Lori Alexander on Kids and Toys in the Bedroom - Merge

[Koala]

If you don't, get the hell off the net and go find out NOW. If they are in their bedrooms, GET THEM OUT! Toys in bedrooms causes broken families! :roll:

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/05/fractured-families.html

Most families don't do things together anymore.

I guess I just don't know any families like this. The families I know have no problem striking a balance between family time and individual/alone time for everyone. Site your sources please Lori.

Don't let your children have toys in their bedroom.

That'a way to take away their individuality.

My kids LOVE their rooms. They are allowed to have posters, stuffed animals, books, games, x-box, tv....all kinds of things. They pick their own bedding and decor, and last Valentines they both saved up for gerbils. They're in their rooms as well. They take great care of them.

Sometimes on a rainy Sat. my daughter will get a good book and disappear into her room for an hour or two just to read. She loves it!

Their rooms represent them and they love being there.

Their bedrooms should only be a place where they read and sleep. You want your children within earshot of you most of the day. You need to be there to monitor their activity. It takes a lot of time to train, discipline, and lead your child in the ways of God. Having the children always play where you are will allow your children to learn to play together. This is something you will have to train them to do. They need to learn to share their toys and not fight.

Here's the crux of it. Lori is looking for opportunities to "discipline".

You don't want your children playing in their bedrooms or having friends in their bedrooms. It is too easy for them to get into mischief when they are alone. I think this is why God wants women with children to be keepers at home so they can continually monitor their children's behavior and the things that influence them.

Actually, my kids love to have friends over and I don't mind at all. The only "mischief" they've ever gotten into was pillow fights, yelling indoors, and running like crazy through my house. Thanks for telling other moms what they "don't want" though.

Children are easily led astray by the world. Mothers need to be there for them continually to protect them from the enemy and guide them. Have all their toys in the family room and in the kitchen, where you spend most of your time. My children were almost always in the family room, kitchen, or backyard when they were young.

It must be very scary to have so little confidence and pride in your child that you have to glue them to your side so they aren't "led astray". Letting them play in their rooms and spend time with friends is hardly throwing them to the wolves.

I'd be a lot more worried about the effects of having a parent that never gave you any space because they feared some imaginary "enemy" was out to get their eternal soul.

They didn't have any electronics in their bedrooms and very few toys. I wanted them around me. Also, be very careful who their friends are and even limit their going to friend's homes. We didn't allow sleepovers. We wanted our children under our roof at night.

You must work diligently to keep your family together. But it will be worth it. Have family dinners and devotions together. Help them to grow deep and strong roots in Jesus so when the winds of the world try to blow them over, they will remain strong and do what is right.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I am one of 6, and I think that if we werent allowed to go play in our bedrooms, I would be insane.

I feel sorry for introverts in these families

[kpmom]

I always assumed Lori was somewhat fundy lite, but this sounds very much like the Maxwell's beliefs.

I know they belong to a mega church. I wonder if they allowed their children to do Sunday School or youth groups?

[Turtle]

My son's toys are in his room, but he's not playing with them right now because he's at preschool and I'm at work. And we are both happy.

Would that blow her mind?

[belly_button]

We don't have a tv in my daughter's room because I think she watches enough as it is, but I prefer her to keep all of her toys in her room. As for keeping her by my side the whole time (well I am an evil worldly working woman), that would drive us both insane. I'm an introvert and she's an extrovert. I have got to have a break from her sometimes.

And I'm no child psychologist, but I really believe children need exposure to many different people and environments. If I kept her tied to me, 24 hours a day with no other stimulation or interaction, what kind of life would that be for her?? There would be no mental growth.

[Jana814]

I agree w/ above it does sound VERY Maxwell like!!

[laura oz]

Why was she allowed to have children? There is something seriously wrong and twisted inside Lori.

[formergothardite]

Pretty sure all the toys here are reproducing and trying to escape the bedroom so they can take over the house. Especially the small sharp toys like Legos and Barbie accessories that will inflict injury if stepped on at night.

[uber frau]

It's 11.35 pm here. My 5 yo son keeps his favourite toys in his bed to stop the robbers seeing them. The less favourite ones are stewn all over the floor to keep the robbers out.

