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tabitha2

kelly bates mothers day...

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klf7412

I just watched the video and I have to say that Calli-Anna saying her Mommy always hugs her is so sweet!

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Wine time!
nokidsmom

Well I am not a Bates family fan any more than I am one of the Duggars but I have to give Kelly credit for being more involved with her children. She clearly is and it shows.

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Meh
formergothardite

So she gets breakfast in bed every morning made by her young child? Is that what he meant by "I usually make her an egg every morning maybe toast and bring it up to her along with raspberry tea."?

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laura oz
So she gets breakfast in bed every morning made by her young child? Is that what he meant by "I usually make her an egg every morning maybe toast and bring it up to her along with raspberry tea."?

I caught that too. We always rip on Michelle for making the Jslaves cater to her, and I really had hope that Kelly was made of different stuff than that. I still think she probably has more of a relationship with her kids than Jchelle does, but now I'm feeling like a herp derp because I thought she was different. Kind of the anti Michelle. For some reason, this makes me so inexplicably sad.

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lizziesmom

I hate reading quotes by adults referring to their children as their 'best friend'. Children should have best friends their own age, not be an adult's best friend. You see this kind of stuff all the time in the land of child pageants.

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klf7412
I hate reading quotes by adults referring to their children as their 'best friend'. Children should have best friends their own age, not be an adult's best friend. You see this kind of stuff all the time in the land of child pageants.

I'm not sure that I agree with you... I think I get what you mean, but growing up (during my teen years), my Moms and my very close relationship morphed in to a friendship... But then again, I have always been annoyed with the whole "hang out with someone YOUR OWN AGE" thing...

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lizziesmom

I'm not sure that I agree with you... I think I get what you mean, but growing up (during my teen years), my Moms and my very close relationship morphed in to a friendship... But then again, I have always been annoyed with the whole "hang out with someone YOUR OWN AGE" thing...

I should have been more clear. Even as I typed it, I was thinking about my close adult relationship with my mom and how she probably was my 'best friend'. That was after I had grown to adulthood though and had many friends of many different ages along the way. We evolved from mother/daughter to friends who happened to be mother/daughter.

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Meh
formergothardite

I caught that too. We always rip on Michelle for making the Jslaves cater to her, and I really had hope that Kelly was made of different stuff than that. I still think she probably has more of a relationship with her kids than Jchelle does, but now I'm feeling like a herp derp because I thought she was different. Kind of the anti Michelle. For some reason, this makes me so inexplicably sad.

The Duggars made it clear from the very first episode that their kids were slaves, I think Kelley and Gil cover it up a little bit more. I think if she saw more of their life they would look just as bad as the Duggars.

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klf7412

I should have been more clear. Even as I typed it, I was thinking about my close adult relationship with my mom and how she probably was my 'best friend'. That was after I had grown to adulthood though and had many friends of many different ages along the way. We evolved from mother/daughter to friends who happened to be mother/daughter.

I get what you mean... I guess I am more sensitive to the "friends your own age" thing because I was friends with my Mom while I was a teenager and I know some relatives found our relationship abnormal/unhealthy/etc (but, in general those people were very close minded..lol).

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Wine time!
nokidsmom

The Duggars made it clear from the very first episode that their kids were slaves, I think Kelley and Gil cover it up a little bit more. I think if she saw more of their life they would look just as bad as the Duggars.

I do want to clarify that while I give Kelly credit for being more involved with her kids as compared to J'chelle, that doesn't mean that they don't still rely on their version of the J'slaves. I believe they do. Further to that, they rely on one of their working sons to make ends meet which I see as wrong. They may cover it up more or we just haven't seen enough to know more of their lives as compared to the Duggars. It's probably a bit of both, IMHO.

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Meh
formergothardite

I think Kelly might actually like children while Michelle only likes tiny babies, which makes a big difference in how they interact with their kids.

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dilannsmom

I get what you mean... I guess I am more sensitive to the "friends your own age" thing because I was friends with my Mom while I was a teenager and I know some relatives found our relationship abnormal/unhealthy/etc (but, in general those people were very close minded..lol).

I think parent/child best friend relationships can be difficult to navigate. As a high school teacher I see many ill behaved students (particularly girls) who refer to their mom as their best friend. I want to shake these moms and remind them that their job, first and foremost, is to PARENT--not friend. Kids need boundaries and those can be hard to define when they view their parents as their friends--and therefore an equal and ally.

As the parent of a near teen I would love to be her best friend...and hopefully that will happen. But my primary responsibility to her is to be her parent. Best friends don't ground...best friends don't set curfews...best friends don't make sure that homework is done, chores are done, etc. This is the job of parent.

**For those of you whose mom was best friend...good for you. But whenever I hear that from a kid (or a parent) I worry. I think it is the exception, not the rule. If my mom had been my "best friend" growing up I may have ended up in jail...I needed boundaries and somebody who would set them and not back down. I can appreciate that now, and my mom and I have a relationship that is very close.

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Tom Slick

Not a Bates leghumper but from that video and their canceled TV show, you can tell that the Bates have a WAY BETTER family dynamic than the Duggars.

From the way the children answer questions about their mother and everyone else in the family, to me not rehearsed so to speak but more genuine.

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klf7412

I think parent/child best friend relationships can be difficult to navigate. As a high school teacher I see many ill behaved students (particularly girls) who refer to their mom as their best friend. I want to shake these moms and remind them that their job, first and foremost, is to PARENT--not friend. Kids need boundaries and those can be hard to define when they view their parents as their friends--and therefore an equal and ally.

As the parent of a near teen I would love to be her best friend...and hopefully that will happen. But my primary responsibility to her is to be her parent. Best friends don't ground...best friends don't set curfews...best friends don't make sure that homework is done, chores are done, etc. This is the job of parent.

