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Teri Maxwell makes an idol of a microwave cart


johnhugh

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Posted
I am dumber for having read that post about a 30-year-old microwave cart. Jeezus. And bitch can't write.

Teri should form a sweet relationship with an editor to improve her mechanics, usage, grammar and spelling.

:pray:

I would volunteer, but I'd rather not form a "sweet relationship" with Teri.

I'll give it a shot: Spending time looking for losingt homeschool books when we needed them for schooland then the time spent looking for them was a frustrating and wasted our of time we should have had for doing better spent on school work.

There. Brought it down from 31 words to 17. Consiseness is your friend, Teri.

Thanks, Joan of Snark, for giving this unemployed former editor something to do now that she's done with grad school.

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Posted
I looked at their family schedules and it shows that they get less than 7 hours of sleep per day.

Up at 445am, asleep at 10pm.

That's for Teri, which I can see. I usually sleep 6 or 7 hours a night. The "kids" go to bed at 8:30, which is weird for teenagers, but whatever.

I'm sad that the they don't share the schedule for the older kids, because you know they have one.

Posted

No freaking way. Teri is a broken woman.

There is the weird, perverse pleasure one can get from self-denial. I'm guessing she's steeped in it.

I don't know if I can make this make sense, but, long long ago, I struggled w/ something that bordered on eating disorder.

It was 'pleasurable' (drat, I need a better word) to be hungry. To 'enjoy' the self-sacrifice.

Even moreso if there was food I wanted but I was declining it.

(of course, that just means that eventually one gets fed up and binges or one gets 'to good' at declining [and reaches a ponit of complete sanctification :-p] and ceases being tempted--so they have to come up w/ something new to decline. And then they acclimate to that and have to come up with ANOTHER something new. Which is how they ended up in MaxHell anyhow; boiled alive by degrees)

Posted

I cannot stop laughing long enough to think of anything to say about Teri and her cart. :lol:

Posted

I suddenly have this vision of her sneaking a 2-liter of Pepsi out of the grocery sack and after looking around carefully, she unscrews the lid and swigs the entire bottle down in one huge gulp. Then she lets out a monstrous belch and goes on her merry way, chunking the evidence out on the highway while driving home. For the rest of the evening, she's all hyped up on caffeine and sugar. The rest of the family assumes she's just keeping it sweet!

Where else does one get the energy to joyfully clean ceiling fans, windows, walls, baseboards, and kitchen cabinets in their free time every day?

Posted

There is the weird, perverse pleasure one can get from self-denial. I'm guessing she's steeped in it.

I don't know if I can make this make sense, but, long long ago, I struggled w/ something that bordered on eating disorder.

It was 'pleasurable' (drat, I need a better word) to be hungry. To 'enjoy' the self-sacrifice.

Even moreso if there was food I wanted but I was declining it.

(of course, that just means that eventually one gets fed up and binges or one gets 'to good' at declining [and reaches a ponit of complete sanctification :-p] and ceases being tempted--so they have to come up w/ something new to decline. And then they acclimate to that and have to come up with ANOTHER something new. Which is how they ended up in MaxHell anyhow; boiled alive by degrees)

I've been there too. I can remember a time in my life that I somehow enjoyed hunger pangs - or maybe it was that they were a familiar feeling - and if I ever ate enough to not feel them I felt gross and as if I was a disgusting human being. I can totally relate. I still sometimes struggle with it but not to the degree that I did before. It was not something that anyone brought upon me, though; I brought it upon myself.

Posted

I was thinking the same thing! I homeschool one, and I need to buy a second *bookshelf* just to fit his overflow! And we just ordered a bunch of new literature-based unit studies, so I need to get one, ASAP. Art supplies go in a very large Rubbermaid tub, and get replenished every fall when the sales on crayons, markers, glue, pencils, paint and paper are so good. Clay is replenished when Michael's has one of their sales on the huge tubs of the stuff.

I'm not impressed with the smallish microwave cart or the 12 pencils in a jar and a post-it pad.