[rward]

Children are easily led astray by the world. Mothers need to be there for them continually to protect them from the enemy and guide them. Have all their toys in the family room and in the kitchen, where you spend most of your time. My children were almost always in the family room, kitchen, or backyard when they were young.

In your house? Satan is in your godly house just waiting to take your child from you when he's gotten 20' of space between you?

I know paranoid schizophrenics who aren't that bad.

[lilwriter85]

I agree with others, that posting show shades of Maxwell beliefs. I think Lori is a bit more hardcore than other fundie lite types. She seems too controlling and some of her past postings have shown that.

You don't want your children playing in their bedrooms or having friends in their bedrooms. It is too easy for them to get into mischief when they are alone. I think this is why God wants women with children to be keepers at home so they can continually monitor their children's behavior and the things that influence them.

Based on that. It looks like Lori is against sleepovers.

[flyawaystray]

Someone has been drinking the Kool-Aid.

[dairyfreelife]

I agree with others, that posting show shades of Maxwell beliefs. I think Lori is a bit more hardcore than other fundie lite types. She seems too controlling and some of her past postings have shown that.

Based on that. It looks like Lori is against sleepovers.

She is

be very careful who their friends are and even limit their going to friend's homes. We didn't allow sleepovers. We wanted our children under our roof at night.

I feel bad for Lori's children and now for her grandchildren. Sleepovers were so much fun. Only things that happened were staying up too late, eating too much and scaring each other with silly ghost stories. Poor Emma and Kenny really won't have a joyful childhood. :cry:

[formergothardite]

What sort of mischief are kids getting into while playing in their bedrooms? I personally don't keep loaded guns, knives, bombs or chemicals in their room, so the worst they could do it maybe color the walls, cut their hair or tear up a toy.

[lilwriter85]

On the topic of electronics in kids' rooms, I can understand why some people don't allow their kids to have TVs, game consoles, etc in their rooms. My parents didn't like the idea of very young kids having TVs in their rooms. I was 12 when they allowed me to have a TV in my room. But prior to that, I had my own little stereo to listen CDs and I had my handheld gaming devices in my room most of the time. My parents had no issues with me playing my Gameboy or listening to music alone in my room. As a child I loved sometime being alone in my room to play, play instruments, read, and do art stuff. I enjoyed doing things with my mom like helping with dinner, playing board games or video games with the rest of my family, watching sports with my dad. But I also loved alone time and I'm sure my parents like doing their own thing at times.

[lilwriter85]

She is

I feel bad for Lori's children and now for her grandchildren. Sleepovers were so much fun. Only things that happened were staying up too late, eating too much and scaring each other with silly ghost stories. Poor Emma and Kenny really won't have a joyful childhood. :cry:

Oh I missed the part about the sleepovers. Like I said before, I feel bad for Lori's kids. I'm around the same age as her oldest son. Her kids are grown now, and I think they probably don't miss what they had or maybe they haven't realized that their mom is a control freak. I feel sorry for Lori's grandchildren. She said in a recent posting that her son and daughter-in-law are against pre-schools, church nurseries, and daycare. The daughter-in-law is probably always going to be a SAHM. I have nothing against SAHMs, but fundie type SAHMs are known for being complete control freaks. Zsu is another example.

[Irishy]

My kids don't have tv or electronics in their bedrooms. Nor do I. The kids have a kid room downstairs which is stuffed with playstation, wii, tv, laptop, iPad, toys, toys, toys and a piano. Bedrooms are for sleeping. Often, they'll read in their bedrooms (especially at bedtime) or take some very precious Lego up there to keep it away from their toddler sister. Tv in kid bedrooms is kinda frowned upon here. Don't know why. It's just not the norm and not something they see in their friend's houses either.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

I'm a little on the fence about sleepovers for my (future) child. I KNOW I'm paranoid, and luckily my partner will be around to balance out my paranoia as we co-parent, but as a sexual abuse survivor, it's not the other kids I'm worried about, but whatever adult males may be in the house. I have the same fears about sending a kid to a male tutor or piano teacher's house, for example. Again, I KNOW, it's not totally rational. I just don't want my kid to have a piece of them permanently warped by someone else's perversion, as I had, KWIM?

