Lori Alexander on Kids and Toys in the Bedroom - Merge

[micatite]

That kind of constant presence and the associated noise would have driven me (and my parents) nuts. I always say that we were happy to be alone...together. So we were all in the same house, but dad was in his office puttering on his computer or working on his pickup rebuild in the garage, mom was in her room or the living room watching TV or doing crosswords or prepping for work, and I was in my room (usually with the door shut) making up stories and acting them out with my Barbies or reading books or practicing singing or dressing up the cat and dog or whatnot. One thing we know...we ALL need huge amounts of alone time, yet we're all comforted by the notion that we know the others are in the household with us.

[pirouette]

I'm another one who spent a lot of time reading and playing by myself. And I completely, utterly agree that having adults around would have squashed my creativity. I was (am) very shy about showing anyone things that I created or made, so having to include someone else in my intricate games of Shipwrecked Stuffed Animals (à la Swiss Family Robinson), or even have someone watching me while I was playing, would have been the end of my very active imagination. I was a pretty good kid, and I did spend a fair amount of time with my parents, but if I had been tomato-staked (basically what she's advocating) I would've been miserable. Give your kids some goddamn freedom! Little things like this (basic freedom to choose what room to play in) would hurt so much to lose.

And my only sibling and I are rather far apart in age-- we pretty much never used the same toys (I handed them down when I was too old) so learning to share (except for control over the one family TV) was a non-issue. I learned to share with my next-door neighbor instead. And practically every weekend for years, one of us spent the night in the other's house (gasp!).

Basically, Lori, just stop.

[GolightlyGrrl]

My mother said she was so glad my sister and I could entertain ourselves. Sure, my mom did spend time with us. She read to us, played games, did crafts, etc. But she also needed to to cook, do stuff around the house, putter in her garden, and have a cup of coffee and some adult conversation with a friend. Hmm, and there were times my mom just wanted to chill and watch an episode of "Donahue"-an ebil liberal, Catholic. Luckily, she wasn't a control freak like Lori, and she didn't always have to be on our butts 24/7. Somehow my sister and I managed to not become devil worshipers because we spent time in our bedrooms playing with our Barbies or reading some kick ass Judy Blume books.

[Jezebel]

I'm an introvert; so are my mother and both of my siblings. There were a lot of fucked-up things about my childhood, but having a hovering, intrusive mother who had to constantly be placated and accounted to was not one of them. I remember a lot of peaceful afternoons after school when I'd hide out in my room and read, draw, listen to records, or act out some imaginary scenario with my toy animals (I didn't like dolls).

I needed "alone time," when I didn't have to deal with anyone else, or explain myself or what I was doing. I think having that time to myself in between getting home from school and my mom getting home from work helped keep me somewhat sane during my teen years, when everything was really going to shit. So whenever I read about the Duggars' daily lives, or the Maxwells', or what Lori describes here, it's like reading a description of Hell. I have always had a huge problem with being dominated and controlled, too--I'm very cooperative when asked nicely and given a good reason to do something, even if it's something I don't want to do. But try to force me, and I will dig in my heels and not even physical punishment can make me comply (as my dad found out in one of the more horrifying episodes from my childhood). I probably would have ended up either beaten to death in early childhood--or else burning the house down before I'd even hit puberty--had I been raised in a hypercontrolled family like one of these.

[Lulu]

We have a playroom, actually its the garage awaiting a reno. In our first house we made the garage into a playroom and it was great-1 wall was painted as a giant blackboard and we added heaps of cabinets, it was heaven. It meant no toys in bedrooms, no huge messes in bedrooms or children up late at night playing. Also for toys that were sharing type like the trainset, toy kitchen etc could be shared. And it houses the lego, which needs a room all of its own :pink-shock:

Im not a big fan of the bedrooms crowded with toys, bedrooms should be restful a few favorite toys, books and the ability to make the space as the child wants.

[Arete]

1 wall was painted as a giant blackboard

One of my siblings was just discussing doing this to one of the walls in her basement. Do I understand correctly that this paint allows the wall to be used as a chalkboard, and can be erased with a chalkboard eraser? If so, I can see why she is getting the Martha Stewart glint in her eye. That set of niblings love to draw.

[yewchapel]

One of my siblings was just discussing doing this to one of the walls in her basement. Do I understand correctly that this paint allows the wall to be used as a chalkboard, and can be erased with a chalkboard eraser? If so, I can see why she is getting the Martha Stewart glint in her eye. That set of niblings love to draw.

That's right. Chalkboard paint is awesome.

[belly_button]

That's right. Chalkboard paint is awesome.

I wish we could do this (we rent). My daughter would love it and it would occupy her for hours. We've recently had to have another talk about why we don't write on walls/furniture, when I saw that she wrote in pen in the bathroom. But seeing "I love you" written on the bathroom vanity every morning isn't the worst way to start my day.

And those of you that have an actual playroom, I think you're so lucky. I'd much rather have that instead of toys taking over the bedroom. One day...

[dawbs]

I wish we could do this (we rent). My daughter would love it and it would occupy her for hours. We've recently had to have another talk about why we don't write on walls/furniture, when I saw that she wrote in pen in the bathroom. But seeing "I love you" written on the bathroom vanity every morning isn't the worst way to start my day.

And those of you that have an actual playroom, I think you're so lucky. I'd much rather have that instead of toys taking over the bedroom. One day...

FWIW, you can do it on a large piece of wood or metal and then mount it to the wall--then it's not permanenet.

AND, extra special bonus, if you do metal, it's also magnetic, which leads to extra awesome.

like this:

sunshineontheinside.blogspot.com/2012/04/oil-drip-pan-chalkboards.html

(Can be done for around $20)

(Also, can be done on old board books--then you can use a silver sharpie to make it into a chalk-board-book that you can travel with. Ours comes out at church every week--like this: blog.makezine.com/craft/how-to_chalkboard_book/ :)

[Duggarlicious]

Or, do what we did-bought chalkboard and whiteboard contact paper from Amazon and put it on the doors. Works great!

