Elizabeth Smart: Abstinence Harms Rape Victims

[mystikchick17]

I ran a search for this and didn't find anything, so apologies if this has already been posted.

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2013/05 ... inence-ed/

(not breaking the link since it's to thinkprogress)

I want to get up and applaud Elizabeth for having the guts to get up there, as a Mormon, and say "you know what? My abstinence-only education actively harmed me as a rape victim." I know a lot of the sentiments she shares are common to rape/sexual assault victims in general, but I think it takes a really sound level of personal insight and reflection to analyze the ways in which her cultural context informed her response to being assaulted.

[Rainytown]

Elizabeth Smart is amazing. It has to be incredibly difficult for her to discuss what happened to her, even years later. The fact she will continue to do so in order to help others is astounding.

[treemom]

I am glad she did that.

My kid just finished up his bullshit seventh grade abstinence only education which was filled with the chewing gum like metaphors.

[idonthaveajname]

Elizabeth Smart is amazing. It has to be incredibly difficult for her to discuss what happened to her, even years later. The fact she will continue to do so in order to help others is astounding.

Totally agree.

[debrand]

It should be common sense that referring to someone who isn't a virgin as being worthless and nasty is a pretty despicable thing to do. Some of these analogies use the most disgusting images that they can to make it sound as if a woman's worth is in her vagina not her brain or sense of compassion

[dawbs]

This may just be me, but, why do people persist in referring to her 'relationship' with her abductor as marriage?

" She was forced into a polygamous marriage, tethered to a metal cable, and raped daily until she was rescued from her captors nine months later."

Could they at least put quote marks around 'marriage'?

(I know it's not ill intentioned, considering the tone of the rest of the piece. It's still poor form, IMO, to call it a marriage)

[DarkAnts]

I am glad she did that.

My kid just finished up his bullshit seventh grade abstinence only education which was filled with the chewing gum like metaphors.

Did it include lines like pet your dog not your date? Thats all I remember from my abstinence only education in Utah. They did not even discuss sex in general.

[Mela99]

This girl makes me so proud. The way she told off Naggy Graceless (Nancy Grace) , testified against her captors, has a happy life now, and decried abstinence only education.

Way to go, Elizabeth

[oil]

recalled a school teacher who spoke once about abstinence and compared sex to chewing gum.

“I thought, ‘Oh, my gosh, I’m that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum, you throw it away.’

OMG

[Tom Slick]

Elizabeth Smart is amazing. It has to be incredibly difficult for her to discuss what happened to her, even years later. The fact she will continue to do so in order to help others is astounding.

100% Agree

A very strong and intelligent woman, more so than other women i know.

[sparkles]

Gah! I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes right now, amazed by this incredibly strong and brave young woman. I'd love to think that she'd change some the minds of some of the hard liners, but I'm sure they'll try to shame her instead. You know, like if she wasn't a female this never would have happened to her in the first place. Her fault, Her Fault, HER FAULT,

[treemom]

Did it include lines like pet your dog not your date? Thats all I remember from my abstinence only education in Utah. They did not even discuss sex in general.

No. It mostly was how your virginity is a gift to your spouse.

Public school, peeps, public school. It is very WTF to me.

[oil]

Gah! I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes right now, amazed by this incredibly strong and brave young woman. I'd love to think that she'd change some the minds of some of the hard liners, but I'm sure they'll try to shame her instead. You know, like if she wasn't a female this never would have happened to her in the first place. Her fault, Her Fault, HER FAULT,

Im wondering if her parents think like her now, too. I hope they will teach the younger children in a different way. Fuck that used chewing gum thing, how can they allow their kids to feel like that. If some one ever finds a response from the parents, please write it here.

[littlemommy]

Pffft, I dare someone to try and shame Elizabeth Smart. She is an amazing person!

[YPestis]

I remember when Elizabeth Smart was first brought home. Her grandfather said that she was still "pure" as any virgin because the sex was forced on her. I thought it odd that this was even a concern for the family (her perceived "purity") as her rape has nothing to do with her worth. However, I guess if this is what they tell people in abstinence-only programs, I can see why some people need to be reminded that having sex itself does not make one worthless.

