My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding

[BlondeAgent007]

I said there is still discrimination in the LGBT community. But over the past several decades, there have been many improvements and things HAVE gotten better. I can't speak for people who live in small towns, since I have never lived in one and I know things are a lot worse in other areas. I can imagine being in an isolated area would be difficult. But the people I've come across have gone out of their way to diffuse stereotypes. This may be because I live in a liberal city with a large LGBT community. The older generations are still a little backwards, but even my parents have said that attitudes are a lot different than they used to be. And its happening because they work as a community to change the way they are viewed. i don't think it's a coincidence that more and more public figures are coming out and still receive support when in the past it would have definitely ruined their careers.

I only mentioned the LGBT community as an example of people who i think are doing a great job representing themselves as a culture. and that what they're doing is slowly working to change attitudes and preconceptions. Why can't other groups, Like Rom, be more proactive about changing attitudes? Instead of becoming elusive about topics, why not be more open about things that people question?

[RR88]

A person's business is his business. What he does with his money, who he sleeps with, and where he worships need not be justified to you unless these behaviors are directly harming you. Why should minority (or, for that matter, majority) groups be open about every aspect of their lives, Lindsay?

[Sola]

Going back to the show here. Check this out:

http://www.merchantcircle.com/business/ ... 8-349-1308

It's Pat Baby's listing in Merchant Circle. Read it very carefully and then check out the one and only review. It pre-dates the airing (but probably not the filming) of MBFAGW.

Now check this out: http://experts.merchantcircle.com/busin ... 8-349-1308

Notice how it says make checks payable to Patrick Kelly. Hmm....if he's running a reputable business the checks should be make payable to a company not an individual.

On that same episode we saw Pat Baby parade his underage daughter down the streets of Boston in that revealing party outfit. At the first party a lot of slut-shaming going on there. "Gorger girl showing too much of her who-ha" (they all looked dressed the same to me). Then Priscilla tries to explain that gypsy girls may dress and dance a little more sexy but they won't be all over the boys unless you're a dirty girl. In my book she just flat out called "gorger girls" sluts. Not cool. In my book this is worse than all the talk about NIKE, defrauding, and purity by the Duggars whether there was creative editing and scripting or not.

So because TLC shows one scumbag family, we should do away with the entire culture?

How about this, TLC shows another scumbag family; the Duggars. Should we do away with ALL Christianity then Genie?

[emmiedahl]

I may be wrong, but I think Anxious Girl was referring to the fact that She Wears a Funny Hat proudly hit her small children. So the Amish who live near her, if they aren't abusing their animals, then they treat their animals better than she treated her children. At least that is how I took her comment.

Oh, I did not make that connection. I thought she was talking generally to all of us.

I officially recant the "Oh, please :roll: " tone of my former posts. The info stands, though. The Amish take shitty care of their animals.

[emmiedahl]

Going back to the show here. Check this out:

http://www.merchantcircle.com/business/ ... 8-349-1308

It's Pat Baby's listing in Merchant Circle. Read it very carefully and then check out the one and only review. It pre-dates the airing (but probably not the filming) of MBFAGW.

Now check this out: http://experts.merchantcircle.com/busin ... 8-349-1308

Notice how it says make checks payable to Patrick Kelly. Hmm....if he's running a reputable business the checks should be make payable to a company not an individual.

I run a pretty reputable business, but as a sole proprietor all checks are made out to my name. That's pretty normal.

[Guest Anonymous]

Oh, I did not make that connection. I thought she was talking generally to all of us.

I officially recant the "Oh, please :roll: " tone of my former posts. The info stands, though. The Amish take shitty care of their animals.

Ahhh, okay. Ditto here, to all of that.

[valsa]

Why can't other groups, Like Rom, be more proactive about changing attitudes? Instead of becoming elusive about topics, why not be more open about things that people question?

Maybe because a culture that's been persecuted sometimes almost to the extent of extinction shouldn't have to whore their lives out to half-witted sociopaths to justify their own existence.

Fucking privilege all over again. How the fuck are you so full of yourself that you can, in good conscious, sit on your pedestal and say, "I don't like this culture. Therefore they should have to explain to me why they should be allowed to continue to exist"? What gives you the right?

[BlondeAgent007]

60-80% of married gypsy women report direct domestic violence (The Irish Travellers have the higher figure). That means Traveller women are much more likely than not to experience domestic violence. That's also an issue, like finances, that they don't like to talk about...

[emmiedahl]

You can only change yourself. You cannot change everyone in your ethnic group.

Right now there is massive scandal in the Jewish community over douchebags trying to cover up molestation. I cannot stop being Jewish, and I like my culture. But I cannot make assholes stop molesting little girls. So I just protect my children and encourage Orthodox friends to speak up when they see something suspicious. Cultures change one person at a time, and I think the Rroma probably are as attached to their culture as I am to my own.