We don't do TVs in the bedrooms at our house - there is just one in the living room. But, we (me, partner, and stepson) each have multiple devices that access the Internet, so it's not really a barrier to watching anything. The stepson of course has controls on everything, but with the Internet it's still really hard to know what your kids are being exposed to. Another area where one has to be careful to not be a control-freak, I guess.

[Maggie Mae]

Unfortunately, these beliefs are not uncommon. On the Many Sibling forum that must-not-be-named, it was common advice. Children should NEVER be left alone, because when they are alone in their rooms, they are not participating in the family. Also, boys can not be alone in their rooms because they might get a perversion (actual word used.) I don't really understand it, myself, but I suppose if you are of the belief that the worst thing a child can do is masturbate and not enjoy being around his/her siblings 24/7, well, then the 100% of time = family time is a solution.

I would have been an even more unhappy child if I had been forced to be around people 24/7.

The worst thing that I remember happening at a sleepover (before high school) was the time we stayed up all night drinking Mountain Dew, and watched "Legends of the Fall." Although we were so strung out on caffeine and giggles that no one remembered the film the next day. Or maybe the time we dared each other to drink various combinations of stuff from the fridge and I threw up. Or perhaps the time we dyed the milk green with food coloring, after painting the snow with spray bottles of water/food coloring mixtures. There was one time when we dared each other to call boys and hang up. But that stopped after the first parent answered.

Yeah, I'm not really thinking of anything "Bad" happening at a sleepover. But I know the fundies think that all men are child molesters, so there is that as well.

[Maggie Mae]

My kids don't have tv or electronics in their bedrooms. Nor do I. The kids have a kid room downstairs which is stuffed with playstation, wii, tv, laptop, iPad, toys, toys, toys and a piano. Bedrooms are for sleeping. Often, they'll read in their bedrooms (especially at bedtime) or take some very precious Lego up there to keep it away from their toddler sister. Tv in kid bedrooms is kinda frowned upon here. Don't know why. It's just not the norm and not something they see in their friend's houses either.

I wish it were frowned upon in the US as well. I'm sure that the prevalence of having TV everywhere contributes to our over prescription of sleeping medications. I don't have one in my room now, I have in the past, and I don't miss it. I prefer reading before bed, and I like to keep the bedroom for sleeping, dressing, and sex. Also if I have a desire to watch something and someone else is using the main tv, I have an iPad or a computer to watch what I want.

[nelliebelle1197]

I am a raging heathen and I do not allow electronics in my kids' room and won't. They just do not need that sort of thing. Most of the toys are in there except a few baskets that are in other rooms for convenience. I beg them to play in there!!

[RosyDaisy]

Mine is torturing a toy rat! :lol: :wink-kitty: Lori, you are just a cold-hearted, hateful bitch! :evil:

[keen23]

So here's the deal- my kids don't keep toys in their bedrooms. They have a playroom devoted to kid clutter, their own TV, wii, lots of places for toys, etc. Sure, they can gather all the Barbies and go off to their room and play to their hearts delight, but the Barbies don't stay in the bedrooms. It's a clutter thing- that way the kids are only destroying one room on a regular basis, not four (three bedrooms plus the playroom).

But books- each kid has her own bookcase stuffed full of books, and she can read anything and everything where ever she wants in the house- alone in her room, in the backyard, in the living room, wherever. Because reading should not be censored. The kids don't have any TVs in their bedrooms. I do have one in my room, because the husband likes to watch Sportscenter, and I'd rather watch something (anything) else for an hour or so before bed. I like to have the local news on in the mornings as I'm getting ready for work as well.

I have kids other than my own sleeping at my house on a regular basis, and my kids go to sleepovers on a regular basis. I only allow one night a weekend however, because the children turn into horrible bitches if they don't get enough sleep.

[Jana814]

I wonder how much of her son and daughter-in-law being against everything is them how how much is Lori influence!

But I agree fundie type SAHM's do seem to be control freaks!

[moodygirl86]

I wouldn't say I'm introverted but even I need my Moodygirl-time. Everybody does. Lori is just a sadistic beeyotch.