how I almost ruined Mother's Day

[linnea27]

raisinghomemakers.com/2013/how-i-almost-ruined-mothers-day/

She had the nerve to expect her husband to make her breakfast on mother's day and almost ruined god's day! Quelle horreur!

I was so caught up in thinking about how the day should revolve around me that I lost sight of the many opportunities God had given me that morning to honor Him first. The irony is that each chance for me to die to myself and exemplify Jesus to my family was particularly related to motherhood!

So I decided Mother’s Day wasn’t about what I was going to get as a Mom, but what I was going to give. By His grace, God was going to get the glory. It was His day after all, not mine. And those little people He uses to bless, challenge, and refine me? They were going to know that Mommy can love them more than herself because Jesus loved her first.

I don't know how these women manage to stay married to such selfish asses. No wonder they are so bitter to everyone else. $10 says Father's Day isn't all about mom sleeping in while dad "dies to self" and gives his all to the family.

[Koala]

Today my husband got up early while I slept in. By the time I was up he had worked in the yard and served our children a hot breakfast. He did not wake me up. The cat did. He would have been content to leave me to my sleep.

Also file under: Thank god I didn't marry a fundie.

[linnea27]

Apparently the lord's day of rest doesn't apply equally to men and women, either?

[lizziesmom]

If being a mother is so damn special, I would think any fundie woman would be given the day off and everyone in the household, from Dad on down, would take care of her chores and stay out of her way. Don't know why God would object in the least or take it as a slight.

[debrand]

Lowered expectations, how depressing. Why couldn't she wake her husband's ass up? Granted, when you have very little kids, it is almost impossible to have a stress free mother's or father's day, but that doesn't mean that dad can't get up and help.

Why do these women always make their 'perfect' marriages sound like that they do all the work. Do they realize that they make their husbands sound like asses? My husband would have felt embarrassed if I wrote this about him.

[tanksmom]

The passive aggressiveness of this post is what sticks out to me the most. Heaven forbid she have one day a year when she wasn't the indentured servant to her family. And I'm willing to bet if she didn't do something for father's day she would consider herself a terrible wife. So instead of discussing with her husband how he can make her life slightly easier for one flippin day a year she would rather turn it around to prove that she was the selfish one to expect help? With multiple young ones in the house it might not mean breakfast in bed but would it kill him to change a kid, walk a cranky baby or take the kids out of the house for an hour or two so she can get some piece.?

[Hane]

I used to get Guideposts, an inspirational religious-lite magazine. In a May issue, in a list of the month's holidays, I remember it referring to the second Sunday in May as "Mother's Day, or, in some churches, The Celebration of the Christian Family" or some such. No--it's not Jesusy enough for wimmenfolk to have their own day. They might get uppity or something.

[treehugger]

Well, since it was a guest post written by Jacinda, it doesn't surprise me to read this. After all, her husband was the gem of a man who couldn't be half assed to do laundry for a whole week after she had her miscarriage last year. It is a depressing post though. I am SO glad I didn't marry a fundie!

[latraviata]

raisinghomemakers.com/2013/how-i-almost-ruined-mothers-day/

She had the nerve to expect her husband to make her breakfast on mother's day and almost ruined god's day! Quelle horreur!

I don't know how these women manage to stay married to such selfish asses. No wonder they are so bitter to everyone else. $10 says Father's Day isn't all about mom sleeping in while dad "dies to self" and gives his all to the family.

I asked my husband, who was working at his office, to come pick baby up and take him off my hands, so I could have some peace. Being the ultimate sweetie that my husband is, he did just that. ***

he would have taken an example to PP and it was not even Mother's Day!! He is such a sweetheart to watch his OWN child just like that, while at the same time Zsu is homeschooling the other six, decluttering the house, cooking meals, concreting their driveway, and sewing 6 modest swimsuits!!

[teachergirl]

ugh...Jacinda is only 23! She just had her birthday which means she has been pregnant four times in four years....

The theology behind the " I never need a break, Jesus died for my sins so any tired, cranky, annoying day I have cant compare to his pain is how they keep this going. If for a moment they allowed themselves to think their lifestyle isn't sustainable, then it starts to fall. Kimberly from Raising Olives has posted similar ideas. These poor women, agreeing to something I don't think you can fully understand until you are knee deep in small children with a husband who isn't expected to do much, either inside or outside the home.

[Jinderella]

I think she just really hates her husband. Because I can only see myself doing this thing when I was truelly, totally pissed with my husband. Waking up before he does (very easy to do) on mothersday, going out of bed before he had a change and posting on the interweb how the children were so excited they couldn't wait for daddy to get up. Our family and friends would all praise me and say nasty thing about my husband. Revenge!

I love my husband and children a lot, so I would never do this. Motherday is not just about mommy, it is about giving your children a change to show their appreciation. I don't like staying in bed after eight, but on mothersday I do. I don't like breakfast in bed, but on motherday I smile. I don't like a breakfast of candy, cakes, yoghurt, meat and cookies, but on motherday I will eat it. I will wear the juwellery my children made out of pasta and use the cheap showercream that smells like straberry's. Because motherday is not just about me, it's about my children and husband making an effort. And I aprreciate it.

Edit: I found at least a few of the riffles!

[idonthaveajname]

It's cool though, you guys. Per the comments. he worked lots of hours that week, way more than her! He totally deserved to sleep in.

