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Raising Servants of Christ post on Duggar daughters


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Check out Kat's latest post about the Duggars... :roll:

 

 

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Will Jana, Jill, Jessa, and Jinger Duggar Marry?……Will MY Children Marry?……..Yes, If It Is God’s Will!

 

May 16, 2013 by raisingservantsofchrist

 

They are such beautiful girls, inside and out.

 

They are such beautiful girls, inside and out.

I love the Duggars, plain and simple. I think they are a great family, trying to do good things. We have watched their television show for so many years, watched them evolve from simple Christian people on a quest to keep their children from becoming worldly, to becoming world-renowned. It is this circle of events that has me hoping and praying that their time on the airwaves will not jade them.

 

With the sweet however, comes the sour. As much positive as the Duggar’s try to put out there, negative things are sure to follow……..like rumors. Anyone who has a computer or has watched the news knows that the life of a celebrity is often times likened to a train wreck and just like a rubbernecker who passes a horrific car crash, ordinary people want to ‘see’ all of the bad in these people’s lives………who’s dating who, who’s getting a divorce, which star has a drug problem, which singer failed to pay taxes, etc. The Duggars unfortunately, are no different and truth be told there has been a lot of unflattering rumors that have come out about this seemingly amazing family. Yet, unless you know the Duggars personally, or you have the honest proof, then they are just that……..rumors.

 

Rumors are swirling right now as we speak, about the oldest Duggar children. These rumors are not getting started by media moguls or Entertainment Tonight (is that even still a show?), but the Christian homeschooling community itself. After reading many blogs and websites about my favorite show, I am seeing a disturbing trend that looks a lot like a celebrity news mill…..who’s dating who, who’s pregnant and who’s not, who’s GAY (good gracious people, leave these poor kids alone!), who’s FAT (really??????), or who’s going to write a tell-all book about what family life is really like at the Duggar home (not like the one that the oldest Duggar girls’ wrote either, read below to find out more about that one).

 

Talking at a 15-year-old's birthday party during the episode, Love and Marriage on the TLC show 19 Kids and Counting

 

Talking at a 15-year-old’s birthday party during the episode, Love and Marriage on the TLC show 19 Kids and Counting

I know that these rumors are getting through to the Duggar family. I know this, because when my family and I were watching a recent Duggar episode, ‘Love and Marriage’, where the older girls were talking at a 15-year-old’s birthday party, they addressed a lot of these rumors…….under the pretext of giving advice to other teens their age. Here is the ‘shocking’ truth, and I say truth because it came from their own mouths and who are we to say any different? Also, even if there are ‘secret’ things going on behind the scenes, if they wanted you to know they would have told you!

 

1. There are NO Duggar courtships going on right now. NONE. I hope they don’t tell the whole world if they are in a courtship relationship or ‘dating with a purpose’, as I am still so sad for Zach Bates and Sarah Reith, who were filmed on the Duggars show as they began a courtship relationship. Here is how that ended:

 

Zach Bates and Sarah Reith during their courtship days

 

Zach Bates and Sarah Reith during their courtship days

Many have asked for an update on Zach and Sarah’s courtship that was announced last June. After prayer, Sarah decided to end the courtship several months after it began. We have not posted any updates or answered any comments about it until now, in order to give both Zach and Sarah time to heal.

Any parting of a relationship causes pain, and although we would love to avoid heartaches in life, it is through these very trying times that character and faith often grow. For Zach, it has been a time of learning, thinking, and drawing closer to Christ.

Zach is grateful that he and Sarah hadn’t chosen the traditional path of dating, since it protected them from wrong goals and further pain. The three main goals of their courtship were 1. to maintain purity, 2. to discover if they were the right life partners for marriage, and 3. to honor God first and foremost in their relationship. In that sense, their courtship was a success, as they achieved each of these goals.

Although the relationship did not progress into engagement and marriage, their time together was focused on strengthening their walk with the Lord, and therefore ended in friendship. Zach is grateful for having developed a relationship with Sarah and her family. He has learned valuable insights from the example of their family harmony and love for God. In spite of the pain of parting, he is full of memories and experiences that have encouraged him, strengthened him, challenged him, and humbled him. He can appreciate the growth that has taken place in his life as a result of these circumstances.

Thank each of you for your prayers and thoughtfulness!

