kids: wait until you are married and ask hubby for earrings

[frumper-rump]

I would be reluctant to pierce the ears of any small child of mine because while I have piereced ears, I can rarely find earrings that don't irritate my ears--even gold and stainless steel are not always assured of not making my ears itch. I can't wear much costume jewelry in general (I turn green, sometimes in a very short period of time) and even real gold (wedding ring) on a bad day, has been known to leave green marks on my hands. It seems less of an issue as I get older (the green-- the earring issue seems to be worse as I age) but I'd hate to have a young child with limited verbal skills have to endure the itching and pain that I get from some earrings. One of my sisters has the same issue with her earrings, so I suspect some kind of family allergy-- if I had kids I'd wait til they were old enough to recognize a problem.

That sounds reasonable. I have a metal allergy and seem to only be able to wear sterling silver. It's most likely nickel, in my case- I also turn green and itch. Gold also bothers me and makes my ears itchy. I have such a problem with metal that some metal buttons/snaps and all metal belt buckles bother me if they stay against my skin for too long. I do have an aluminum cuff bracelet that doesn't seem to bother me at all.

[belly_button]

for the nickel allergies...my mom has them pretty bad too, but she can wear earrings made by this company called Simply Whispers. www.simplywhispers.com. Not sure if they still do this, but they used to send people one pair of free earrings for people to see if they would be able to wear them without a reaction.

[Trynn]

I have a serious nickle allergy. That being said, I still was not allowed to get earrings, because Seventh Day Adventists don't wear jewelry (at least, that's the church's official stance, many do anyway).

I got my ears pierced at the age of 19.

My grandma always said that if God wanted us to wear jewels in heaven, why on earth should we not get used to it now?

I have no desire for a romantic partner, but if I did, my body is mine to decide what to do with, not his/hers.

[Antigone]

Thanks for the tip, belly_button, I have an allergy as well. It's the only reason keeping me from letting Sevy get her ears done like her best friend did (gee, thanks). I have secondary piercings I got done when I did my first play. I will get more after I graduate, perhaps. Or some other major life event. :)

[Justme]

Remember that one fundie girl who wasn't allowed to learn to drive? Her parents told her her husband could teach her IF he wants her to drive. :angry-banghead:

[sparkles]

My dog has more autonomy than some of these fundie women and girls. :cry:

[lilith]

Oh lord. Is she the one who wouldn't let her daughter shave her legs, because that decision should also be left up to her future husband?

Don't know, but she doesn't allow her daughters to dye their hair on the basis that its up to their future husbands.

[Claddagh]

I got my ears pierced when I was thirteen.

I had wanted pierced ears since I was a little kid, but my parents said I had to wait until I was old enough to clean and care for them myself.

[Arete]

Good grief. We were allowed to pierce our ears after age 10, and then if we wanted additional piercings it was 18 and up. Tatoos were also after your 18th birthday. We could do whatever the hell we wanted with our hair, on the grounds that you can always grow it back if you got buyer's remorse.

No one went to prison, works in a brothel, or was unable to find a headship when they decided they wanted one.

[Tangy Bee]

Well lets not forget about the many guys who have pierced ears. This is nothing new. I remember when George Michael first came out in the 80's. Thought he was the sexiest thing with those pierced ears. Then in the 90's I found out he was gay. Totally ruined my sexual fantasy! I'm positive, fundies are not ok with boys wearing earrings.

[Claddagh]

I'm positive, fundies are not ok with boys wearing earrings.

Especially if they decide to get both ears pierced, which seems to be pretty common these days.

I remember when growing up seeing guys with just the one ear pierced.

[sparkles]

My daughter has no interest in getting anything pierced (she chickened out when she was 12 and hasn't regretted it) but she did get a tattoo when she was 21. She discussed it with me first, not to ask my permission (which she didn't need) but mainly because she knows I'm not a fan and she wanted to reassure me that she wanted this one only because the saying she chose had a lot of meaning for her. I appreciated that she cared enough to talk with me first and she knew I wouldn't get all judgey, even though its not my thing.

I did, however, help her dye her hair bright pink when she was 14. It looked AWESOME! And I'm sure I'm going straight to hell for that. Yay!

[charmedjenny]

As someone who pierced ears for many years, If I have a daughter someday--I will pierce her ears at three months, which is pretty much the earliest you can have them done. They are easy to take care of, she won't mess with them which is how they tend to get infected, and someday if she doesn't like them--she doesn't have to wear them. I had to deal with too many hysterical 6-12 years who literally would have sat in my chair for hours if I had let them because they wanted them so bad, but were terrified to do it.