[NurseNell]

I

I was watching an episode of Dennis the Menace from the 1961 tv series yesterday. Mr. Wilson is telling Dennis' parents about this one child who begged for a tv set of his own to be in his own room. Dennis' parents are shocked, and when Mr. Wilson adds, "a COLOR television set" they are positively horrified. (speaking of which, I thought color tv wasn't invented till 1965? What's it doing in 1961?)

Color TV came out in the mid 1950's although it was a few years before many people had one in their home. I could look it up in my diary but I'm lazy. We saw it for the first time at a fish fry in a local hotel.

My kids did not have TVs or electronics in their bedrooms, neither did we as the parents.

[snackle]

Oh, this is about *children's* toys in the bedroom. I guess it shows I don't have children that my mind immediately thought of the adult variety.

I think I would have died in a family that was together all the time. I'm very introverted. Most of my childhood recollections are me in my room either reading or listening to music. My poor parents sort of lost the lottery on siblings entertaining each other when I really preferred to be by myself rather than entertain my somewhat needy younger sister.

[PurpleSheepleEater]

OMG, if my kids didn't have their own rooms with their own spaces for them to take a break from each other and for me to get a break from them we would all go fucking insane!!

She's an utter control freak.

[NurseNell]

OMG, if my kids didn't have their own rooms with their own spaces for them to take a break from each other and for me to get a break from them we would all go fucking insane!!

She's an utter control freak.

Definitely. My mother would have killed us. I loved my room, curling up with my books. I also loved doing paint by numbers as a kid, I only did them in my room.

[snarktastic]

You want your children within earshot of you most of the day. You need to be there to monitor their activity.

Creeeepy!

[AnywhereButHere]

I've been known to up the timer set for my son's Wii time just so I could finish my pint of Ben & Jerry's so I wouldn't have to share... Parenting at it's finest, I know. ;)

I have a pretty social, open kid. He likes being around us (so far - the teen years are coming up quick!), but everyone needs some alone/decompressing time. No wonder Lori's wound so tight.

[Rosa]

You know, if these moms feel like they have to be right there every minute, no WONDER they also feel that they need to shut their kids down, not allow backtalk, and beat them for not obeying. Normal people just go take a break when they are feeling overwhelmed and in need of quiet.

[patsymae]

I've been known to up the timer set for my son's Wii time just so I could finish my pint of Ben & Jerry's so I wouldn't have to share... Parenting at it's finest, I know. ;)

I just love you.

[Koala]

OMG, if my kids didn't have their own rooms with their own spaces for them to take a break from each other and for me to get a break from them we would all go fucking insane!!

She's an utter control freak.

Your screen name is fabulous! :lol:

[Closed Womb]

When I was a youngster we did not have toys or electronics stored in our room. "Go to your room" was the standard punishment in our house, so my parents (and most of their friends) did not allow the room to be a place of entertainment. Toys, a TV and video games were all in the finished basement, which had a seemingly endless amount of storage.

That said, we were allowed to play with our toys anywhere we wanted to (save the video games hooked up to the TV, of course.) We were allowed to take toys into the bedrooms, outside, family room, whatever. We were allowed to have friends visit and to play in our rooms. If we were reading a book we could keep it in our room until it was done (then it went back on the bookshelf or back to the library.) We were allowed to have sleepovers and to go to sleepovers. It wasn't about spirit crushing restriction ("protection") so much as it was about keeping a clean house and allowing the bedrooms to be primarily for sleep and deep, soul searching contemplation on the rare occasion when we were little budding jackasses. :lol:

[loulou]

I'd go insane if my kids didn't go to their rooms to play. My 15 YO has a TV and XBOX in his room. My 6 YO has no electronics & uses the laptop in the dining room. Her room is full of Monster High dolls and Littlest Pet Shops, and she goes there to play.

Kids in earshot AT ALL TIMES? WHY?

When I saw the title of this thread, I thought Lori was posting about other "toys" in bedrooms -- the kinds adults use!

[Arete]

Your screen name is fabulous! :lol:

Seconded. 8-) Can't get that tune out of my head when your screen name pops up.

[Feberin]

My children don't keep toys in their bedrooms. They have more books then I can count, stuffed animals, dolls and blocks but no other toys. My son still has quiet time to try to convince him to nap where he stays in his room for a little while each day. If he had toys then he would never fall asleep and he can be a beast without one. All our toys are kept in boxes (trofast from IKEA) so they transport easily and when he has trouble sharing I try to get him to take his toy to his room but he prefers to stay with me. His sister at nearly one is more independent so hopefully she'll continue and will play better on her own when she's older.

[GolightlyGrrl]

I'd go insane if my kids didn't go to their rooms to play. My 15 YO has a TV and XBOX in his room. My 6 YO has no electronics & uses the laptop in the dining room. Her room is full of Monster High dolls and Littlest Pet Shops, and she goes there to play.

Kids in earshot AT ALL TIMES? WHY?

When I saw the title of this thread, I thought Lori was posting about other "toys" in bedrooms -- the kinds adults use!

If Lori had access to a Hitachi Magic Wand she might not be so damn obnoxious.

[lilwriter85]

I'm bumping up this thread because of Lori's post from today. She says her kids were involved with AWANA, VBS, and Christian summer camps. In the previous post she discussed here, she said that she didn't allow her kids to have or go to sleepovers. Maybe her kids went to day camps. It would be hilarious if Lori's kids had been doing some not so godly things at Christian camps.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/05/roots-firmly-and-deeply-planted_31.html