 

This was written by Kelly Bates on her family’s blog http://www.thebatesfamily.com I think she did a great job with the post, but I hope there is not a need to have to write another one in the future (meaning that the children will not be quite so public with their relationships).

 

2. They believe in ‘DATING WITH A PURPOSE’. I suspect that after what Jill said when she was speaking at the birthday party, that they are very aware that some people in today’s society believe the word ‘Courtship’ is kinda creepy…….and hey, maybe they are right. There are some religous groups that ARE kinda creepy and very controlling of their children’s lives at all costs. Yet in the case of the Duggars, the Bates, and so many other Christian families who are trying to lead their children onto God’s path and not the way of the world’s, the word ‘courtship’ should not be viewed as something antiquated and manipulative. It is simply a way for two people of the opposite sex to get to know each other, under the protection of a loving family member who will help guard the couple against impurity. I know, God Forbid we protect the sexual purity of our children!

 

3. They are ON BOARD with it! Sure, they are parroting the beliefs of their parents, and no, they probably don’t agree with everything their parent’s have taught them about dating, courtship, or purity either. Did you believe everything your parent’s taught you? No, of course not (but I learned as I got older that they were right more often than they were wrong…..thanks Mamma and Daddy!). Yet, instead they trust their parent’s enough and ultimately they trust GOD enough to give over their futures to Him. Even as an adult, I struggle with a lot of the things in the Bible. It would be so easy to say that the Bible was written in different times, therefore it does not apply to me. Yet, that still small voice inside tells me that His Word is absolute no matter what generation I come from.

 

The Duggar Girls new book, "Growing Up Duggar", coming March 4, 2014

 

The Duggar Girls new book, “Growing Up Duggarâ€, coming March 4, 2014

4. Finally, THEY WROTE A BOOK ABOUT IT! Yep, they wrote a book about their life, their beliefs, and what it’s like for them as a Duggar. The book is entitled, “Growing Up Duggarâ€. It will not be released until March 4, 2014 (according to amazon.com), but it could not come soon enough for me!

 

It made my heart swell when I heard them lay out their beliefs and convictions before the general public as a tribute to their parents and their God. I am gladdened that they are so courageous and strong in their faith that they can withstand the pressure of not dating…….even though they are so obviously getting firmly into their twenties. Yet, as a mother with teens in the ‘dating age range’, I cannot help but be concerned for not only the Duggar children, but my own children as well. How on God’s beautiful green earth, will these young adults ever meet the one that they will marry? What type of person would have the courage and conviction to march past the gates that are in front of the Duggars home and ask to court a Duggar daughter? Who will be strong enough, confident enough, and slightly bold enough to want to marry into the lifestyle that the Duggars lead? My own children do not live in a reality television bubble like the Duggars do, but we have many of the same values……which lead to many of the same hurdles. So, who will our children marry and when?

 

The answer is easy…….They will marry exactly WHOM God has chosen for them to marry. They will marry exactly WHEN God has chosen for them to marry. Finally, they will marry under the EXACT CIRCUMSTANCES that God has chosen them to marry under.

 

All they have to do is trust in Him, believe that He has the very best things in store for them, and that everything is done in His own perfect time (sorry Duggar’s, NOT in Duggar Time!) They must lead the life that God has laid out for them, not the one that they have envisioned……..good medicine for all of us, not just young people looking for marriage. Finally, to let God’s voice and their parent’s council be their guide, as there is nothing written in the Bible about dating (plenty about sex between one woman and one man in marriage, but nothing at all about courtship or dating).

 

Told you it was easy……..(yeah, right!)……..but with God and Jesus Christ at the wheel, we can’t and they can’t go wrong!

 

Proverbs 3: 1-5 says: My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

 

Matthew 6:25-34 says: Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

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They are not going to marry if they've got their heads buried in sand. Mr Right is going to walk right by and not even see them. God helps those who help themselves.

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The story of the god-fearin´man, the flood and the 3 ships, people... the story of the 3 ships. THINK OF IT! *pointingwithawaggingfingerhere!*

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I love this part:

There are some religous groups that ARE kinda creepy and very controlling of their children’s lives at all costs. Yet in the case of the Duggars, the Bates, and so many other Christian families who are trying to lead their children onto God’s path and not the way of the world’s, the word ‘courtship’ should not be viewed as something antiquated and manipulative.

