Virgins until marriage is a topic on AskReddit.

[Cannelle]

Not breaking the link because it's reddit:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comme ... e_on_your/

It runs the gamut, from "It was great!" to "It was okay" to "It was horrible, so horrible that we're divorced now and that was part of why."

[ari_belle]

I always wondered if it hurt for those Quiverfull girls who wait till their wedding night, but their husbands make them keep going anyway.

[debrand]

There is nothing wrong if a person decides to wait until their wedding night to have sex. However, it should be a real choice. It isn't really a choice if someone believes that they are sinning against a god who can send them to eternal torture or that their goodness as a person depends on not having sex before marriage.

[So Says I]

It was interesting how many of the women got UTIs from not knowing they should pee after sex. I think I learned that little nugget of wisdom in "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives" which my sister gave me for my 11th birthday. Knowing is half the battle, after all.

[Chibi Author]

See, this is why I love Free Jinger. I learn so much about sex, pregnancy, and menstruation that I would never ever hear anywhere else.

[Marianne]

I've just discovered another world, now... :o

[Mellanya]

It was interesting how many of the women got UTIs from not knowing they should pee after sex. I think I learned that little nugget of wisdom in "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives" which my sister gave me for my 11th birthday. Knowing is half the battle, after all.

True, but sometimes (very rarely), this will not help. There are women who can try every natural remedy and still end up with a UTI every day. That needs medical attention but unfortunately, not everyone is diagnosed with a fixable issue. Often times, the doctor will not come to a satisfying diagnose and just tell you to "pee and drink lots of cranberry juice". In those cases, find a doctor who is familiar with the issue. It's basically an overreaction to normal bacteria which won't be stopped by peeing. Either way, there are two options then: A long term antibiotic treatment (which will screw up the pill for you and make you sick and weak after 2 weeks, and it will probably just come back once you stop the treatment) or an immunisation via oral treatment or shots.

I know a woman who went through the antibiotic treatment, she couldn't keep it up for long because they made her sick (couldn't eat, stomache felt inflamed, diarreah etc). After she got the shots, she was fine.

FYI - the shots don't mean you don't have to pee after sex, you will still have an UTI if you don't. The shots lower your overreaction.

Just a heads up in case anybody here has these same issues...

[Pretzel]

True, but sometimes (very rarely), this will not help. There are women who can try every natural remedy and still end up with a UTI every day. That needs medical attention but unfortunately, not everyone is diagnosed with a fixable issue. Often times, the doctor will not come to a satisfying diagnose and just tell you to "pee and drink lots of cranberry juice". In those cases, find a doctor who is familiar with the issue. It's basically an overreaction to normal bacteria which won't be stopped by peeing. Either way, there are two options then: A long term antibiotic treatment (which will screw up the pill for you and make you sick and weak after 2 weeks, and it will probably just come back once you stop the treatment) or an immunisation via oral treatment or shots.

I know a woman who went through the antibiotic treatment, she couldn't keep it up for long because they made her sick (couldn't eat, stomache felt inflamed, diarreah etc). After she got the shots, she was fine.

FYI - the shots don't mean you don't have to pee after sex, you will still have an UTI if you don't. The shots lower your overreaction.

Just a heads up in case anybody here has these same issues...

Tell me more about those shots, please!!! :worship: What is the primary agent's name, which kind of doctor will provide this etc.

[yewchapel]

Tell me more about those shots, please!!! :worship: What is the primary agent's name, which kind of doctor will provide this etc.

Seconded! Best friend is trying for a baby and constant UTIs are not helping with the daily sex (I never expected to get told how boring daily sex is, lol).

[crassy]

I've just discovered another world, now... :o

Do you mean the Reddit world? It is a huge time suck but so very awesome!

[Marianne]

I was talking about the world of "I want to stay virgin unil marriage", but yes, i know the reddit-world and when I go to this site for me it's like tumblr : "Don't work. Don't eat. Stay on this site all day being fascinated (and other feels)".