Yeah, same here. I homeschooled for 15 years, and used a huge floor-to-ceiling linen closet as our homeschool cabinet. I had one shelf per student (only 3) - one shelf for teachers' keys and one shelf for each student - and they were filled. Then I had 4 large "overflow" shelves in our basement wet bar for art and science materials. That was for only one year at a time. Curriuclum not in use at the time, and past papers/books were stored in labeled boxes by grade on shelves in the garage. I could have never contained everything in one little microwave cart. I really hope that wasn't their only means of storing homeschool materials, because if so, they were sadly lacking.

Posted
I looked at their family schedules and it shows that they get less than 7 hours of sleep per day.

Up at 445am, asleep at 10pm.

It looks like the teens are going to bed between 8:30 and 9, but that's barely 8 hours, and I just don't think that's enough for teenagers. I easily slept 9-10 hours as a teenager.

No one has a 9-5 job in that family and there is absolutely no reason they need to be up at 4:45 a.m., except to keep them too exhausted to think for themselves.

Posted

It looks like the teens are going to bed between 8:30 and 9, but that's barely 8 hours, and I just don't think that's enough for teenagers. I easily slept 9-10 hours as a teenager.

No one has a 9-5 job in that family and there is absolutely no reason they need to be up at 4:45 a.m., except to keep them too exhausted to think for themselves.

I'm pretty sure I remember Teri saying in MOTH that she took naps so she could keep up the 7 hours of sleep at night. Not sure about the kids. I know my teens (who are public schooled) need more sleep than that but sometimes it's not possible with all their heathen activities going on - however, they sleep late on the weekends, sometimes getting as much as 12 hours of sleep at night.

I will add, sometimes on weekdays after getting their homework done, they quietly disappear to their rooms and I check on them to discover they are sacked out taking a nap. Their friends do the same! I doubt Maxwell teens were allowed to crash out in the late afternoons, though.

Posted

It looks like the teens are going to bed between 8:30 and 9, but that's barely 8 hours, and I just don't think that's enough for teenagers. I easily slept 9-10 hours as a teenager.

No one has a 9-5 job in that family and there is absolutely no reason they need to be up at 4:45 a.m., except to keep them too exhausted to think for themselves.

Isn't sleep deprivation one of the methods used by cults to brainwash members?

Posted

Isn't sleep deprivation one of the methods used by cults to brainwash members?

Yes. It's a fairly common method of breaking someone.

Posted

Yeah, same here. I homeschooled for 15 years, and used a huge floor-to-ceiling linen closet as our homeschool cabinet. I had one shelf per student (only 3) - one shelf for teachers' keys and one shelf for each student - and they were filled. Then I had 4 large "overflow" shelves in our basement wet bar for art and science materials. That was for only one year at a time. Curriuclum not in use at the time, and past papers/books were stored in labeled boxes by grade on shelves in the garage. I could have never contained everything in one little microwave cart. I really hope that wasn't their only means of storing homeschool materials, because if so, they were sadly lacking.

Sounds like you homeschooled the right way. Whereas we know the Maxhells are doing it the wrong way. When I was teaching evil Catholic/Private/Charter school all my stuff wouldn't have fit in that cart... yes, I used a lot of supplemental materials-- especially in my last year because we pulled stuff from eleventy billion books.

Oh, my, you have a WET BAR in your house!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVIL EVIL WET BAR!!!!!! You taught your children science?? Not from a Wisdom booklet???? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! [runs and hides in prayer closet]

Posted

Ode on a Microwave Cart

by Maxwell House

Thou still sturdy particleboard,

Thou still shiny polyurethane,

You have stored our sweet hoard

Whilst never vain.

Praise Stevehovah for dividers

And Chorepaks for reminders,

But what men or gods are these?

I just want my Pepsi please!

Posted
Ode on a Microwave Cart

by Maxwell House

Thou still sturdy particleboard,

Thou still shiny polyurethane,

You have stored our sweet hoard

Whilst never vain.

Praise Stevehovah for dividers

And Chorepaks for reminders,

But what men or gods are these?

I just want my Pepsi please!

BRAVO!!!!!!!! :text-thankyoublue: :u-rock:

Posted

Sounds like you homeschooled the right way. Whereas we know the Maxhells are doing it the wrong way. When I was teaching evil Catholic/Private/Charter school all my stuff wouldn't have fit in that cart... yes, I used a lot of supplemental materials-- especially in my last year because we pulled stuff from eleventy billion books.