And to the poster earlier, titanium is the way to go-that's pretty much the best natural hypoallergenic metal there is. Sterling silver is AWFUL for your ears (seriously if you can wear sterling silver in your ears, then you can go to the dollar store and pick out earrings there because they are about equal in sensitivity quality) Any line with the word sensitive in it (i.e. claire's/ icing sensitive solutions, etc.) should be fine; those are nickel-free.

[SallyDraper]

I would be reluctant to pierce the ears of any small child of mine because while I have piereced ears, I can rarely find earrings that don't irritate my ears--even gold and stainless steel are not always assured of not making my ears itch. I can't wear much costume jewelry in general (I turn green, sometimes in a very short period of time) and even real gold (wedding ring) on a bad day, has been known to leave green marks on my hands. It seems less of an issue as I get older (the green-- the earring issue seems to be worse as I age) but I'd hate to have a young child with limited verbal skills have to endure the itching and pain that I get from some earrings. One of my sisters has the same issue with her earrings, so I suspect some kind of family allergy-- if I had kids I'd wait til they were old enough to recognize a problem.

When i was in the second grade, i begged my parents to let me get my ears pierced. Within weeks it was apparent i had a metal allergy. I wore plastic earrings until middle school but than, it looked kinda little girlish on me so i stopped. Now i put clear nail polish on the back posts so i can wear them for a couple of hours.

[Mama Mia]

As someone who pierced ears for many years, If I have a daughter someday--I will pierce her ears at three months, which is pretty much the earliest you can have them done. They are easy to take care of, she won't mess with them which is how they tend to get infected, and someday if she doesn't like them--she doesn't have to wear them. I had to deal with too many hysterical 6-12 years who literally would have sat in my chair for hours if I had let them because they wanted them so bad, but were terrified to do it.

And to the poster earlier, titanium is the way to go-that's pretty much the best natural hypoallergenic metal there is. Sterling silver is AWFUL for your ears (seriously if you can wear sterling silver in your ears, then you can go to the dollar store and pick out earrings there because they are about equal in sensitivity quality) Any line with the word sensitive in it (i.e. claire's/ icing sensitive solutions, etc.) should be fine; those are nickel-free.

Yeah ! I knew I couldn't be the only one here who believes in piercing babies ears. So much easier for them to heal before they can mess with them.

[Trynn]

As someone who pierced ears for many years, If I have a daughter someday--I will pierce her ears at three months, which is pretty much the earliest you can have them done. They are easy to take care of, she won't mess with them which is how they tend to get infected, and someday if she doesn't like them--she doesn't have to wear them. I had to deal with too many hysterical 6-12 years who literally would have sat in my chair for hours if I had let them because they wanted them so bad, but were terrified to do it.

And to the poster earlier, titanium is the way to go-that's pretty much the best natural hypoallergenic metal there is. Sterling silver is AWFUL for your ears (seriously if you can wear sterling silver in your ears, then you can go to the dollar store and pick out earrings there because they are about equal in sensitivity quality) Any line with the word sensitive in it (i.e. claire's/ icing sensitive solutions, etc.) should be fine; those are nickel-free.

Actually I don't think that's true. I am usually fine with those earrings for a while, but then they'll itch. I found out that it is because what they actually do is they coat the nickle with something else to protect your skin. Problem is, the coating wears off after a while, and then you're left with pure nickle. Sure nail polish works, but I've found it's only a temporary solution.

[Rescinded and Mended]

Unfortunately, I've discovered that as an adult I grew into some kind of metal allergy when it comes to earring posts. Didn't used to bother me when I was younger, but now most of my earrings make my ears itch something fierce. If I switch out to silver or gold posts/earring hooks, I can wear them longer.

I like how many craft stores now carry silver and gold earring hooks for reasonable prices. A longterm project dream of mine is to remove all the cheap earring wires that make my ears itch, attach spring-loaded necklace clasps to the loops, and then buy a few pairs of the more expensive earring hooks and then just use the clasps to swap the hooks out interchangeably. That way, I don't spend a fortune on replacing hundreds of pairs of ear wires.

[Dysfundamental]

I pierced my ears in my 20s because my parents didn't allow it. Not for fundie reasons; I think they were concerned that I would get infections, because I have crazy sensitive skin. I do have to be careful. Titanium posts work well for me, as do niobium wires.