Love,

Also so glad I'm not married to an asshole

[SpeakNow]

It's cool though, you guys. Per the comments. he worked lots of hours that week, way more than her! He totally deserved to sleep in.

Love,

Also so glad I'm not married to an asshole

Really, the only way the husband's actions are excusable is if he were genuinely sick. Unfortunately, that's not the case here.

[thoughtful]

I guess Jacinda's headship doesn't have an alarm clock.

I can see being philosophical about it if an expected special day doesn't turn out as one wants. I actually dislike the fuss and high expectations of holidays, and am one of those "celebrate every day" people.

But turning it into a guilt trip for herself is just awful. Especially since she's in a culture in which being a mother is the only thing for which she is supposedly valued.

I've never been a mother, so I don't know what this feels like personally. But I can think of lots of ways that people celebrate Mother's Day, and it always involves the Dad doing something, whether it is encouraging the kids to recognize Mom's worth, giving gifts, making it a family day, doing housework, taking the kids off to let Mom have alone time, or some combination of the above.

But then, I hang out with families in which parents share household duties and are both very involved with their children's care, every day of the year.

[infooverload]

As others have stated here it will be interesting to see what the women in these families do when Father's day comes up. After all the message should not be just women dying to their own wants, but both genders having to sacrifice. Somehow though I think we will see women practically falling over themselves to say what a great dad their man is. Meanwhile the men showed the women in their lives no appreciation and they are left to justify it. From an outsider looking in this seems to not be a great selling point of their life style.

[latraviata]

I guess Jacinda's headship doesn't have an alarm clock.

I can see being philosophical about it if an expected special day doesn't turn out as one wants. I actually dislike the fuss and high expectations of holidays, and am one of those "celebrate every day" people.

But turning it into a guilt trip for herself is just awful. Especially since she's in a culture in which being a mother is the only thing for which she is supposedly valued.

I've never been a mother, so I don't know what this feels like personally. But I can think of lots of ways that people celebrate Mother's Day, and it always involves the Dad doing something, whether it is encouraging the kids to recognize Mom's worth, giving gifts, making it a family day, doing housework, taking the kids off to let Mom have alone time, or some combination of the above.

But then, I hang out with families in which parents share household duties and are both very involved with their children's care, every day of the year.

I am mother and I don't give a toss about mother's day. It was fun when they were both very young and in Kindergarten, they made the mother's day gifts at school. Very touching gifts, so cute! I But when they grew older I generally felt quite appreciated and respected without the false sentiments of a mandory mother's day.

[treehugger]

So, we didn't really do anything special for Mother's Day. But, then again, every weekend, when hubs is home all day - he takes care of the baby and I get to nap and take a break for having the baby for the rest of the week. So, while I didn't get breakfast in bed on Mother's day, I didn't have to change diapers or feed wee one either (I just never do on the weekends - my husband willingly does that). That being said, I am pissed off at Jacinda's headship, not because I believe holidays are to be mandatorily celebrated but because it was obviously something important to her and he just didn't care enough to set and alarm and help. It ticks me off to no end that being a mother is all these girls have to look forward to, and their husbands can't be bothered to celebrate them and all the hard work they do (and yes, it is HARD work taking care of 3 kids under the age of 4 - definitely every bit as hard as working a 9 - 5 job). His job is no fucking excuse for being a piss poor husband. My husband works 12 - 16 hour days and still realizes that it is damn hard getting up in the middle of the night to take care of a baby, and never having down time ever, so he helps out on the weekends. The sense of entitlement these fundie husband's have is nauseating.

[linnea27]

Yeah, we didn't do a ton for Mothers Day either. We were out of town for one of my son's sport tournament. But, despite that, and despite the fact that my husband works a lot, he did what he could to make it special.

I reject the notion that he worked soooo much more than she did and needed the sleep. Not only is she up a few times a night with a newborn, but she is caring all day for three kids age three and under. She is "on duty" the whole time he is gone, plus I don't believe for an instant that he takes on equal parenting when he is home- as evidenced by his refusal to wake up early to care for the kids ON MOTHER'S DAY, doing the laundry while she was hospitalized with complications from miscarriage, etc.

I find her passive-aggressive decision to post this story interesting. For all her talk about RESPECTING TEH MENZ she does seem to like to show what BS she has to put up with. I would never make some of the posts she does about her husband. When I am mad at my husband I don't take it on the road and advertise it to the world. I think the holier-than-thou posts about how loving and selfless she is are really poorly disguised attempts to garner appreciation for all the shit she puts up with. Since she clearly doesn't get it at home.

This would be in contrast to us evil heathen women, who constantly "disrespect" our husbands by addressing concerns we have directly to him and working towards a solution. I guess it is more Godly to call him a lazy ass to the world?

[linnea27]

Do we know what her husband does that he is working soooo much harder than her that it is physically impossible for him to wake up on Mother's Day?

[docmom]

All the comments basically said "I didn't get anything special for Mother's Day either. Thank you for showing me I should be grateful for my bastard DH". So, so glad I didn't marry a fundie. We should use these posts to help encourage our children away from such lifestyles!

[curlytoes79]

So mother's day isn't about what you, as a mother, should get, but about what you should give. So on father's day, is daddy going to be waiting up at 6am with the screaming baby and making breakfast for everyone?

What do you wanna bet....not?