Some are creepy and controlling, but I'm not, and neither are the Duggars or Bates! The problem with the Duggars (and less so the Bates, which I believe is why they were not as popular) is that they are too relatable. The loving mom and dorky dad with the sweetheart Jana, sarcastic Jinger, "ambitious" Josh and adorable Jackson and Hannie make it easy for people to see themselves reflected in the Duggars, and then they apply their brand of religion to them.

I'm not super-controlling of my kids, and they look just like my family, so no way they can be! ...except we can point to multiple examples of them being creepily controlling. "Jinger doesn't really want to live in a city..." anyone?

It's the same with blanket training and so many other things. The danger of the Duggars is exactly that- people see them as relatable and just like their non-imposing Christian selves, then start using the products they endorse and supporting the candidates they support, and before they know it, they're down the rabbit hole.

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My parents also came from a church where no dating is allowed, god shows you who you should marry. (Church of god in christ menn-onite - Hold-oman) . We heard all our lives how god told Dad to marry Mom. Then later, when we were older, my aunts told me how Dad had 'asked for' many other women, and Mom was the first one to say yes. They had a dysfunctional 59 year marriage, until mom passed away.

This crap does not work!!!eleventy1!

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These rumors are not getting started by media moguls or Entertainment Tonight (is that even still a show?), but the Christian homeschooling community itself.

Please o please tell to me where the Christian homeschooling community is writing about the Duggar gossip! Blogs, forum? Where? I need to read the other Christians gossiping on the Duggars!

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I love this part:

Some are creepy and controlling, but I'm not, and neither are the Duggars or Bates! The problem with the Duggars (and less so the Bates, which I believe is why they were not as popular) is that they are too relatable. The loving mom and dorky dad with the sweetheart Jana, sarcastic Jinger, "ambitious" Josh and adorable Jackson and Hannie make it easy for people to see themselves reflected in the Duggars, and then they apply their brand of religion to them.

I'm not super-controlling of my kids, and they look just like my family, so no way they can be! ...except we can point to multiple examples of them being creepily controlling. "Jinger doesn't really want to live in a city..." anyone?

There was also the most recent episode, where Josh asked his parents for advice about moving to DC. Jim Bob and Michelle didn't come right out and say no, but they discouraged the move. Later, Josh and Anna spoke to Anna's parents, who were much more supportive. They actually gave advice without trying to manipulate Josh or Anna. I'm not saying that the Kellers are a perfect family, but they are not as controlling as the Duggars. Compare the adult Keller kids and their various paths in life with the adult Duggar kids. I understand why most of the posters here cringe at the thought of Josh working for the Family Research Council. But as creepy as that organization is, I hope Josh takes the job and moves away from his parents.

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Please o please tell to me where the Christian homeschooling community is writing about the Duggar gossip! Blogs, forum? Where? I need to read the other Christians gossiping on the Duggars!

Agree!!!

Enquiring minds want to know ;)

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Not controlling my ass! Jim Bob and Michelle do nothing but control every aspect of their children's lives. Why is it, that in a household with several adult children, only one has moved on to live his life? Why is it that even though a large majority of the children have expressed interest in career fields that demand post secondary education, not one of the kids has gone to college? Why is it that when the older girls display attitudes that they clearly don't want to be raising their siblings (Jessa anyone), they are still there doing it every day? Why is it when some of the kids quite obviously do not want to be on camera, they are still forced to be? Why is it that when a child has an emotion, other than happy, they are prohibited from displaying it?

I wonder why Jim Bob and Michelle are so damn afraid. Do they not trust their parenting abilities? If they raised their children correctly, then they should not be fearful of sending them out into the world to forge their own way. They obviously do not trust their children or believe in their parenting. It's the only reason all those kids are still at home. It's an unhealthy situation. The point of parenting is to create productive, independent, well-rounded adults and then set them free.

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There was also the most recent episode, where Josh asked his parents for advice about moving to DC. Jim Bob and Michelle didn't come right out and say no, but they discouraged the move. Later, Josh and Anna spoke to Anna's parents, who were much more supportive. They actually gave advice without trying to manipulate Josh or Anna. I'm not saying that the Kellers are a perfect family, but they are not as controlling as the Duggars. Compare the adult Keller kids and their various paths in life with the adult Duggar kids. I understand why most of the posters here cringe at the thought of Josh working for the Family Research Council. But as creepy as that organization is, I hope Josh takes the job and moves away from his parents.