**For those of you whose mom was best friend...good for you. But whenever I hear that from a kid (or a parent) I worry. I think it is the exception, not the rule. If my mom had been my "best friend" growing up I may have ended up in jail...I needed boundaries and somebody who would set them and not back down. I can appreciate that now, and my mom and I have a relationship that is very close.

I definitely agree with the majority of what you said.. Re the bolded.. I actually think that my Mom was able to parent me with minimal resisitance from myself when disciplining because of our friendship... It gave me a respect for her views, rather than just listening to her because I was being forced to.. But, I was a very different teen from norma; I didn't go through the typical rebellion stage so my Mom very rarely needed to use her "mom card".

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slickcat79
So she gets breakfast in bed every morning made by her young child? Is that what he meant by "I usually make her an egg every morning maybe toast and bring it up to her along with raspberry tea."?

Maybe he didn't actually mean every morning, literally. It was a special about mother's day, and we didn't hear the question that he was responding to. Maybe he just meant every mother's day, or special occasion. Sometimes kids (or anyone who's not used to being filmed) can use a wrong word like that.

Or maybe Kelly is every bit as lazy and self-centered as Michelle and just hides it better.

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bananacat
http://www.wbir.com/news/article/273757/8/Mothers-Day-is-19-times-as-nice-for-Kelly-Jo-Bates

the love those kids exude for their mama is a stark contrast to the duggars when talking about michelle.

I believe it's called Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe that isn't the best term in this scenario, but Gil and Kelly absolutely abuse their children as much as the Duggars, and it's common for victims to show affection to their abusers. It's part of the cycle and it just means these parents are better and the psychological and emotional components of the abuse. The kids are so isolated that they don't know they don't deserve to be beaten, and they're so completely dependent, even more than most children, that they see no other option.

I mean fuck, even I loved my abusive father as a kid. I guess I still love him even though we've been estranged for years. That doesn't mean he was any less toxic and it certainly doesn't mean he was a good parent.

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Closed Womb

Maybe he didn't actually mean every morning, literally. It was a special about mother's day, and we didn't hear the question that he was responding to. Maybe he just meant every mother's day, or special occasion. Sometimes kids (or anyone who's not used to being filmed) can use a wrong word like that.

Or maybe Kelly is every bit as lazy and self-centered as Michelle and just hides it better.

When their show was on they did a segment where Kelly was showing the older girls how to fry chicken so they could cook for their "feller" if/when they got one. It was pretty damn clear that these girls were not the cooks in the family. Maybe this breakfast in bed is such as I used to make for my mom when I thought cooking would be fun? It could be a sacrifice for Kelly to eat that egg. I don't know how bad my food was, but I do recall making undrinkably strong instant coffee.

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roddma

Everyone thought the Duggars were wonderful when they first appeared on TV then things changed quickly. The lost a large part of their fan base once viewers found out the beliefs. I think if the Bates show had lasted, they would be taking as many trips as the Duggars to keep interest. I do agree with others who say they have a different dynamic Gil and Kelly seem much more charasmatic and believable,but we don't see the inner workings totally.

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daisyfern
I think Kelly might actually like children while Michelle only likes tiny babies, which makes a big difference in how they interact with their kids.

:agree: You hit the nail on the head with this observation!

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Lulu

Most mornings my 9yr old makes breakfast for his Dad, even having huge crying tantrums if Daddy leaves for work without waking him to make his breakfast. Its not something that DH or I have made him do but something he likes to do. DH says he feels guilt over it, not so much that he doesn't eat the eggs on toast :lol: It started when he was little, at one time he was up to 3 breakfasts-one with Daddy, one with me and one with the rest of the kids when they woke up. Sometimes its a bonding thing, my eldest daughter will make us a cup of tea and bring it to me in bed and we will snuggle and read together.

I really love Mothers Day. I love giving the children $5 for the Mothers Day Stall at school and the enjoyment they get from buying things from it, the handmade crafts from school. I love sitting in bed on Mothers Day mornings and eating the chocolates, wearing the cheapo earrings that turn my ears green after 1hr, the cards. Having 6 kids means I get a good haul :dance:

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Black Aliss
I usually make her an egg every morning maybe toast and bring it up to her along with raspberry tea.

Never mind the breakfast in bed. Raspberry leaf tea is a common herbal remedy to tonify the uterus. Kelly must still be trying for #20.

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AVENues

Never mind the breakfast in bed. Raspberry leaf tea is a common herbal remedy to tonify the uterus. Kelly must still be trying for #20.

I heard that. Some women drink it a few weeks before their due date to make labor easier. Also, once pregnant, they are forbidden to drink raspberry (leaf) tea because it's a well know abortive remedy just like dong quai, pennyroyal, or that wild carrot kind of thing. (Seriously, some wild carrot, one of it's name contains the name "Anne" and it's seed, in particular is an abortive remedy. Too lazy to google... They say they make the very labor itself easier, but pregnant women are discouraged from the consumption of any of these.

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AVENues

CNyeVWmmJHo Totally unrelated but this is the only acceptable group called "Bates" to me : ))))))

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bbfreethinker

I heard that. Some women drink it a few weeks before their due date to make labor easier. Also, once pregnant, they are forbidden to drink raspberry (leaf) tea because it's a well know abortive remedy just like dong quai, pennyroyal, or that wild carrot kind of thing. (Seriously, some wild carrot, one of it's name contains the name "Anne" and it's seed, in particular is an abortive remedy. Too lazy to google... They say they make the very labor itself easier, but pregnant women are discouraged from the consumption of any of these.

Queen Anne's Lace?

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