Oh, my, you have a WET BAR in your house!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVIL EVIL WET BAR!!!!!! You taught your children science?? Not from a Wisdom booklet???? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! [runs and hides in prayer closet]

Ha, yes, a wet bar! :) On the wall shelf behind the bar that actually showed, we kept our liquor, but underneath the bar in the hidden shelves were the homeschool science and art materials, lol. We called our basement our homeschool room by day, party room by night. But we are heathen Catholics who enjoy drinking and partying, so yeah. We don't live in that house anymore and I miss my party room.

Posted

BRAVO!!!!!!!! :text-thankyoublue: :u-rock:

LOVE IT! :clap:

Posted

Yes, take a look at their school schedules. Very skimpy on academics.

titus2.com/master-list-downloads.html

I'm not seeing any schedules. Can you give me a run down?

As to the cart, I feel bad for Teri. Her life has been as a home school mom and now what will she be? Mom to 6 stay-at-home kids? How....successful? I wonder if a part of her, buried deep down under the Stevhovah indoctrination, a part of her thinks she's failed because her children are still at home and not doing much of anything. Her children only work because Daddy gives them work, and have no lives outside of their family. What mom really, truly wants that?

Posted

Eleven comments. This microwave cart post warrants 11 comments. Un-frickin-believable.

Have you picked up a high school kid's backpack lately? What they bring home from school every single day? It weighs way more than all those supplies for multiple kids together. Someone is not learning as much as their peers are...must be that lack of sleep.

Posted
Ode on a Microwave Cart

by Maxwell House

Thou still sturdy particleboard,

Thou still shiny polyurethane,

You have stored our sweet hoard

Whilst never vain.

Praise Stevehovah for dividers

And Chorepaks for reminders,

But what men or gods are these?

I just want my Pepsi please!

:lol:

But such a heathen text!

I'll stick with the Bible -- yes, it's the Proverbs 31 cart (for purposes of parody, she needs a husband -- who better than a loveseat?):

Who can find a virtuous cart? for her price is far above $99.99 (with 20% off if you have a Bed Bath and Beyond coupon).

The heart of her loveseat doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

She will do him good and not evil until the yardsale beckons.

She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth stuff from wherever someone wheels her.

She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens, which is a damned creepy thing for a piece of furniture to do.

She girdeth her loins with supports from Steve, and strengtheneth her doors.

She perceiveth that her burden is good: she unpluggeth not the phone by night.

She layeth her wheels to the carpet, and her shelves hold the crappy books.

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for she is heavily polyurethaned.

She maketh herself coverings of dust; her clothing is gray and beige.

Her loveseat is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land – well, under them, actually.

Many pieces of furniture have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain, and Ikea has cute names: but a cart that feareth the STEVE, she shall be praised.

Give her the telephone and some pencils; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Posted
Eleven comments. This microwave cart post warrants 11 comments. Un-frickin-believable.

Including:

The Lord gave me the idea to use a book truck like you find at libraries.

I will only believe it was The Lord if this woman had never seen such an object -- in fact, had never been to a library. Unless she saw it in a vision, I just have to be a skeptic and think she got the idea from BEING IN THE FRICKIN' LIBRARY.

:lol:

Posted

One of the. funniest. threads. ever. Thanks to all for the laughs!!

:lol:

Posted
One of the. funniest. threads. ever. Thanks to all for the laughs!!

:lol:

Agree!!

Posted

Another, um . . . classic ;) parodied:

"Pepsi-Cola lost its spot

My small shelf I have not got.

Now this cart makes me so blue

Pepsi-Cola, oh how I miss you"

For those who don't know the reference:

ym4Ue2xE-Hg

Posted

That is not a yellow vase. That is some sort of memo pad/post it note holder with an area for pens. I am sure it is there to write down phone messages as it is pretty obvious that is a message pad, not art supplies.

I went back and had another look. You are right, nothing as pretty or knick knack-y as a vase; just a boring ol' message pad thingo.

Posted

Just an aside...the banner ad coming up on FJ as I read this thread is for cabinets and storage carts.

Might be able to find something with a hidden drawer for Teri's Pepsi stash.

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