Good on the Kellers for encouraging their daughter and son-in-law to embrace adventure and obtain new experiences. There's no reason why Josh and Anna shouldn't go to DC. If things don't work out, they can always move back to Arkansas. How do you know if you'll like something if you never try it? DC may be the perfect place for them. With Josh's love of politics, I think he'd really enjoy DC. Jim Bob and Michelle are some of the worst parents I've ever seen. Sure, they don't physically abuse their children, but they definitely emotionally abuse them. Josh is an adult with his own family. Why couldn't they simply encourage him to follow his dreams instead of raining on his parade in a veiled attempt to keep control of him. Yeah, my parents would be sad if my family moved away, but if it was truly something we wanted to do, they'd be supportive. Thank god I wasn't unfortunate enough to be born a Duggar. The guilt trips and control must get old.

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Who is this tool? Another leghumper? I can't keep track with them anymore.

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Not controlling my ass! Jim Bob and Michelle do nothing but control every aspect of their children's lives. Why is it, that in a household with several adult children, only one has moved on to live his life? Why is it that even though a large majority of the children have expressed interest in career fields that demand post secondary education, not one of the kids has gone to college? Why is it that when the older girls display attitudes that they clearly don't want to be raising their siblings (Jessa anyone), they are still there doing it every day? Why is it when some of the kids quite obviously do not want to be on camera, they are still forced to be? Why is it that when a child has an emotion, other than happy, they are prohibited from displaying it?

I wonder why Jim Bob and Michelle are so damn afraid. Do they not trust their parenting abilities? If they raised their children correctly, then they should not be fearful of sending them out into the world to forge their own way. They obviously do not trust their children or believe in their parenting. It's the only reason all those kids are still at home. It's an unhealthy situation. The point of parenting is to create productive, independent, well-rounded adults and then set them free.

I've always known that the parents want to and do control every single aspect of their children's lives, but I realized just how closed off those kids are, while I was watching the episode with Josh and JB working with the personal trainer. Josh had never had the equivalent of "gym class" and didn't know how to do a "jumping jack."

From K-8, I went to Catholic school in the city. Our gym classes and recess all took place either in the school/church parking lot or in the school auditorium (depending on weather). We didn't have any real "equipment" and didn't have a playground, but we had gym class 1-2 times a week where we ran, raced, did things like jumping jacks, situps, push ups, we played dodge ball and kickball.

I went to a Catholic High school with a little more formal gym class; we spent 4-6 weeks each on different things, but still either in the auditorium or on the one of the two fields we had at the time (Baseball/football) - softball, field hockey, gymnastics, running/hurdles, country line dancing (yes, that's true!), ballet. It wasn't much, but it was something.

It makes me so sad to know that those kids have never done anything athletic or physical. I'm not athletic in any way, can't run to save my life, don't have a lot of endurance, and am pretty uncoordinated, but at least I did some activity on a regular basis. If the body is a temple, they should honor it by using it. Those kids should be outside playing all the time; Michele always says it's too hot or too cold to play outside. I've been to Northwest Arkansas at least 10-12 times and yes, it can get really hot and humid in the summer, but not 100% of the day, and not nonstop.

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Anyone who thinks the Duggars and Bateses aren't controlling is an idiot of the highest kind. Those women will never get married, because their parents won't let them get married. If any of them wanted to court someone that their father didn't approve of, she would be given an ultimatum and would have to leave completely if she wanted to pursue it. And if JB somehow changed his mind and decided that one of them did need to get married, you better believe they would have no choice in it. Refusing to marry someone that God and Daddy hand-picked for you would also mean being shunned from the family.

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None of the Duggar daughters will marry until Jim Bob dies. Their hymens will have to be pried out of his cold, dead hands.

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None of the Duggar daughters will marry until Jim Bob dies. Their hymens will have to be pried out of his cold, dead hands.

:brain-bleach: Ewww that is not an image I needed in my head!

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It's one thing to call it God's will. It's another to depend solely on Boob.

Do they believe that God doesn't speak to women?