[BlondeAgent007]

i don't understand how if 60-80% of the females in a culture are being abused, how that isn't a culture wide problem, and not an isolated problem. That stat is from this website with a link to a much longer more detailed document. The few episodes of MBFGW and other traveller documentaries that discuss this issue really just gloss over it. The girls just look kind of embarassed and shrug it off as if it's just something they have to deal with. And they don't. It's a real, huge, issue, especially, that they seem to think its normal or okay.

http://www.gypsy-traveller.org/your-fam ... -violence/

[geniebelle6901]

So because TLC shows one scumbag family, we should do away with the entire culture?

How about this, TLC shows another scumbag family; the Duggars. Should we do away with ALL Christianity then Genie?

I'm simply snarking on this show just like I would the Duggars. Neither get a free pass from me. Everybody is so eager to post tid-bits they find from the Duggars and other fundie sites, but why not the people on this show? An admitted criminal (DUI & fighting were mentioned) pimping out his 14-year old daughter, slut shaming at a party, and running shady business deserves every bit of snark he gets.

[emmiedahl]

i don't understand how if 60-80% of the females in a culture are being abused, how that isn't a culture wide problem, and not an isolated problem. That stat is from this website with a link to a much longer more detailed document. The few episodes of MBFGW and other traveller documentaries that discuss this issue really just gloss over it. The girls just look kind of embarassed and shrug it off as if it's just something they have to deal with. And they don't. It's a real, huge, issue, especially, that they seem to think its normal or okay.

http://www.gypsy-traveller.org/your-fam ... -violence/

So 60-80% of Travellers hit their wife. This is wrong, but is it a reason to end the culture? I live in a country where 80% of parents admit to hitting a helpless child, which is in my opinion worse than hitting an adult. Should someone just bomb the US and end the madness and abuse?

[geniebelle6901]

I run a pretty reputable business, but as a sole proprietor all checks are made out to my name. That's pretty normal.

But there were other people working for for him. He wasn't working alone.

[BlondeAgent007]

We as a culture are recognizing this is a problem. There are whole countries that have banned the practice, and regulations are getting stricter and stricter here in the US involving corporal punishment. There are lots of people saying, "this is wrong, we are acknowledging it, and working to change it". People I grew up with were hit with belts, which is now against the law in a lot of places.

Overweight and obesity is the fastest growing epidemic in this country, at least 2/3 of all adults are overweight or obese. We aren't denying the problem and sweeping it under the rug anymore. Change can only occur if we are willing to address problems, be frank about them, and come up with solutions. Being elusive only makes problems worse.

[valsa]

Being elusive only makes problems worse.

And discriminating against people only makes them elusive.

Stop making problems worse, Lindsay.

[emmiedahl]

We as a culture are recognizing this is a problem. There are whole countries that have banned the practice, and regulations are getting stricter and stricter here in the US involving corporal punishment. There are lots of people saying, "this is wrong, we are acknowledging it, and working to change it". People I grew up with were hit with belts, which is now against the law in a lot of places.

Overweight and obesity is the fastest growing epidemic in this country, at least 2/3 of all adults are overweight or obese. We aren't denying the problem and sweeping it under the rug anymore. Change can only occur if we are willing to address problems, be frank about them, and come up with solutions. Being elusive only makes problems worse.

No, we really aren't dealing with problems. We have made no progress in the last decade or so and many of these problems are getting worse. Some individuals are against it and speak out, just like some Travellers speak out against the issues in their community. If the French government decided American culture was not worth having on the planet, it would be understandable and yet wrong.

[BlondeAgent007]

http://www.stopspanking.com/#Statistics ... 0Need%20to

MOST CHILDREN in the United States experience spanking and other legal forms of corporal punishment (CP) by their parents. Research up to about 1985 shows that more than 90% of parents used CP on toddlers and more than half continued to use it during the early teen years. Even this high figure represents a decrease from 99% in the 1950s and 97% in 1975. There have been further decreases since 1985, but almost all children continue to experience CP. These high prevalence rates and the high rates of approval of spanking may be interpreted as an indication that parents spank with little thought of possible side effects, such as later aggression.

It's still high, but parents face a lot more scrutiny now for spanking than in the 50's. And the latest statistic was from almost 20 years ago.