[salsa]

I'm still trying to get my mind around the thought of a *future* husband's preferences superceding a woman's preference to wear earrings in a more comfortable way than clip-ons.

I understand that in fundie-land it's all about men and their wishes; it's just that this seems extreme even by these standards. For most people, wearing earrings is more comfortable than wearing clip-ons.

eta: something I just thought of - it's a way to put off a parent/child decision that ought to be made when the child is young and at home onto a headship no one even knows at this point. Dodging the issue - Parenting fail.

[linnea27]

Some of these answers surprise me a little- so many responses from people who were not allowed to get earrings for a long time! I got my ears pierced for the first time at 5, second holes at 10, cartilege at 12, nose ring at 13, other piercings starting at 16. I didn't realize not getting you ears pierced until your teen years was so common. It didn't seem that way where I grew up.

[RachelB]

The only time I ever saw my mom get mad at her mother-in-law was when Grandma took me to get my ears pierced. I would have been 11 or 12. (I'm not entirely sure what that was about, even now-- though I'm sure it was not about saving my earlobe virginity for a future husband.)

Anyway, Grandma was right that I really wanted earrings. And Mom was right that I wouldn't always care about earrings so much. And I was right that 20 years later, the whole fight would seem pretty silly.

My ears don't really like having stuff in them. Also, it turns out I'm not that much of a jewelry person, and my holes have closed up. I don't regret the experiment, though.

Edited to add: When I was 17 or 18, I wanted to go to a rock / punk festival. My parents agreed that I would not be going, "because we don't want you to go off and get your nose pierced." It wasn't until years later that I realized they were probably actually more worried about my safety than my behavior.

[Mama Mia]

Some of these answers surprise me a little- so many responses from people who were not allowed to get earrings for a long time! I got my ears pierced for the first time at 5, second holes at 10, cartilege at 12, nose ring at 13, other piercings starting at 16. I didn't realize not getting you ears pierced until your teen years was so common. It didn't seem that way where I grew up.

It must depend on where you live. Somewhere between infant and 5 seems to be the norm here, and the additional piericings seemed to follow about what you said - if they got them.

[Flossie]

The only time I ever saw my mom get mad at her mother-in-law was when Grandma took me to get my ears pierced. I would have been 11 or 12. (I'm not entirely sure what that was about, even now-- though I'm sure it was not about saving my earlobe virginity for a future husband.)

If my MIL had taken one of my kids to get their ears pierced without my permission there would have been hell to pay. That is not something a nonparent should be facilitating with a minor. Luckily, in my state piercings on people under the age of 18 is prohibited without written consent of a parent, and government issued picture ID must be provided at the time the written consent is given.

Anyway, we gave our kids the option to get their ears pierced when they turned 10, but it took a couple of years before they were ready. One of my kids hasn't done it at all and says she probably never will.

If my husband and I had ever entertained getting our kids ears pierced as infants, seeing what happened with my SIL would have changed that. Firstly, they had their baby's ears pierced at three months because the mom wanted to buy all the cute earrings. Basically it amounted to doing that to a baby so mom could get the entertainment of shopping for and dressing up the baby's ears. Then the poor baby got an infection that came and went for several months. Finally, the Dad bought the then six months old baby a pair of $1200 diamond studs. He said it was so she could look her best when he took her back home to meet his family, but we all knew it was really so he could brag about how much money he made. The trip was marred when the baby pulled one of the earrings out and swallowed it. It passed safely after a day or so, but the whole experience turned me and my hubby off of early ear piercing for children.

[lorem ipsum]

The earliest my mom would let me get earrings was 10, and I got them as soon as I could after my birthday. I think it was a good age and it's probably what I'd do with my daughter if I had one (or with my sons, if either of them end up wanting a piercing or two).

In the area where I grew up, ear piercings on babies/young children were *strongly* associated with very low socioeconomic groups (read: pretty much exclusively the stereotypical 'trailer trash' types) so I'd probably never be able to bring myself to do it earlier than 10. But I recognize that's a regional/cultural thing. :)

[miffy]

I got my ears pierced when I was thirteen.

I had wanted pierced ears since I was a little kid, but my parents said I had to wait until I was old enough to clean and care for them myself.

I got mine at 10 for the same reason. Mum was very firm about the fact that I would have to be the one to put the stuff on them while they healed & if they got infected because I didn't look after them I would have to let them heal over.