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*sigh*

That person needs to learn the difference between plural and possessive.

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It makes me so sad to know that those kids have never done anything athletic or physical. I'm not athletic in any way, can't run to save my life, don't have a lot of endurance, and am pretty uncoordinated, but at least I did some activity on a regular basis. If the body is a temple, they should honor it by using it. Those kids should be outside playing all the time; Michele always says it's too hot or too cold to play outside. I've been to Northwest Arkansas at least 10-12 times and yes, it can get really hot and humid in the summer, but not 100% of the day, and not nonstop.

You dont need an actual PE class to stay healthy. You just need to be active. You do need some basic education in how the human body works to understand this. Its easy to stay trim when you are an active growing little child. The hard part comes when you get to be an adult. You are no longer moving around like you use to and your metabolism slows down. Some people keep eating the same kind of diet but have reduced activity. I think this is where Josh was coming from. He probably had little to no formal education on how the human body works. I could see him not understanding that his body was changing as he became an adult. He could no longer eat junk, not exercise, and stay trim. He needed someone like a trainer to education him.

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Wasnt the book supposed to come out in November? I wonder why it was pushed to March...

Yeah it was - maybe they're on Duggar time or have changed their minds about what they want to write about?

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I've always known that the parents want to and do control every single aspect of their children's lives, but I realized just how closed off those kids are, while I was watching the episode with Josh and JB working with the personal trainer. Josh had never had the equivalent of "gym class" and didn't know how to do a "jumping jack."

From K-8, I went to Catholic school in the city. Our gym classes and recess all took place either in the school/church parking lot or in the school auditorium (depending on weather). We didn't have any real "equipment" and didn't have a playground, but we had gym class 1-2 times a week where we ran, raced, did things like jumping jacks, situps, push ups, we played dodge ball and kickball.

I went to a Catholic High school with a little more formal gym class; we spent 4-6 weeks each on different things, but still either in the auditorium or on the one of the two fields we had at the time (Baseball/football) - softball, field hockey, gymnastics, running/hurdles, country line dancing (yes, that's true!), ballet. It wasn't much, but it was something.

It makes me so sad to know that those kids have never done anything athletic or physical. I'm not athletic in any way, can't run to save my life, don't have a lot of endurance, and am pretty uncoordinated, but at least I did some activity on a regular basis. If the body is a temple, they should honor it by using it. Those kids should be outside playing all the time; Michele always says it's too hot or too cold to play outside. I've been to Northwest Arkansas at least 10-12 times and yes, it can get really hot and humid in the summer, but not 100% of the day, and not nonstop.

...but they get to play four square in the house, and fly plastic bag kites and use daddy's redneck slip-n-slide! what more could you ask for?

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Don't the Duggars typically graduate from homeschool around age 15? If so they have NINE children who have graduated from high school. Only one has a job, working for his Daddy. Maybe two, if Jill's allowed to get paid. Those aren't great parenting statistics.

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Josh kind of has a job, and John David actually has a job (towing and construction type stuff); with Jill's internship, let's call it two and a half kids with jobs. But, yes, not exactly stellar stats.

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Those evil gossips! Gossiping about private romance business of people in the public eye. Shame on them for not minding their own business... ooh, did I tell you the juicy news about how the Bates courtship fizzled? I've even got a C&P!

I wonder why Jim Bob and Michelle are so damn afraid. Do they not trust their parenting abilities? If they raised their children correctly, then they should not be fearful of sending them out into the world to forge their own way. They obviously do not trust their children or believe in their parenting. It's the only reason all those kids are still at home. It's an unhealthy situation. The point of parenting is to create productive, independent, well-rounded adults and then set them free.

They didn't raise those children to be fully functioning adult humans, they raised them to be obedient servants. An obedient servant needs a master, so they can't ever become independent. You and I coach our children in decision making from the time they can talk, we help them learn how to evaluate people and situations, first by demonstrating "Bobby, that tree is surrounded by concrete, why not climb this one with mulch and grass around it?" or "well, I'm not giving you ice cream for dessert because we had cake for snack", then by coaching "did you tell Mrs Jones that your partner did no work?", then by being backup "well, I'll help you with gas money if you mow the lawn and wash my car, but next week I won't, you have to budget for it". They spent their time making their kids run and do pointless task on demand.

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