[formergothardite]

It was interesting how many of the women got UTIs from not knowing they should pee after sex. I think I learned that little nugget of wisdom in "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives" which my sister gave me for my 11th birthday. Knowing is half the battle, after all.

I didn't know that until I got my first UTI right after I started having sex. Of course, my sex education was so vague I didn't actually know what sex was until I had it, so it isn't shocking that I didn't know that.

[Mellanya]

Tell me more about those shots, please!!! :worship: What is the primary agent's name, which kind of doctor will provide this etc.

It's called "StroVac" here. I'm not even sure if it's available in the US, it is in some European countries. The product itself is about 150-200 euros for 3 shots plus whatever your doctor charges. Then 1 refreshment shot each year to keep it up (50 euros or so?).

Well, the effect isn't 100%. The company rates it at 70% of the cases will be helped, doctors rate it between 50% and 80% effectiveness. HOWEVER, everyone I heard it from has had an effect, so I do not know about the "unlucky 30%" who have no effect at all. I've heard nothing but positive things. Here what's in it that it helps against: " Escherichia coli 7,5 × 10 Morganella morganii 3,75 × 10 Proteus mirabilis 3,75 × 10 Klebsiella pneumoniae 1,5 × 10 Enterococcus faecalis 2,5 × 10" So basically StroVac will only work if one of these is your major trigger.

It's basically a "very last straw" if nothing helps. Now, the problem is not only the 70% chance, but also the side effects. They are SEVERE for most, which is also why it's not worth it for people who don't suffer badly. Expect 1 week of high fevers, dizziness to fainting, diarreah and throwing up (preferably simultaneously), severe muscle aches and headaches, heat and cold rushes and so on. Basically very terrible flu symptoms. This is after every shot, so you'd be knocked out for 3 weeks.

There's also another medication called "UroVaxom". The internet tells me it is only available in Switzerland, but that can't be because I know people who take it or have taken it in the past. I have no clue where that could be available in the US. It's supposed to be for people who aren't bad enough to go for StroVac right away because supposedly most people don't get any side effects from that.

Either way, if you cannot have a normal life due to UTIs, you should talk to your doc (GYN or something) if there is a way to get a hold of one of those two.

[pirouette]

I saw this on Reddit earlier, and of course I wondered what Freejinger would make of it. I think there's a difference between these people (or at least the ones whose comments I read) and the fundie set, though, and that's that these people didn't necessarily feel that waiting would automatically guarantee great sex the first time. If it wasn't working for someone, they recognized that, did other activities, and tried again later. Regardless of how you feel about "guarding your heart" or whatever you want to call it (do what you want when you want, but that's different for everybody), it's ludicrous to assume that following this one rule guarantees that everything's going to be great from the get-go. That's an extremely dangerous mindset because it gets young people to think that marriage is going to be magical and perfect all the time, and when it's not, the frustration happens.

[So Says I]

I didn't know that until I got my first UTI right after I started having sex. Of course, my sex education was so vague I didn't actually know what sex was until I had it, so it isn't shocking that I didn't know that.

The reason older sis gave me the book was that she knew my parents wouldn't tell me anything about sex, ever. That book taught me, and the friends I showed it to, more than you could ever learn in sex ed. It covered everything from masturbation, to oral sex, to STDs, and abortion. I wasn't a super early bloomer, but when the time came, I was pretty educated. :lol: I imagine when my son reaches puberty, I'll of course actually talk to him, but he'll be getting the latest edition of "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives." :D

[docmom]

It's called "StroVac" here. I'm not even sure if it's available in the US, it is in some European countries. The product itself is about 150-200 euros for 3 shots plus whatever your doctor charges. Then 1 refreshment shot each year to keep it up (50 euros or so?).

