other as individual people with thoughts), the frivolous (to us) stuff like early balding becomes the most important aspect of a match. If you don't play the game, if your pierce your ears with impunity, you could end up being a forever stay-at-home daughter, unwanted by any man that would be father-approved, left behind by your friends "blessed" by God to serve their One True Purpose of childbearing. In that situation, yeah I wouldn't let my daughters get their ears pierced, I'd fight for them to be considered high-quality desirable catches, but the situation is pretty sick.

I asked my parents when I could get my ears pierced and they told me, "Whenever you ask for it," so I was super-excited to get to decide to do something and then go do it. (I was seven, you don't get to do that much at seven.) I also have a nickel allergy and so reacted to my first studs and they didn't heal completely for two months and then I had off-and-on sores from reacting to various earrings, but it was fun anyway.

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My mom was against ear piercing because my grandmother always said it was "barbaric." She finally gave in and said I could get them pierced at sixteen. (I actually got them done at thirteen- I think she was tired of me bugging her about it.) Funny thing is that a couple of days after I got mine done she we went back to the jewelry store and she got hers pierced too! (At the jewelry store where my dad got her wedding ring).

My grandmother had some weird ideas. No mascara because "your eyes are too precious" - whatever that means. Mascara makes you go blind?

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I hate earrings and pierced anything. If my ten-year-old wanted pierced ears I would probably (ultimately) let her, but by way of discouragement I'd tell her it was extremely painful. :twisted:

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I got mine pierced as an infant. I love it. I probably will do my children that was as well at least female.

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I have a serious nickle allergy. That being said, I still was not allowed to get earrings, because Seventh Day Adventists don't wear jewelry (at least, that's the church's official stance, many do anyway).

I got my ears pierced at the age of 19.

My grandma always said that if God wanted us to wear jewels in heaven, why on earth should we not get used to it now?

I have no desire for a romantic partner, but if I did, my body is mine to decide what to do with, not his/hers.

I got mine done at age 20, and my mother cried. :eyeroll:

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A friend and I had ours pierced when we were in our 20's; the subject had never come up before. A few years later, I got her to sign a permission slip, and I took our daughters to have theirs pierced. She worked full time, so was happy for me to take care of it. Another neighborhood friend had hers pierced that day, too, again with permission from her parents. The girls were around 10 or so, I think.

My daughter made her daughters wait until they were six, so they could do some of their own "taking care of".

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I got mine pierced after much begging when I was 7 or 8, they got infected and I took them out. I tried again when I was a teenager, and the same thing happened. Finally when I was 19, I went and got them done (with a few other piercings) and had a phase of piercing things. Now I rarely wear earrings (I only own, like, two pairs) and everything else is healed and no longer pierced.

I don't think it's right to pierce babies ears.

I also don't think that it's something that children need to be concerned about. They should be learning and reading and figuring out the world, not worrying about ear piercings and stupid fashion. If we would stop brutalizing children's bodies in the guise of fashion, then there wouldn't be the children with pierced ears that the other kids want to copy.

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I got mine done when I was 3 years old I'm thankful I had it done because I hardly remember it. Some of my other sisters in my family have had theirs done as infants which I will probably do the same for any future daughters.

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I was allowed to and got mine done when I was seven. Of course even before then, I asked if I could get them double pierced at 14. lol Like many others, I had nickel allergies but it wasn't as well-known of an issue then, so my mom blamed me for not taking care of them (a year after they were done!). Finally I happened on a pair that were nickel-free and we realized the reason for the problems when my ears cleared right up wearing them.

I now have 4 in each ear - right they are all lobe, the left the top one is in cartilage. That one was horrible, partly because of the location and partly because the idiot employee at Claires ignored me and apparently the piercing stud had nickel. I went back within days with it hot and swollen and they actually needed to hold the earring with pliers in order to get a good enough grip to get it out. ugh. My mom actually split a piercing pair with me when I got one of my "odd" holes - I think it was #3 in one ear and #2 for her. lol The bottom ones are empty a lot of the time right now, but I do get on kicks of wearing earrings in them nearly daily. The others all have studs - Alexandrites (college graduation present), diamonds (18th birthday and HS graduation) and sapphires that I bought with the money my dad gave me for Christmas before he unexpectedly died days later.

My friend's daughter recently got hers done for her 8th birthday and I had SO MUCH fun picking out lots and lots of earrings to give to her for her present. She has done very well taking care of them and I love that it was a special rite-of-passage sort of day for her. I hope my sister does something similar for her 1 year old daughter - I doubt she'll get them done early as my sister rarely wears any earrings at all.

If I had to wait until marriage (I'm 33 and hopelessly single btw), I wouldn't have some fun memories or some very special and sentimental pieces of jewelry. I think this way was light-years ahead of any reasoning the Fundies may try to pass off as valid.

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Hell naw. I'm gonna pierce whatever I want.

I have multiple piercings, including my nipples, and I never really thought about using them as a potential mate screening tool.

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I hate earrings and pierced anything. If my ten-year-old wanted pierced ears I would probably (ultimately) let her, but by way of discouragement I'd tell her it was extremely painful. :twisted:

You terrible person. I would never do that :whistle: :liar: :lol:

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Jacinda is nuts...always has been, always will be. This is the chic that spanked her 1 or 2 year old the morning after she spent the entire night in the ER with her (poor little thing was very sick :cry: ). Jacinda thought she was manipulating them by being so whiny and clingy the next morning. When FJ discovered that post and paid her blog a visit, she deleted it. She has no respect for her daughters at all...end of story.

Regarding the piercing- My ears were pierced at 2. I let them grow up as an adult. I wish they'd been let alone until I could make the choice for myself.

I don't agree with piercing a child's ears. My daughter is 8 and has absolutely no desire to get earrings. Might have something to do with the fact that I've tried to teach her that we don't have to put holes in our ears to conform to modern beauty standards, might just be her opinion. Who knows? Time will tell. I know one thing though. When she does make that choice, it will be her that makes it. Not me, not her father, and sure as hell not her husband.

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That is bizarre. I got my ears pierced when I was 8 - thankfully my mother was OK with allowing me to make my own decision rather than wait an additional 17 years to get married so that my husband could give his opinion. :roll:

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Jacinda is nuts...always has been, always will be. This is the chic that spanked her 1 or 2 year old the morning after she spent the entire night in the ER with her (poor little thing was very sick :cry: ). Jacinda thought she was manipulating them by being so whiny and clingy the next morning. When FJ discovered that post and paid her blog a visit, she deleted it. She has no respect for her daughters at all...end of story.

WHAT?!

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My mom was against ear piercing because my grandmother always said it was "barbaric." She finally gave in and said I could get them pierced at sixteen. (I actually got them done at thirteen- I think she was tired of me bugging her about it.) Funny thing is that a couple of days after I got mine done she we went back to the jewelry store and she got hers pierced too! (At the jewelry store where my dad got her wedding ring).

My grandmother had some weird ideas. No mascara because "your eyes are too precious" - whatever that means. Mascara makes you go blind?

There were some headline-grabbing cases of people becoming blind from [link=http://eyelashesinhistory.com/20th_century_III.html]eyelash dyes[/link] in the 1930s in the US, so maybe your grandmother (or her parents) was hypervigilant about all eyelash products?

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I've been developing allergies at an alarming rate and metal is one of them. All metals. I can wear plastic, glass or stones like turquoise. I'm thinking of guaging my ears so I can wear wood or glass earrings.

I miss wearing earrings. :(

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