It just astounds me that there is this type of shaming going on. Sex is an integral part of life. You should no more shame someone for their sexuality than you would for someone's eating habits. Both can be self-destructive, but the solution isn't to ban it or to create an artificial theme around it. The whole abstinence-only education sounds like it gives kids such an unhealthy view on sex.

[sparkles]

Pffft, I dare someone to try and shame Elizabeth Smart. She is an amazing person!

You really think they wouldn't try? The same people who tried to claim the parents of Emily Parker, one of the children murdered in Newtown, were faking her death as part of some grand conspiracy? The same people who claim that the pigs responsible for the Steubenville and Nova Scotia rapes are GOOD boys, it's the sluts who brought it upon themselves who deserve our disgust? Nah, I don't put anything past them. Elizabeth Smart has dared use her BRAIN, she's dared THINK FOR HERSELF so in their minds, she's no longer one of them. She's the enemy now.

[laura oz]

This girl makes me so proud. The way she told off Naggy Graceless (Nancy Grace) , testified against her captors, has a happy life now, and decried abstinence only education.

Way to go, Elizabeth

What was that about Nancy Grace?! What happened? I'm giggling thinking about it. :D

[debrand]

Im wondering if her parents think like her now, too. I hope they will teach the younger children in a different way. Fuck that used chewing gum thing, how can they allow their kids to feel like that. If some one ever finds a response from the parents, please write it here.

I always thought that her parents were a little odd. Didn't the mother tell Oprah that her daughter would just not think about the rape or something instead of going to therapy?

http://ordinaryevil.wordpress.com/2012/ ... ual-abuse/

Elizabeth was told by her mother not to give her kidnappers and rapist one more day of her life, and told to ‘move on.’ That advice was what fit well with their outwardly perfect family, but it does not fit in with reality.

With her mother’s advice in tow, Elizabeth now gives public speeches to other survivors of rape and abuse, and she does so in her perfect outfit with her perfect smile while saying with a hint of smugness, “I never went through any PTSD symptoms.†1

The fact that she is beginning to be critical of common fundish assumptions about purity is very encouraging because I have to admit, her family's attitude toward sexual abuse victims and therapy has troubled me

[GodsKnickers]

What was that about Nancy Grace?! What happened? I'm giggling thinking about it. :D

5x8ARIxg51I

[RosyDaisy]

Ummm....Nancy, Elizabeth was thisclose to telling you to fuck off. Take a hint, the woman didn't want tot talk about her abduction and rape. She wanted to talk about a bill, you stupid, crazy bitch!

[laura oz]

5x8ARIxg51I

:cracking-up: :cracking-up:

The eye expression before she got fed up was priceless. It was like WTH is with this chick?

[GodsKnickers]

NG was just gross in that clip. So saccharinely sweet, condescending, butter couldn't melt, I'm just a good old southern girl, hear my accent get even more pronounced, freaking smarmy. I mean, she typically is that or super bitchy aggressive but this was the worst I've seen here. I wanted to slap her just for that.

[rezski44]

Both Elizabeth Smart and Jaycee Dugard have handled themselves with admirable grace after their horrendous ordeals. All I can say is wow after reading this.

[Claddagh]

OMG

My heart broke reading that quote. You look at the horrible experiences Elizabeth was forced to go through at the hands of these monsters and then she thinks that she's a chewed up piece of gum nobody wants.

Elizabeth has an incredible amount of strength in her.

[Lady]

I remember when Elizabeth Smart was first brought home. Her grandfather said that she was still "pure" as any virgin because the sex was forced on her. I thought it odd that this was even a concern for the family (her perceived "purity") as her rape has nothing to do with her worth. However, I guess if this is what they tell people in abstinence-only programs, I can see why some people need to be reminded that having sex itself does not make one worthless.

It just astounds me that there is this type of shaming going on. Sex is an integral part of life. You should no more shame someone for their sexuality than you would for someone's eating habits. Both can be self-destructive, but the solution isn't to ban it or to create an artificial theme around it. The whole abstinence-only education sounds like it gives kids such an unhealthy view on sex.

I've heard those arguments but they really don't make sense. If I accidentally spill a glass a wine on a carpet vs actively trying to make a stain, the results are the same. It's still a blob on my carpet.

Why not stop focusing so much on purity and look at relationships as a whole? Like looking at the whole room, carpet included.