ETA: Also, spanking as a fetish among adults has become more and more mainstream. Because of the internet there are a lot more people coming out of the woodwork to be open about this. Anyone I know personally through the scene, whose blogs I have read, or who provide professional services would never hit a child, because these people tie such a strong connection between spanking and sex. It just seems really perverted.(I don't know if this applies to couples practicing CDD, since they deny any sexually related fetish at all). AAAND i think I just ousted myself as a kinky bitch ;)

[Witsec7]

http://www.stopspanking.com/#Statistics%20You%20Need%20to

MOST CHILDREN in the United States experience spanking and other legal forms of corporal punishment (CP) by their parents. Research up to about 1985 shows that more than 90% of parents used CP on toddlers and more than half continued to use it during the early teen years. Even this high figure represents a decrease from 99% in the 1950s and 97% in 1975. There have been further decreases since 1985, but almost all children continue to experience CP. These high prevalence rates and the high rates of approval of spanking may be interpreted as an indication that parents spank with little thought of possible side effects, such as later aggression.

It's still high, but parents face a lot more scrutiny now for spanking than in the 50's. And the latest statistic was from almost 20 years ago.

So what do you really mean?

[deelaem]

And what is the common thread in in all these negative aspects of various cultures? Patriarchal rule, that's what. I'm not about to blame an entire culture for the problems of some of it's members, with the exception of the the patriarchy, which is the dominant culture. There is where I heap all the blame.

[formergothardite]

So Genie, are you ever going to explain why you are able to give understanding to people who use the "N" word when they get angry because they are discriminated against and not give any to the Roma culture?

And thewhite southerners you offer understanding to are no where near as discriminated against as the Roma.

[BlondeAgent007]

Emmiedahl stated that things haven't changed in over a decade with our own culture when we identify and talk about problems. Spanking has dropped at least 10% within the last generation, which shows views and practices ARE changing. As a nation we acknowledge the obesity epidemic, and legislation is passed all the time regarding food. Schools spend more time teaching healthy eating. School lunch programs need to meet certain requirements to receive their funding. Some businesses have gyms inside of them. Restaurant menus now list calories and include some healthier options. Change doesn't happen for any culture overnight. Other countries have picked on the US for awhile for being so heavy. For years we have been trying to find a solution to the problem, not deny that our country has a weight issue.

[emmiedahl]

In case you have not noticed, many people in the Christian community are using more extreme methods of corporal punishment than would have been acceptable even 50 years ago. There are books about it. And Michelle Obama is under intense fire for suggesting that maybe ketchup is not a vegetable. Nothing has changed on that front.

[Witsec7]

Emmiedahl stated that things haven't changed in over a decade with our own culture when we identify and talk about problems. Spanking has dropped at least 10% within the last generation, which shows views and practices ARE changing. As a nation we acknowledge the obesity epidemic, and legislation is passed all the time regarding food. Schools spend more time teaching healthy eating. School lunch programs need to meet certain requirements to receive their funding. Some businesses have gyms inside of them. Restaurant menus now list calories and include some healthier options. Change doesn't happen for any culture overnight. Other countries have picked on the US for awhile for being so heavy. For years we have been trying to find a solution to the problem, not deny that our country has a weight issue.

I am seriously trying to understand where you are coming from. I know you were asked your apx. age earlier.Did I miss your response?

[BlondeAgent007]

These are also the same members of the christian community that go out of their way to set themselves apart so they can feel better than everyone else. I think if nothing else we can all agree on that, or we wouldn't be on FJ. The fact that this group is regressing is not new.

And ur always going to get those people that don't understand stupid. As a DTR student I almost lost it when I had a patient ask me if twizzlers counted as a fruit. Efforts are being made, though, and people are trying to educate themselves about food. Whenever I mention my major everybody seems to want to tell me about what they eat and why. Its hard to open a magazine without coming across articles about nutrition. I know magazine articles aren't always credible, but there mere heavy prevalence shows what sells magazines. There is definitely interest.

Dietetics is one of the few fields where the demand hasn't gone down, and has perhaps increased. Companies are adding dieticians to their teams, and more people are going for 1 on 1 counseling than before.

[emmiedahl]

These are also the same members of the christian community that go out of their way to set themselves apart so they can feel better than everyone else. I think if nothing else we can all agree on that, or we wouldn't be on FJ. The fact that this group is regressing is not new.

And ur always going to get those people that don't understand stupid. As a DTR student I almost lost it when I had a patient ask me if twizzlers counted as a fruit. Efforts are being made, though, and people are trying to educate themselves about food. Whenever I mention my major everybody seems to want to tell me about what they eat and why. Its hard to open a magazine without coming across articles about nutrition. I know magazine articles aren't always credible, but there mere heavy prevalence shows what sells magazines. There is definitely interest.

Dietetics is one of the few fields where the demand hasn't gone down, and has perhaps increased. Companies are adding dieticians to their teams, and more people are going for 1 on 1 counseling than before.

Magazines were full of healthy eating even in the sixties. But my point is that we are trying, but things are moving forward at a snail's pace. Cultural change takes time. The same for the Rroma. And we get mad when French people call us a bunch of child-beating fatties, so you should realize why the Rroma don't benefit from our critiques of their culture.