Well, the effect isn't 100%. The company rates it at 70% of the cases will be helped, doctors rate it between 50% and 80% effectiveness. HOWEVER, everyone I heard it from has had an effect, so I do not know about the "unlucky 30%" who have no effect at all. I've heard nothing but positive things. Here what's in it that it helps against: " Escherichia coli 7,5 × 10 Morganella morganii 3,75 × 10 Proteus mirabilis 3,75 × 10 Klebsiella pneumoniae 1,5 × 10 Enterococcus faecalis 2,5 × 10" So basically StroVac will only work if one of these is your major trigger.

It's basically a "very last straw" if nothing helps. Now, the problem is not only the 70% chance, but also the side effects. They are SEVERE for most, which is also why it's not worth it for people who don't suffer badly. Expect 1 week of high fevers, dizziness to fainting, diarreah and throwing up (preferably simultaneously), severe muscle aches and headaches, heat and cold rushes and so on. Basically very terrible flu symptoms. This is after every shot, so you'd be knocked out for 3 weeks.

There's also another medication called "UroVaxom". The internet tells me it is only available in Switzerland, but that can't be because I know people who take it or have taken it in the past. I have no clue where that could be available in the US. It's supposed to be for people who aren't bad enough to go for StroVac right away because supposedly most people don't get any side effects from that.

Either way, if you cannot have a normal life due to UTIs, you should talk to your doc (GYN or something) if there is a way to get a hold of one of those two.

It is not available in the US. There is currently a large study ongoing in Germany which may, if positive, open up discussion in the US. The problem is that the vaccine is whole killed bacteria and can make you very, very sick (as noted above). There are other people working on subunit vaccines and mucosal vaccines (given intranasally or intravaginally) that might have fewer side effects. After reading what little I can about StroVac (most of the literature is in German) I'd hold off for now!

[Pinkgirl81]

I was a virgin when I got married at age 20- and it wasn't until my first sexual encounter post divorce (at age 26) that I said to my partner "OMG...that's supposed to feel GOOD!?" He was shocked, but honestly, my sex life while I was married left so much to be desired, I really couldn't fathom what all the "fuss" about sex was- it NEVER felt good, I just didn't understand why people cared so much about sex!

[Mellanya]

It is not available in the US. There is currently a large study ongoing in Germany which may, if positive, open up discussion in the US. The problem is that the vaccine is whole killed bacteria and can make you very, very sick (as noted above). There are other people working on subunit vaccines and mucosal vaccines (given intranasally or intravaginally) that might have fewer side effects. After reading what little I can about StroVac (most of the literature is in German) I'd hold off for now!

Yes, it does make you very sick and doctors advise getting the shots during holidays or something. It's also somewhat discussed here due to the supposedly questionable effectiveness. It's also a self-pay thing, which is rare in a public health care system - that alone proves how doubted it is.

But, as I said, there are women for whom trying it makes sense. Of course not the ones with one UTI a month or even a week, but there are some who suffer on a daily basis, aka, waking up at 4AM with incredible pain, suffering all morning, taking antibiotics daily which isn't much healthier than a difficult vaccine and the follow up painkillers which you need due to constant irritation. Not to mention the effect on relationships - a marriage in which the woman starts to cry of fear when her husband wants to come closer are doomed to fail. I seriously feel for everyone who goes through that, it is a publically underestimated illness, and that sucks because you will be made out as a crybaby, or a faker, or someone who is plain weird. Most men cannot imagine why it's such a big deal (never suffering from UTIs, bah!).

UTIs can really destroy your quality of life to a degree which is comparable to other chronic illnesses. The worst is that the pain multiplies. One UTI a month doesn't hurt nearly as much as the ones you get after a month of daily UTI.

You have to really suffer for a doc to even give it to you, but if you do, it makes sense to go through the illness it brings for 6 weeks.

[RosyDaisy]

I've never gotten a UTI after sex, but then again my mother told me you should pee after sex.

[yewchapel]

Some women will unfortunately get UTI after UTI even if they always pee after sex.